The class start to shush each other as Angela turns to them, putting on a tour guide smile.
"Next we will be going to Exhibit: Clint. Or Hawkeye as you may know him."
"Why is it called Clint?" Asks Cindy, raiding her hand.
Angela smiles. "That's a good question! See, if you have been paying attention, the places we've visited so far have been labelled after different Avengers, or people. The last one we went to, the training room, was labelled 'Lang', because Scott Lang, also known as Ant-Man, needs training. You see... Mr. Stark has quite a sense of humour. That is why this next exhibit, is for fails."
The class was roaring with laughter.
She leads them all through a door where they spend 30 minutes looking at failed inventions.
-----
"Stark is so going to get it later," growls Clint in the vents. He looks across to Natasha, who gives him a look.
"And what are you going to do Clarissa? Threaten him with a bagel?"
"Shut it!"
"Don't tell me what to do!"
"Don't tell me what to do!" He mocked in a high pitch.
"That's it-" Natasha tackles him to the bottom of the vents, then sees the grate underneath him and does the only reasonable thing. She punches it open and pushes Clint down it. He yells on the way down, and lands on a kid with a red shirt, the others in the group screaming at the sudden drop.
"You're so going to get it!" He screams after her, tears in his eyes as Nat simply snickers, crawling away in the vents to plot Hawkeyes next loss.
'0w0'
"Alright, sooo next we're going to see is Tony Stark's private lab, and I'd like to remind all of you before we continue the waivers you signed read you are not allowed to spill what they're working on."
A girl raised her hand. "They?"
"Yes, Tony Stark And his... ah... assistant."
Flash laughed. "So he does have an assistant! Guess it proves Peter was lying!"
Angela frowned, but kept talking and explaining.
"So you are not allowed to take any photos, videos or physical evidence of what you will see or you could be in a lot of trouble by Tony Stark. I'd like to remind you that he was the one that gave you all permission to see what you're about to see, and... well you'll know why. Now, what you are about to see is classified, so you are not allowed to share any of the information you will be exposed to. You all signed waivers before coming saying the exact same thing. So you've had your warning. Do not take a picture or video. Got it?" She said, and the class looked a bit afraid of what she's meaning. They all nod nonetheless.
"What are we going to see?" Jamie says to Lisa, who shrugs.
"Hope it doesn't kill us." Is all she said. "Hope it doesn't... kill us." She repeated under her breath, then slightly sighs. Jamie nodded in agreement at her silent wish.
"You are all teenagers." Angela starts to speak again. "So I assum -and hope- you are old enough to understand our rule of not using your phone. Am I correct?"
The class nods.
"She just called Mr. Harrison a teenager," Whispers Abe with a undertone of humor.
"Shh."
The teens and Mr. Harrison all avoid touching their phone, even brushing it with their fingers as some sort of safety measure, like she'd catch them touching it and escort them to a meat grinder for humans or something.
Well... All except Flash.
-
"Hey Poutine, put on Shakira 'hips don't lie'" said Harley.
"You got it dipwad." Said FRIDAY.
Peter snickered.
"Hey!" Exclaimed Hadley, speaking to Friday but directing it at Peter.
"That's what you get for putting an air horn as my alarm clock last month."
Harley snorts. "That is like, one of the oldest tricks in the book. It's literally somewhere close behind toothpaste in Oreos and whoopsie cushions. Also, seriously? dipwad? Even Steeb could come up with something better than that."
Peter scoffed. "Whatever old man."
At that moment, Tony rolled out from under the car, wiping his hands on the grease stained rag.
"Are you guys talking about me again?" He asked with a sad face.
Peter spun to Harley and started speaking in a very girly voice. "OMG did like, see dad today? I mean, grease stains on your left cheek are like so yesterday,"
Tony rolled his eyes but the boys would not give up the joke until they did. "I know right? I can't eve believe like I can't even," copies Harley. Before continues he cuts himself off. "THIS IS THE GOOD PART EVERYONE SHUTP!"
It was silent for five seconds while they waited for the chorus that Harley deemed 'the good part'.
"OOH BABY WHEN YOU TALK LIKE THAT! YOU MAKE A WOMAN GO MAD!" Scream-sung Harley, totally off time with the song. Tony had peered out from under the car so he could watch Harley sing, hair flopping in his face and all around, young and smiling as he wiggles in the tightly wrapped burrito blankets that swaddled him, the ones Tony's done. In that moment, Tony felt complete, smiling softly at Harley and Peter who were like brothers to each other and sons to him.
"Poutine, turn it up twenty." Said Harley.
"You got it haighley."
The song started blasting from the speakers and Peter scooted around the lab, dancing and swaying his exposed hips a bit as Harley kept singing with the song. When it got to the Spanish part, him and Peter both spoke over each other and tried to sing it in Spanish the fastest as Tony just snorted at them but found himself quirking his hips to the song.
Tony bent down to get a fallen wrench, and when he stood up he heard Harley chanting, "DANCE DANCE DANCE!"
And, "WHY?"
