Karlie's P.O.V.
"Happy Adoption Klosses!!!" A crowd of people scream as we walk into Cara's Upper East Side townhouse. The whole place is covered in rainbow streamers and balloons. Cara really went all out for this. She had always been their Aunty Cara and now she was also their official aunt. She insisted though that she'd never turn up in a church, so it was really like she was their fun-aunty-godmother fairy. All that matters is that she loves them and they love her. The twins' faces light up as they take in the room. Some of their old friends and some from school in Rhode Island are here as are all of their honorary aunts and uncles; Cara and Ash, Luke and Martha, Selena and even Tree has been invited. I smile at the redhead as she walks over to me, the twins holding onto my hands tight as they take in the scene. I let go and they dash off. Tree looks at me unsure, we haven't physically seen each other in over a year despite talking a lot. She sizes me up, nervous but a glint in her eye.
"Hi, Tree! How are you?! It's so great to see you." I smile widely, telling her it's okay, I'm still me. It's a relief when she breaks out in a smile too.
"It's good to see you, Karlie. I've missed you. You look... really good." She wraps me in a hug, and I relax into it. I wonder if Taylor knows she's here. Tree and I've been emailing for a couple of months now, ever since she found out that I was the secret admirer sending Taylor flowers every month. I don't why I did it. Mainly to make myself feel better. My therapist thought it was my way of keeping my distance but also looking after her because I wasn't ready to let go. She was right about the last part; I would never be ready to fully let go.
"We missed you, Tree." I say, stroking her back as we pull apart. I survey the scene in Cara's townhouse. It's alive with so many people, lots milling around waiting no doubt to talk to me.
"How are the kids?" She smiles, scanning the room before she sees them hugging their Aunty Cara near the kitchen.
"They're amazing," I sigh, relieved as I watch them play with Cara and Ash. All smiles. It had taken a long time for them to smile like that again, months. I look at Tree, not knowing how much she already knows. "How are you?"
"Karlie, we both know that's not the question you want to ask me..." She says, grinning knowingly at me. I take a breath and then ask.
"How is she? Really?" I watch Tree's face.
"She's the same. Stubborn and stupidly committed to work, but less so after Andrea's scare. She... really misses you, and the twins." Tree's expression is layered, and I know that there's a lot unsaid. I always made sure Tree was sworn to secrecy. I didn't want Taylor thinking I was spying on her or that she didn't matter enough to reach out to. It was the opposite. She mattered too much to reach out to. The twins rush over, telling me Aunty Cara has a pile of presents for them to open and asking me to help them. I'm totally unsurprised Cara's gone all out on every front, presents included.
"Say hello to Tree, you guys, you remember her, right?" The twins nod, clearly not as shy as with Selena a few days ago. They remember Tree, plus they've emailed with her a few times.
"Hi Miss Tree! Is Taylor here too?" Archie asks sweetly, I can tell he wants her to be here too. Me too, buddy, I think as I rub my hands through his hair casually. Tree looks at me unsure and I shoot her a smile. She can say whatever she likes.
"Hello Archie, and no sweetie, she's not. I'll tell her you say hi though." Both twins deflate a little, as do I, but I plaster a fake smile on to cover it. Today was a happy day. We were a family. Us three. For now, that was enough.
"Where are these gifts, kiddos? I want to see if Aunty Cara finally bought me the car I've wanted forever!" I joke, letting them lead me toward the kitchen where indeed there is a large mountain of wrapped gifts waiting. Oh boy.
*
Hours later and the twins are happily in Cara's backyard with all their new gifts and playing with their friends. We can see them from Cara's patio a floor above and their laughter is infectious, carrying all the way up. I turn to my best friend, so grateful but also semi-annoyed for how much she spoiled them both. Ashley's hand is wrapped tightly with Cara's and I've never seen her so happy. I'm beyond grateful Cara found love again. Selfishly, it gives me hope someday I may fall in love again too, but after seeing Taylor yesterday I know I'll never love anybody as much as I love her, I know I'll never feel about anyone the way I feel about her. She sets my world on fire, but I'm okay with being ashes from her fire because for a while there, she kept me warm.
"You really, REALLY shouldn't have gotten them so much stuff, you show-off, English wanker." I say, taking a long sip of my champagne and watching Ellie run around with her new huge stuffed unicorn. It's almost bigger than she is and she can barely see where she's going as Archie chases after her in his new astronaut costume. Ash is watching too, she loves the kids and so far, has been really good with them. They even call her Aunty Benzo these days.
"I actually did, Kloss. Those kids deserve it! And plus, I got you something too, it should be here soon. If you're nice to me, I'll let you use my room for it," she wiggles her eyebrows at me and I groan, getting the feeling my gift is less of an object and more of an experience. A version of Vegas 2.0 from when Cara and I were just starting out, before the twins lived with me and back in Cara's wild days. That weekend involved a lot of shots, strip poker and socks-on-the-door so to speak.
"Please just tell me it's not another fucking stripper, please god not again." I sigh. Ash laughs as she watches my face, Cara is shrugging and chugging down her own glass of champagne. "God, Cara! What about the twins?!"
