Taking care of Jonah after he got drunk at parties is another hobby of mine. I would always take him to my house because he would get in so much trouble if his parents saw him like that.
I loved the fact that he was so dependent on me. Clinging to me like a child.
The night of the party, I took him to my house, I tucked him in. He slept like a baby, cuddled up in the blankets.
I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about what would happen now...
The kiss was going to change things permanently, two things would happen, Jonah and I's relationship would change for better or for worse.
Now that I had kissed him, I would always want it to happen again. He didn't seem so unattainable anymore.
Maybe there was a chance things could work out.
I was ready to give it all up, get over Jonah for good but then the kiss. This kiss threw every shred of self-control I had out the door. I was back to square one.
All night, all these thoughts kept me awake...
Why would Jonah kiss me?
I am not even half as pretty as Heather
What would change?
What would happen?
When morning came, I waited for Jonah to wake up.
I waited for him to tell me why kissed me.
But that never happened...
Jonah didn't remember the kiss, to him it was a drunken mistake, not worth remembering even though to me it meant so much more...
It hurt but then I was relieved because deep down I feared that if Jonah remembered the kiss, he wouldn't be able to look at me the same way.
I feared I would lose him.
I was wrong, even after our kiss, he was like the meteors I liked looking at... Not mine to hold. Jonah was still out of my grasp, it seemed he was way out of my reach. More now than ever.
🍂🍂
This hurts :/
Doesn't it?