wahh back in the swing of things. i might be going insane but at this point who isnt
uwu
― A. :)
bold is the twins talking in unison
italics is your own thoughts
italics and underline are other peoples's thoughts and special dialogue
(e/c) - eye color
(l/n) - last name
(f/c) - favorite color
(M/N) - mother's name
(F/N) - father's name
==========================================================
(3rd Person)
The Theatre of Tamaki's Mind, Once Again
The Host Club stared wide eyed at the home in front of them. Well, they couldn't really call it a home. The walls were cracking, some of the windows were busted, and the yard was over grown. Even the fence was falling apart. You could barely make out the plaque on the fence that labelled the house as the 'Fujioka's Residence'.
"B-But, this can't be right..." Tamaki murmured.
The door jiggled and squeaked as it was opened. A pair of brown and (e/c) colored eyes stared at the hosts. The faces popped through the crack of the door with small smiles on their them. Their cheeks were dirty and you could almost see their eye sockets from how thin their faces were.
"Hey everyone." (___) greeted.
"Why don't you come in?" Haruhi asked them, stepping aside and opening the door more.
Inside wasn't any better than the outside. A single light bulb hung from the ceiling and flickered ever so slightly. There were holes in the walls and the windows were falling apart. The kitchenette was tiny and barely had any space to do anything. It was dirty for the most part.
"Please, make yourselves at home. I'll make us some tea!" Haruhi announced.
The hosts stared as the two worked to gather some bowls and cups for the hosts to use. (___) poured in the tea while Haruhi held up the kitchenware.
"Um, I'm sorry, we don't have enough cups, but we do have some bowls." (___) apologized.
The two set them down on top of a news paper that the club assumed was their kitchen table.
"Hey boss. What's with this place? They live here?" Kaoru inquired.
"Maybe it's some kind of set. You know, like in the movies?" Hikaru suggested.
"I-I-I-I-I-I hope so." Tamaki stuttered in horror. "Calm down you guys. I bet this is the storeroom. I'm positive the infinite cosmos is just on the other side of that closet."
"Then should we try and open it?"
"Now's not the time!"
"Right!"
"Since you guys decided to come by at lunch time, my dad said it would be rude if we didn't offer you something to eat." (___) stated.
"Yeah, we've been fasting for three days to save up enough money to buy something suited to your taste. But, it's all worth it as long as you guys like it."
Haruhi reached into a nearby cabinet and pulled out two sushi samplers.
"Ta-da! Sushi samplers! They were marked down at the supermarket! How about that!" Haruhi chimed.
The Host club stared down at the sushi that was placed before them. Each of them started to become paper white at what they were witnessing. Honey stood up and ran towards the cousins, crying.
"Sorry we came to visit Haru-chan and (___)-chan! Don't make us eat it!"
"Be strong men, Haruhi and (___) have suffered for our benefit, so it's the least we can do."
"But sir, I'm not even sure this is fish!"
"Wow, I can't believe it! Isn't this a piece of fancy tuna? I've never tasted it till now!"
Haruhi held up a piece to her mouth and chomped on it, smiling.
"It's delicious!"
―――
"WHAT?! NO HARUHI! THAT'S JUST REGULAR OLD TUNA! IT'S BY NO MEANS FANCY!"
Tamaki shot out of bed and breathed heavily. He looked around his room and sighed in relief.
"So it was just a dream."
He hopped up and got ready for the day, putting on his uniform and grabbing his bag. He rushed out of his room and down the hall, then down the main staircase at the front of his mansion.
"Morning, Master Tamaki. Anything we can do for you?" Shima asked him.
"I need to get going. Please bring the car around front at once."
"Yes, of course, sir." Said the driver.
"I beg your pardon, Master Tamaki, but what would you like for breakfast this morning?" Shima questioned,
"I don't want any! I already told you I have to get going!" He screeched in response.
He stumbled towards the door as he remembered the very recent dream he just had.
I can't shake that nightmare I had. I respect the privacy of our club members, so I've never intruded into their personal lives but...what if Haruhi and (___) really are living in poverty? What if that hovel is their home?! I have to go see them and try to get the truth out of them. I've got to get to school! Tamaki thought.
"Hold it right there, Master Tamaki! I can't let you leave the house like that. You're still wearing your pajama bottoms and your house slippers!"
The tall blond froze and grumbled. He screamed as he rushed all the way back up to his room to put on the rest of his uniform and came back down dressed properly.
"Thank you, Shima. And I'll be going now." Tamaki stated as he blushed in embarrassment.
"I hate to be a bother, Master Tamaki, but today is Sunday. Which means you don't have to go to school today sir."