"What about them? They're gonna have to learn about the dirty deed someday! Birds and birds and bees and bees and birds." She rattles on, clearly wanting to be inclusive of the community we both were staunchly part of. I roll my eyes, taking another sip of champagne. I was so not ready to have the s-e-x talk yet.
"Someday far, far away... but not today. Cancel the fucking stripper." I laugh. Luke walks over, his little boy perched on his shoulders. I wave to my nephew; he's grown up so much since I saw him last, not that long ago, but he's now almost one and the sweetest little thing.
"Luke squared, welcome to the fun side of the party." I joke, as I stick out my tongue at Luke Jnr causing him to giggle rambunctiously. "Where's Martha?"
"Bathroom." Luke deadpans and I raise my eyebrows. I'm 99% sure Martha's pregnant again. I'll be wholly unsurprised if 'bathroom' is code for puking. We get lost in conversation about life and parenthood. Martha reappears and I give her a knowing glance, but she waves me off and I don't push. It's another beautiful Spring day. Not too cool but sunny. The Twins rush over to us, begging their uncle Luke to let them play with the baby. They adore their cousin and they kept asking when either Cara or I was going to have a baby. Maybe I really did need to have the sex talk with them. As if they heard my thoughts, Ellie looks over to me from the patio sofa as Luke put the baby in her little lap.
"Mommy, can we PLEASE have a baby brother or sister?" She says.
"You have Benji, babe. Don't push it." I laugh and Cara does too, but Ashley just smiles at Ellie's innocence. Two kids as a single mom was plenty for now. Maybe someday but not now.
"Aunty Cara – will you have a baby with Aunty Benzo soon?" Ellie looks to Cara, expectantly and hopefully. I choke on my champagne because I;'m laughing so hard at my best friend's horrified face.
"I, um... El, why don't you show me your unicorn!" Cara suggests. I mouth 'wimp' to her as she looks back, Ellie dragging her down to the grass and Luke, Junior and Archie hot on their heels.
*
Taylor's P.O.V.
"Thanks, Sean. I'll call you when I'm ready to go." My high heels hit the cobblestone pavement and I look up at the big, beige townhouse. The lights are on and I can see people mingling in the window, the party already in full swing. I check my watch; I was on time. I didn't really feel like partying but there was a chance that Karlie could be here and if not, there was a chance I could find out where she was and I was determined to find her this time, no matter what. I walk up the steps to the front door, trying not to lose my balance as I do, my heels higher than usual. I ring the buzzer and it's a surprise when it's Selena who answers, her smile wavering for a moment when she looks at me. I can't hide the shock on my face, I didn't realize she'd be here too, or that she even knew Cara at all. Her dress is wrapped around her bump. I blink and she's pulling me in the door toward her.
"Oh my goodness! Taylor!?!" She squeals as she squeezes me in a tight hug. She's clearly just as surprised as I am. Her belly keeps us a few inches from each other.
"Sel! What're you doing here?!" I ask at the same time she does, we're both laughing, trying to piece together everything. Cara appears with a blonde beside her, an arm wrapped around her waist and a big smirk on her lips. She looks so happy and relaxed, nothing like the Cara from two summers back. This was clearly not some fling from the night before. This was something right, and real. I'm happy for her.
"Taylah, hi!" Cara gestures me over and hugs me. "Thanks for coming, Tay. I wasn't sure if you would, but I am beyond glad you did."
"Hey! Of course!" I say, stepping further inside, I hold out my hand to the blonde and Cara beams. "I'm Taylor."
"Taylor, this is my girlfriend Ashley Benson, Ash this is Taylor." Cara says proudly before kissing the woman who blushes, pushing her back slightly. I watch sadly, wishing I had my girl to kiss, too. Feeling her lips against mine yesterday was like I'd been brought back to life. Ash breaks out of Cara's embrace, ignoring my outstretched hand to hug me.
"Oh, hi! It's nice to meet you!" I say, stepping back, slightly shocked from the embrace, she smiles at me widely.
"You too!" Ashley smiles before turning to Cara, "Taylor as in...?"
"The one and only." Cara answers kissing her again. Selena is looking between Cara and I curiously, one hand on her stomach. Something is going on but I'm not sure what yet. Cara is smiling at me, a cheeky look in her eyes which is never good. And Selena looks curious but concerned.
"Does she know?" Sel asks Cara dead on and I look between them. Ashley goes off somewhere, saying she'll catch up with us later. Was I the 'she' that Selena was referring to?
"Does who know what?" I ask Cara who isn't looking at me anymore. Cara's about to answer when I hear a laugh that makes me get instant butterflies in my abdomen. I look across the room and, lo and behold, standing on the patio under a million fairy lights is Karlie. She's dressed in a simple linen dress and holding a beer bottle between her two long fingers, casual and elegant as ever. I feel my knees go weak at the sight, the same way they did that night at Luke's.
"This is Karlie's adoption party," Selena smiles amused, nudging the Brit, "And apparently, Cara is playing cupid. Again."
