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THE FOLLOWING MORNING NYX WAS THE FIRST "AWAKE". She'd been escorted out of her tent by Arthur Weasley, who was very wary to give her back to the Malfoys but couldn't do anything about it. Severus was Nyx'd legal guardian and he hadn't given permission to Mr. Weasley to oversee Nyx.
Nyx rubbed her sleepless eyes. She hadn't slept and so there were bags under her eyes, and her body was begging her for sleep, but Nyx chose to ignore it. She stared ahead of her to find Lucius, Narcissa, and Draco standing a few paces away outside the Weasley's tents looking at them as if they were filth.
"You'll be alright, won't you, Nyx?" asked Mr. Weasley, concerned was laced around each one of his words as he grimaced at the Malfoys.
Nyx was silent for a moment. She carefully observing the Malfoy family. They looked perfectly put together ... almost too perfect considering what had happened just the night before. Nyx was suspicious of them as she would have expected they looked more shakeup or dishevelled.
"I can take care of myself, sir, no need to worry," Nyx finally replied.
She'd smiled at the man reassuringly, but instead of seeing him relax Mr. Weasley looked at her with a sympathetic expression. Nyx blinked, bewildered by his emotion. She couldn't understand ... why was he sympathetic?
"It's okay to ask for help, we'll be here if you need it," said Mr. Weasley.
Nyx was appreciative but currently didn't want to discuss anything. She told a quick glance back at the tents remember who was sleeping inside of them. Nyx knew that Mr. Weasley already had his children to worry about, plus Harry and Hermione. It felt selfish to pile on her problems when his plate was full — no, Nyx didn't want to burden the man more than she had to.
"Could you possibly tell the others goodbye for me? It looks like I'll be disappearing on them again," she chuckled half-heartedly which the man took notice of.
"I will."
"Thank you again, sir, for everything," Nyx waved goodbye and went to rejoin the Malfoys and as she did her smile faded.
No words were exchanged between them. Not when they all returned to the tent, not when they gathered their things, and not when they travelled back to Malfoy Manor. It wasn't as though they had anything to say or anything they wanted to say.
It wasn't until they had entered the massive home that Narcissa had tried to strike up a conversation with Nyx, but Nyx ignored her. She walked past the woman and ran up to lock herself away in her room.
Nyx collapsed, barely making it to her bed, her knees hit the floor hard, but she had no time to be concerned about that. Instead, she was clenching the front of her shirt, eyes watering as she felt pain her chest — pain she'd never felt before. Then, it felt as though she couldn't breathe, almost like she was being choked.
Her heart was racing, her ears ringing, stomach twisting, and she felt lightheaded.
Those poor people, she thought to herself. Winky ... those muggles ...
Her mind racing with a swarm of negative thoughts that engulfed her entire body tying her down like an anchor to a sinking ship. She felt heavy, unable to control her own body as she wailed out in pain, unable to catch her breath, gasping for air.
During this time that she was on the floor, Hypnos had flown out of his unlocked cage and flew over her, Poppy had woken up from her nap and stood by the girl looking up at her with an expression that almost looked concerned.
Nyx trembled and stay that way for about two minutes and as quickly and randomly as the episode came, the sensation stopped. She got off her knees, steadying her breathing, and sat down on the ground, legs sprawled out in front of her as she buried her face in her hands. Her vision blurred, and her body's fatigue finally defeated her mind's stubbornness to stay awake ... Nyx fainted on the floor, cheeks still damp with tears.
✧
Nyx woke up with a start, her eyes darting around madly, her body on edge as though she was in imitate danger. Nyx calmed down however when she realized where she was, and when she heard Poppy's loud meowing from Nyx to her. She sat up, back aching because she'd slept on the ground in an uncomfortable position. Her room was lightened with the sun that was high up in the sky — she must have been out for a few hours at least considering she'd only arrived in the early morning.
Nyx looked down to her sides, Poppy and Hypnos were both looking up at her wide-eyed.
"It was just another nightmare," Nyx told them quietly, then stood up and stretched out her body; she still felt drained. "Nothing to worry about."
Nyx walked over to the bathroom that was connected to her bedroom, turning on the lights she was almost startled by her reflection. She looked dreadful, almost as horrible as she did when she'd been possessed by Tom Riddle's diary.
She turned on the tap, cupped her hands and splashed cold water on her face to wake her up fully. Nyx wondered how the others were doing. They were likely back at Ron's house, coming to terms with what had happened. Nyx thought of Mrs. Weasley and wondered if the papers had already gotten wind of what had happened. If so, the woman must have been delighted to see everyone come back all right.
Nyx smiled softly, she wished she could have gone back with them. She wanted to spend more time with her friends and get to know more about Ron's family. Maybe ask his brother Charlie about the dragons he worked with.
The girl rubbed her face and stared back at her appearance. The dried tears and drool were now gone, but she could still see the dark circles under her eyes.
"Percy works for the Ministry now, doesn't he? I wonder if he knows," the thought crossed Nyx's mind suddenly. But she shook it away, Percy hadn't even been working there for a year ... the Ministry wouldn't just divulge that kind of information.
But how many people knew? There was the obvious the Death Eaters within Voldemort's most inner circle, this included Severus, the Malfoys, and a Miss Bellatrix Lestrange. Outside of the Death Eaters, there was Cornelius Fudge, Dumbledore, Mr. and (maybe) Mrs. Weasley, Professor Lupin, Sirius, Pettigrew, Mr. Couch and those Ministry agents including Mr. Diggory.
