Without even knowing and after going around the city she end up going to a really special place back in Brighton. After 2 hours she finally arrives at where she wanted, still having the sun shining, which made her stop for a moment for herself. It has been a while since she had visited Brighton, bringing her loads of memories. Her eyes were closed and she was taking deep breaths, trying to calm herself down. Her mind was going crazy and she knew that the only place that would calm her down in there was a really special one for her so she just started to walk to a park that was near the bus station, since she took a bus to go there. She didn't care about anything else. All she wanted was to go there and once she got there, she went to her spot and that was where she saw a place with some old flowers on the floor. Once Alex saw that she couldn't contain her tears and started to cry, letting them stream down her face. She got closer and she saw the tree where she and Sophie used to go every single day at the end of the afternoon. The tree had their initials on it and, under it, it had the last flowers Alex got there, which made her smile for a little even though the tears kept streaming down.
Alex never got the courage to go to the cemetery where she was. She knew if she went there it would be her end so she found that way to be closer to her. It was only hers and no one knew about that spot what made it become unique for Alex. It was there she did all the grieving when the accident happened and throughout the years she tried to go there as much as she could until she moved to London, making it harder for her to go and spent some quality time there. That was something that really hurt Alex at that moment because, somehow, going there it would make her be closer to Sophie and the moment she left Brighton it was like she was letting Sophie letting go which was something she didn't want at all. She wanted to keep her closer, showing her that Alex was not letting her go. However, it became hard but she was there at that moment, making her sit down in front of the tree, holding the old flowers in her hands as the tears kept streaming down her face. Alex would make the best out of that moment and after getting herself comfortable, she took a deep breath and looked at everything.
- Hey... - Started Alex, feeling her voice cracking. – You must hate me right now because these flowers are damn old! – She said giggling a little as she looked to the flowers but not seeing anything with blurry her vision was due to the tears. – But don't worry. I will come back here and I will give you the most beautiful ones!! Just like you used to like! – She said nodding a lot. – You probably hate me for the fact that it has been a time since I didn't show up here and I am sorry for that. Things haven't been easy you know?? There are loads of things happening and I hate the fact that I live far. I can't come here when I can and when I feel like coming you know? And it sucks! If I had my own car I would come here every single day just like I promised you I would do...yet, I am failing it already. – Whispered Alex as she kept on talking, cleaning her tears that were streaming down her face. – I have so much to tell you that I don't even know where to start... - She said taking a deep breath as she looked down, taking a moment for herself.
However, she was not alone anymore. After having Alex running away the way she did from the Milkshake, Liam end up following her, taking his own car to follow the bus, ending up in Brighton, just like her. After everything, he couldn't let her be alone and there were loads of questions that he needed to ask, even though he knew they were not going to be good. He was confused and only she could answer his questions and that was why he was there. He was watching her from behind but once he saw her sitting down, near the tree, Liam took the change to get closer, ready to go talk with her and warn Alex he was there, yet he started to ear her talking, making him step a little back but still being able to hear what she was saying. He knew that what he was doing was wrong but he didn't want to interrupt her and he knew that by staying there he would maybe understand some things. Even if everything still seemed really confusing in his head, some pieces were coming together and he was already assuming things that probably he would end up hearing in there. With that, he stood still in a corner, behind a tree, gazing and hearing her carefully, letting her take the moment she needed after everything that happened.
- I made it. – Said Alex after taking the moment for herself. – I got into college like we always dreamt of. I know that if you were here you would be extremely happy. This was always our dream and yet...I am here alone when I should be with you. I should be having you right next to me through this journey, but I am not. I have 20 years and I don't have anyone. I don't have any friends besides Lexi that is the girl that works with me. She is completely crazy in the best way possible. You would love her and we would all be friends you know?? It would be so good!! We would do those typical friends things and we would have loads of fun, take loads of pics and be happy. - She said smiling a lot as she thought of what she was talking about. – She makes me company and she makes me think that she is actually my friend and I couldn't be more grateful for that. She is the one that makes work be good and makes me wanna get out of the house. I still leave with our parents and I can't handle that a lot longer. You have no idea of what they become and dad...dad is not the same. He makes my life a living hell Sophie. He treats me like I was nothing and he keeps on blaming me every single day for what happened. They all hate me so much and it just hurts. It hurts me seeing dad the way he is. He can't stop drinking and he is completely lost and when he gets really mad, he can be really mean to me and to mom...even today...he went to where I work and he made such a scene that he end up slapping me in front of people. – She said as she touched her cheek, still feeling Tom's heavy hand on her face. – He was not like that and he is so damn lost Sophie. I don't know what I can do more to make that stop but I really can't handle that anymore. I know what I did and you know how much I regret it. You know how much I hate myself for what I did to you... - She said crying again, sobbing with the memories she was having. – I miss you so much. – She said crying a lot. – I miss what we used to do together, our karaoke sessions and our Disney movies marathons. I miss having you there for me, hearing me talking and talking all day long. I miss you at home, I miss you everywhere I go and I know things would be so much better with you. You would make my life be so much better like you always made. I even miss when we used to fight for little you know?? Whenever we used to fight and get "mad" at each other we would always fix it in the best way possible, which was simply by being ourselves. – She said rhetorically as she looked to the flowers, giggling with those thoughts and with how she remembered them getting good again, naturally. – I am so sorry for taking you away from this world and believe in me when I say that if I could I would be the one in there and not you but that is something I can't change. You had a life ahead of you and having you here would make dad happy. You were his babygirl, not me and even today he told me I should be the one dead and not you and I do believe in that. – Whispered Alex as she looked down, holding the flowers near her chest.
