I blink at Holden then look behind me in case he was talking to someone else. But no. He was definitely talking to me when he said we need to talk.
Right. Because those conversations always go so well.
About to breakup? We need to talk. Failed your last midterm? We need to talk. Finished a whole bag of chips about ten minutes into purchasing them? We need to talk.
That last one was mine in case it wasn't obvious. It was definitely one of my low points. Anyways.
"Okay?" It comes out as a question because I really don't know what to say. Honestly I don't want to talk to him at all. Remember what I said about falling into routine just talking to strangers? Well the opposite is true as well. I fell into routine not talking to Holden so the idea of us doing that feels wrong, wrong, wrong. What the hell do we have to talk about anyway?
I think he can tell I really don't want to do this because his mouth tugs down in a frown, eyes grazing over me again. That's about the third time he did that. Oh. Wait. He just made it four.
"Sierra!" The ninja dude that ran off with one of my cakes is suddenly beside me. I tip my head back up to look at him because wow, he's gigantic. In return he grins down at me with a smile I'm sure makes women go cross-eyed. "You and I. Dance floor. Now."
"Okay?" I find myself repeating. Why is today so weird? I don't understand what's happening and I kind of want to cry.
"That's what I'm talking about." He grabs my hand and starts leading me away. I try to ask him to wait but he's already singing along to whatever song is blasting through the speakers and based on his unique voice, he's got hearing problems.
"I, uh, shit." I look over my shoulder at Holden who's already watching me, expression flat. "Sorry. I'll find you later."
I don't get the chance to see if he responds. The next thing I know I'm in a swarm of people who are dancing and laughing. I blink up at my date when he takes hold of my hand and spins me in a circle, moving his body in a way that's no better than his singing. I stifle a laugh.
"It's a good thing you're making it big as an athlete."
"You break my heart, babe." He feigns offence, hand over his chest.
"You kind of stole me in the middle of something important, you know."
"Well, excuse me. That's how a man wins a beautiful girl's attention."
"Uh-huh. I saw you run off with my cake."
He makes me twirl again and when I face him, his eyes are alight with amusement. "And I've been in love ever since."
I roll my eyes but am unable to stop the smile tugging my lips up. "Are all professional athletes such flirts?"
"It comes with the job. Honestly, I could scrape gum off the bottom of tables for a living and still be inclined to flirt with you. Has nothing to do with my profession."
"Thank you." I duck my head, feeling silly that I can't stop my pleased grin. I wish I could be one of those cool and collected girls that never give away what they're thinking and keep men on their toes. Me? One look at my face and you could tell what I had for breakfast.
"I can't believe I've never heard of your business before." He shakes his head as if reprimanding himself. "How'd Rey get a hold of you?"
It's a question I've been getting asked all night. I know nobody means it that way but I can't help but think of it as how does the successful Holden Rey know anything about your so not successful little bitty business? It reminds me of decades ago when nobody could comprehend how popular and gorgeous Holden was ever friends with awkward and chubby Sierra. Nothing has changed since. It's so not fair to constantly bring it up but I can't help how my mind keeps going to that place.
Maybe that's why I've been avoiding Holden and can't bring myself to just talk to him. Maybe that's why I let this gorgeous athlete pull me away when I could have just told him no. I'm looking for every excuse in the book to not have to face my ex best friend and his eerie words.
We need to talk.
Yeah. Because that wouldn't want to make me run away or anything. What was he thinking? He should have said Channing Tatum is behind the building. I would have leapt on him like a monkey and went without a second thought. So really, this is his fault. Also, CHANNING.
"So..." My date prods.
"Right." I store away the images of Channing humping a stage shirtless. Those are definitely going to be for tonight's spank bank. "We're neighbours. It was just the luck of opportunity."
"Okay." He nods but there's humour in his voice, like he doesn't quite believe me.
"What?"
He shrugs. "Nothing."
He's not getting off that easy. "You stole half my cake. You better fess up while you know what's good for you, punk."
He bursts out laughing, pulling me closer when a slow song comes on. "Fair enough. Let's just say men know men, and I don't know Rey nearly as well as his clients do but one look on his face tonight has told me enough about you."