"Hey! Don't blame me! Love makes me do crazy things!" The Brit laughs but watches me nervously, scratching at her neck. I'm glad Cara is still playing matchmaker.
"Excuse me, you two." I smile, beaming at the duo in front of me. Thank God she's here. I walk away from them and head straight to the patio, swiping a glass of champagne from a tray somebody is carrying past me. I take a sip as I approach Karlie from behind. She's talking to a woman I recognize but can't quite put my finger on how I do. She looks so familiar, but I can't place here. I reach up and tap Karlie's shoulder and she turns, her eyes go wide as she sees me, a gigantic smile taking over her face. She's happy to see me. I'm relieved because I'm so goddamn happy to see her. So, so happy.
"Hi." We both say at the same time, like we're on the same wavelength. We do it again, "Hi."
"Double jinx!" The woman beside chuckles, squeezing Karlie's arm. Oh my god... I know where I've seen her before! She's... it's her! She's the woman I saw Karlie with that day in the snow on Lexington. Shit. She holds out a hand to me, eyes scanning mine, "Hi, I'm Luke's girlfriend, Martha. You are?"
I shake her hand, processing. Oh. She's Luke's girlfriend, not Karlie's. I look at Karlie who's still smiling wide but there's a touch of fear present too. I realize I read the situation all wrong and everything I did after was totally... unjustified. Karlie didn't move on, at least not with the woman in front of me. I know I have to answer so I swallow down my guilt, flashing the woman a warm smile even though my body is frozen. "Hi, Martha, I'm Taylor."
"I know, I've heard a lot about you from a lot of people, good things, of course." She laughs sweetly and Luke comes over, a toddler on his shoulders. It must be their son; I'd only seen pictures of him. Luke lifts the kid down, passing him to Martha saying he's hungry. They excuse themselves and it's just Karlie and me. Her gaze is split between me and the backyard below where the twins are running around in the fading afternoon light with a few friends. They look so innocently serene as they play on the grass below.
"So, um, hi! It's good to see you again!" Karlie says, clearly nervous as she takes a swig of beer from the bottle. She's so hot when she does that, even if she's looking at me hesitantly.
"Hi, Karlie." I say, suddenly braver than I feel, I hug her quick and step back. I'm shaking my head as I take her in, it was cute she was so nervous.
"I'm not nervous!" She says, head tilted and smiling. I said that out loud, how embarrassing. I couldn't think straight around her, literally. I can't help but stare into her eyes, eyes I had dreamed of seeing again for so long. In fact, I'd stayed awake half the night reliving the look she had just before she kissed me on the court steps. I didn't want it to be our goodbye kiss. I didn't want to never see her look at me like that again.
"You are cute though." I smile and she blushes, smiling wide again. She's rescued from any more awkwardness by her daughter who comes bouncing upstairs toward us, grabbing onto her mom's long legs with one arm.
"Mommy! Mommy! Oh, hi Taylor!" Ellie's smile is infectious, and I give her a quick hug with her free arm. She's dressed today in a little pink jumpsuit that looks like it's made of linen. Karlie wraps an arm around her little girl, bending down slightly.
"Hey Ellie! Happy Adoption!" I squeak. She smiles, clearly loving all the attention she and her brother have been getting in the past 24 hours but loving even more that Karlie was her Mommy for life.
"Thanks! Oh! Taylor, do you want to come and see my new unicorn? Her name is Freya and she has lots of sparkles! We can play Princess Unicorns! Please, please, please?" Her eyes are big and brown, and I can't say no.
"Sure thing, Ellie!" I shrug at Karlie, who gets it, and releases her daughter. She whispers something to her first though, and I'm curious to know what. Ellie takes my hand and begins to lead me away from Karlie, but Cara stops us at the top of stairs.
"Nuh uh uh, not so fast, Missy," Her hands on her hips and her attention directed at Ellie beside me, "We're about to have cake! Go get your brother and then come back, okay? We all have to wash our hands first!"
Ellie nods eagerly, licking her lips before dropping my hand and rushing off. Cara puts an arm around my shoulders, and I chuckle at her, she was setting me up again. We slowly move across the patio, inching closer to the most gorgeous woman in the room, maybe the whole universe. Karlie.
"Did you and her talk yet?" Cara asks, titling her head toward Karlie. I shake my head, and she rolls her eyes at me, then shots me a look meaningful and layered.
"Kind of, not really... just small talk." It's true, we spoke but not about anything deep. Just hellos before I realized Martha wasn't the woman who was Karlie's new girlfriend. Does she have a new girlfriend at all? Does she think I do? I remember now that Emily answered the phone that time she called me on my birthday, almost two years ago.
"Chicken shit." She smirks as she steers me toward where Karlie is talking to Tree, of all people.
"Hey!" I protest but it's too late, Cara is as Cara does.
"Pock, pock, pock!" She mimics a chicken as she shoves me into Karlie and Tree's conversation. I stumble, righting myself as the two women turn around to see me.
"Oh my god, Tree! What the hell? What are you doing here?!" I laugh, pulling my assistant into a quick hug. The third surprise person here tonight. I have no clue who invited her, or why, really. I'm happy to see her though, that woman has been such a godsend these past few months, well past few years, really.
