The night of the choir program arrived on a Friday and I was busy all week with the ball tournament. Although my team was eliminated in the second round, the boys played well and made it to the quarterfinals losing the night before.
Misti and I were dressed and ready to go before Mom even got home from work. She was planning on taking us and staying for the show. That is our mother, no matter how tired she is, if she can be there for us, she will. Misti wore her best designer jeans with hiking boots. Her sweater was pale pink and looked great against her jet black hair. A lot of people thought we looked alike. On this night, we dressed as differently as we could within the limitations given to us.
I wore a black pair of jeans with my hi-tops. I also wore a sweater, but mine was forest green. I thought I looked nice, but Misti immediately commented.
"You're going to blend into the scenery and those shoes?" she complained.
"Misti, I stand in the back row. No one will see my shoes and you know I hate those frilly colors," I said.
"I just can't believe we are sisters. I guess I inherited all the style," she sassed.
We walked backstage well ahead of schedule and found Mrs. Tyndall in a state of dizzying preparation. She began to assemble us on the bleachers behind the closed curtain on stage about ten minutes before show time. I was standing next to Jerri when I saw Josh enter from backstage. He was wearing a comfortably snug pair of Levi's and his shoes were dark and casual. However, it was his sweater that prevented me from looking away. It was the exact color of his hair. Lance was leading the way and when they stepped onto the first bleacher, Josh looked up and caught me staring. Instead of the dirty look I expected, he smiled. I felt my knees start to buckle and barely managed to return my own slight grin.
"Bryonna, what is that goofy smile about?" Jerri asked.
"I'm sorry. What did you say?"
"I really worry about you sometimes," she said with a smile.
"I worry about me too, Jerri," I joked.
"Are you nervous? It's your first show," she asked.
"A little. How about you? You're the one with the solo," I questioned. Jerri had a beautiful voice. I could not imagine having a solo, but it did not seem to faze her.
We fell silent when Mrs. Tyndall disappeared behind the curtain.
"Here we go," Jerri said to me as the curtain began to rise.
The lights hit my face and thankfully, they were so bright all I could make out were silhouettes. Singing was my private escape and this was the first time I really felt like I was sharing that part of myself with the world. I managed to survive the rest of the show without any mistakes and only stole peek at Josh a couple of times during breaks between songs. After the concert, Misti and I met up with Mom and started the walk to the car.
"You guys did really well. I'm proud of both of you," she bragged.
"Thanks." We both replied.
We almost reached the parking lot when Misti saw Lance.
"Bye, Lance," she called. "I'm sorry, he is just so cute."
"We know, Misti. You've said it a million times," I complained.
"Shut up, Bryonna. Nobody asked you," she spat.
I flew to my Dad's in California for Christmas and was looking forward to the time away. I had two little sisters there I didn't get to see that often and was excited. He remarried soon after the divorce to a great lady named Lisa. Misti was staying behind to spend the holidays with Mom. After exiting the plane, I saw my dad waiting at the gate.
"Hey, sweetie," he said as he embraced me.
"Hi Dad," I replied and squeezed him as tight as I could. "Where's everyone else?"
"Oh, they stayed home; it can be quite an ordeal to load everyone up for a car trip. It's easier this way. Plus, I get to see you alone for a while."
He threw his hand on my shoulder and started to guide me to the baggage pick up. After several stops, we finally got home to dinner ready on the table.
"Look how tall you are!" Lisa exclaimed. "No wonder you play basketball."
"Yeah, I wouldn't have made it if it weren't for my height," I said just as little feet ran in the kitchen.
"Bee-yaya!"
My 3-year-old sister Valerie was running towards me with the cutest smile. Following right behind was one-year-old Alison. I bent down to give them both hugs.
"Well, it looks like somebody's going to have a couple of shadows while she's here," said Lisa.
"That's fine with me," I pledged happily.
