Verona, Italy
Dear Zeus,
I don't know how many times I've tried writing this letter for you. If I count the papers where I have written the letters for you --- I guess it will reach a million rim of papers.
I don't even know why I am writing you this. All I know is that I am in Verona -the city of tragic love but I can't really imagine our love ending in a tragic kind of way. Up until now I believe with what you have said to me --- that you will give me the happy ending that I deserve. I'm waiting ---still waiting because I never lost faith in you. You know it's kinda funny because I said that we both needed three years but I can't seem to think of another morning without you.
By the way, this is supposed to be a letter for Juliet. But I ended up writing a letter for you. You see, they have here an altar for Juliet Capulet - the one they had on that movie we watched together one rainy night. I hope you still remember that. The Juliet Ladies told me that if I write a letter to Juliet my love wish will come true. Apparently Juliet is a wishing machine - that if you wish to her, she'll grant it because she didin't want the endings to be like hers.
Guess what's my wish?
I wish for our happy ending. The two of us together walking hand in hand as we both face tomorrow in each other's arms.
I am a fool for believing that I can love another man. I can never love another man - I can never find someone like you, Zeus. You're so selfless. I never thougt that a man would want to give me everything in life - that a man would actually part his life just to make me happy. I am so touched.
I know that I was never a perfect girlfriend to you - I thought of replacing you, of hurting you. I kissed another man and I made out with him. It's unforgivable but there you are and your still willing to accept me as I am. I love you, Zeus.
I will never get tired of writing that, saying that and making you feel that. I love you so much, I love you to the moon and back. I will love you till the Earth finish it's rotation, I will love you tomorrow, today and yesterday. My love will reach heaven, my love will reach hell - or your brother's pad - you know - the underworld.
If I am reincarnated, I will look for your soul and be with you again. If I have to replay what happened to us just to have you back in my life I will still go through the pain but I'll make a better choice. I'll wait for you. I will never do the mistakes I did while in pain. I love you Zeus.
I learned a lot from your selfless love. I love you so much. I wish I can say this to you face to face.
Two nights ago, I couldn't sleep because of what I heard on the other line while talking to your sister Athena. You said and I quote that I was born to love Gianna Franceska Consunji - Dela Monte. It was amazing how you're seas away and yet you could still make my knees shake. I didn't know if I heard a canon bomb that moment of it was my heart pounding with so much joy...
How can you be so patient with me? Mom said that love is always the answer and now I understand her. When it comes to love, everything is invalid. Love is the only thing that never changes in this world. Love is as permanent as change. Love is the reason why everything is colorful and magical and in our case, love is the reason why we are what we are...
I love you Zeus...
I'll be home soon.
With so much love and faith,
Your sweet little Gianna.
I smiled at I put the letters in one of the bricks on the infamous Juliet's wall. Nakakatuwang isipin na halos mag-iisang taon na ako dito sa Verona at sa araw na ito, naisip kong bumalik na. Balikan ang taong naghihintay sa akin. Si Zeus. Hindi ko naman na kayang patagalin ang tatlong taon pa. Noong ika-anim na buwan na hindi ko siya kasama, wala akong ginawa kundi ang umiyak nang umiyak. Akala ko kaya kong paninidigan na nandito ako at siya ay nandoon habang hinahanap ang aming mga sarili. Just like what Casiel said - pwede ko namang hanapin ang sarili ko nang kasama si Zeus pero mas pinili kong magkalayo muna kami. I want him to be sure of his feelings for me.
But then, the man had parted his liver for my happiness - sigurado na talaga siya sa nararamdaman niya. Ako, kinalingan kong hanapin ang dating ako - iyong Gianna na bagay kay Zeus. Kung sabagay, alam ko naman na ang sasabihin niya, hindi man ako, o ako man ang babaeng mahal niya ay tatanggapin niya ako. I know what he's thinking, I just have to fix myself. Pinagsisihan ko lahat ng choices na ginawa ko noong wala siya.
Pinagsisihan ko ang pagsubok na kalimutan siya.
Pinagsisihan ko ang pakikipaglapit kay King David.
