Okay, this whole waiting a week to upload thing just ain't gonna work. I'm too impatient ;) And I've got a crying 1 year old who wants a "baba" (bottle) and that just is not something that's fun to ignore. So enjoy!
For someone who didn’t get home until 3 am, Courtney rolled out of bed quite well. I, on the other hand, needed a bit of forceful persuasion.
“Upsie daisies!” Courtney sang into my ear. “Rise and shine!”
My eyes squeezed further shut and I tried to block out all surrounding disturbances except for my soft bed. No such luck. A mass dropped forcefully onto my stomach, and my breath rushed out of me. For such a skinny frame, Courtney packed a lot of weight. Or maybe it just felt like that when it was all suddenly on top of you.
“No. Gettoff,” I moaned.
“What’s that?” Courtney asked sweetly. “You’re excited for school? That’s great!” she cheered with excessive enthusiasm. “I was worried there for a sec. Thought you might want to do something stupid like, oh, I don’t know, sleep maybe.” Her mocking tone just begged for a good beating, but I was way too tired to move.
She groaned when I didn’t respond and then grabbed my shoulders. “Auden, get your butt up!” She shook me hard, until I opened one eye to glare at her. The sun only streamed lightly into the room, having barely risen above the horizon. It couldn’t have even been 6:30.
“You. Suck,” I told her, lacing my sleepy words with as much venom as I could muster.
Courtney, still on top of me, just shrugged. “I get that a lot.”
“Course you do,” I muttered. “Can you get off of me?” Her knee was pressing into my leg, and it was beginning to border into painful.
“Sure,” she submitted easily. “But you’re getting up with me.”
I made a face, but allowed her to pull me up and out of bed. An alarm clock on the nightstand between our beds displayed the time with large red numbers. Six in the morning. Lovely.
Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I grudgingly asked, “Why in God’s name am I up at the hour?” I barely ever got up before nine. Eight was pushing it, but six was unheard of.
Courtney rolled her eyes, and I realized with a start that she wore none of the thick makeup from yesterday. Since she was still in her pajamas, I figured she’d just woken up as well, but it was still odd to see her void of all the black. Her skin was less washed out, and she looked more vibrant; full of life instead of a corpse.
“Silly girl,” she said. “You don’t think I’m letting you show up to school without some prepping do you?”
I gave her a disbelieving look. Even if she currently wasn’t decked out in her black garb, I had no doubt that within half an hour she would be back in all her gothic glory. “Yeah, sure. You’re the last person I need giving me fashion tips.” Probably not the nicest thing to say, but she could deal, especially after waking me up so early. “Besides, I’m not going to school.”
Courtney cocked an eyebrow. “Uh, yeah, you are. Why in the world wouldn’t you be?”
Did she completely miss my escape last night? Was she just completely delusional? “Because,” I explained, “even though they weren’t last night, there will be plenty of buses out of this place today.” Did she really think I was going to stay?
She did, I realized as she quickly dropped down onto her bed. Lucky duck. I thought about doing the same, but Courtney gave me a glare, already guessing my intentions. “You’re not staying?” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “But I thought . . . Just last night . . . I thought . . .” She stopped babbling and gazed at me with large eyes.
No, I ordered. You’re not giving in. But oh god, she looked hurt. I felt bad, glancing at her upset face. After all, she had followed me last night. And helped me when I broke down yesterday. And wanted to get me prepared for school. Was it really fair to her to leave? I mentally smacked myself. Since when has anything I’ve done been fair to anyone?
“Auden, please? Just, just try it. Please? For everyone?”
You think after leaving my own family I can’t leave another? I’m pretty sure I’d be doing everyone a favor by leaving. Why should I try it when we both know I’m going to leave anyways? Wouldn’t it just hurt more? So many responses hovered on the tip of my tongue. However, I’m not sure who was more surprised by what I said next,
“Before you get started, let me tell you that there is no way in hell I’m showing up at school in all black.”
Courtney sprang up, and I couldn’t help but laugh when she shouted “Yes!”, complete with an enthusiastic fist pump.
“This is going to be fun,” she told me earnestly, and for a second, I couldn’t help but believe her. Then she pointed out the door. “Now chop, chop, get in the shower. We don’t have all day here!”
What am I doing here? I asked my reflection. Drops of water rolled off my shoulders and down my arms until they splashed onto the floor. In the mirror, my wet hair appeared darker than normal, pin-straight in its saturated state, lacking its typical wave. The warm shower had brought back some color to my cheeks, and my skin lightly glowed under the florescent lights. My reflection surprised me; I couldn’t remember the last time I’d looked in a mirror. Despite the renewal of my skin, I looked older than I recalled, more serious. Maybe a break would do me some good. For once, someone else could worry about me. Had I seen this reflection a year ago, I would have said that this girl was in need of some serious fun.
Fun, I mused. It sounded too good to be true. I was the last person who deserved it. That snapped me back to reality. How could I have fun, knowing what I did? I pictured my family in the back of my mind, slowly withering away. I couldn’t. I shouldn’t. It wasn’t right.
But still . . .
My conscience was tearing at the seam. I’d faced the two sides so many times the last few months, I knew exactly what side each took. On one hand, I had my free, teenage, happy-go-lucky personality wanting to let go of responsibility and think about myself. The other side wanted to wipe fun from my life after what I’d done. Told me I didn’t deserve such luxuries after my betrayal. It buried me in guilt from my past. That side had led me since I’d left home six months ago. But maybe, just maybe, it was time for a change. I felt myself caving, and before I could get a grip on my emotions, I was grinning a huge Cheshire cat grin into the mirror. I had a new challenge. It was time to let my walls down, time to recuperate. Time for fun.
