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"Swim in my tight embrace as my waters will warm you with its depth, seeding all the solutions of your worries with its oxygen, and heal with me."
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Trust issues trust issues trust issues trust-
"Thank you for proving me wrong all these years-"
"They used me-"
"Used me-"
"They used me."
UGH. STOP BRAIN. SHUT UP FOR GOD'S SAKE.
I was currently all tucked up and fucked up in the sheets of the silky bed of our bedroom, as I was deep in thought about the events that unfolded today during the wonderfully surprising events that happened a few hours ago. My brain wouldn't shut up with his words repeating in my mind and it was driving me insane for some reason.
Other than my batshit crazy mind going haywire, the coronation went amazingly successful, with every guest getting to enjoy the drinks and spectacular food, and it was even more enjoyable for me because of having my family over there.
"And you shut down all those emotions of disgust and hatred towards humans inside me once you met me again."
"You blew away my mind love."
Of course, after his whole explanation during the dance, I couldn't stop thinking about what happened in his past. And obviously this simmering indignation started pouring into my cells which made me twitch in resentment, to see him get treated with primordial ego.
His words held my interest like none other, as it was very difficult for to grasp each and every bit of information into my mind slowly and carefully, I had so much things on my plate to think about, and his face through out tonight did not help me.
It bugged my soul to notice the whole dark aroma of his eyes when he entered the room with a bang, knocking off everyone's high expectations with a sword, but to see the difference in his eyes when he looked at me was beyond heart clenching.
Not just the fact that I saw a whole concert of want in his inhumanly red eyes, but I also saw so many questions being asked to me without any words.
And on top of that, my own eyes spoke a lengthy story to him.
Ever since Cynthia passed down her power to me, I felt a shift in my veins when it came to Zari. I started to feel things more intensely than before, and no matter where I was located, the urge to be near him tonight always exceeded my feelings I held towards him before.
No, this time it was different. It was more loving and caring, I started to feel emotions I've never felt for a man before.
And I don't want to blame the mate bond completely for this surprisingly.
I gave a good few minutes of my time on bed to think about my emotions towards him, and how special he made me feel.
Regardless of not being the most beautiful girl in his sight today, he did treat me like a true queen. He always stayed by my side and comforted me from the overwhelming comments of the battering guests today.
He made me feel safe, warm, protected. And I couldn't help but have the yearn to make him feel the same things. I have no idea what he's thinking, no idea how he's feeling, he was like an unpredictable facade. It was frustrating.
I've noticed that when it comes to strangers, Lazarus is extremely closed off and unemotional, even when we first met he didn't really care. I can't blame him for being in extreme pain, but to see him like a completely different than how he is with me is...very eccentric.
Calling him Lazarus was itself more eccentric than I've ever thought.
And holy Jesus mother of Mary, Lazarus Rey was my mate.
Out of all the men to exist, he was destined to be with me.
How how how how-
Ugh, I have to stop again.
I wondered how much he had to go through to become like a rock, cold as stone, aresenic as the grey shade, always hard outside with his walls up, not letting anyone in, along with guarding himself with his many terrifying expressions and a hugely intimidating aura.
Along with that, just with the point of his finger at your face in an accusation can just trigger you so much that you'd want to surrender in a second, and it was...very scary to think about.
The hands which would wrap around the enemies throat and snap it in milliseconds would be those same hands that hugged me tightly to keep me safe.
Why the hell is it so difficult to digest everything?!
Diana Willows. Get a damn grip, he's just your mate.
A normal mate.
Superrrr super duper normal mate.
He's a very simple guy.
Sooo simple.
He's a normal farmer in the everyday life of Stormania who is not some blood sucking creature and is not ridiculously sexy all the time.
Yeah it's very normal for other women to have him as their mate. Super normal.
Hah.
Currently he was in the bathroom to get changed after a long day of talking and glaring at people for no reason, don't ask me why, but he did, as he already placed his crown in a protected safe, locked up away from anyone's reach or touch. I was waiting for him to depart that room so I could speak to him seriously, causing me to kick my legs in bed impatiently.
"Zari?" I called out aloud, waiting for a response from the other side, as he opened the door on my furthest left as soon as my voice broke the silence in the prevailing darkly illuminated bedroom, revealing his tall and luring figure with his hands located in his damp hair, letting me know he just took a bath.
He looked extremely mouth watering, as I tried to contain my hormones towards this seductive beast, before he makes me do sins of the night that would taint my dignity.