I sighed. I wiped my tears and left Juliet's wall. Naglakad-lakad ako sa siyudad. Dinadama ko ang hangin na dala ng amihan. Bukas ay babalik na ako ng Pilipinas at bukas - kahit anong oras ako dumating ay pupuntahan ko si Zeus, yayakapin ko siya, mamahalin ko siyang muli, kung kailangan na ako pa ang mag-propose para matuloy lang ang kasal namin ay gagawin ko. Wala na akong sasayanging oras. Hindi ko na kaya ng isa pang araw na wala siya sa tabi ko.
"Gianna!"
I looked back at Cafe Verona when I heard that familiar voice. Napangiti ako nang makita ko si king David na lumalabas doon at may dalang isang cup ng kape. He was with his friend Axel John. Natawa ako kahapon nang tawagan niya ako para sabihin na liligawan niya ako at sisimulan niya iyon sa Verona. He also told me that he made Zeus his archenemy. He's really funny. We had dinner last night at doon ko na siya kinausap. I apologized for everything that I did to him. I apologized for sending him signals and for making him confuse. He just looked at me for a second and sighed. He said that was actually the first time that someone refused to be his girl. Tawa ako nang tawa. Para kasing animated ang reaction niya.
Mukhang iyon nga ang unang pagkakataon na nabasted at na friendzoned siya.
"Tang inang Zeus iyon! Wala siya dito pero tinamaan ako ng kidlat niya. What's that? I thought I heard him saying BURN, KING DAVID?!"
Wala yata akong ginawa kagabi kung hindi ang pagtawanan siya. Si Axel John naman ay nakatingin lang sa aming dalawa. Napansin kong observant siyang tao. At lalo akong natawa nang ipakilala siya sa akin ni King David bilang si Axel John Apelyido. Iyong tipong, anong apelyido mo? Ano pa, 'di Apelyido.
"Saan ka galing? Did you write to Juliet again?" Ibinigay niya sa akin ang kapeng hawak niya. Tumango lang ako tapos ay nginitian siya. Naisip ko na ang bait-bait ni King David. Binulungan ko din si Juliet na sana magkita na sila ng taong mamahalin siya katumbas o mas pa sa pagmamahal niya para dito.
"Uuwi na ako ng Pinas bukas." I informed him. He just grinned.
"Taking back your man, huh, Gianna?" Ginulo niya ang buhok ko. "Be brave and good luck."
"Dude, I'm calling Arruba but she's not answering, do you think she's okay?" Biglang wika ni Axel John na nasa likuran ko pala. Hawak niya ang I-phone niya at kunot na kunot ang noo. Axel John is one of a hell of a good looking man. Pero mas gwapo pa rin ang Zeus ko.
"Maybe she's just in with a patient." Inis na si King David. "Can't you just give her a break?! Nasa Pilipinas iyong tao nasa Verona tayo. Huwag mo siyang tawagan!"
Napahagikgik na naman ako. Axel John grinned. My giggles turned to laughter when he mimicked King David.
"Hello, Arru? I can't sleep. The window is too wide. I can't call the maids! It's late! I have my gun with me but I don't like overseas violence. Can you just hum to me as I sleep, please Arru. Just like before..."
Napasigaw naman ako nang suntukin ni King David si Axel John. Pumagitna ako sa kanila.
"Stop! King David, Axel John is just kidding you. Ano ka ba?!" Pinipigil ko ang tawa. Umiling si King David.
"Ang gago mo! Wala kang karapatang tawagan si Arruba! Gago!"
"Bahala ka! Babalik na ako sa hotel!" Balik - sigaw naman ni Axel John. Naiwan kaming dalawa ni King David doon. Pinipigilan ko pa rin ang matawa. I was just eyeing him. His face is so red.
"Do you really like bullying your friends?" I dares ask him. Napaiking na lang siya. Sanay na ako sa topak niya. Naglakad-lakad kaming dalawa pagkatapos ay naghiwalay din kami nang makarating sa hotel. I kissed his cheeks goodbye. Umakyat naman na ako sa silid ko para mag-ayos ng mga gamit. I want to call my mom so I can tell her that I'll be coming home and that I'll be seeing her but I wanted it to be a surprise kaya si Hera na lang ang tinawagan ko. Hindi naman kasi niya iyon masasabi kay Mommy dahil hindi pa rin sila madalas mag-usap sa ngayon.