"Oh, really? Well, why didn't you make me aware of that fact earlier?"
"As your maid, it's my duty to help you. However, I want you to become a fine gentleman. So you must be able to recognize your own mistakes." Shima scolded. "Since you suddenly have some free time on you hands, why don't we work on your manners?"
Shima started to drag Tamaki away through a pair of doors as the boy struggled to get out of her tight grasp.
"Wait, but I have to make a call! Someone bring me a phone!"
"Sure!" Another maid said, as she placed a phone down in front of him.
Tamaki flipped out of Shima's grasp and stumbled to the phone, pressing rapidly at the buttons. He held the phone to his ear and waited for the other person to pick up.
"Hey Kyouya, there's something I need to talk to you about."
Currently, Haruhi was walking back from Marutomi Supermarket with a few bags in hand.
"That was some sale! There's no better time to hit the supermarket than a Sunday morning. Now all I've gotta do when I get home is clean and do some laundry." Haruhi beamed to herself.
She had just reached the outside of her apartment building when she noticed a crowd had gathered around two large, black, shiny cars.
What's going on? Why're they in front of our apartments? Haruhi pondered.
Out sat a Mercedes and a Rolls-Royce. The driver stepped out and opened the back door to the car.
"Here you are, Master."
Out stepped Tamaki, then Kyouya, then Hikaru and Kaoru, then Mori and Honey. Haruhi grit her teeth and groaned at seeing the familiar set of boys. She leaned into a nearby light pole and put her hands to her face.
"Wow, so this is where Haruhi and (___) live?" Kaoru looked over the apartment building.
"It's pretty big! Bigger than I thought it'd be!" Hikaru admired.
"Yeah, look at all those rooms!" Honey exclaimed.
"This building is what you might call an aggregate commoner dwelling. Haruhi and (___)'s unit is one of the many units in this building." Kyouya responded.
Tamaki walked in circles before grabbing Kyouya by the shoulder.
"Kyouya! Why?! Why'd you bring these idiots with us?! Especially those two doppelgangers!"
"Well, you see, I knew you didn't have the courage to come here alone, so I thought it'd be best if everyone came along." Kyouya offered before ushering himself and the others away. "Alright, let's go home. I guess I underestimated our great leader."
"What?! I'm not going home!"
"I-I'm sorry! Don't leave! I don't want to be alone." Tamaki ushered them back to where they previously were, seemingly more anxious then before.
"Is this for some kind of movie shoot or something?" Said someone from the crowd by the cars.
"Rich people! Rich people! Rich people!"
"Now listen up, men. Don't you forget! We must be polite. This is a casual, 'we just happened to be in the neighborhood' kind of visit. We're not here to judge the Fujioka or (l/n)'s family lifestyles. The words 'shabby', 'cramped', and 'rundown' are absolutely forbidden!"
"Right! Yes sir!" The twins, Honey, and Mori saluted.
Haruhi's anger grew as she watched the group continue to talk in front of her home.
"Don't say anything that might offend (___), Haruhi, or her father and cause them to ask us to leave."
"Well it's too late for that. GO AWAY!" Haruhi shouted at the group.
The group turned to see Haruhi, shaking with anger. They looked over the outfit she wore.
"H-Haruhi!" Tamaki stammered.
"That pink dress is pretty cute!" The group complimented.
"Shut up! Get the fuck out of here!" Haruhi barked.
"WAHHH! Haruhi's so mad, she actually cursed at us!" Tamaki pointed to the twins. "All of this is your fault! You're the reason Haruhi is angry with me! I knew if I brought you two along something like this would have happened!"
"Hey, it wasn't us."
Haruhi's landlady came up next to her.
"Excuse me, Haruhi, but is everything alright?"
"Oh, hi Miss Landlady."
"Those young men are driving such fancy foreign cars, they're not Yakuza, are they? Do you need me to call the police?"
"No, they're not." Haruhi replied before Tamaki waltzed over to the older women and held her hand.
"Pleased to meet you, madam. My name's Suoh. I'm one of Haruhi's friends."
"Really? My goodness, well aren't you just adorable?"
"And he's got her..." Haruhi mumbled.
"We're just stopping by, we didn't mean to cause a scene. I'm sorry."
"Oh, it's no problem." The landlady giggled and walked to Haruhi's side. "I'll stop by later with some snacks for you and your friends."
Haruhi sighed as she led the boys up to the apartment. She stood in front of the door, sighing to herself.
"Okay, here's the deal: I'm only giving you guys a quick peak. 3 seconds, then you all go home, got it?"
"Look, Haru-chan! I brought you a gift! I know how you love cake! There's chocolate, pecan, and strawberry!" Honey smiled.