And his bare toned chest was not helping me. Sweet baby dinosaur have mercy.
"Yes love?" He asked while ruffling his hair, as his voice was laced with tiring havoc for some reason, and it was very nebulous to read him properly.
Even his alluring tired voice was not helping me.
What in the bloody hell are you doing to me Zari?
"Come here, please." I whispered softly, almost too softly for it too be audible to a regular human, patting the space beside me on the bed, as he happily obliged with a sudden sly grin by taking long strides towards the opposite side, throwing himself onto the bed and hovering over me shortly after shifting towards me.
Yayyy The King of infamous Stormania was smiling at me.
"Hmm?" His wet hair fanned his forehead, almost shading his eyelashes with perfection, as he automatically wrapped his arm around me waist firmly to pull me closer to him, waiting for me to talk.
Weeeeee Lazarus Rey is being all adorable in front of a potato like me in bed.
I didn't exactly respond to his hum because of being distracted by his honey pools, feeling my hand cup his chiseled stubble softly, making my thumb caress his prominent and sharp cheek bones, while his eyes looked at me with worry.
Woohoooooo my Zari is sooo very handsome like a cuddly bear-am I intoxicated? I am bewilderedly being stupid. Great.
"Is something wrong love?" He asked skeptically after looking at my tired expression, seeking a hopeful answer from my bitten lips, and I gave him none and just sighed deeply while closing my eyes momentarily as he leaned into my touch.
Ayeee his majesty is supposed to be sleeping with me from now on.
"What happened? You want to go to bed early tonight?" He cooed while playing with the ends my hair with his free hand, resting his whole figure on his elbow, as I shook my head with a small smile.
I. Need. A. New. Pair. Of. Eyes. I'm blind.
I just admired his whole beauty in awe, how he was created as a being, with total perfection and art, carved by the angels of heaven. The scar on his face just made him look even more dangerous, as my finger incoherently touched and grazed it from end to end, before it landed on his bottom lips and massaged it gently, making him part them in surprise after my actions.
Funny to think I'm stating the lord of hell to be carved by the Gods above. Hahahahaha so funny.
My thumb grazed his jaw gently next, stroking each and every corner of his masculine face, wanting to analyse every detail and print it into my mind, as his perfected pink plump lips turned into a frown and his thick eyebrows furrowed together.
"What's going on? You seem...very lost." He commented with a shrug, pulling me even closer under him to get my body heat mingled with his icy skin, as my hands never left his face, almost as if I was too afraid to let go and stop touching him.
You probably look like a freaking creep Diana, no shame.
He didn't do anything other than breathing from his lips, as he leaned into my caring touch while closing his eyes even more, and I moved my hips towards his own to get even more closer.
"You look exhausted." He muttered while opening his eyes to reveal his honey hazel eyes look down at me with curiosity and semi-worry, as I nodded in agreement with his words, making him clear his throat all of a sudden.
"Can you care to tell me what's on your mind? Your silence is torturing me love, I'm worried." He growled with a snarl on his face, and I clicked my lips to find his skin itch under my touch, before meeting his eyes and trapping them in a maze with my forest orbs.
"I'm just thinking, don't worry Zari, nothing is wrong." I assured motherly, taking one last look in his face before leaning in and kissing him in the cheek affectionately with no other thought, catching him completely off guard with my actions, as his arm around me tightened from the impact of the sparks and tingles erupting even more.
All I could think about is imagining him in a bad place to be upset or feeling unwanted by people, and it immediately boiled my blood with the mere thought of anyone trying to hurt him. It was so crazy to think a man I didn't even know for a long time would have an effect on a woman like me who normally wouldn't give a care to a squirrel, if just made him even more confusing.
I don't know why I was feeling this, I don't know anything at all. These urges, these tingles, these enamour moments, with the mirth birthing inside me whenever I'm near him. I don't know shit, I'm dumber than anyone in Stormania for once, I had no clue about romance even after reading about millions of books. Cynthia suggested that it was the effects of the mate bond, how it's doing it's job to bring us closer than ever before, but I seriously don't think it's the bond alone that was attracting me to him, nor do I think it is his seducing powers, because no matter wherever I go, I worry about his safety, and how much he's important to me in such a short amount of time.
Goddamnit.