Matapos ang usapan namin ay masaya akong nagpatuloy sa pag-eempake. Excited na akong umuwi. Mamayang gabi ay pupunta pa ako sa Fifth Street para sa flying lantern festival. I want to experience that before I come back to the Philippines.
Nang matapos ako ay nag-ayos naman ako para sa lakad ko. I was really excited. All I can think about was how much I want to Zeus and of course my family.
I wore a blue lacey knee-lenght dress that afternoon. Inilugay ko lang naman ang buhok ko at pagkatapos ay isinuot ko ang blue ballet flats ko. Pakiramdam ko ako si Blair Waldorf.
I left the hotel to go to where the flying latern festival will take place. Excited ako. Dala ko pa ang camera ko para makunan ang event na pupuntahan ko. I was feeling a bit giddy tht momet and I don't know why. Pakiramdam ko kas ay nakaespesyal ng araw na ito para sa akin.
Nang marating ko ang lugar ay napakarami nang tao doon. I was smiling. Nagsimula na yata ang festival. There were so many people around the area. Many of them were lovers ---kissing each oter under the moonlight. It was quite romantic. I like walking around and seeing other people enjoying themselves -somehow, nakikita ko si Zeus at ako sa kanila.
I stopped in the middle of he venue. Sa dulo niyon ay may stage na napalibutan ng mga Christmas lights. It was a cute event. Namili na rin ako ng lantern na pililiparin.
The woman told me that it will be a special moment for me. Hindi ko alam kung bakit niya iyon sinabi pero nagpasalamat pa rin ako.
Naghanapa na ako ng mapupwestuhan. Tumayo ako malapit sa bonfire at sak naghintay. I was looking up at the night sky. It is indeed a beautiful night pero mas gaganda ang gabing yin kung naroon si Zeus.
Isa-isa nang pinalipad ng mga lanterns. Nakangiti ako habang dahan-dahang pinakakawalan ang mga iyon. It was as if I am letting go of my past and accepting my future and my present.
Habang nakatingala ako ay may kung anog tugtugin akong narinig. Nasipat ko ng entablado at naino ko ang pigurang nakatayo doon.
I didn't know that there would be a live band tonight. I was smiling. The man was playing a vey familiar tune. It was magical.
Tell me that you turned down the man
Who asked for your hand
'Cause you're waiting for me
And I know, you're gonna be away a while
But I've got no plans at all to leave
And would you take away my hopes and dreams?
Just stay with me....
I stared at the stage. The singer seemed oddly familiar. I just found myself listeing to the song. The song kindmof reminded me of Zeus and what happened to us. I missed him terribly. Kahit na masaya ako na makikita ko na muli siya ay nakakaramdam naman ako ng takot. Paao kun hindi pa rin maging madali sa amin ang lahat? Paano kung siya naman ang magbago ngayon? Kakayanin ko ba ang lahat ng ginawa ni Zeus para sa akin?
Naisipan kong lumapit sa stage at napatanga ako nang makita ko si Marco Polo Ledesma na nakatayo doon at kumakanta. I guess he saw me because he winked and smiled at me. Natawa ako. What is he doing here?
All my senses come to life
While I'm stumbling home as drunk as I
Have ever been and I'll never leave again
'Cause you are the only one
And all my friends have gone to find
Another place to let their hearts collide
Just promise me, you'll never leave again
'Cause you are the only one...
I was thiniking. I know I shouldn't are a lot about him but I suddenly remembered Athena ----Zeus' little sister. I somehow knew that they're friends now. Hindi naman nabanggit ni Athena na nandito si Marco Polo. Sabagay si Zeus lang ang taning pinag-uusapan naming dalawa. Minsan ay hindi ako makapaniwala na magkaibigan na kami ngayon without Zeus knowing. May thrill kapag ganoon. Para bang masarap isipin na may alam ako sa kanya na hindi niya alam. The man doesn't have any idea that I know what he's doing. Kahit pa nga iyong doctor's appointment niya ay alam ko at masaya akong malaman na maayos siya ngayon.
I waved Marco Polo goodbye. Natatawa ako. Akala ko kasi ay pang - modelo lang siya. The man has talent. I turned away from him. Nagulat ako dahil pagharap ko ay may taong nakatayo na roon. I looked up and gasped. Ang una kong nakita ay ang kanyang mga mata ---- those silver eyes...