"Fine, I guess I'll make some tea." Haruhi said before turning back to face the door.
She knocked on it a few times and waited for a response to come. From the inside, you could hear some thrashing around and heavy footsteps running to the door. As soon as the footsteps drew close, Haruhi backed away from the door as she saw it swing open and almost smack the wall.
"YES! My dear beautiful package! Come into my arms Given Vol. 6―" (___) smile dropped as he saw that there was no package at the door.
His head creaked up to look at who he was faced with. There was no delivery guy in sight, only the same boys he sees practically everyday after school. He froze in place and his mouth hung open. He was only wearing his glasses and sweatpants at the moment and looked very...out of it to say the least.
"I swear―you really need to start wearing shirts more often when you answer the door. You haven't even gotten out of your pajamas yet!" Haruhi scoffed.
"W-Why―W-Well―I didn't expect them to b-be here! H-How was I supposed to know?!" (___) finally exclaimed, pulling away from the door and covering his chest as a knee jerk reaction.
He was thoroughly embarrassed and he could feel heat rushing up to his face. Haruhi walked in and placed the bags of groceries onto the counter by the sink. The group stared into the house, completely void of how (___) was dressed.
At least it's better than my dream. Tamaki thought.
"What a hovel." Hikaru commented.
"Shut up!" Tamaki bellowed as he pinched his cheeks.
"A wood-built 2 bedroom unit. That's normal for a commoner family of 2." Kyouya stated.
"Haruhi and (___) are such pipsqueaks. At least we know they won't hit their heads on the low ceilings." Kaoru pointed out.
"Well I think it's a super cute little room!" Honey chimed.
"You don't have to struggle to compliment it." Haruhi deadpanned.
"Hold on, are we supposed to take off our shoes, too?"
"Please, if you don't mind." Haruhi responded.
(___) looked at the group as they walked into the front portion of their apartment.
"H-Haruhi...please...I'm begging you. Please tell me they aren't staying for the time being?" (___) questioned her.
"We don't have a choice in this at all. Show some back bone will you? You look like you're about to melt and that it's the end of the world."
"B-But I have commissions―"
"You are not leaving me to deal with this alone."
"Did you hear that? We have to take our shoes off! It's kind of like the dojo, huh?"
"Yeah."
"Do you have any slippers for us, Haruhi?" Hikaru inquired.
"Wait, the room's covered with tatami mats."
"In that case, we don't need slippers."
"Great! Thanks for inviting us in!"
"Yeah, thanks."
"It's greatly appreciated."
"Yes, thank you."
The hosts walked into the living room space and sat down all together. The cousins watched them as they did so, irked by their behavior and mannerisms.
"Woah! Talk about small!" Hikaru declared.
"Be careful. That light bulb's just hanging from the ceiling!" Kaoru told everyone.
"This place is quite unpleasant, but I think I may have underestimated commoner housing. I know it's a tight fit in here men, but just pull your knees in and sit gym-style. Commoners have specially developed this position to conserve space."
Haruhi and (___) grunted and turned their heads away.
"We just gotta make it through this visit." Haruhi muttered.
"Yeah, like that's gonna be easy. I already wanna shit myself." (___) sighed. "I'm gonna make us some tea."
"Hey! Here's an idea. Why don't you make us this? It's black tea that our father bought us as a souvenir from Africa. Here, try it." Hikaru held out the orange bag to tea for (___) to take.
"Uh, okay, no problem." The smaller boy went over and grabbed it.
"It's best served as milk tea. D'you have milk?" Kaoru questioned him.
"I think so. When was the last time we bought milk, Haru?" (___) asked her.
"Well, the other one only had a bit left and was going bad. I got us a new one today. It's not like a gallon size we normally get, but it's a quarter of a gallon." She replied.
Tamaki pulled the twins to him by their necks.
"Stop it! What the hell are you doing?! Don't be so mean to him, you idiots!"
"What do you mean?"
"I know you're trying to embarrass him by asking for that African tea. Look! He has no idea how he's supposed to prepare it!" Tamaki cried.
"He doesn't even have a teapot!"
"And he's too embarrassed to tell us that he doesn't!" Kaoru wept. "I'm sorry, (___). You don't have to go though all that trouble. We don't need any tea! We'd be fine with a glass of water."
"What? It's no trouble. Besides, I've already made it."
"Oh...well, in that case."
The three idiots huddled together once again.
"Man, that was a close one boss." Hikaru sighed.
"We have been rescued by commoners' wisdom."
"What do you mean sir?"