"It has?" I make a face. Oh, God. If his opinion of me has anything to do with Holden it's got to be bad. What does Holden's face say about me? Pain in the ass? Loser chick who can't seem to stop disrupting his life? I wouldn't be surprised. "What is it?"
He smiles kindly. "That you're the kind of woman a man regrets letting go of."
It definitely takes a solid minute to process his words. All I do is gape while he casually sways, watching closely for my reaction with barely contained humour at my obvious shock.
And then I burst out laughing in his face.
I'm laughing so hard, I have to physically lean on him for support. Tears have gathered in my eyes and if I wasn't having the best laugh of my life, I'd be concerned about my makeup. But seriously? That's what he got from observing Holden? That I'm not someone you let go of? Puh-lease. Holden never let go of me—he never had me. For a moment we were friends and then we weren't and there's been no regret since. Just time and distance and now we can't stand each other. Besides, what would Holden care? He never saw me as anything but his clingy neighbour that he had to avoid to literally get me to leave him alone. That's our story.
"You smoke crack," I inform my dance partner. "I think I could use some. It's been an exceptionally long day."
"Naive little Sierra." He boops my nose and I scrunch it. "You got to give yourself more credit than that."
Ha. I almost say something like you don't give yourself the things you don't deserve but refrain myself because wow, that's a little emo. Instead I smile tightly and look away.
"Travis." Some guy walks up to us and claps my date on the shoulder. "Your agent's looking for you. Something about next week's game."
"Duty calls." He bends his head to kiss my cheek. "Thank you for the dance. And the cake. Seriously. I'm going to masturbate to that cake tonight."
I snort and then cover my mouth. Real attractive. "I'm oddly flattered."
"You should be." He winks then glances at his friend. "Keep her company?"
Well okay, then.
And somehow the rest of the night goes that way. I dance with someone, get interrupted, and no more than a handful of seconds later another man swoops in and asks to dance. They're all super nice and flirtatious and I'm enormously flattered, even though it's probably because I'm one of the few single women here and these athletes are drawn to that fact like a beacon. I can't exactly say that's a loss.
"This is the best night ever," Mara whisper-hisses in my ear, leaning around her dance partner to do so. I have no idea who mine is so I turn my attention to her. "I feel like I'm in a porno. All these men and me. I'm kind of expecting a pizza delivery boy and a pool cleaner to show up any minute now."
Her date definitely hears that, choking on his spit and trying to pull himself together. Mara just grins.
"Tell me about it," I mutter under my breath. "And they're all so sweet. I mean, they're definitely just trying to get into our pants but the attention is still nice."
"They'd probably do anything we asked just so they could hook-up," She agrees. She looks at her date, raising her voice again. "How do you feel about doing push-ups while I sit in your back and watch? You'd be shirtless in this scenario."
The large man just blinks. "Um, I mean, sure? If that's something you'd be into."
Mara whimpers at me and looks close to tears. "Best night."
"What happened to that cute security guard?"
"A girl can't have two? Don't be such a prude."
"Fair point," I laugh in agreement. Then Mara is dragging her date away and I have a pretty good idea why, if the way she's eyeing him like he's her personal jungle gym is any indication.
"What's up, Rey?"
My head snaps back to the guy I'm dancing with, and then beside him where Holden is standing. His expression is as flat and uninterested as it was when I left him hanging about an hour ago. He's not looking at me at all.
"You should find someone else to dance with," is all he says. He sounds bored but there's a firmness in his voice that leaves no room for argument. Both my date and I pick it up.
"Sure thing, man," He agrees easily and I feel my stomach sink. Oh, crap. Crappity, crapping, crap. "Thanks for the dance, Sierra."
"Yeahmergl." That's the noise that comes out of me. I was trying to say yeah, no problem but my panic kind of froze my tongue in place. He gives me a weird look as he walks away. I don't even want to look at Holden's face right now.
But I'm forced to when I unexpectedly feel his large hand on me, sucking in a startled breath at the way he grabs me by the waist and gently tugs me against him, his other hand encasing mine and lifting it up as he starts to sway to a song I briefly recognize as Falling by Harry Styles. I don't know what's scarier—that he's touching me like this or that my heart is suddenly beating erratically because of it. Why am I so aware of him? There's so much heat in the places he has his hands on me. I can almost feel my skin crackling and tingling.