"Hi, Taylor, sorry... Cara invited me, and I couldn't stay away from those two little munchkins and this one." Tree's voice is shaky as she sticks her thumb toward the tall blonde on her left. Karlie laughs at her, knowing the twins were her favorite always. Who could blame her? They'd be my favorite too if it wasn't for Karlie's effect on me.
"I'm not mad! I'm just shocked! How did you even know about this?!" I say, laughing along with Karlie. She's so relaxed and happy tonight, so ethereal. I feel the same whenever I'm around her. I've missed feeling like this. It was like the past 20 months had been one long dark night, but I was finally stepping into the daylight again, waking up and seeing the sunshine again. Cara walks over, joining us and monitoring our conversation.
"We email." Karlie says casually and my face drops, I'm heartbroken all over again. Tree has been talking to Karlie? This whole time? How come she didn't tell me? Hell, how come Karlie didn't email me too? Karlie notices my face and hers changes as she quickly explains. "I wanted to make sure you'd turn up, yesterday, but I knew I couldn't reach out myself, so Tree helped me get you into that courtroom."
Her admission makes me relax, it was her doing, after all. Selena had obviously helped too. They were all in on it and I had really thought Karlie didn't care at all, when the whole time, she was pulling the strings to make sure I was there.
"You could've." I say simply, Cara is motionless beside me. I'm watching Karlie as her eyes sadden and her head falls forward, solemn.
"I've already put you through more than enough." She says it much more quietly and I can tell she really thinks she's no good for me, or for anyone. It's breaks my heart more than her leaving because she was, is, the goddamn sun, the center of my universe. Life without her was cold and dark and miserable. She was more than good for me, she was everything. How could she not see how amazing she is and lucky we are to know her, let alone love her?
"Oh, for fucks' sake. We're doing cake and then I'm locking you two in a room to talk and figure your shit out!" Cara exclaims, pulling Karlie away into the kitchen. Tree and I look at each other and I smile at her, showing I'm not mad at her. I never could be after everything. I hug her, tight. She was family by now.
"I'm sorry, Taylor, I didn't want to lie to you, but Karlie was pretty headstrong about it. Besides, there wasn't much to tell. We spoke every now and then and she had the twins write to me too. It's her, by the way, the flowers every month. Your Mom's cancer treatments.... It was her the whole time. She's William Bowery."
I feel tears threaten to fall so I blink quickly. The past 20 months, I'd get a delivery of flowers every 13th of the month. Never any specific kind and there was never a card, they just showed up. I assumed they were from my mom or maybe Emily, or the firm was just trying to keep our office pretty. I'd asked Tree to investigate it and she only told me it was a dead-end secret admirer. I never thought for a moment it was Karlie. I wished it was, but I didn't actually think it was. And my mom... I thought it was Cara's doing, I never thought to ask. I should've, though, I should've known it would be Karlie. Cara taps her wine glass as the kids whizz past me to get to her. I laugh at them, tears in my eyes as they zoom between the adult bodies on the deck toward their aunt and Mom. The most beautiful girl I'd ever seen, inside and out.
"Attention! Attention everyone! Oi! People!!" Cara yells, and Ash switches off the music coming through speakers by clapping. "Thanks, baby girl." Cara smiles and Ashley flushes pink at the pet-name. Cara was smitten with her and it was very cute to watch. Not even with Kendall had I seen Cara so wonderstruck. Karlie and the twins stand behind Cara who turns to look at them, love brimming over in her eyes.
"9 and a half years ago, I was at some boring event at a boring hotel when I met this giraffe-like, green-eyed goddess standing beside me. She blew me away with her brains and her humor, and her ideas. We talked all night and she rejected all of my advances because damn her ass is fine! Look at it! I was floored, I gave her all my best moves and nothing! Not that I'm not hot but, because, Toni. But she's for another speech! Anyway, thank fuck we never hooked up because sex often makes things messy and instead, I got a sister from another mister, a best friend and a business partner.
Kar, you've been my best friend for way too close to 10 years now. I was there the day Gigi turned up with the twins and you didn't hesitate for a second before taking them home with you. I was there when we found out what happened, and you went above and beyond to make sure the twins were okay, and your friend could rest peacefully. I was there when you moved into the townhouse and the pipe burst the very first night and the twins cried all night long, so we took turns with them getting them to sleep again. I was there for their very first day of school when they almost toppled over their backpacks were so big. My point is, I've watched you for the past 8 years be these crazy chickens' aunty and then, overnight, become their mom. I've seen how you love and nurture them, how you fight for them and do everything you can to give them the best life, starting of course with me being their godmother! Yesterday, they legally became your kids, but anyone who's known you at all for the past 7 years knows that they've been yours for a very long time, and you've been theirs since the day they were born.
Twinnies, you guys are the funniest, most smart-assed, thoughtful, wonderful, wild little humans and you make everyone around you so happy. I want you to know that I'm totally prepared to sneak you out at night to go clubbing when you're sixteen and get you another dog..."
