|Chapter|31|Daddy|
Halos di ako makahinga ng marinig ko ang tanong niya, nangilid ang luha ko kaya agad akong napa-upo. Nilagay ko ang mga palad ko sa mukha ko habang patuloy ang paghikbi. Naramdaman ko ang pag-upo niya at ang maingat na paghagod niya sa likuran ko.
"Baby, w-what's wrong?" Halata ang kaba at pag-aalala sa tono niya. He just ask me to marry him, for goodness sake!
Umiling ako at inalis ang nakatakip kong kamay sa mukha ko at hinarap siya. Tinitigan ko ang mga mata niya, pilit na hinahanapan ng pwebang nagsisinungaling siya. "Aske me again." Lumunok ako. "Ask me again to marry you."
Hindi man nawala ang pangamba sa expresyon niya ay hindi rin naman nag-iba ang pagtingin niya sa akin, he look at me with so much adoration, love, patience and care, at natatakot akong baka guni-guni ko lang ito. Masuyo niyang hinawakan ang magkabilang pisnge ko.
"I know this is not the right time, I should have prepare something big, something unforgettable, but here I am proposing in your bed. I know I lied. And my reason is not a good excuse, and I will not get tired of saying sorry for what I did before. This is the second time that I proposed, right? I forced you to marry me before, but now I want to hear that you agree to marry me, to be my wife for this lifetime, to have family with me, and to love me of course." Binaba niya ang mga kamay niya at hinawakan ang mga kamay ko, hinalikan niya ang mga ito bago muling inangat ang paningin sa akin. "Beauty Lin Ashley, will you marry this man who used to make you cry? Who used to hurt you and make you suffer over and over again? Will you let this man be your husband, and prove you that He really loves you for real?"
His eyes were shinning na para bang ilang minuto nalang ay babagsak na ang nga luha niya, unlike him, I let my tears fall as I Move my head upside down. "Yes of course."
Napatigil pa siya at bumuga ng hangin na para bang kanina pa niya pinigilan na huminga, He smiled widely as he pull me closer for a hug, he kissed my hair, and then my temple for how many times. Natawa nalang ako kahit na umiiyak.
"Thank God..." sabi niya at ilang minuto lang ay mas humigpit pa ang yakap niya sa akin habang gumagalaw na ang mga balikat niya, his face is now burried on my shoulder, kaya naman alam ko ng umiiyak siya ng maramdaman ko ang pamamasa ng aking suot na damit. "Thank you for giving me chance... again." Umiiyak niyang sabi.
I am overwhelmed. Kahit kailan di ko inakalang iiyak siya dahil sa akin, Kaya naman di ko napigilang mas mapaluha pa. "I'll give you all the chances I got, Rogue. Hanggang sa mahalin mo na ako ng totoo at hindi mo na ako lolokohin."
Umiling siya habang nasa ganoon paring posisyon. "I love you for real even before, I love you and I never lied about it." He said between his sobs.
Natawa ako. "Tama na nga ang pag-iyak!" Biro ko at inilayo ang katawan sa kaniya, nakayuko parin siya ng magkahiwalay na kami kaya naman ikinulong ko ang pisnge niya gamit ang mga kamay ko at inagat ito, I know he is crying but seeing his tears falling from his eyes still makes me shock, I smiled sweetly as I shed his tears away, I stared at his eyes for a couple of seconds before kissing him, he responded immediately and grab my waist to pull me closer to him. I encircled my arms around his neck as Our kiss grews deeper. "I love you." I whispered.
He stopped kissing me and look at my face with astounded look on his face, I chuckled at his reaction and gave him a peck on his lips. "You stole my line." He said under his breath and shook his head with a smile. "I didn't know it would feel this way. Damn." Nasapo niya ang kaniyang dibdib. "My heart beats so fast that it hurts."
I smiled at his reaction. He look at me with so much tenderness as he cupped my face. "I Love you more, till infinity ends."
Napa-irap ako at pabiro siyang kinurot. "Infinity never ends, Rogue."
He chuckled and god knows how my heart reacts wildy because of that. "That's why, My love for you will never end, baby."
My heart feels warm by those words, I lay on my bed again with a smile, he followed what I did. My smiled slowly faded when I remember someone, Pailalim kong tiningnan ang mukha ni Rogue at napansin naman niya ito, he smiled at me and pull me closer to him again, I whole heartedly hugged him back.
"Rogue?"
"Hmm? Yes baby..." he said while caressing my shoulder using his thumb.
"Dyesebel Sereyna Ashley." His finger moves slower this time.
"Who is she?" He ask, his voice were filled so much curiosity but there's also an excitement.
"She's my... my daughter." I said in a low voice.
Tumigil siya sa paghaplos sa balikat ko, at ng tumingala ako sa kaniya ay hindi na ako nagulat ng makita ko ang reaksyong inaasahan ko sa kaniya.
"I-is s-she... m-mine t-too?" Nanginginig niyang sabi.
I pull myself together and smile at him while nodding slowly. Bumuka ang bibig niya at tinikom niya ulit. Huminga ako ng malalim, at hinawakan ang kamay niya. "She got a heart disease. "
His eyes immediately saddened. "T-tell me more a-about her, please."