"BECAUSE THE SONG"
"KAYKAY!"
Tony groaned. Peter had his shirt unbuttoned so his chest and stomach was exposed, so when he started doing the sprinkler it flapped everywhere.
In Tony's sigh at their idiotic ness, and slight amusement, he heard Harley scream "DANCE MONKEY! DANCE!" And Peter falling on the floor from laughing as Friday turned the song down s few notches.
"Kiddies, what have I told you about stripping in the lab?" Tony joked as Peter picked himself up off the Floor.
"That only you're allowed to?"
Tony stuck his tongue out st the boy and the boy stuck out his tonge back.
"You know, you're all sarcastic little shits that are the equivalent of those scratchy blankets in a closet that appeared out of nowhere and make your life miserable."
Peter grins and says, "love you too dad."
While Harley yells "Fuck you!"
And Friday says I'm Steve's imitated voice, "language."
Tony grumbles "damn youthes." and turns back to his work, picking up the wrench.
"Ya know, you'd think tony would've accepted us as his baby locusts by now and we're gettin' weirder and weirder by the second." Harley said.
Tony glanced up. "I do. My pride and joy, my life my light, you're both my baby locusts. I love you both." Tony clapped a hand over his heart and made a pained expression.
Harley made an 'awwwwww' sound while Peter was in the Forest, gathering wild jelly beans and came back with handfuls and mouthfuls of them, and he was just starting to vibrate from a sugar high as he whipped the Cheetos at Harley who cursed at him, then backflippsd and landed on the table, saying, "hey Fri play dNcing queen. And put that moment to Dad Is My Puta, saves for He Totally Loves Me."
"Will do Albus Perceval Wolfrick Brian Dumbledore."
As soon as dancing queen was playing, Peter was dancing lik Monica's imitation of Chandler dance and lots of hip moving on the metal tables, earning wolf whistled from Harley.
"'CAUSE YOU ARE THE DANCING QUEEN!" Sung Peter from on top of the table, using a screwdriver as a microphone. "YOUNG AND SWEET!"
"Pete!" Tony shouted But was over peered by the speakers and Peter singing at the top of his lungs.
"ONLY 17!"
Then Peter stopped and turned to tony. "Wassup?"
"Rock music. Now. Not what gets played at a summer camp."
"Kk luv u bae :3" he said with a wink and changed the song, on a very bad sugar high. Tony prepared for five minutes in advance when Peter would be crawling and swinging from the ceiling playing 'Chandelier' by Sia and possibly breaking another bone.
The song Umberella by Rihanna Started playing, a song that made Peter gasp and begin to dance violently, as Tony put his head in his hands and showed his disappointment that a genius, son of Tony Stark and Pepper Potts at age 15, could dance and do pirouettes. But secretly, he was smiling.
Since Harley was, as he put it, incapacitated, and Peter was very hyper, not long after they changed the music again at Tony's request (or demand, more like it) Peter was playing air guitar to 'The Night Begins To Shine' by B.E.R.
"Pete!" Tony shouted But was over powered by the speakers and Peter screaming in rage "PLAYIN HARD TO GET! I CANT UNDERSTAND!" along with the lead singer at the top of his lungs.
So Tony speaks for himself. "Fri, play Nirvana shuffle."
"Yes Mr. Dad."
He hacked into Fridays mainframe and changed the system names again, didn't he. Tony thought.
Genius.
For about 6 seconds of Peter adjusting to the song, sliding across the floor and making guitar noises and sliding across the room on his knees doing a solo, his goggles over his eyes as he continue to work on the web shooters, pausing his singing to yelp at the shooters when they gave him a small shock, Tony notices something in the corner of his eye and smirks. Time for his great reveal plan to prove Peter isn't lying.
"Fri music off."
"Yes boss dad." Tony once again sighed. When the music cut off abruptly, Peter looked at tony.
"Why'd you do that? I was totally vibing and showing off my good moves." He pretends to be in a photo shoot, the lab-made sugar jelly beans that were specifically created for someone with enhanced metabolism like Peter, altering his sense of when something is serious or not.
"Peter!" He said in an exasperated I'm-your-dad-And-you're-in-trouble-mister tone.
"Yeah Padre?" He asked and ignored Harley's comments and demands for more dancing as his last request before he dies.
"You have an audience."
"So why haven't You thrown roses on me? You have money. Shower me with roses!" He yells and looks up at the ceiling with his arms out waiting to be rained on.
"No kid, I mean you have an AUDIENCE."
Peter got up from his knees, making a comment on the cracks, and looked where Tony pointed at and froze with his mouth dropped.
"Shit."
"Bambino no swearing."
Because behind the glass window, stood the Peters class, staring with open mouths, noses, and eyes, watching Tony Stark, Harley Keener and Peter Parker act so domestically it hurt their eyes.
And the one phone that was uploading a video onto the internet. The one phone no one noticed.
Harley was cackling. "You're screwed!"
And he was absolutely right. Peter was screwed. But Tony, was satisfied.