"Nothing we know to be true in our world holds true here. We have to be careful how we react. One little offhanded remark could break Haruhi and (___)'s hearts! That means, in this fight, the first person to embarrass them loses!"
"While your antics are amusing, I don't understand why you feel the need to turn this into a contest." Kyouya spoke as he went through the large bookcase in the room.
"Okay, here you go. It's ready." (___) stated as he placed the cups onto the table. "I'm sorry that not all of the cups match.
At least they're not using chipped bowls and measuring cups. Tamaki pondered.
"(___) I would hate to have to remind you again, but could you please go put something on! And wash your face because I know you haven't! I know you wouldn't wanna break out again!" Haruhi told the younger boy.
"Uh, yes ma'am!"
"And you better come back out of your room!" She called as (___) shut the door behind him.
(___) did as Haruhi told him to and washed his face and changed into something more suitable for the day. He didn't really know what went well together with what he had in his closet, but he tried his best to make an outfit. He threw on a (f/c) tee and some ripped blue jeans and cuffed them right above his ankle. He then left the room and placed an old pair of superstar Adidas by the front door for later on. He placed his glasses back on his face and messed around with his hair to make it look presentable again. Once done, he joined up with everyone again. He sat right in between Hikaru and Kyouya and watched as Haruhi picked one of the strawberry cakes from the box.
"Come, it's your turn, (___)-chan!" Honey pushed the box towards him.
"Are you sure? Does somebody else wanna pick before me?"
"Nah, go ahead! We eat this kind of stuff all the time!" Hikaru stated.
Kaoru and Tamaki shushed him as he said that.
"Well, in that case...I'll have one of the pecan ones."
Honey took it out of the box and placed it in front of him.
"He's so cute!" The idiot trio stated.
Mori and Honey took the other two while Kyouya, Kaoru and Tamaki all grabbed the chocolate ones. That left Hikaru with the last pecan slice. He stabbed at it gently, plucking off the pecans and placing them onto (___)'s plate. (___) looked to him.
"You like these right? You can have 'em. I'm more interested in just the cake part." Hikaru said, placing the last few onto his plate.
"Ah, thanks Hikaru, that's very nice of you!" (___) grinned up at the ginger.
"You're very welcome. Also," He pointed to his outfit. "I thought you said you weren't good at creating any outfits?"
"Hm? I'm not? Wait, does it look good?" (___) questioned him.
Hikaru nodded. "Oh, yes, it really does. Then again, I think you'd look good in anything you'd put on."
"I-I...thanks..." (___) stuttered before turning his attention back to his cake.
Kaoru and Tamaki flared up and glared at Hikaru who smirked at his recovery from his past comment.
"Why didn't we think of that? You traitor, Hikaru!" Tamaki pointed accusingly at the older twin. "I should have been sharing that pecan cake with him!"
"Why'd we let him trick us?" Kaoru cried.
The two angrily ate their slices of cake while Hikaru carried on conversation with (___). The group finished it pretty quickly, along with the black tea.
"Eating all that cake sure wet my appetite." Honey pat his stomach.
"Yeah, isn't it lunchtime about now?" Hikaru questioned.
"Well, what's for lunch?" The group asked (___) and Haruhi.
"Would you guys quit being so happy-go-lucky all the time?" Haruhi hissed.
"We'll take care of it. We did drop in unexpectedly. So, we'll pay for lunch. Why don't you order all of us some of your favorite sushi?" Kyouya pulled out a reflective gold credit card.
"Thanks but no thanks. I know that if we let you guys pay, we'll only regret it later." (___) stated.
"Oh, don't worry, (___). We'll just pay for it using the profits from the photos of you two we auctioned off." Kyouya responded.
"Ah, so we're really paying for it after all." Haruhi deadpanned.
"Well, if that's what you want, we do have a friend who runs a nice little sushi shop nearby, so I can just give him a call. Their stuff is pretty high quality." (___) piped up.
Tamaki turned to the short boy and started to scribble on some paper with a pen he found. He then looked around cautiously and handed it to him and Haruhi. The cousins looked it over.
"'Be careful, (___). Just because the sushi's packaging says 'premium'―" (___) began reading it.
"'Doesn't mean that it's high quality'." Haruhi finished.
The two grit their teeth and Haruhi balled up the paper. She tossed it into the waste bin right by the sink.
"We're not stupid. We can figure that out on our own." Haruhi sneered.
Tamaki flinched and started fussing while waving his hands around.
"How could you do that?! Daddy even attempted to look casual and not embarrass you!"
"I'd really love it if you'd make us something for lunch, Haru-chan and (___)-chan!" Honey suggested.
"Yeah, it would be interesting to taste what you guys can make!" Hikaru chimed in.