The next four days were a whirlwind of activity. The whole family went to an amusement park one day, the beach the next, and finally took the dirt bikes out for a weekend at the desert. My dad raced on the state circuit and bought me my first bike when I was only eight years old. I always loved going to the desert to ride with him. The morning of Christmas arrived and as usual my dad went overboard. We were just finished opening our presents and sitting around drinking hot chocolate when I spoke up.
"Thanks again for everything, guys. This has been a great visit," I announced.
"I'm glad, Sweetie. We just have one question for you," Dad said.
"What's that?" I inquired.
"We wanted to ask if you would consider living with us next year again. I know you said once you got to junior high, you wanted to stay in one school. You can still go back for your freshman year if you decide to, but who knows, you may decide you like the idea of graduating in southern Cali," he finished.
I looked back and forth between him and Lisa unsure what to say.
"Wow. That means a lot. You know I love being with you guys and the munchkins," I said looking at Valerie and Alison playing with their new toys by the tree. "Everything has just been going so well back home. I mean, with basketball and choir and everything."
"They have teams here, Bryonna," Lisa offered. "I know it's always hard to change schools, so we don't want to pressure you but the offer stands."
"Why don't you give it some thought? You don't have to make a decision while you're here. Go back home and finish out your year. We'll see how you feel in the summer," Dad suggested.
"Okay, I'll definitely think about it," I promised. There was no way I was leaving everything I had worked so hard for, but I didn't want to ruin Christmas or kill the vibe.
I arrived back home with only one day to prepare for going back to school. I brought back gifts for Misti and could not wait to show her the clothes Lisa picked out for me. We chose our outfits for school the next day and tried them on for Mom.
Misti was wearing a dark green suede miniskirt with an adorable cropped sweater. The sweater was a cream color with a scoop neckline and long sleeves. It had a small green plaid pattern that ran horizontally through the center. The plaid matched her skirt perfectly. Her tights matched the cream in her sweater and she looked great.
When I opened the box Christmas morning that held a denim miniskirt Dad and Lisa bought for me, I almost panicked. Yet, when I tried it on, I was surprised to see I actually like the way it looked. It was a bit longer than Misti's and fell just above my knees. The dark blue denim was the perfect match for a burgundy long sleeved form-fitting sweater that had been the next box I opened.
It was a thick cotton-polyester blend that looked completely natural tucked into my skirt. I finished it off with burgundy ankle socks and my new loafers from Mom.
"I don't really like the socks. Why don't you wear tights?" Misti questioned.
"They make me feel like I can't breathe."
"You look very pretty, dear," was mom's reassuring reply.
"Yeah, Bryonna, I must admit, I'm impressed," Misti finally offered.
"Thanks," I answered back.
The next morning was spent catching up with our friends and complimenting everyone on their new Christmas wardrobe. I was so happy to be back at school with my friends. Time flew by and I found myself reminded of the last time I tried to dress up when I was walking to choir.
"I really hope Lance doesn't start in today. I don't think I could take it," I warned Rachel and Michelle as we entered the room.
After the winter show, Mrs. Tyndall informed us she wanted us to be seated in the same formation we stood in the show. It was not until now I realized I would be sitting close to Josh and Lance. I stacked my books on my lap to cover up as much as possible. Luckily the guys walked in without even a glance in our direction.
"Okay, I know you're all getting back into the swing of things. But we have a lot of work to do," Mrs. Tyndall announced. "We have a state competition that I've entered us in and it's only two months away. After that, we'll have only two months before our spring show. I was really proud of the way you all worked so hard last time, so let's stay motivated for the rest of the year."
I was getting hungry and more than happy when the bell finally rang. I stood to grab my books and meet Rachel and Michelle at the door when a voice froze me in my tracks.
"It looks like somebody got a new outfit for Christmas," said Lance. "You almost look like a girl."
"You better be careful, Lance. Someone might think you like what you see," I teased without even thinking. Had I just said that?
"Ooh, does someone have a crush on Bryonna?" Jerri quipped from my side.
Lance's eyes narrowed when he heard a small spattering of laughter from behind him.
