After sitting in silence for way too long than I had initially expected, I finally decided to test the waters again.
"It has gotten so dark already." I looked around as if just noticing it and pretending that I hadn't been sitting there for so long already.
Nicolas raised my hands in his hold before kissing the palm of both of my hands. "You must be hungry. I'll get bowls for us."
He stood up after placing my hands back in my lap and picked up Marco's phone. "Have you called your grandma yet?"
I was on my feet in an instant. "I forgot." I looked for my phone in my pockets before pulling it out. "I'll be right back." I told Nicolas as I dialled her number and placed the phone on my ear.
"There's no network coverage over here. Try near the training grounds." Nicolas informed me from the behind and I cursed under my breath. "I'll go with you."
"No, no, I'll be quick." I hurriedly thanked him before making a run for the clearing. I kept looking for signals on the way to no avail. The phone didn't connect until I was at the edge of the clearing.
"I'm so sorry I forgot to call you." I responded to her 'hello'.
"Can I stay over here tonight? I'll be back in the morning." I said, panting, trying to catch my breath.
"Sure. But everything is okay, right?" She asked dubiously.
"Yeah. Everything is fine. I just felt like it." I relieved her at once. "I can come back right away if you want though. I will stay over some other time."
"It's okay with me." I could hear her smiling through her voice. "Have fun."
"Thanks. I love you, grandma." I answered her gratefully.
"Love you too."
The moment I disconnected the call after bidding her farewell, Tay's name flashed on the screen.
"I've been calling you all day. Where have you been?" Tay complained right away.
His desperate tone worried me. "Why? What's wrong?"
"I got the call from Mr. Santos." He exclaimed excitedly.
I had to distance my phone from my ear to lessen his voice. "And?"
"Both of us got selected." He shrieked again much to my dismay but I couldn't help but grin.
I let out a sigh of relief. "This is unbelievable."
"Right? I've been dying to tell you about this but your phone wasn't reachable." He grumbled again.
"Sorry."
"Whatever. There's something more I had to tell you." He trailed off as if hesitating.
"What is it?"
"We'll have to move." Tay informed me in a low voice.
The lack of enthusiasm in his voice was more than enough to make my heart sink. "Where to?"
"Jaursen."
It took me a moment to remember where Jaursen was. "That's even farther South."
"Yeah…"
"Tay, no. I-I can't. It's so far away." I tried to reason with him.
Tay let out a loud sigh. "I know, I know. But that's their only branch for now, nothing could be done."
"I'll look for another job." I said it more to myself than him. It was another try to convince myself that I still had options left.
Another sigh before he spoke. "It's not like you can get a good paying job in your town. You'll have to move away either way. So, what's wrong with Jaursen?"
"I won't be able to visit home even on weekends. And weekends are all we'll be getting as newly joined."
"Look, I don't want to move away either. So I thought we could do this job until we get a new one or at least until we get our degrees. It's not like we can apply anywhere else until then." He was starting to sound like he was running out of patience and for the first time, I felt the same.
"I'll think about it." I stated, firmly.
"What's there-"
"l need some time to think. I'll let you know by tomorrow. Please." I said, cutting him off and disconnecting the call without another word.
I slumped to the ground, leaning against the tree nearby. I could barely make out the trees around without my phone's flash. Though that spot gave me a much better view of the now fully visible moon, I couldn’t seem to care about it.
My mind wandered off to what Marco had said earlier and then all I could think about was the fact that Nicolas stayed up - way later than everybody else, just sitting here to talk to me every night, without a fail. Despite the fact that he should've been sleeping like everybody else instead.
The realization made my heart squeeze inside my chest to the point where I could almost feel a physical pain. I sat there, clutching my chest for a long time. Thoughts ran rampant in my head and thinking of continuing like this in the future muddled my mind.
Despite knowing that I was making him suffer, I felt a strange sense of contentment. I had someone who was willing to sacrifice his own welfare for me, all for me. I was conscious of my selfishness but I couldn't even imagine letting him go. Just the thought brought tears to my eyes and I let out a choked sob.
We were meant to be. Isn't that why we met in the first place? Wouldn't all of this have been easier if I wasn't a human? Was the gap between our world too much for us? Then what even was the point of all this?
Turning off the flash, I allowed myself to wallow in my misery. Without Nicolas by my side, everything around me felt too quiet and dark. The pain in my chest intensified to the point where I could no longer focus on my senses.
I had no idea how much time had passed before I felt heat engulfing me. I knew it was none other than Nicolas when my body relaxed immediately. He rested his chin on my shoulder and squeezed me in his embrace.
"Is everything alright?" His ever so calming voice forced a loud sob out of me.
He pulled himself back just enough to try to look at my face. Gripping my arm, I felt him trying to pull my head up. "Blue? What's wrong?"
I refused to budge. I kept my head hidden between my arms and bit my lip to keep myself silent.
"Blue?" He gave up trying to lift my face after his second try. "Are you hurt? Did you fall somewhere?"
I shook my head and felt him sliding closer to me.
"Please don't cry."
Another sob wrecked me. "I can't make you happy."
Nuzzling the side of my head, I heard him inhale deeply. "I am happy. Are you?"
I snivelled again. "I can't even stay by your side.".
"Are you happy? Yes or no?"
I nodded.
"That's all that matters." He answered a moment later.
Shaking my head, I tried to reason again. "You're going to be in so much pain the next few days. I can't even help you with it. All I'm doing is causing you pain."
He removed one of his hands from around me and tried to lift my head again. "Blue, look at me."
I finally gave in and allowed him to lift my head.
Lifting his hands, he continued to wipe each of my tears as they escaped my eyes with his sleeves.
"The moment I see you nothing else matters. When I'm with you all I can think of is you, all I want to do is see you smile. One look at your face and I feel nothing but immense joy. Sometimes-"
Not being able to listen to his sweet words anymore, I whispered, avoiding his gaze. "I'll be moving to Jaursen."
"I'll wait for you." Nicolas said immediately.
"You shouldn't have to. It's not fair." I tried to pull my head back from his grip but he didn't let go.
"No matter how long it takes as long as you're willing to come back to me, I'll wait." He whispered, pressing his lips to my forehead.
Once again his words brought forth another sob. I held the sides of his shirt in tight grip as if it was going to keep him by my side forever. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I wish I was one of you. I wish I wasn't-"
Instead of replying he just pulled me closer and I clung to him with everything in me. I continued to apologise over and over again while he just quietly held me in his arms until my sobs subsided.
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