The twins' eyes almost pop out of their head and Karlie looks like she may kick her best friend's ass once she finishes talking. The rest of us just laugh and smile at the newly legal family of three who are such heart-warming sight together as they watch Cara. They deserve to be this happy.
"Maybe in a few years though, Benji doesn't like other dogs and you know Joe is a delicate soul... Point is, you two are the greatest and we're all so lucky to know and have you in our lives. But! You guys are JUST as lucky to have your mom as your mom. There are very few people in the world as brave and badass and brilliant as she is. She's taught me a lot of shit, and she's always kept me grounded when the world is falling apart. She's the best dancer and baker and she can't sing for crap but it's fun to watch her try. Karlie Kloss, you changed my life, and I know the Twinnies here have changed yours, but everyone in this room is inspired and in awe of you and the family you've built for yourself and these two munchkins. You have never, ever, for even a single day, been sorry for yourself or complained that you didn't get the same 20s experience as the rest of us, you didn't just do the bare minimum for your kids. You stepped up and became the best goddamn Mum I've ever seen. You're amazing. All three of you are. So, happy adoption day to my sister, and my niece and my nephew. To the Klosses!"
"To the Klosses!" We all parrot as we clap and cheer and raise our glasses. Ashley appears from the kitchen with a massive white cake. I can see most of it from here, it's got a huge rainbow across it and 'Congratulations Klosses!' written in red icing with multiple sparklers alight. I grab my phone from my pocket, taking a few pictures because I know they deserve all keepsake of this moment. Karlie and the kids gather together, huffing out the sparks that fly from the metal sticks. We all keep cheering as Karlie wraps her kids up in a hug. Karlie looks up, waving me over to their little group. I'm almost there when I watch as Ellie and Archie both grab a fistful of cake and splatter it on Karlie's nose. I gasp as they do it and Cara roars with laughter, high fiving them. She was such a bad influence. I shake my head and before I can talk myself out of it, I do what Karlie did yesterday. I kneel in front of her and kiss her, licking away some of the frosting from her chin, her lips. Her arms wrap around my waist, pulling me into her lap and eliciting laughs from me. Immediately, she's kissing me back, tasting like sugar and happiness. I see a flash go off and I know that this photo will have me smiling the same way I did yesterday when Ellie kissed my cheek. I'm so fucking happy, I'm home. All's well that ends well if I end up with her.
* *
Karlie's P.O.V.
It's late and we've all convened out on the deck, under the dozens of fairy lights and sitting on patio furniture. The twins are passed out from too much cake in one of Cara's guest rooms alongside Luke Jnr., but this is the after-party really. Most people have already left and now it's just Cara, Ash, Mario, Luke, Martha, Taylor and me. Cara, as promised, locked us in her bedroom closet after the cake. The irony was not lost on us. We made out for a bit before we started talking and then, I apologized again. She told me she was sorry too. She understood why I did what I did, she understood I was scared, and she forgave me, but she made it clear I'd hurt her. I know it'll take a little while to build back her trust. She told me all about her mom, and how stupid she felt for not guessing the flowers were from me. We spent another 20 minutes making out before Cara came and released us, clearly pleased with herself. She was scarily good at matchmaking if she wanted to be. Now, I have my arms wrapped around Taylor as she leans against me. We've all been sitting out here drinking, even Cara's had a few but I'm watching her carefully. Conversation is light as we start sharing stories of the twins, still celebrating them being cemented as a part of this crazy family that share no DNA but enough love to make the world go around. We're each other's chosen family. It's Martha's turn to share a story now, and then it'll be Taylor's, then mine. I know which story I'll tell, one none of them know, the day we got Benji. Martha puts down her wine and curls her feet on Luke's lap as she begins. Being the good boyfriend, he is, he starts messaging her feet as she speaks.
"I remember that day last year I came up to photograph you guys for your holiday card. I'd only been up to the house with Luke that one time and so I was a bit lost on my own, but you were there on the road, Kar, waiting for me. The Twins met us in the foyer, all dressed up in Christmas sweaters in November, already jolly and joyful. They were so excited to see me. It took us twenty minutes to get up the stairs! You had this pale blue wall of photographs going up the stairs, progressing in age and I paused so the twins could explain all their favorites. I hadn't been upstairs the last time, so I was enamored by the wall. Cara, there were heaps of you and there were LOTS of just the twins. The top photo, though, the one closest to the landing. That one was my absolute favorite. It was of, you and, you, Taylor, on a beach with the twins on your backs, clearly laughing. Ellie told me that Kar took you all to Hawaii because it was paradise on Earth. But then Archie cut her off and said that paradise was their new life at Holiday House even if it was sad sometimes without Taylor. Then, they both dragged me up the rest of the stairs to show off their playroom, and their rooms, and the library, not realizing how much that admission meant. By the way, I wish I'd known about all those rooms up there the first time, so Luke and I did a better job at distracting them! Anyway. The moral of the story is that Kar, you gave them this castle and you could tell they were just so safe and happy; they love it there. You did that, you made them safe again, but you also never hid the past away, you put it proudly on the wall to remind you all of the good times with good people who you loved and loved you back."