"You wish!" he snapped before turning and walking out of the room.
"Quick thinking, Bryonna. You might be growing up after all," she smiled as Misti walked over from across the room.
"What's so funny?" she asked.
"Your little sister just managed to shut Lance Drake up, that's all," Jerri beamed.
"What did you say to him?" Misti demanded from me.
"He just made his usual rude remark. Something about my new outfit," I explained.
"Yeah and then Bryonna says, 'be careful...someone might think you like what you see'," Jerri finished just as Rachel and Michelle had joined us.
"You didn't!" Rachel exclaimed.
"She did," Jerri stated.
"He probably thinks you're a total geek now," Misti replied.
"I don't care what he thinks," I snapped. "He picks on everybody and I'm tired of it."
We said goodbye to Misti and Jerri and walked out.
"Okay, Bryonna, you don't have to downplay it. Lance and his friends can be intimidating, but you stood up to them. I'm proud of you," Rachel said.
"I don't know if I would have the nerve to go against those jerks," Michelle added.
"I just didn't think before I spoke. If I had, I probably would never have said anything," I responded.
Surprisingly, what happened in choir quickly made its way around our small campus. I was feeling pretty good about myself when I went to my locker after the last bell until I saw Josh heading my way. I looked down and tried to ignore him, but saw his feet stop in front of mine.
"You must have gotten some guts over break, Bree," he said with a quick smile.
"Yeah, I guess," I replied with a shrug. "I think your girlfriends looking for you."
He glanced behind him at Avery and turned towards me one last time.
"By the way, you do look nice today," he said quietly before joining Avery.
I could not seem to move my feet. My hands were clutching my books so hard my knuckles turned white. I just kept hearing Josh's words over and over.
When I got home, I called Rachel immediately.
"Rachel, you are not going to believe what happened today after school!" I squealed.
"It sounds like it," she replied.
"Guess who told me I looked nice? Guess!" I sputtered.
"By the sound of your voice, it wasn't a girl. Only boys can make us squeal," she mused. "I know there is only one person that could have this effect on you."
"JOSH MCLAIN!!" We both chorused at the same time.
"Okay, tell me everything. Where did you see him?" she asked.
"I was at my locker after school and he stopped by. He said something about my wisecrack to Lance today," I explained.
"What do you mean? Was he mad?" she interjected.
"No, no, he was saying I had guts," I continued. "Anyway, I said thanks and then he said I looked nice today. I thought I was going to fall over!"
"See, he's obviously not still mad at you. What are you going to do now?" she asked.
"What do you mean? There's nothing to do. He still has a girlfriend and I still would never have a chance with him," I insisted.
"Well, he wouldn't have said anything if he didn't mean it. Maybe he does like you a little bit," she offered.
"Don't get my hopes up, Rach. All I know is I would love to be friends with him. Even if we only talked when no one else was around," I stated.
"I guess you'll just have to settle for these brief encounters. Are you sure that's what you want?" Rachel questioned in a concerned tone.
"I'm sure what I feel right now is better than anything I've ever experienced," I said.
"I just hope you don't get disappointed again," she replied.
"Bryonna, get off the phone!" Misti's yell signaled the end of my conversation and Rachel and I said good-bye.
I didn't talk to Josh again for almost three weeks. Basketball season was almost over and we were preparing for another tournament. Our team did well in the five games since winter break. When Coach told us the last week before the tournament, we would have two a day practices we were all excited. The first day of after school practice I was surprised to see the boys also. Coach Kennison and Coach Wheeler were standing together at mid court. When we assembled on the gym floor, Coach Kennison spoke first.
"Listen up, I know this is going to be tough, but we all need practice before the tourney. So, we've decided to make the most of our time. Each day we'll both have half-court practice for an hour and we'll switch off staying after that," he explained.
"We'll start with my guys today," Coach Wheeler continued. "After this first hour, the girls will be done and my guys will stay. Tomorrow, the boys will leave early. Any questions?" We all nodded.