I wasn’t going to be here for long, I knew that. But why not enjoy it while it lasted? Do something different for a change?
“I’ll try it,” I told my reflection. “You’ll see, I’ll try.”
Suddenly someone was banging on the door. “Are you done in there or what?” Courtney yelled. “I’ve got an hour to do you up and I’ll be damned if you take any more time out of it than you already have!”
“Coming!” I shouted back, taking one last glance at myself before I left the bathroom. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but I could have sworn I already looked better. Happier.
Nah, I decided. That’s ridiculous. But regardless, when I walked out, my head was held just a little bit higher, my lips just slightly more turned up. But it was probably just wishful thinking.
“Contestant number five!” Courtney called out. Throwing open the closet doors, I walked out, a false strut in my steps. I gave a little spin and put my hands on my hips, opening up for judgment from Courtney.
Clothes were strewn across both out beds, and some even ventured to the floor. We had made a fashion show to find my outfit, and I was beginning to doubt we would ever finish in time. Much to my surprise, Courtney had a huge walk-in closet, completely stuffed with clothes. But the astonishing part was the type of clothes in the closet. A distinct line down the center separated the two different styles. It was obvious that the left side catered to her current fashion with its monochromatic outfits, but the right side was the complete opposite. Splashes of every color dotted the rack, deeply contrasting the adjacent black attire. That was the side my clothes were being chosen from.
“This is not my type of thing,” I told Courtney upright. There was no chance I was wearing the tiny dress anywhere, especially not a school. The red material made it look more like a hooker outfit than anything else. She laughed and shook her head,
“No, definitely not. But what a shame,” she sighed dramatically. “I had the perfect shoes to go with it too.”
“Oh no, you didn’t!” I put my hands in front of me and backed away from her. I could only imagine what type of shoes she would wield with this dress. Some skinny heeled, strappy death trap I was sure. Courtney smiled wickedly,
“You sure? Absolutely positive? I mean we are trying to butter you up for the boys here. You’d have them at your every beck and call in that dress.”
I narrowed my eyes at her, “You say one more word about me wearing this dress and I’m tearing it in half.” If the guys were anything like the pigs who populated my last school, I’d be holding the bottom of the dress down for dear life all day.
“Hmm . . .” Courtney mused. “They probably like that even better.” Oh god, that was not even a mental picture I wanted to think about. If she wanted me to make it through even the school day without running out screaming to another town, she better give me another outfit quick.
To my relief, she reached out and pulled some articles of clothing from a stack beside her. She tossed them at me and shooed me back into the closet. I quickly stripped and started slide the new outfit on, getting into the habit after the numerous clothes I’d already put on. Thankfully, the new set of clothes were much more conservative than Courtney’s last selection. Courtney was a little smaller than me, but I was able to fit in most of her stuff so far. I finished pulling on the jeans, simple light blue ones that flared slightly at the bottom. I didn’t have a problem with the white camisole either, but the last two articles were a little different. A sleeveless royal purple cardigan went over the white shirt. It covered my back, but lacked any front clasp, so it hung open. At the bottom, it billowed, making it look like it floated around me. After I shrugged it on, I just held the thick brown belt Courtney had thrown. It was too large to fit in my jean loops, so I strapped it over the cardigan around my upper stomach.
Huh, I thought, looking down at the completed outfit. It was different for sure, but I think I liked it. It had a certain artsy appeal to it, while not being ostentatious. Finished, I pushed open the closet doors for Courtney’s inspection. “What do you think?” I asked hesitantly. I thought it looked okay, but I couldn’t tell without looking in a mirror. Courtney slid off the bed and stood up to look at the outfit. She tilted her head as she looked me over.
“Well that’s funky,” she muttered at last, her eyes still glued to the clothes.
“Funky?” I didn’t know whether that was a good thing or she was saying I looked like a hippy. I hoped my fashion sense wasn’t that outdated, but after six months of dirty, old clothes, it was entirely possible.
“Give . . . give me a sec,” Courtney’s voice was oddly distressed as she stood in front of me, but suddenly, something seemed to click in her mind and she rushed to her dresser, fumbling through the drawers. I gazed over at her, raising an eyebrow, but didn’t comment. A few moments later, Courtney let out a pleased squeal. She snatched something I couldn’t see out of a drawer, and hurried back to me. I expected her to stop, but she passed right by me, heading into the closet, and disappearing into the clothes.
“Courtney?” I asked tentatively. I didn’t get any response. A few muttered words emitted from the racks of clothes, but I still didn’t see Courtney. Moments later she emerged from underneath some hanging clothes and crawled across to another rack, disappearing once again. Finally, I heard a muttered “Yes!” as she pulled herself out of the closet, now laden with a few more accessories. First, she picked up both of my arms and quickly slid an identical bracelet on each. They were thick and jingled with hundreds of dangling multicolored beads. Next, she dropped a pair of sandals at my feet. Their soles were made of intertwined wood, but the straps were decorated with the same beads that adorned the bracelets. I slid them on and then turned to look in the mirror on the back of Courtney’s door.
“This is cute,” I admitted. The splashes of color gave the outfit an artsy look, and tied the entire thing together. I fingered combed my hair and brushed it over my shoulders. Next to the dark purple, natural highlights shone through in my burgundy hair, giving it a deep red tint.
Courtney came and stood next to me, resting her elbow on my shoulder. She already was decked out in her black outfit, and it made all my color all the more obvious. “Admit it,” Courtney said. “I’m good.”
I smiled. “Okay, okay, you’re good. Real good.”
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