From that, who had they told? What would happen if the press found out? What if a Daily Prophet article was written about her? What if her classmates found out ... if the whole wizarding world knew —
Nyx's breathing was picking up again, and she started shaking as the idea played in her mind. What if — what if they all hated her afterwards? She was now hyperventilating, tightly holding onto the sink. The thought of having so many people know ... they'd judge her for sure, they'd isolate her, they'd despise her —
"Nyx?"
She blinked, doing so allowed a tear to freely roll down her cheek. Nyx turned to her opened the door and saw Narcissa standing in her room. The woman looked worried — why did everyone look at her with an expression of concern? Nyx thought angrily. But why was she even angry? She didn't know, but she felt it suddenly boiling inside of her.
"Oh. Nyx, honey, what's wrong —"
"Stop it," Nyx said rudely.
Narcissa looked taken aback. Nyx shook her head, and she stared at the woman.
"Just stop it already, stop pretending. I know you don't really care about me—"
"What are you talking about? Nyx, of course, I care—"
"NO, YOU DON'T!" Nyx shouted, face now red with anger and fists clenched. "YOU'VE BEEN LYING — FAKING IT ALL THIS TIME! YOU ONLY ACT LIKE YOU CARE, YOU ONLY PUT UP WITH ME BECAUSE I'M HIS DAUGHTER, RIGHT? WELL?"
The woman did not deny it.
"It may have well started that way, Nyx, but not anymore ... I do care —"
"STOP LYING TO ME! YOU WERE ONE OF THOSE DEATH EATERS, WEREN'T YOU? YOU SUPPORTED VOLDEMORT! Y—YOU HURT THOSE MUGGLES ..."
"Nyx."
Narcissa tried to get closer to the girl. Tried to calm her down, she was speaking in a soft tone of voice, softer than she had ever spoken before. There was more to this, she knew it, because, although she was screaming fiercely, Nyx couldn't hold back her tears.
"I didn't —"
Nyx shook her head frantically as she back away.
"I SAID STOP LYING!" she roared as she shut her eyes.
She didn't know what she had done, she only heard the shattering aftermath. When Nyx opened her eyes she gasped, the colour drained from her face. She was horrified at what she'd done.
Narcissa had been knocked off her feet and was sent flying across Nyx's bedroom. Her body had slammed right into Nyx's full-length mirror, causing it to shatter, shards of glass were sticking out of the woman's now heavily bleeding arm.
"N-Narcissa!" Nyx squealed and stumbled over to the woman, dropping down next to her, she tried to stop the bleeding by applying pressure on the woman's wounds, but too much blood was coming out. Nyx's hands were shaking and her vision was cloudy with tears.
What had she done? What had she done? What had she done —
Her bedroom door slammed open.
"What happened?"
It was Lucius. His eyes enlarged when he saw the state that his wife was in, then he turned to see Nyx. The girl kneeling by his wife, crying. Lucius acted quick and avoid of thought, he tore Nyx away from his wife and pushed her back.
Nyx shook her head, "I-I didn't mean — I didn't want to, I swear ... it was an accident,"
"What — did — you —do?"
Fear. Nyx saw it the fear in their eyes. Her reality shifted and she saw her nightmare gawking right back at her ... they thought she was a monster.
Nyx, not knowing what to do, crawled away like a coward back into the attached bathroom. She was struggling to her feet taking in shaggy breaths as she tried to calm down. She went to wipe away her tears only to winced when she saw the blood on her hands — blood that was not her own.
Nyx jumped to her feet, hysterically crying as she put her hands under the sink and viciously tried to scrub away the scarlet liquid.
"It won't come off, i-it won't come off ... IT WON'T COME OFF!" she shrieked, frantically trying she cleaned herself, tried desperately to get the blood off her hands.
Like father, like daughter, said a small dark voice.
"SHUT UP!" Nyx shook her head scrubbing endlessly, even when in reality, her hands were clean; they still felt dirty.
Nyx hadn't even realized how much time had gone by. Hadn't realized that her hands were almost numb and wrinkled. She didn't realize that Narcissa had been escorted out of the room by her husband, or that she had been alone the manor for the last two hours while Narcissa was getting fixed by healers.
She was alone, abandoned. She'd become angry and hurt someone. Why was she like this? Why did she couldn't she have more control over her emotions? Why was she such ... such a monster?
Nyx's eyes glanced up at her reflection in the mirror.
She frowned when she saw a glimpse of the thing she feared most in the world. She saw herself looking back at her, red-eyed, scally skinned and smirking menacingly. Then there was a moment, just a single fraction of a second where Nyx went there — where her mind thought that maybe, just maybe, all of this mental suffering would just end if she gave into it. If she just stopped fighting—
"It's fine."
The girl froze. Her eyes gently drifted to her side where she saw him standing there, appearing out of nowhere. His presence made her forget about that fraction of a second, and suddenly she felt guilty again. Guilty that she had even considered giving in to that inner darkness because she was tired of trying to hold it at bay.
"Am ... — am I a bad person?" she asked him, voice shaking.
Nyx was surprised when he grabbed her arm and pulled her into a hug, something that she had never expecting to receive from him. Her vision blurred and she shut her eyes wrapped her arms around his torso. She felt warm, secure, not so lonely anymore ... and so she sobbed.
"I didn't mean to hurt her," Nyx croaked, as she clutched his dark robes tightly, "I didn't mean to — it was an accident,"
"I know," said Severus quietly. "Sometimes, good people do bad things."