"The same rules apply here that apply on the bus. We're not here to socialize," Coach Kennison warned.
"Don't make us have to remind anybody. You got it, Drake?" asked Coach Wheeler.
"Got it, Coach," Lance confirmed.
With that, we separated and began our drills. I tried my hardest not to look at Josh and thought I was doing pretty well.
"I see you, Bryonna," Shelby teased as we were waiting for our turn in the drill.
"What do you mean?" I asked innocently.
"I can't blame you, but he is wrapped around Avery's little finger."
"Am I that obvious?" I whined.
"Don't worry. Guys are dense when it comes to that. Just us girls can spot puppy love a mile away," she reassured me.
"I think him and Avery are going to be together forever," I agreed.
"Don't lose hope. Nothing is forever in junior high," she promised just as we began our next run.
Rachel and I were outside after practice waiting on her mom when I saw Avery walk over from what I guessed was cheerleading practice. A few seconds later Josh opened the door to give her a kiss. It was just a quick peck, but it was so familiar and sweet I wanted to cry.
Don't get me wrong, I had kissed boys before. In sixth grade, I received lots of quick kisses during silly games and there was the night at the creek, but the point was I never had a real boyfriend that would kiss me to say hello.
"Earth to Bryonna," Rachel's voice interrupted my thoughts.
"What?" I said.
"Why do you do this to yourself?" she asked.
"I can't help it," I stated dejectedly.
"I thought you were just going to try to be his friend," she reminded me.
"I know," I assured.
"I understand, really I do. I just hate to see you with that look on your face," she said. About that time her mom pulled up and we dropped the topic for the ride home.
On Friday it was the girls' turn to stay late. We were halfway through our combined half-court drills when the coaches announced we would each have a full court scrimmage.
"Before you all start panicking, we've made this easy," Coach Wheeler began. "We're going to play against each other."
The boys immediately started making wisecracks.
"You guys shouldn't have anything to worry about, right?" asked their coach.
"My girls might just surprise you." replied Coach Kennison.
I knew the first teams would be the starters, but it would not take long for me to be subbed in. I was the tallest person on our team and Coach was definitely going to want to take advantage of that on defense.
"Okay, starters huddle up."
We listened to Coach's instructions and Rebecca, Shelby, Michelle, and the others ran onto the court. The girls got the ball first and brought it inbound while the boys fell back into a zone defense.
After a few plays and some goofy remarks, the scrimmage got interesting. The guys weren't playing their toughest game but we were keeping them moving. When Coach Wheeler subbed in his first three players, our starters made a run of four unanswered points and brought us to within six points just as Coach Kennison called my name to go in.
I fell into a rhythm after a few minutes and got a rebound off Brian when Coach Wheeler blew his whistle to bring Josh and Brad back in the game. My stomach turned into a pile of bricks as I struggled to move down the court. Michelle brought the ball down and passed it to Shelby for a quick three pointer.
As I fell back on defense, one of the guys passed to Brad who immediately turned and started towards me. He was planning on coming straight through me and when I raised my arms and planted my feet, he looked a bit surprised just before I felt like a truck ran me over.
Falling hard, straight backwards, I barely managed to extend my hands behind me to try and break my fall. There was an amazingly loud sound when I hit the hardwood. An intense pain shot up my left arm and I lost my grip on the floor before rolling on to my side. Coach was beside me in seconds and I could feel a crowd gathering.
"My hand!" I moaned. I was trying not to cry, but swore my wrist was falling off it hurt so badly.
"Can you get up?" coach Kennison asked.
"Yeah, I think so," I answered and allowed Coach to lead me into the trainer's room.
"Alright, Bryonna. Let me take a look." He tried to pull my hand loose and an involuntary scream escaped my throat when he did and he quickly let go. "Let's call your mom. Is she home?"
"Yes, it's her day off."