I know I'm crying slightly. Taylor's blonde hair shifts as she looks up at me, clearly moved by the story, too. I smile a little. I wasn't ashamed of the photos on the walls of the four of us, I just wasn't sure Taylor was comfortable with it... She hadn't officially been a part of our lives in a long time and it wasn't like I'd called and asked. I cut and run but kept pieces of her with me, was that crazy of me to do?
"Is that true, Karls?" She asks, her eyes glossy. I kiss her lips lightly.
"Yeah..." I stroke her arms and she smiles delicately as her green eyes tear up, an inch from mine. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to up-"
She covers my mouth with her hand, "They're not bad tears Karlie. They're ridiculously happy ones. You kept me as a part of their life, and yours. I wish I'd known."
Everyone looks over at us, watching the moment in silent approval. I kiss her again, knowing now she's back, I never want to let her go again. Not that I ever really did. There was Candace and a few other flings, but it was all sex. Only Taylor has my heart, then and now. Boisterously, Cara clears her throat, forcing our attention to her.
"Well, Taylor, remember the day you saw her in the snow?" The Brit's voice is slightly louder and more British than usual. She's had a couple of drinks, which after years of only having one, or two drinks maximum, meant she's plastered after only 3 or 4 glasses of champagne. Taylor nods, still looking at me. I'm confused. What day in the snow?
"Yes, Cara, and I know what you're about to say. I'm a total idiot." Cara snickers at Taylor's reply but I'm curious still. Taylor could never be an idiot in my eyes.
"When did you see me in the snow?" I question, my eyebrows raised. Taylor opens her mouth to speak but Cara replies for her.
"The day you were picking up those exact damn holiday cards, from Martha in the city. She thought Martha was your girlfriend."
Martha bursts into hysterical laughter and I join in with Cara. Martha was beautiful, but so not my type. Luke looks at me, dead serious. "Are you sleeping with my girl? Did my invitation get lost in the mail? Come on now, Karlie."
I throw an ice cube at his stomach and he laughs. "Ew, Lucas, as if I'd ever invite you. I'm a proud gold star lesbian. Besides, Marth, I love you but you're not my type." I smirk and Taylor's cheeks are flushed with embarrassment or arousal I'm not sure.
"None taken! The girls I fooled around with in college were all brunette anyway!" Martha is still laughing wildly beside her boyfriend, completely in love with him even if he sometimes was a disgusting jerk. "And no. No threesomes, don't even ask me, Luke."
"That's not even the best part!" Cara cries between laughs, "She then met a girl at Luke's as revenge and started dating her! For like a goddamn year and a bit! What was her -- oh, right, Emily! Shit, maybe even now. Did you fucking dump her yet?! I never liked her, too... clean. You guys were never right for each other...."
I stop laughing. Everyone but Cara goes quiet. I don't think she's registered what she said, or what the impact of it is. Ash shoots daggers at her girlfriend and I look at Taylor confused, hurt and a little resentful. Even though I have no right to be. Crap. Suddenly, the past 18months play through my mind and I see all the signs... it's very possible the woman from her birthday and mine were the same voice, I just assumed they were different people, flings like I had. I never thought she'd... She was in a relationship, she moved on and dated someone, someone who wasn't me. It makes me feel sick, suddenly. I immediately release Taylor from my grasp and stand up, clumsily. I need to get some air, away from everyone. I excuse myself and go. I feel my heartbeat intensifying with each step. Taylor stands too as Cara mumbles an 'Oh shit' finally catching up with her words. I don't wait for her apology though. I keep going, yanking open the front door, jogging down the stairs and out on the pavement, taking long deep breaths as my thoughts swarm about. I let her go, of course she was going to move on, of course she'd find someone else to love her. She was amazing, she was beyond a catch and only an idiot would ever let her go, a fool. Me, I was the fool for not expecting this. An idiotic fool. A goddamn mess.
"Karlie, wait, please! I can explain!" Her voice is frantic. I don't know what to say to her...
I turn around to her, knowing full well I'm crying. I'm an emotional mess but I am also deeply hurt. I don't try and hide it.
"It's fine Taylor, you're allowed to live your life and move on, I can't expect you to ever forgive me, hell or even want me-"
Her mouth covers mine and she presses a firm kiss into my lips. Her teeth pull my bottom lip so her tongue can gain entry as she slides her hands up my sides. I let myself get lost in the kiss, pulling her closer and running my tongue along the sides of her mouth, twisting with hers. We break apart breathless, our lips saying what our hearts are thinking.
"I'm single, Karlie... Unless you don't want me to be..." She says softly, our foreheads resting against each other and our arms keeping our bodies together. My stomach does somersaults. She was single, unless I wanted her. Of course, I wanted her.
"I want you, Taylor. I want you but I don't want to hurt you again, I don't want to let you down." I sigh but Taylor's hands cup my face and she stares up at me with nothing but love in her crystal blue eyes.