Without any warning, I brought his face closer to my neck and it buried it there, causing myself to go red at my stupidity before realising the aftermath, making me arms wrap around his own in a hug to hide my embarrassment quickly, secretly hoping he doesn't cringe at my move, but he just knocked my walls down even more, as he tensed up from this for a few seconds, before growling in approval and breathing in my scent.
My fingers dug into his wet hair, feeling the droplets fall onto my fingers to wet them, as his lips grazed my mark in a torturous notion, making me go limp under him completely.
His arm left my waist and went around my right thigh, making my leg wrap around his toned torso, feeling each and every ounce of muscle touch my skin in a tease, as he pulled me even more closer from my bottom.
"You smell so good." He sighed against my exposed flesh, making my heart flutter from his words, before I smiled at the thought of me being engulfed in his cologne completely.
"I smell like you." I giggled while stating the obvious.
"Exactly." He growled satisfyingly, making me giggle again into his ear from his possessiveness.
"I had to tell you something actually." I suddenly whispered, making him retract his head from my exposed neck and look at me questioningly.
"Am I in trouble?" He quietly panicked, making me want to pull his cheeks at his adorableness because of how much he looked like a baby right about now.
Awww, Lazarus fucking Rey is scaaaared, my heart.
"Why would you be in trouble?" I chuckled.
"I don't know, you're not talking that much, you're behaving weirdly, and after the stunt I pulled I think it's pretty normal for you to be upset with me." He gulped nervously, making me look at him awe.
I can't believe the King of Vampires was afraid to be lectured by a mere meek human like me.
So cute can I just please squish your cheeks and claim you as my tree.
Thanks.
"Let me get one thing straight over here, I am not upset with you. I don't blame you for what you did, you had a good reason behind it. And what I had to tell you is about that," I sighed softly, feeling a little nervous about seeing him wait for me to continue as he listened to me intently with a serious expression, and I rubbed his earlobe for get rid of the tense look.
"I am tremendously and utterly sorry for what you've been through in your past. I...don't know how people, especially woman have treated you, but judging with the darkness lingering in your eyes ever since I met you and how your mother is always excited to have trusted female company around her, it is...heartbreaking to watch," I croaked out, forcing myself to not think or imagine any bad scenario associated with him, as his eyes immediately hardened at my words, and I intended to scratch his ear to make him hear me out.
"I can't reverse the past occurrences, but I can definitely shape what happens next. You testing me is a clear indication that you don't trust me enough, and I'm fine with that, I don't want you to trust me all of a sudden. I will earn your trust myself. But I just want you to know that no matter whatever happens, I'll always have a reason to never hurt or use you for my benefit, I can't stand to see you upset because of something I've caused, let alone anyone doing anything for that matter," I rolled my eyes, as he sucked in his lips and bit them, making it more difficult for me to continue.
"I won't let anyone harm you, I can't let anyone hurt you, not on my watch, never and no way am I letting anyone come near you to cause you damage. You've literally given me everything I could ask for, and...have always protected me during my worst times, even if I don't talk about it that much, you did save me countless times before disasters occurred, so I just ask this one favour from you, please give me a chance to take care of you. You don't deserve anything bad, you've proven to me that whatever people have talked about you was wrong, you are the total opposite of how they see you," I whispered while cupping his cheek again, as he took a deep breath and leaned into my palm, nuzzling his nose a little bit, making me stroke his bridge.
"You are...utterly amazing and worthy of all the good things life has to offer. You invited my family to make me feel better, you've made your parents proud by owning up your responsibilities, and you've done nothing more than make me feel like the happiest girl alive in the matter of a few weeks. I can't thank you enough for whatever you've done for me, I simply can't. You're just too...perfect," I gushed with a genuine smile, making him crack a boyish happy grin on his face, literally melted my heart into a liquid of bliss.
"I may not be the strongest person, not the smartest person you've ever met, but I'm not that blind to see your yearn to be babied and taken care of in your eyes. That's fine, I'll happily baby you to oblivion honestly. I saw how you looked at me once you descended those stairs, and trust me, I could read you like a book. So I promise you right this moment, that I will do whatever is in my power to take care of you, because you deserve each and every ounce of affection anyone can offer," I finally muttered, rested my forehead on his, seeing him gulp quietly with his Adam's apple bopping up and down, and I kissed his nose softly to comfort him.
"But at the same time, I have a mission believe it or not. And that is, to get rid of that darkness lingering in your eyes. No matter what, now you will always have me by your side, and to being a good mate, it is my job to make sure you're completely fine and healed," I said in a tone of a lecture, making him chuckle as I point my finger in the air with a serious expression.