"No, Honey-senpai! How could you ask that of them!?" Kaoru called.
"DON'T UPSET THEM! TRY TO RESTRAIN YOURSELVES!"
"Hm, I guess we could whip something up, but it'll take a bit." Haruhi thought aloud.
"We can wait!" Honey cheered.
"Yeah, we can cook. Did you two have something in mind that you might like?"
Hikaru and Honey shook their heads.
"As long as we get to have something to eat!"
"We know it'll be good either way!"
"Why didn't we think of asking them that?" Kaoru and Tamaki cried.
"This means that we'll get to eat Haruhi's cooking!"
"I'm gonna have to go to the supermarket again."
"We're coming with you!" Hikaru declared.
"We want to see a commoner's supermarket!" Kaoru stated.
"Me too, me too!"
"This could be a learning experience."
"Yay! Commoners' supermarket! Commoners' supermarket!" The twins rejoiced as they ran out of the house.
"This is gonna be fun!" Honey giggled as he and Mori left as well.
Kyouya and Haruhi left the house as well, leaving just (___) and Tamaki inside.
"Well that's it. What would have been an ordinary job has now turned into a field trip." (___) sighed. "So much for getting any commissions done today."
(___) peaked back into the living room and noticed that Tamaki was kneeling in front of the little shrine dedicated to his Aunt.
"Hey, Tamaki-senpai. Aren't you gonna come with us?"
"Oh, I am. I just wanted to pay my respects to your aunt before we left."
"Uh, thank you. You don't have to do that, you know."
Tamaki gazed down at the picture of Kotoko.
"Haruhi really does take after her mother, huh?"
"I guess, that's what Auntie Ranka always says."
"She was a beautiful woman and I bet she was a smart one as well."
"I'm not really a good judge of beauty." (___) started as he sat down. "But she was smart, she was a lawyer."
"Oh yeah? No doubt she was a good lawyer! I can tell. Trust me, you can't fool my eyes, (___)."
"Well, I'm not so sure about that, Tamaki-senpai." (___) said. "I don't remember much of her but, Aunt Koto Koto....she was a great lawyer."
(___) smiled to himself remembering when his aunt was still alive. She was always happy to have a case to go to. She would always promise that she would win one when (___) was visiting them. He smiled to himself at the memory. Tamaki watched as the smile grew on his face and blushed at the sight. He placed the picture back where it originally was and fumbled around trying to stand up.
"Everyone's waiting for us outside. We should probably get going, don't you think?" Tamaki finally stood up, only to trip over his own feet.
He came crashing down, right on top of (___).
"Ow, that hurt." Tamaki groaned before turning his attention to (___) who lay beneath him. "Are you okay, (___)?"
"I'm fine, but you are kinda heavy."
Just then, the sound of shoes could be heard coming right through the door.
"I'm home (___), Haruhi! Hey, why'd you leave the door open?"
Auntie Ranka finally came home and stared directly at the position that Tamaki and (___) were in.
"H-Hey, Auntie."
At that moment, his uncle came home.
From his shift at the gay bar.
He saw his nephew pinned down.
Or so it appeared.
Forcefully being held.
Or so it appeared.
By some strange boy.
'Auntie'? You gotta be kidding me! Of all times to meet (___)'s uncle!' Tamaki pondered frantically.
"S-So, how was work?" (___) tried to remain as calm as he could in the situation.
He was well aware of what it looked like to Auntie Ranka, but he didn't want Tamaki to panic more than he already was.
Just stay calm. It was an accident. I'm sure he'll understand if I explain what happened. Tamaki thought.
The wide eyed Ranka smiled down at his nephew and walked up to the both of them after taking his shoes. She crouched down beside them and grabbed Tamaki by the shoulder, launching him into the wall opposite of them. He hit it, face first and fell to the ground.
"I'm sorry! I hated having to leave you two alone last night. You must have been lonely!" Ranka said.
"That sound. H-He must have hit really hard." (___) watched as Tamaki held his face and rolled all over the floor.
"Oh dear, my left arm has been bothering me lately. It's so sore, like I went hand-to-hand with some ferocious beast. Maybe I've just been working too hard."
"P-Please sir―it's not what it looked like!" Tamaki tried calling to him.
"I sure could use a hot cup of tea right now." Ranka remarked, rolling his shoulder.
"Hot tea?!" Tamaki bolted upright and grabbed the tea pot from the counter and rushed around the room in a tizzy. "I'll get it for you! Do you use firewood to boil it, (___)? Help me out, your uncle wants tea―!"
Ranka tripped Tamaki so he landed on the floor. He dug his foot into his back and glared down at him.