"If you want me, Karlie, I'm all yours, because I know I want you, even after everything, you're still the best thing that's ever been mine. I love you, I always will. Even when I'm so pissed off at you that I can barely stand to look at you, I love you. And I want you. Call me crazy, but I love you forever and always." She says it with such conviction that I feel like I've been struck by lightning. I smile, lighting her up and spinning her around, her laughter ringing in my ears.
"I love you too, and I'm yours, forevermore." I say as we stop spinning and I put her down. I kiss her this time, letting our tongues tease each other and our hands steady us. We break apart and I watch her features in the soft streetlight flow. She's absolutely breath-taking. We stand there for a while before Cara appears in her doorway, checking we've made up and she didn't fuck things up for us.
"I'm so sorry, Tay!" She calls from the top of the stairs. I intertwine my fingers with Taylor as we walk back up to her. Taylor wraps Cara in a hug, sharing some words before they break apart.
"We should take the twins back to the hotel. It's late." I say, looking at the time, it's past midnight. Cara gives me a disapproving frown.
"Don't be stupid, they're having a sleepover with their Aunty Cara." I look at her unsure. They'd only had a handful of nights away from me ever. Cara rolls her eyes, fed up at my unwillingness. "Go, we've got them for the night. Get yours, Klossanova, god knows you need to get laid again since..." Cara stops talking as Taylor blushes. I thank her for being as crude as ever. She shrugs and Ash appears next to her with mine and Taylor's bags.
"Don't worry, Kar, I won't let her corrupt them and fill them with sugar. Plus, Luke and Martha are staying too, so it's three against one on the craziness." Ashley shoves her girlfriend knowingly, and I smile, pulling Taylor into my side as we take our bags from her. Taylor looks at me for confirmation and I smile, nodding. She digs through her bag for her phone and I know she's calling Sean. I smirk at my best friend in the doorway who winks. This was her plan all along.
"Your cock-blocking days seem to be behind you, now, Car." I joke as Taylor hangs up. Taylor swats my shoulder, playfully. Ashley laughs knowing all about Cara's cock-blocking capabilities after our only night out in St Tropez.
"Don't jinx it Kloss." Cara calls as she waves and closes the door. Taylor and I turn, she grabs my hand and I can't help but smile. We walk down the steps and the town car pulls up outside the house. Sean gets out, a big grin on his scruffy face.
"Ms. Kloss! What a wonderful surprise! Welcome back!" He says, holding the door open. I smile at him and then Taylor.
"It's good to be back, Sean." I smirk at Taylor who squeezes my hand. It didn't matter what my address was or where I owned a house, Taylor was my home.
* *
Taylor's P.O.V.
As soon as we're back at my apartment, I waste no time. I've missed Kar so much. My body has physically ached without her touch. I kick off my heels, suddenly a lot shorter than her. The cats are surprised to see her, and I have to physically hold Karlie back from touching them. I practically forced her to come back here rather than go to the Plaza. I want to wake up next to her in my bed tomorrow, a hotel would make this all seem like a fantasy. I want tangible evidence she was here, is here. Karlie tries to reach down and pet Liv but I pull her into me.
"Another pussy needs your attention first, baby," I coo in her ear and I watch as a sultry grin appears. She presses her lips and her body against mine. I practically run her into my bedroom shutting the door as she steps out of her dress, revealing a matching beige set of bra and panties. My eyes drink her in. She's as gorgeous as I remember, if not more so.
"Your turn." She smirks, watching me stare hungrily at her. I reach behind my back, undoing my blouse, my eyes never leaving hers. Karlie's green eyes are ablaze, a forest fire. I love having this effect on her. Especially when she knows damn well she has the same effect on me. I'm already soaking wet and she's barely touched me. She licks her lips as she looks me up and down. Her eyes darken as she and I close the space between us, pressing my lips firmly against hers. I nibble on her bottom lip until it gives way and her tongue slides into my mouth. Karlie's arms come around me, lifting me an inch into the air. My legs react instantly, folding themselves around her hips. Karlie steadies us as she adjusts her grip on the back of my knees. I move my mouth to her neck, nipping at the soft skin and feeling her tense beneath me. Karlie takes slow, deliberate steps toward my bed. I bite her ear as we go crashing onto the bedsheets and I swallow Karlie's laugh in my throat. I get lost in her, lost in how long it's been. Slowly, her fingers trace down my side until she grazes them gently on top of my hip bone. I gasp as she hits a sensitive spot. Her eyes are sparking up the darkness of my bedroom. She smiles senusually before slipping her fingers down, down, down. I buck my hips as she rubs my clit. God, she got me coming undone under her touch in seconds. My body only reacts this way to her, no one else – not Emily, or any of the other women in my time. Only Karlie.
"You're so wet for me, baby... God, I've missed you." Her voice is so thick with sexiness I could cum right now. I'm on the edge already. I hum in response, moving my hips so I get as much friction with her long fingers as possible. "I've been waiting for so long to do this again, and don't worry I'm not going to tease you, baby."
Her fingers slide inside of me as she bows her head, praying to the altar of my hips as her tongue works magic and her fingers pump in and out of me. I don't even try to stop myself from screaming her name.
"OH MY GOD!! OH KARLIE!"