That's just his super devil powers sucking the common sense out of you. Pull it together!
"What are you doing?" I blurt. I don't care that I'm outright asking him. I'm tired of not knowing what to expect from him.
"Dancing," He deadpans. He's looking over my head instead of at me. "Why are you confused? You've been doing it all night."
Is it just me or did he sound accusing for a second? What's his deal?
"This is a gala," I respond just as flatly. "That's what people do. Did you expect me to ride around in a unicycle?"
"You'd fall on your face five seconds in," He throws back easily. I can tell by the ghost of amusement on his face that he only meant it as a joke but I feel prickly, and self-conscious, and confused because nothing makes sense right now, so I start to pull away. He sobers up instantly, his grip tightening on me as he finally meets my eyes. "Wait."
"What?" I mutter. I want to look away but I can't. His stare is so intense and compelling. He's doing that stupid thing where I feel like he can see right through me. I swallow hard. "What, Holden?"
His chest expands slightly when he takes a breath, and I feel his chest brush mine because that's how close we are. It feels like he's everywhere all at once and I don't like it. I also hate that I kind of do like it.
"I've been an ass," He starts gruffly and I blink in surprise. What the what? Did I just hear that right? "I've been an ass for a while now, just in general. Don't think I realized it until you started giving me shit on the daily."
I think about his words for a moment. "I don't get it. Are you complimenting me or insulting me?"
"No. I—shit." He huffs in frustration, eyes grazing over me. Over my face, moving lower to skim the rest of me, and coming back up before pausing on my mouth. The shade of red I'm wearing suddenly feels obnoxious and I subconsciously press my lips together. Holden's stare connects with mine again. "I'm trying to apologize."
"You are?" My brows go up. This conversation just keeps getting weirder. "Have you ever apologized to anyone before? It usually entails the words I'm sorry."
"I was getting there," He enunciates, taking in another breath. "I'm sorry, okay?"
"Hmm." My cheek twitches with the need to smile. "This must have been how you felt when I apologized to you. The receiving end is much more fun."
"Isn't it?" He deadpans and this time I can't stop my laugh. Then I feel horrified that Satan made me laugh so I press my lips together again. I don't think I like this conversation anymore. Satan sounds almost...human. He tucks his chin in as he looks down at me. "That hard to be in my presence?"
At that, my eyes narrow. "Right. Because you didn't throw an entire temper tantrum when I worked at your company for all of two weeks. Boo-hoo, buddy."
"When'd you become such a ball-buster?" He murmurs, placing his chin on the top of my head. Is it just me or did we get even closer? I feel myself start to stiffen, both at his words and our proximity. When did I become such a ball-buster? When I lost my best friend. When the world made fun of me for the way I looked and no one had my back. How's that for an answer?
I pull away like I was burned, backing up and wrapping my arms around myself protectively. Insecurities...they have this way of eating you alive until you can't think straight. That's probably why I blurt out, "Thanks for the apology. I'm good now."
I don't think Holden likes that answer. His brows pull together, lips turned down. Maybe he expected another reaction from me but I don't think that's fair. I don't think he knows me enough to expect anything from me and I think he's on par with that. You don't know me, Sierra. Weren't those his words, too?
"Alright," He finally says, shoving his hands in his pockets. His earlier glower is back and he look away from me. "Good job with the dessert order. You came through."
"Thanks for the opportunity," I make myself say because it's only fair. I've given out all of my business cards tonight from satisfied customers and a lot of it is his doing. "Um, have a good rest of the night."
There. Civil, right? He nods without giving me an answer or another glance and then he's walking away. This is good. We did business, ended on decent terms, and now there's no reason to make nice. He specifically said this was just business and now that's behind us. Isn't it?
I think I need a drink.
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A/N
Gah, dead. Loving their progression as they slowly start to warm up to each other. And I think Sierra's hesitation makes a lot of sense, given the cards on the table Holden initially laid out.
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