Biglang kumirot ang puso ko. "You don't have to beg, she's your daughter too, and you have the rights to know." I gently said. "Coronary heart disease. She suffers that disease since she was four, At dahil sa sakit niya hindi ko siya masyadong pinapasalamuha sa ibang tao, strong emotions are not good for her, she never complained. She's smart, Kind, and spoiled. She loves chocolates kahit pa bawal sa kaniya, she love mermaids."
Nakatingin lang sa akin si Rogue, halatang aliw na aliw sa mga sinasabi ko, I can see how he wanted to know more, and I know I would hurt him.
"But everytime I mention about her father." I stopped and observe his face for a moment. "Inaatake siya." He look pained. Pinisil ko ang kamal niya. "But don't worry, she loves you so much-"
"But if Its a big risk-"
"Hey." I cut him off. "Dont worry, it will be fine, ok?" I said trying to get him from his negative thoughts.
Kahit na ako alam kong napakalaki ng risk ng gusto kong mangyari, But when I saw His reaction when I told him she is his, I know that I made a huge mistake before. Ang maging duwag noon, ang pilit na ilayo si Rogue at dyesebel sa isa-isa, at ang pagduduhan ang pagmamahal ni Rogue para sa akin.
That's why I want to make it up to him and to Dyesebel. Ako ang naging hadlang sa kanilang mag-ama, ako ang naging kontra-bida, ang naging masama, kaya dapat lang na itama ko ito. I just hope that my daughter's heart will be on my side this time, sana lang wag siyang atakihin, sana makisama sa akin ang puso niya, sana.
"We're here." Sabi ko ng maharap ko na si Rogue.
He nervously breath in and out, bumaba ang tingin niya sa hawak na hello kitty stuffed toy. "Is this... fine? Sa tingin mo magugustuhan niya ito? O baka naman sobrang liit-"
"Mas malaki pa nga ang laruang ito kay dyesebel eh!" Natatawa kong sabi. "Don't worry ok? Dyesebel is not a materialistic girl, at isa pa may dala kang chocolates, that would be enough." Pinagsiklop ko ang aming mga daliri. "Kasama ko pa ang ama niya, that's more than enough."
I gave him a reassuring smile and he nervously smile back, I gave him a peck hoping it would help, at ng ilalayo ko na sana ang mukha ko ay hinapit niya ang beywang ko at binigyan ako ng mas malalim na halik.
"Did you put some drug on your lips?" He ask while still kissing me.
"No, Why?"
"Its addictive." He huskily said.
I chuckled. Hinayaan ko siyang halikan ako hanggat sa gusto niya, I know he is nervous I can feel it, he is nervous to see our daughter and to what will happen next, ganoon din naman ako. Nauna akong pumasok sa loob, iniwan ko muna si Rogue sa labas para makahinga siya ng maluwag.
"Baby.." I called Dyesebel.
She immediately turn her head at me with a smile. "Mommy!" She glady shouted and spread her arms waiting for me to hug her.
Agad ko siyang niyakap ng makalapit ako. "How's my baby?" I ask after giving her a kiss on her cheek.
"Not fine, cause your not here yesterday, are you mad mom?"
I smiled as I shake my head. "Mommy got a surprise for you."
Her dreamy eyes lightens. "Really? Well, I got one too for you!"
"What is it?"
She grin and clap her hands thrice, nasa likuran ko ang mga mata niya kaya napatingin ako sa likod ko, agad akong nakaramdam ng panic ng makita si Paul na may malawak na ngiti habang may hawak hawak na malaking boquet. Hindi ako nakagalaw sa kinatatayuan ko kaya hindi rin ako naka-iwas ng halikan niya ako sa pisnge.
"Shock?" Natatawa niyang sabi at inilahad sa akin ang boquet. "For you." Nakangiti niyang sabi.
Napalunok ako at tinanggap ang kaniyang bulaklak. "Y-you came from the Comfort Room-"
"Yeah, I hid there so that you'll be surprised." May kakaibang kislap ang mga mata niya na sobrang pamilyar sa akin, and I dont like it. "I want to ask you something-"
Mabilis kong hinarap ang anak ko. "Dyesebel do you want to see my surprise?" I cut him off. Im sorry paul.
"Yes!" Excited niyang sabi at pumalakpak pa.
Medyo nawala ang kaba ko ng makitang masaya ang anak ko, pero alam kong bawal ang sobrang saya para sa kaniya, nilagay ko ang hawak kong bulaklak sa tabi ng kama at hinawakan ang magkabilang pisnge ng anak ko. "Calm your heart, please."
Nawala ang ngiti ni dyesebel at ang expresyon niya ay napalitan ng kakaibang emosyon, she looks like Rogue when I told him about Dyesebel earlier. Magkamukha nga talaga sila. I kissed her forehead before turning to paul with an apologetic look. He seems to get what I mean, iniwas niya ang paningin niya sa akin at pumunta sa sofa para umupo, hindi parin siya makatingin sa akin. Im sorry.
