Thankfully, I don't think my mum and Mike are home. The car wasn't in the driveway, so maybe Tessa let them borrow it for the day.
"Tess?" I call out to the empty house, but get no response. I smell food being made, so maybe she's in the kitchen. If she's ignoring me, that is not a good start.
I walk into the kitchen and see her stirring something in a pot. She is humming along to a song that she's listening to on her headphones. She is shaking her hips and swaying from side to side as she hums along to whatever the fuck she's listening to. It's adorable, and I stay back for a few more seconds to appreciate her body and how it moves. She then moves to the counter next to the stove and begins chopping some green vegetable.
'Come on, Hardin. Stop being fucking creepy and go over there.' I think to myself.
I walk over, and awkwardly tap her shoulder. She turns around quickly, and screams with the knife still in her hand.
"Jesus! You almost killed me!" I jump out of the way.
"Oh my god! Hardin! Why would you sneak up on me while I have a knife!" She immediately drops it on the table and holds her chest.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."
"When did you get home?" She places her phone and headphones down on the counter.
"Just a minute ago."
"Oh... well your mom and Mike are out and about in the city, but it's supposed to storm soon, so I let them use the car just incase they get caught in the rain. I'm just making dinner for tomorrow."
Weird. Things don't seem awkward between us.
"Okay. Do you... um... do you need help with anything?"
She shakes her head, and turns back around. In the corner of my eye, I notice something reflecting off the sunlight: Tessa's engagement ring. She took it off?
"Um... you, uh... took your ring off?" I ask quietly.
"Oh yeah, I was making meatballs for the spaghetti, so I had meat all over my hands." She tells me, and I let out a big breath that I hope she didn't hear. "But here." She grabs it off the counter and hands it to me.
"Why are you giving it to me?"
"Because I was serious, Hardin. I'm not marrying you until you tell me what's going on." She continues to stir whatever fucking concoction she is making in that pot.
"Okay."
She turns back towards me. "Okay?"
"Yes. I'll tell you. I don't... I don't want to lose you." Fuck, don't get emotional. Or should I? Maybe getting emotional will help soften the blow to Tessa.
Faster than I've ever seen her move, she drops the wooden spoon on the counter and pulls me into the main room. We sit on the couch, and she nods for me to begin. "Okay, go."
"Before I say anything, I just want you to know that I didn't say anything to Lucy with the intentions of hurting you, or betraying you. I just needed someone to talk to that wasn't Landon, and I just didn't want to hurt your feelings with my thoughts."
"You know I always want you to be honest. I would rather that than you lying and torturing yourself."
"I don't know... you're just gonna think I'm awful or something."
Tessa's mouth immediately sets into a frown. "You've been saying it's not bad..."
"It's not! Really, it's not... in my opinion."
"So just say it then, please." She pleads with me, and I know now I can't delay this any longer.
"Okay."
This is it. Here I fucking go.
"Pretty much I told her about my frustration with the whole... you refusing to marry me thing. I said how I was upset by the fact that you didn't want to marry me."
"So you were frustrated about that... You told me that it was okay, that we didn't need to get married."
"I know, I just know how much you didn't want it, so I didn't push you. I'll have you any way I can take you, so if that meant just in a non-married relationship, than I guess that was the way it was gonna have to be."
"Okay... I understand that. What else? What about my pregnancies?"
"I..." I know this is gonna hurt her to say this. "I was losing hope in us ever having a child."
"I feared you were."
"I know... I'm sorry. I didn't want to pressure you with something that you can't really control. I could've never told you to your face that I didn't believe in you when I know you didn't even believe in yourself."
"Hardin..." She starts to say, and I am scared of what's gonna come out of her mouth. I don't want her to call off this wedding.
"I'm really sorry that I have been lying all of this time, but I swear I never once wanted to leave you. I love you, marriage and baby or not. I want to marry you, so fucking much, and I was scared that you would resent me if I told you what I was really feeling, but I won't do that anymore. I won't keep my true feelings from you anymore, I promise. Just please-" I feel tears stream down my cheeks and she grabs my face, and kisses it. My body relaxes as her lips continuing to mesh with mine. She pulls away, and stares into my eyes.
"I understand why you did it. Honestly, at those points of my life, I don't think I would've been able to handle you telling me that you lost faith in me, but I wish you did tell me about being mad about marriage... and while we're on the subject of telling the truth..."
Oh no.
"I had this dream last night about you and Lucy, and she said something that I know you'll never admit is true, but it has to be."
"What is it?" What the fuck did this dream Lucy tell Tessa?
"She said how you don't really want to be with me, you-"
"What! Tessa, that's not fucking true! I-"
"Let me finish, she said that you don't really want to be with me... the me that was refusing marriage and unable to get pregnant. And I think that's true."
"Tess, I literally just told you that I never once thought about leaving you. How can you think-"
"You want to be with the idea of me. You don't actually want to be with me." She interrupts me again. "The girl you wanted to be with wants marriage and can have kids, and that wasn't me..."
"That's not true." I grab her wrists when she begins nervously tapping her fingers on her thigh again.
"It must be. It doesn't make sense how you could want me when I couldn't give you what you wanted."
"Baby." I cradle her body in my arms when I notice her starting to get emotional. "I only want those things because of you. I wouldn't want children or marriage with anyone else. It's only you, always."
"Really?" She perks up, a small smile playing on her face.
"Yes, really."
She smiles, pulling out of my grip and wiping under her eyes.
"So are we good?" I ask desperately.
"Yeah, we're good." She leans in slowly, but I cannot wait. I pull her close and crash her lips against mine. I can taste tomato sauce on her tongue from the sauce she's making. Her hands are grabbing at my hair pulling gently while my hands are grasping her waist tightly, leaving marks in their wake.
"Ouch." I wince when she accidentally leans into my incision. She immediately jumps back.
"Oh no, I'm sorry!" She places her hands on my shoulder. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I just don't think we can get too frisky for a couple days." Goddamn it. That's the worst fucking part of all of this.
"Can I see it?" She asks, and I lift up my sweatshirt. She runs her fingers around it very softly, so it doesn't hurt too bad. The comfort of her touch overpowers the pain.
"The doctor gave me instructions for recovery. It's like a fucking novel." I reach into my back pocket and pull out the full page of orders.
"I'll take that, thank you." She rips it out of my hand, and begins reading it.
"Wash incision, apply ointment every two hours, sleep on back, no lifting heavy object for three days." She continues to list off everything. Even though I have read everything, I don't stop her. I love the sound of her voice, it's music to my ears.
"Well, I'll go dampen a washcloth and get the ointment for you. Stay here." She leans over and kisses my cheek before rushing to the kitchen to get a washcloth.
"Wait, Tess! I actually have one more thing I need to tell you." Josie. I completely forgot about Josie. She has to know about that.
"Shit! Hardin!" Tessa screams, and I'm on my feet in seconds. I rush to the kitchen, expecting to find Tessa on the floor or something, but instead, our kitchen is on fire.