* *
I haven't seen her naked since before the incident and I'd be lying if I said I'm not shocked. There are two wide, white circular scars in her right shoulder and another one above her left hip bone. Reminders of what she went through and survived. I have always been in awe of her strength but now more so than ever. This woman let herself get shot, twice, just so her kids didn't. I know there was a lot we have to discuss, a lot we have to talk about but laying in her arms right now, I'm a hundred thousand percent sure I want to be with her forever. Scars or no scars, she was the woman who owns my heart, and always will. I stroke her bare chest with my fingers, not daring move from my safe cocoon between Karlie's arms. Her breathing is slower now, on the edge of sleep. I bend my head up to see her, her eyelids shut and a look of complete peace on her features. I kiss the bottom of her neck. It feels like one of my dreams, one of the ones I've had regularly over the past few months. She looks calm and serene, and my heart melts for her. I know I shouldn't, but I forgive her. She hurt me, so so badly, but with her lying next to me, I was healed. By magic or pure love, I'm not sure, but all the Karlie shaped holes in my heart closed up the second our lips touched. I'm not even mad at her anymore, I'm just sad she didn't think I could weather the storm with her, that I'd ever hurt her. Karlie Kloss was a complicated mess but she was a mess I wanted. A mess I can't live without, and I hope I never have to.
"Please don't be gone in the morning. Please don't let this all be a dream." I whisper before I let sleep claim me too.
*
Karlie's P.O.V.
The sun is just beginning to rise outside Taylor's apartment windows. My girl's head moves, her hair tickling the skin on my chest. She wakes, slowly. I can't help but break out in a massive smile as she stretches in my grasp. Her blue eyes open, one by one and meet mine. Her face is shocked for a split second and then her grin echoes mine.
"Mornin' gorgeous," I kiss the top of her hair. She moves and tilts her head up, her lips catching mine. It's just like old times, good morning kisses whilst lying in bed intertwined and naked.
"Hi. You're real, you're still here." She says, sleepily. She settles against my chest again and I gently trace lines up and down her back with my fingernails.
"Indeed I am. Though I think I'd make a beautiful ghost." I chuckle at the thought but Taylor keeps looking over my scars, like they're foreign and I guess to her, they are. I don't mind them anymore, but she looks hurt by them, cautious of causing me pain. We lie in silence as the light gets stronger outside, oranges and pinks exploding in the sky. I'm almost back to sleep when Taylor talks again.
"So, Abi's getting married next weekend... would you maybe wanna be my date?" her voice is soft as she presses warm kisses into my chest. I look down and give her my best 'are you serious' look, Abi had tried hard to kick my ass after everything but like everyone else she couldn't find me, but my work email account got quite the yelling to, daily by the end of last year. I'm processing, I don't know what to say. God knows what she'll do when she sees me in person. Is it too soon? I only feel as at peace as I do right now when I'm around Taylor, but I'm not the same person I was back all those years ago when we had dinner with Abi and Matt, I'm not the girl who Taylor's best friend approves of anymore. And a wedding... I'm not sure I'm ready to attend such a massive party.
"You're certainly the party animal, aren't you? Is it what's his face she's marrying?" I chuckle anxiously to myself.
"Matt?" She says and nods against my chest, her hair on my skin is a feeling I've missed.
"Mr. Photographer No-Gaydar Dinner Dude?" I laugh sarcastically. He seemed like a nice guy back in the day.
She shrugs playfully, naked on top of me. I kiss her hair. "Will you come with me? It's up on Martha's Vineyard and I'm her maid of honor so I get all the perks of that..."
I think about it. I would go in a heartbeat but the twins... a long weekend away would be longer than we'd spent apart, ever. "I... the twins."
Taylor looks up at me, unfazed, "Two choices, one they can come with us, or two, Cara and Luke can handle them here until we get back."
I mull it over in my mind, she was right. I nod in agreement. "Cara does owe me a lot of Saturday's."
Taylor looks excited, wiggling up my torso so our lips are just an inch apart. She lingers there for a second.
"I love you, Karlie." She says it with such warmth, I feel myself melt under her stare.
"I love you, more, babe. Forever." I whisper, letting her hair fall into my face as she kisses me deeply. We break apart for a second and I have an epiphany. "Come home with us tomorrow."
"Home?" She truly has no clue where it may be. It's a loaded statement, we both know it and I watch as her eyes start swirling with more unasked questions. Home, for the moment, is Holiday House, but truthfully, home to me would always be beside Taylor and with the twins.
"Yes, the twins and I are headed home tomorrow and I want you to come, at least until we go up to Martha's Vineyard. And I know your schedule is free for at least the next ten days so... " I wink at her.
"Why do I have a feeling you and Tree have been scheming behind my back this whole time?" Her eyes are glowing with humor and bliss as I shrug, "Okay, Kar. I'll come home with you."
* * *
Hello Lovers! The next chapters have taken me a full MONTH to get perfect so I hope you enjoy! I LOVE hearing your feedback, reactions, thoughts, feelings etc so keep on commenting, messaging and voting on SSD - seriously it makes my day! Stay safe xoxo