"But your healing can only happen if you revisit your previous wounds and tend to them. And by that I mean, if you want to get rid of these trust issues and help me understand you more, then you have to man up and face your demons by telling me what happened with your ex-mate," I said cautiously, as his eyes widened in anger, but I immediately hooked my leg onto his figure firmly to pull him closer, as he breathed in my scent ever more to calm himself down.
"I'm not going to pressurise you into doing anything Zari, I would never. It is your decision and your privacy if you want to tell me about your past, I can't make that decision for you. It's not my place, but just know that I don't want you to be in the dark when you deserve the spotlight to outgrow your fears, you're so much more than what you think. And I really want to be that person who can help you get to that light, and I want you to allow me to help you. See me as a mud hole to talk to, see me as a therapy you never once received, see me as a friend alongside a mate who would always be there for you. Because I assure you, I'm not just going to be there for you in a romantic way, I will give you the whole package, which you deserve." I finished, taking a few deep breaths after my speech, waiting for him to respond as he just stared at me with calculating eyes, trying to digest everything I said.
I didn't expect for what he was about to do next, as he literally crashed our lips together in a perfect and passionate short kiss, sucking on the flesh to feel better after the whole emotional season, as he quickly pulled away and kissed my forehead shortly after.
"What happened to you Ms Willows? Why are you so...parent like all of a sudden?" He chuckled to lighten up the mood after my serious confession, making me groan as I rolled my eyes.
"I think it's safe to say I deserve an applaud for my speech right there Mr Rey." I huffed, making him snicker before he gave me a kiss to both my cheeks as an applaud, causing me to giggle in response.
"Oh trust me, you deserve so much more. And don't even think that you're not enough, you're the most intelligent and the most beautiful girl out there for me. How in the world was I lucky to have you as my mate love?" He sighed before showering my face with light kisses, before his fingers tickled my sides playfully to get rid of my tension almost instantly, making me laugh as I was cornered into the bed even more.
Pleaseeee don't blush.
"You speak way too highly of me Zari." I deadpanned sarcastically.
"How can I not? Have you seen yourself? Look at you Diana, you're...how the hell are you human?" He hissed while gritting his teeth, making me click my lips at the mentioning of my name with his alluring voice before I cupped both of his cheeks to squish them.
"And how is someone so adorable like you a Vampire King? Cause my my, I can't believe you're Lazarus Rey right now. Awlelele." I cooed shamelessly while pulling his cheeks, making him glare at me before his eyes turned red to showcase his beast, causing me to laugh while he plastered a smirk.
"Only for you love, only for you," He whispered while taking both my hands and caressing them like his treasure, before I hooked myself around his figure like a cocoon and pouted.
"I don't want you to worry, I'll tell you everything when the time comes okay?" He promised while kissing my knuckles, making my heart skip a beat as his hair fanned his forehead to shadow his sockets, before I intertwined our fingers and tugged them.
"I can't control the worry, it just comes whenever it pleases." I whined.
"Well then tell your cute little butt to not worry, I'm perfectly fine. You shouldn't be sorry for anything you haven't committed, in fact, why the hell are you even apologising to me?" He hung his head low in exaggeration.
"You should be honoured, I've never done this before." I looked away innocently.
"Trust me love, I started believing in God and the universe for creating someone like you and making you mate with me the second I saw you, and ever since then, I'm honoured every single minute." He admitted while rubbing our noses together.
"Stop." I deadpanned.
"Stop what?"
"This...whatever romance you are brewing. I'm starting to hate my species even more for calling you scarier than the demon under anyone's bed."
"That I surely am love, they're not wrong in a way."
"How? You're not at all scary."
"That's because I am not showing my beast out in the open. This is my human side, and I wouldn't want to worry your pretty face, nor do I want to terrify you."
"You can never terrify me."
"I might one day."
"Nope, you can't change my mind otherwise."
"And this is fucking why I need to protect you all the damn time, you're so precious, almost too precious." He growled while kissing my nose, causing me to close my eyes as he rested his face on mine before our lips were inches away from each other.
"I'm not."
"You are, and in this matter, you can't change my own mind love. If you are so willing to protect my being from getting hurt, then I'll have every chance I get in my life to make you feel like the queen you are."
And after that, he crashed his lips to mine, making me moan instantly before he entangled me in his euphorias embrace, while slumber began to crawl around the corner and consume both of us together.
What am I feeling?
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