Hearing those words made Liam feel a pain in his heart, already understanding everything and understanding who Sophie was. The way Alex was talking and the pain she was feeling at that moment was something that was really hurting Liam in ways he didn't even know it was possible. He was seeing her there, saying those things and not being able to do anything was ending him.
- I only bring problems to that family and you were the wise one. – Liam started to hear Alex talking again, which made him keep on listening carefully. - You were always the one putting me in place and yet....you were the one going and not me. I would give everything to go back to that day and make things different... - She whispered as she kept on crying, cleaning her face with how many tears were falling, making her sobbing a lot. – I hope you do forgive me. I hope you still love me the way you used to and I do hope that one day, when we meet each other again, you come run towards me, with your arms wide open to give me a full hug. Those hugs that only you used to give. I hope you never forget me because I will never forget you and that is something I know in me. I know that you will always be with me and there is no one that can replace you. I don't even want that to happen. I want to keep you really close to me and your spot is safe okay?? – She said smiling a little, knowing what she was talking about and really meaning her words. - I wished I could come here more often to tell you my things. I wished you could be my daily diary because I have so many things to tell you!! I have something else to tell you even though you will find it weird.
Alex said that and Liam stopped at that moment, thinking that she would talk about him and about her feelings, which made his heart start beating faster with those thoughts.
- I met a boy!! I mean, the boy met me because I suck at meeting people. – She said giggling a little. – And Sophie, let me tell you that he is so damn good!! He is so cute and he is so lovely! Gosh!! – She said blushing a lot as she remembered Liam. – I don't know where this is going but he makes my heart jump just by thinking of him! He makes me feel things that I didn't even know it was possible! He is making my days so much better and is it weird the fact that I don't like it when he doesn't show up?? Like today, he got damn late to the Milkshake and I got sad you know?? I thought he didn't want to go there to see me after the date we had yesterday. I got the chance to ruin the date for a while and I notice that he stood mad with what I talked but I really didn't mean to hurt him. I do hope he can forgive me and we can keep on seeing each other because I do think I am starting to feel something for him and it's something that I am liking and a lot! – She said blushing a lot as she kept on smiling. With those words, Liam couldn't contain a smile, loving what she was saying and how she was talking about him, making his own heart keep on beating really fast.
- I want to keep him closer to me and I do want things to get bigger with him. He makes me feel good and he understands me. I don't know how to explain but I do feel like I can trust him and I do feel extremely comfortable with him, you know?? I wished you were here to meet him. You would love him and he is really tall! – She said giggling. – Way taller than me but that is not hard right?? And he has some curls but his hair is not that big!! He is brunet and his eyes Sophie....I get lost in his eyes and in his smile. The way he smiles and almost gets his eyes completely closed makes me crazy. The sound of his laughter became one of my favorites you know? And he has massive hands and compared to mine they are really big and every single time he touches me, my entire body gets goosebumps. – She said, closing her eyes, remember how Liam's touch made her feel.
Her eyes kept closed, keeping those thoughts in her head, making her bite her lower lip by thinking of him. She was missing him already and the flashes she was of his face back at the Milkshake was destroying her. He probably had loads of questions to make her and instead of staying there, she ran away.
- He must hate me. – Whispered Alex, nodding a lot. – He must hate me because I just ran away after everything and I felt him alone. I left him alone with so many answers to give me that I am sure he will never want to see me ever again. Maybe it was not meant to be but I really liked him you know?? He was really good and I wished this could continue but I don't think he will want to stay with a murderer anymore...
- You should ask him, you know?? – Liam finally said, not being able to stay there without telling her that he was there. He was hating what she was saying because nothing would keep him from getting to know her and understanding what actually happened.
However, when Alex heard his voice and turned herself back, facing Liam, everything stopped. He was there and he heard everything that she talked about. He followed her there and that was leaving Alex's completely frozen in time. Her heart was exploding and her entire body was shaking, not expecting him to be there and the fact that he listened to everything was terrifying.
- Liam... - It was the only thing she could say at that moment, staying quiet for a while as she kept on gazing his figure in there, standing firm and handsome as he always was, making her know that he was waiting for some answers that she didn't know if she was going to be able to give to him.