I woke up again, 6:00 as usual. The feeling of emptiness instantly crawled back into my stomach. Disgusting.
I can't stand it anymore. The repeating of everyday makes me more and more restless.
I drag myself out of bed as usual and flip on my lights. My mirror is right beside me.
I stare into the mirror. I HATE what stares back.
I am so jealous of everyone. They all have nice curly hair, beautiful eyes, freckles dotting across their nose, a decent fucking household.
I just go by
Everyday at a time
Hoping it will get better, repeating in my head that when I'm 16 I can get a job and get things I want and need
Hoping that maybe somebody in my family will step up and get a fucking job instead on continuously pissing off my grandparents because we keep fucking up the house
It's so dirty, There is so many animals, the only one I can tolerate is my gecko, which I am barely keeping alive because my parents can't get another heat lamp for him.
He lived through last winter though.
My other grandparents live with us, I can't fucking stand them or their stupid ass dogs anymore.
Oh and don't even get me started. Their dogs fucking scratched up my door frame because they licked them in here. My floor is also completely carpet, has been for 20 years when my grandma lived in this house.
Now it's fucking disgusting
But it's no big deal.