"Oh my, would you look at that? I seem to have come across a little pest. Would you like to tell me why you're addressing my nephew with such informality, young man?"
"Hey boss, what in the world is taking you so long?" Hikaru leaned in to see what was going on.
"Woah, check it out! That person we passed downstairs was (___)'s uncle!" Kaoru remarked.
"Hikaru! Kaoru! Help me out here!" Tamaki begged looking to the twins.
The two twins stepped into the room and walked right on top of Tamaki towards Ranka with outstretched hands.
"It's nice to meet you, (___)'s uncle. We're good friends of your daughter's and nephew's, the Hitachiin Brothers."
"So you cross dress?"
"You're the first real cross-dresser we've ever seen!"
"You finally put the moves on (___), huh boss?"
"Sorry about him. He's a people pleaser, if you know what I mean."
"He's a pheromone machine! In fact, I bet he's fooled around with more people than you can count!"
"He likes to fool around, huh?" Ranka sneered.
"NO! I'M NOT A PEOPLE PLEASER! I'm a nice guy! I care about him!" Tamaki surged up from the ground and whipped around to stare at the twins and Ranka.
Is he confessing his love?! The twins thought.
"I'm being completely honest here. I care about (___) like he's my own son." Tamaki bowed.
So, (___)'s uncle's first impression of Tamaki: he's an absolute idiot.
"I get it. You must be the Host Club I've heard so much about. You certainly are a fine looking bunch of young men. I'm not sure which one of you I like best! What about you Haruhi, (___)? I tell you what, why don't you boys go ahead and call me Ranka? That's the professional name I use at the gay bar I work at."
"Professional name? You mean like a stage name?" Honey questioned him.
"Exactly like that, Mitsukuni."
"Hold on! How do you know my name, sir?"
"Hm, you two are third years Mitsukuni Haninozuka and Takashi Morinozuka. And the two of you are first years in the same class as (___) and Haruhi. You're the Hitachiin twins, but I'm not sure which one of you is which! I've heard a lot about you!" Ranka said, pointing to each of the boys.
"What? So Haruhi and (___) told you about us?" Kaoru asked him.
"No. Kyouya told me about you two over the phone!"
"You know, you're really a beautiful person, Ranka."
"SAY WHAT?!" Everyone exclaimed.
"I'M SORRY????" (___) shouted, slamming his fist onto the little coffee table.
"Kyouya!!" Tamaki grabbed his shoulder from the corner he sat himself in.
"We've been entrusted with the care of his precious daughter and nephew, it is only natural that we introduce ourselves and give him periodic reports. Ordinarily, that would be your job, wouldn't it?" Kyouya stated as he took a sip of tea from his cup.
"I'm surprised that the club has such a capable president! But wait a minute, you're only the vice-president, aren't you Kyouya? I guess that president of yours is pretty much good for nothing, huh?"
"YOU NEVER MENTIONED THIS TO ME, DAD! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY YOU'VE BEEN GETTING CALLS FROM KYOUYA-SENPAI?!" Haruhi bellowed.
"YEAH, WHAT THE HELL? TALK ABOUT INVASION OF PRIVACY!" (___) shuddered.
"Well what am I supposed to do? You two rarely ever tell me anything about school!" Ranka whimpered.
"SO THAT MAKES IT OKAY TO TALK BEHIND OUR BACKS?!" (___) exclaimed.
"C'MON SENPAI WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP GROWING MUSHROOMS IN OTHER PEOPLE'S CLOSETS?!" Haruhi shouted at Tamaki who found a new little corner for himself.
"Haruhi, (___), the thing about you guys is...you're cute even when you're angry!" Ranka jumped up to hug his nephew and daughter.
"I don't know what it is about him but Haruhi's dad reminds me of someone." Hikaru stated.
"This explains why they're so good at handling the boss." Kaoru pointed out.
"Wait, Haruhi, where are you going?"
"The supermarket, alright? I have to go shopping and I wanna do it without a big group tailing me. C'mon (___)."
"Oh you don't have to ask me twice!" The younger boy jumped up and slipped his shoes on. "All of you should just stay here and try to behave yourselves!"
He followed Haruhi out of the apartment and shut the door behind them.
"Wait! We want to go to the commoner's supermarket!" Hikaru called after them.
"I wouldn't push it. Once they've made their minds up, they'll never change it! When Haruhi decided she wanted to go to Ouran Academy, she did all of the enrollment paperwork by herself. (___) was the same way with all the schools he applied to as well. He wouldn't let (M/N) or (F/N) even look at the papers! While I respect their independent spirits, I wish they'd be a little more dependent on me sometimes." Ranka explained. "I hope you boys know how grateful I am. Since they've found you, they seem to be a lot happier. You've made their world's grow so much bigger than ever before! They're finally enjoying themselves. Wouldn't you agree, Tamaki Suoh?"