Nginitian ko ulit si dyesebel saka tumayo para buksan ang pinto. Nangunot ang noo ko ng wala akong makitang Rogue sa paligid, agad akong ginapang ng kaba ng mapadpad ang paningin ko sa stuff toy na nasa sahig, sa gilid ng pintong binuksan ko. Mabilis ko itong pinulot at hindi na nagdalawang isip na tumakbo palabas ng hospital.
"Rogue!" Sigaw ko sa lalaking papasok na sana sa kaniyang kotse.
Huminto siya sa akmang gagawin,pero hindi parin ako nililingon. "It would be rude if I interrupt. "
Umiling ako. "Kung ano man ang nakita mo, it's not what it means, come on, hinihintay ka na ng anak natin." I convinced.
Huminga siya ng malalim at isinara muli ang pinto ng kotse at hinarap akong magkasalubong ang kilay, binalewala ko ang pagkahingal ko at humakbang nalang palapit sa kaniya.
"Why are you still close with paul?"
He was there when you left me broken. "He's my friend, my only friend." Inabot ko ang kamay ko sa kaniya.
"Friend? He is giving you flowers and even kissed you, then a friend?"
I sigh. "Look, there's nothing going on between me and Paul, he's been a good friend for me ever since, even though I always cause him pain he stayed." I saw how guilt flashes through his eyes, hinawakan ko ang kamay niya at pinisil ito. "And besides, mahal kita diba? Ikaw ang mahal ko at hindi siya."
Just like earlier he stunned. "You should warn me if you say those words, I might have a heart attack. " he said while still having his shock look.
I just chuckled and pull him to walk. Kinabahan ulit si Rogue ng makarating kami sa floor ng kwarto ng anak namin, pero hindi ko na siya hinayaang paunahin ako, hinila ko siya papasok ng kwarto. Naglalaro si Dyesebel ng laruan niyang barbie doll ng makapasok kami. Unti-unti kong binitawan ang kamay ni Rogue, hindi na ako nagsalita o tinawag man lang si Dyesebel, I'll let them both have their moment. Sinulyapan ko ang sofa kung saan naka-upo si Paul kanina, pero wala na siya doon.
Ng tingnan ko si Rogue ay bahagyang nakaawang bibig niya at namumula ang tenga habang nakatingin sa anak naming nasa hawak na manika ang atensyon. Nakatitig lang siya kay Dyesebel at panay ang lunok.
"D-dyesebel.." he called.
Napatigil ang anak ko sa ginagawa at bumaling sa amin, her eyes widened when she saw Rogue. "Daddy?!" Gulat na sigaw ni dyesebel na nagpakunot ng noo ko.
"H-hey... mermaid." Nauutal na sabi ni Rogue habang naglalakad palapit kay dyesebel.
"Daddy, what are you doing here? At kasama mo si mommy? Are you two friends?" Sunod-sunod na tanong ni dysebel na mas nagpagulo sa akin.
They knew each other?
Hindi nagsalita si Rogue bagkus ay niyakap niya si Dyesebel at panay ang halik sa ulo neto. "Your my Dyesebel..." tila hindi makapaniwalang sabi pa ni Rogue.
"How did you know my name?" Naguguluhang tanong ni Dyesebel.
Humiwalay sa yakap si Rogue sa kaniya at tinitigan ang mukha neto. "I'm your daddy."
Nagsalubong ang kilay ni Dyesebel. "Oo nga, ikaw ang daddy ko. Pero sabi ni mommy dumating na daw ang totoo kong daddy, pero gusto parin kitang maging daddy."
Rogue smiled at her and cupped her face. "I can be both."
"Y-you mean-"
"Yes anak, ako ang totoo mong daddy." Naluluhang sabi ni Rogue.
Agad na nangilid ang luha ng anak ko at sumimangot ito. "Ayaw na pala kitang maging daddy!" Sigaw niya.
Gusto kong awatin ang anak ko dahila alam kong nasasaktan si Rogue pero sinenyasan ako ni Rogue na sya na ang bahala.
"Anak, listen to daddy, I know Your mad at me, sinabi mo pa nga sa akin noon na gusto mong ipaghigante ang mommy mo diba? But baby, mahal na mahal ko kayo pareho ng mommy mo, I didn't mean to leave you both."
"No! Sinaktan mo si mommy! Iniwan mo kami!" Galit na sabi ni Dyesebel at pinaghahampas si Rogue sa dibdib.
"Anak.." di ko napigilan ang sarili at lumapit na sa kanilang dalawa, Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya at hinalikan ang mga ito. "Daddy loves you, Mommy loves you too, ayaw mo ba ng complete family?"
She keeps on sobbing while looking at me wearily. "But he made you cry countless times. Sabi ni Tito Grey that daddy left us both because he wanted to protect us, but I don't believe him, he could protect us without leaving! He could protect us without making you cry mommy!"
"Anak-" Napatingin kaming tatlo sa pinto ng bigla itong bumukas.
"Beauty!" Hinihingal na saad ni kuya. "Open the tv now!" Utos niya na agad ko namang sinunod.
Agad na lumipad ang mga kamay ko sa aking bibig. "N-no... no,no,no,no.. no... p-papa.."
Itutuloy pa...