"Hey..."
That voice...
He smiled.
That smile.
It's my MightyZeus.
Tears started falling from my eyes. My knees were shaking like hell. I was very nervous. I was happy. I was anxious. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero naiiyak ako talaga. I guess this are the things that I should've have feel on our wedding day. Walang abog, walang kahit na anong salita a niyakap ko si Zeus nang napakahigpit. Iyak ako nang iyak dahil sa saya.
"Three years is too long, my sweet little, Gianna..." He whispered in my ear. I just cried. I couldn't find the right words to say. But he was right --- three years is too long and I think that we have waited enough. Hindi ko pa rin alam kung ako na ba ang bagay kay Zeus or if what I did is enough forall my shortcomings. Basta ang alam ko ---masaya ako ngayon at nandito siya. Pasasalamatan ko ang kahit na sinong nagdala sa kanya dito.
"I love you, Zeus. I don't know if I deserve you now but I do and I love every bits of you." Napapaluhang sabi ko. Hindi ko na alintana ang nangyayari sa paligid. Gusto ko lang siyang makasama. "Zeus?" Tawag ko sa kanya nang maramdaman kong nanigas ang katawan niya. I looked at him. Bahagya akong lumayo sa kanya. Naahawak siya sa parte ng katawan niya kung saan suya inoperahan noon. Nakangiwi siya.
"Ahhh!" Sakit na sakit ang ekspresyon ng mukha niya. Napalitan ng takot ang kasiyahan ko. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. Out of nowhere nakita ko si Athena na tumatakbo papalapit sa amin. Napuno rin ng pag-aalalaang mgaata niya. Naluuha ako. Bakit ngayon pa ito nangyayari kung kailan makasama na kaing dalawa. What am I gonna do?
"KUYA! Shit naman!" Tumingin si Athena sa akin. "I took him here because he misses you! Hindi ko naman alam na ganitoang mangyayari." Bumagsak si Zeus sa pavement. Napahagulgol ako.
"Zeus!" Hinawakan ko ang kamay niyang nakapatong sa parteng iyon. Matagal akong umiiyak. Nakapikit lang siya. Nakita kong lumapit na rin sa amin si Marco Polo. Si Athena naman ay nahihirapan nang huminga. Natatakot ako. Marco Polo took Athena and he started making calls. Tiningnan ko si Zeus. Nakahawak lang ang kamay niya sa akin. Napakunot ang noo ko nang maramdaman kong may kung anong malit na bilog ang nakaipit sa gitna ng mga palad. I stared at his face. Binawi ko ang kamay ko at nakita ko sa palad ko ang engegament ring na ibinigay niya sa akin noon tapos ay ibinenta ko nang iwan niya ako. Nakita kong iminulat niya ang kanyang mga mata at saka ngumisi. Nanlaki naman ang mga mata ko at hinampas ko siya.
"Fuck you, Zeus!" Inis na inis na sigaw ko. He laughed. Hinaplos niya ang mukha ko at pinahid ang mga luha ko.
"Marry me again, Gianna. This time its for real --- no running away. No lies. No leaving you behind. Marry me..."
And I said yes. Sino pa ako para tumanggi. Mahal na mahal ko si Zeus kahit na gago siya ngayong gabi. Hinalikan ko siya sa gitna ng napakaraming tao. Nasa pavement pa rin siya at ako ay nakauposa tabi niya. I heard people were applausing. Napapangiti ako. Inalalayan ko siyang tumayo. He was all smiles. Inakbayan niya ako at sumigaw siya sa lahat.
"We're getting married next week!"
Lalo lang nagpalakpakan ang mga tao sa paligid.
"Akin ka na." Sabi ko sa kanya. He cupped my face.
"You got me at Hades' apartment. I love you, my sweet little Gianna."
"I love you too, Zeus..."
"That's great love birds but we have to take Athena to the hospital." Nakasimangot na sabi ni Marco Polo. Zeus grinned.
"Oh! She'll be okay. She just need oxygen. Ako, I have here all I need." Kinindatan niya ako. I kissed his nose.
Tonight, I realized something.
Zeus and I --- we're born to love each other 'till the last day of eternity...