Tamaki hit his head on the roof of the closet and pushed the door open, grinning from ear to ear at the mention of his name.
"You know who I am?"
"Well of course I do! (___) and Haruhi have told me a thing or two about you. You're the Host Club's bumbling president, right?" Ranka responded.
Tamaki yelped before turning back to his little hobbit hole of mushrooms.
So, they do talk about the Host Club after all. Kyouya pondered.
"Come to think of it, you're the one who didn't realize Haruhi was a girl until the very last moment, yet you were able to decipher that (___) was gay not even halfway through the second chapter. You're clueless aren't you? Pretty pathetic." Ranka took a sip from his cup. "Now that we've gotten all the introductions out of the way, how would you boys like to have a little fun?"
―――
Haruhi and (___) walked along the sidewalk that Haruhi had used this morning while coming back from the supermarket. Each of them sighed like they had been working all day, even if it was only about noon.
"God, why didn't he tell us?" (___) grit.
"Yeah, we had no idea that Kyouya-senpai's been calling my dad and giving him updates."
"Honestly, I feel betrayed! I thought Kyouya-senpai was nice, but something like this―can you imagine? What the hell―he could be telling my parents about the shit we're doing! How embarrassing! Mama must be cackling her fuckin' head off!" (___) rubbed his (h/c) hair and groaned.
The two didn't realize that they were being closely followed by the hosts and Ranka.
"So, we're going to follow them to the supermarket?"
"This is what you meant by 'fun'?" Kyouya inquired.
"Yes! I call it the stalking game."
Some people from around them stared, talking to each other.
"In all honesty, I have a completely selfish reason for bringing you out with me. I want to be seen with a bunch of cute boys!"
"Sure enough, those two are definitely cut from the same cloth."
――
Marutomi Supermarket
(___) and Haruhi were over by the produce and meat, trying to decide on what would be easy to make for a group as large as theirs.
"I mean, what is there to make? We only have so much money. Buying one slab of meat wouldn't allow us to even get anything else to make a meal." (___) commented.
"You just don't know how to buy groceries, (___)."
"What's that mean, Haru? I can't be that bad."
"Says the boy who keeps sneaking in seaweed crisps covered in wasabi and green tea Kit-Kat bars into the basket." Haruhi pointed to the items.
(___) jumped at being caught.
"A-Ah...I can't help it! It's good! I only get to have them so many times a year before going back home! I can't help but indulge." (___) rubbed the back of his neck.
"Yeah, yeah. But this is why I don't let you do the shopping as much anymore. Buy snacks with your own money!"
"Bu-But I only have so much yen left, Haru! I can't buy those things. I could probably only buy an eraser and that's it." (___) sighed sadly. "Alright, this is the last time! I won't ever sneak in anything else into the basket! I promise!"
Haruhi looked directly at his cousin and shook her head.
"I have the hardest time believing that."
"Have some faith in me!" (___) smacked her arm.
The two were unaware that they were being watched by the host club as they continued talking and looking over the food in front of them.
"Do you really think it's necessary to follow them around like this?" Tamaki questioned Ranka.
"Yeah, are you really that worried about them?"
The four of them stared out of the aisle they were hiding in and watched as the cousins walked further into the produce section, happily chatting.
"Well, as you know, Haruhi lost her mother at a young age. (___)'s mother was also in a fatal car crash that left her paralyzed. Afterwards, the two took on the duty of the household chores, not once letting either me nor (F/N) do anything. Haruhi here focuses more on the shopping and (___) on the cleaning. I decided to follow them whenever they went out together. They've been doing this type of thing for so many years! Maybe I'm just being over protective. I worry about them all the time. (M/N) puts a lot of trust in me to take care of her son while I watch over Haruhi. Although (___) can protect himself, he has his moments when he's extremely vulnerable. As for Haruhi, I'm the only one who can protect her aside from (___), you know." Ranka exhaled deeply. "Either they don't know how to depend on others or they refuse to. They really only find solace within each other. That most likely comes from a place of understanding: Haruhi losing her mother and (___) almost losing his. They don't want anything to happen to each other. They've always been so independent and so strong. And they have this uncanny ability to affect others without even realizing it."
"That's true, I've seen it." Tamaki smiled. "I understand."
Ranka glanced at Tamaki before pinching his left cheek.
"What do you mean, 'I understand'? Don't think you're gonna win me over just because your handsome. I'm warning you, I'm not ready to let go yet!"