He went to his office and I leaned back against the wall. Everybody must think I was the clumsiest person on earth. Brad played football and after that hit, I truly felt sorry for the boys playing against him on the field.
"Oh my God, are you okay?" Rachel exclaimed as she walked in the room.
"Yeah, my hand just hurts like you know what," I replied.
"That looked awful. I can't believe you're not crying," she said.
"I wanted to, believe me," I insisted. "So tell me, did I look as ridiculous as I feel?"
"No, nobody thought that. I don't think some of the guys could have taken that hit," she answered reassuringly. The door opening again interrupted our talk.
"Okay Bryonna, your mom is on the way. I told her she should take you to the hospital to have that x-rayed," Coach informed me.
"Great, the hospital on her day off," I complained.
"Don't worry about that. Now, I have to go back out to practice. Rachel, can you stay with her? Let me know when her mom gets here and do not let her move," he demanded as he headed out the door.
"I can't believe how much this hurts," I moaned again before the tears I had been trying to avoid finally started falling.
"I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?" Rachel offered.
"Only if you can turn back the clock," I mumbled and tried to smile.
"Sorry, my time travel machine is on the fritz," she quipped.
Before long, Mom arrived and after talking to the coach she led me out through the gym towards the car. Three hours later I was walking in the front door of our house with a cast on my left hand extending halfway to my elbow.
"What happened, Clumsy?" Misti asked as soon as she saw me.
"I got nailed by somebody driving the lane," I answered.
"You let one of those girls knock you down?" she teased.
"It wasn't a girl, Misti," I retorted.
"What do you mean it wasn't a girl?" she demanded inquisitively.
"The coaches were having us scrimmage against the boys' team," I said reluctantly.
"You mean to tell me you were playing with the boys' team?" she said a couple octaves higher than necessary.
"Yes Misti. It was not my idea, believe me," I answered trying to prevent an argument that I could never win.
"So, how did this happen?" she asked waving her hand towards my cast.
"I told you, I got knocked down. It was stupid," I stated again.
"You know what I mean, Bryonna. Who knocked you down?" she demanded.
"What does it matter, Misti?" Mom asked.
"It matters because I warned her not to embarrass me in front of my friends!" she said. "Who was it, Bryonna? Do not even tell me it was Lance."
"No, Misti, it wasn't Lance. Listen, my hand really hurts. Do we have to argue right now?" I pleaded.
"I'm not trying to argue, I just asked a simple question. Who knocked you down?" she asked insistently.
"It was Brad Taylor okay!" I blurted and saw her eyes widen slightly.
"Oh my...see Mom, I knew something like this would happen!" she exclaimed.
"Oh yeah, Misti, you knew I was going to break my wrist in a scrimmage against the boys' team. Right," I muttered.
"That is not what I meant. I just knew somehow I would suffer for you making that stupid basketball team!" she cried. "Everyone is going to think I'm as lame as you. Not to mention, I told you to stay away from the guys. You just always have to find a way to get attention from MY friends!"
"You're right, Misti. All I wanted was attention. And what better way to get it, than getting knocked on my butt in front of everybody and having to leave practice to go to the hospital? This is everything I have been working for all year! Plus, I get the bonus of listening to your CRAP!" I yelled and ran to my bedroom.
How dare she make this about her? I could care less about her stupid friends, not that they were even her friends. I spent the rest of the night in my room. I did not dwell on it too much because the doctor had given me some pills for the pain that pretty much kept me out of it for the next couple of days.
I woke up Monday morning and struggled to get ready. I couldn't do much yet with my hand, so I just threw on some sweats and a T-shirt. I was not about to ask Misti for help. We hadn't spoken since Friday. I knew I looked like trash, but didn't care. I just wanted to get through this day with as little attention as possible. The dread returned tenfold later that morning when the bell rang signaling the end of third period. I got to my locker and saw Rachel and Michelle waiting for me.
"Jeez, you look like you're doing the death march," Michelle said.
"If I thought I could get away with it, I swear I would skip choir," I moaned.
"It is not going to be that bad, Bryonna," Rachel assured me. "I am sure when they see you with that cast on your arm; even the evil trio will have to be on their best behavior."
"Yeah, they would look pretty pathetic picking on an injured person," Michelle added.
"Thanks guys, but I know Lance. He will not be able to resist," I replied.
"Well, we won't let him get away with it," Rachel promised.
"That's right. If he starts to give you a hard time, we'll pounce," Michelle said.
I spent the next few minutes trying to ready myself but realized it was all for nothing as soon as I entered the choir room. My eyes immediately scanned the room to see if the guys had taken their seats. Maybe I could hide my cast under my jacket and they would never know.
"Well it looks like you really did it this time," Lance practically yelled from across the room. "I wouldn't show my face if I broke my hand falling on my butt."
"Believe me, if I didn't have to be here, I wouldn't," I replied quietly.
Rachel and Michelle took their seats in the alto section and I was forced to cross directly in the line of fire to get to my own. I saw Jerri looking at me with a smile on her face and tried to focus on her and ignore the stares of the guys as I walked by.
"Hey Brad, see what you did to poor Bryonna?" Lance continued.
"All she had to do was get out of the way," he said. "She knew where I was going."
"We all knew where you were going. Maybe she liked the idea of you running into her," Lance teased. "Is that right, Bryonna? Did you want Brad to run into you?"
I prayed that the earth would swallow me up.
"Or maybe she was just doing her job," I heard a voice respond. Had Josh just defended me?
"What did you say?" Lance asked his laughter now stopped.
"You heard me, man. Don't forget, Brad, you were the one called for the charge," he stated.
"Shut up, Josh. That was a lame call and you know it," Brad argued.
"Whatever. I just know what I saw," Josh answered. Lance gave him a jab for ruining their fun and they quieted down.
I was still staring when Josh glanced at me. I mouthed a silent thank you and he gave me a lightening quick wink before turning back to Lance.
"It looks like someone is on your side," Jerri said
"I guess so. I can't believe he just stuck up for me like that," I replied in amazement.
"He knows you don't deserve their crap. I would have loved to see Brad's face when he got called for a charge on a girl," she finished with a smile.
"Yeah, I didn't even know that," I said. "At least, I made a good play. Let me tell you, I don't know if it was worth it though."
"What are you talking about? You were busting your butt and now you have your first war wound. I think it's pretty cool if you ask me," Jerri stated.
"Thanks, Jerri. You better not let Misti know you think that," I warned.
"I already heard her rant all morning. Don't ever tell her I told you this, but I think she's a little jealous," she said.
"Jealous? Why?" I asked amazed.
"You know how she is. She is always looking for ways to get those guys to notice her, and you did it without trying," she responded.
"Well, after what Lance and Brad just said, she should be thanking her lucky stars," I said emphatically.
"You know Misti loves attention," Jerri explained.
"Well, she can have it," I said just as Mrs. Tyndall started class.
When class was over, I was at the door when I felt a hand on my arm.
"You better watch your step, Bryonna," Misti said menacingly.
"What are you talking about?" I asked while pulling my arm free.
"You know exactly what I am talking about," she said. "It is so obvious!"
"You are insane, Misti," I stated before walking away with the girls.
"Jeez, what is wrong with your sister?" Michelle asked when we exited the building.
"I don't know; she acts like a freak anytime she thinks I am invading her space," I responded.
"Well, what does she expect you to do? It is not like you ask them to give you a hard time," Rachel reasoned.
"Speaking of, what possessed Josh to stick up for you like that?" Michelle interrupted.
"That was so sweet!" Rachel added.
"I don't know, I guess he felt sorry for me," I explained.
"Well, he could feel sorry for me anytime." Michelle sighed.
"It was nothing. Don't make a big deal out of it," I said downplaying the incident more for myself than for them. Truth be told, what Josh said in class put my whole world on a tilt and I truly wasn't sure it would ever be upright again...or if I wanted it to be.