"You could at least let go of my face!" Tamaki struggled to get out.
"You've got some nerve! You barely even know (___) or Haruhi! That means from this day forward, YOU'RE MY ENEMY!" Ranka announced.
The twins snickered as they watched Tamaki instantly deflate as he was kicked out of the aisle they hid in.
Back with Haruhi and (___), the two were still gathering some things for food they might want to get.
"Oh, (___), I forgot to grab rice the first time I went out here, could you go get some? Also grab some udon noodles too. I'm trusting you to only get those two things."
"You can count on me!" (___) saluted to Haruhi before going into the aisles to find the pasta and rice.
Haruhi heard a thump behind her and she turned to see Tamaki just getting up from the floor.
"What the―? Hey, what're you doing here, senpai?" Haruhi questioned.
"Oh! It looks like you caught me Haruhi! I followed you here so that I could carry your shopping basket! You know how Daddy loves accessories! Now why don't you just hand it over?" Tamaki grinned as he meekly laughed.
"Hahaha! You're so weird." Haruhi giggled.
"What's with the mushrooms?" Haruhi plucked the ones off of Tamaki's shoulder.
"Wee! Faster, Takashi!" Honey laughed as he was being pushed in a cart.
"So, does double-coupons mean I need two of them?" Kyouya questioned himself as he walked by.
"Woah! There's a whole stack of commoner's coffee!" Hikaru pulled his brother along.
"Was there anything in particular you wanted to eat?" Haruhi asked Tamaki.
"How 'bout...a stewpot? One with lots of meat in it and no chrysanthemum." Tamaki offered.
"That's a great idea! A stewpot would be good since we need to feed a lot of people. It's kind of warm for it though."
With (___), the boy had gone around the aisles a few times, a bit unfamiliar with where he was going.
"Just how many times have I passed the damn noodles and rice? This is also another reason for Haruhi not to let me to the shopping―I'd get fucking lost in here―" (___) ran into someone's back. "Ah, jeez, sorry sir, I didn't mean to run into you."
"Oh, no, there's no trouble at all."
(___) looked up to be faced with Hikaru who held at least ten things of instant coffee within his hands.
"Hikaru―Kaoru?! The hell are you two doing here? I thought we told you to stay home!"
"But we wanted to see the commoner's supermarket!" Kaoru pouted.
"Yeah! Look at all of this commoner's coffee! We can stock up on as much as we want! This place is awesome!" Hikaru smiled.
(___) shook his head as he chuckled at the twins. Both of them struggled to put anymore in their hands.
"You know, I think you'd be better off with a cart rather than just carrying it all in your hands. I'm surprised I didn't knock anything out of your hands running into you, Hikaru." (___) went over to the front of the store and grabbed one cart.
He rolled it back over to the aisle the twins were in.
"Now you can stock up on as much as you want without dropping any."
(___) started to help the twins unload the massive amount of coffee they both had in their hands and placed them in the cart.
"Just don't buy all of it! Other people might need some too."
"Okay fine, I guess we'll have to share." Hikaru huffed as he took only a few more off the shelf.
"As if having more than ten pots of this stuff isn't enough for you guys and the other hosts! Seriously, you don't need this much!"
"Better stock up now!" Kaoru piped up.
"Yeah, who knows when we'll step foot in a place like this again."
Haruhi noticed that (___) was with the twins and looked down at the massive cart of instant coffee they had.
"(___)! I said udon noodles and rice! Not a boat load of coffee!" She shouted.
(___) jumped at her shouting and put his hands up defensively.
"What―I'm not the ones who wanted this shit! The twins were already taking it off the shelves! So sorry for providing them with a cart like the good boy that I am!" (___) retorted.
"Oh yes, a good boy indeed! Thank you for doing such a nice deed for us, little nerd." Hikaru blew in his ear.
(___) flinched at the gesture and swatted at Hikaru's face. The twin chuckled.
"I take back my helping you two. Fuck you, Hikaru."
"Only if you watch me while I do it to you." He murmured back to him.
(___) flustered greatly and his stomach stirred with butterflies and couldn't even stutter out a response. He practically short circuited.
Ranka watched as the twins interacted with (___) and Haruhi interacted with Tamaki.
I know it's going to happen eventually. One day my precious little girl will be all grown up. And my nephew will fly from his nest at some near time in the future. They'll want to have that special someone by their sides. Ranka pondered.
"Just thinking about it gets my blood boiling!"
―――
"Here Tamaki! Chrysanthemum, you're favorite!"
"Don't hog all the meat!"
"Wow this is delicious! Good work Haru-chan and (___)-chan!"
"What is going on here?"
"The hell if I know."