~This Chapter contains SMUT! BE WARNED AND BE PREPARED! Please be mature and don't read if not comfortable! Thank you!~
Katniss's P.O.V.
I felt relieved after washing myself in the morning, untangling the forever mess of knots that had weaved their way into my hair. A fresh pair of clothes turned out to be exactly what I needed, and as I re-assembled a braid into my hair, I felt my mood and confidence levels boost.
I had no intentions of going to work, working on school. It was then that I realized that all I really wanted was Peeta. He could satisfy all my needs; calm me down, cheer me up, get me through anything. I had said it a thousand times already, but he was the definition of perfection.
But I did go to work, and the diner waited for me in all its glory. I was too grateful that I only had a half an hour shift that day; the night before held that painful reminder that kept popping back into my head. And it hurt knowing that I had failed my sisters; I was no more than a disgrace to my family.
"Glad to see you're your usual, cheery self this morning." Leave it Johanna to start things off rocky.
"Couldn't be better," I said sarcastically, plastering an unreadable smile on my face. I held it for so long my cheeks flushed and my jaw muscles tightened. When Johanna turned away rolling her eyes, I slowly massaged the life back into my face.
Despite my mood and the destruction I'd been through in the last twenty four hours, I worked shit at the diner. I made the best of it, but I refused to speak or make eye contact with anyone else. Except for at the unnecessary glances Johanna would steal at my wavering form, winking at me with her distinguished smirk.
So when my shift was finally over, I changed and went outside as fast as my sore, stiff legs permitted. I even forgot to say goodbye to Johanna. As I drove home, my anxiety levels increased. I was scared of facing my parents and sisters. The last time I saw them, things got out of control, I lied, ran away, and when I returned, I yelled some more.
At least Peeta and Finnick don't know, I thought grimly. For now.
I pulled up in front of the house and sat in my car for a minute before entering. I didn't want to face them, but it was no use putting it off.
I unlocked the front door and walked in, keeping my head down.
I saw my mother and Liam sitting on the couch, who stopped talking quite abruptly when I entered. My mother didn't even bother giving me a fake smile and simper, so I continued past them. It was then I noticed that Prim and Annie's door was shut, and low voices seeped through the crack of the door.
I bowed my head in shame and continued to my room,where the scent of Peeta was overpowering. It brought back memories of last night and our sweet, sweet love. If only I could return to those times.
I flopped down onto my bed and tried not to think about what I had to do next. Facing my sisters would be unbearable.
As I lay there, wallowing in my sadness and self-pity, a gentle knock sounded at the door. I sat upright and walked across my room and opened the door.
"Hey, Kat," Peeta said. "We have some ideas of what we're gonna do and it involves hedgehogs."
I took several steps back and asked, "What?!"
"It's a Surprise," he said airily. "Now come on!'
Rather bewildered and confused as to where we were going and why, I followed him outside and into his Toyota.
I crawled into the backseat and suddenly-
"OUCH!' Prim shrieked.
"Oh my god!" I exclaimed and quickly backed out of the car. "I'm so sorry, Prim!"
"No no, it's fine!" she said, still a little alarmed.
"Guess I'll go on the other side then so I don't sit on you again," I said jokingly. Prim laughed, but it quickly vanished. Then I remembered.
I climbed into the other side of the car and sat there, awkwardly while I waited for Peeta. He sure was taking his long-ass time.
Then, it hit me.
He was taking his time on purpose, to give Prim and I a chance to talk it out. He thought of everything and it touched me, yet I still was not prepared to talk to her. I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye and saw her face, which was somber, with a trace of sadness and mistrust.
I cleared my throat and said, "Hey, Prim?"
"Yes?" she said, avoiding eye contact.
"I just wanted to say... how sorry I am for... everything," I began lamely. "I shouldn't have lied upright about Buttercup. I was under a lot of pressure and I really didn't want to hurt you so I tried to put it off, but only ended up hurting you more. That's no excuse, but I just wanted to explain why I would lie to you. I'm also really sorry that I... yelled at Mother and Liam in front of you like that. I lost control there and I'm sorry you had to see that."
There was a brief silence, followed by Prim's soft voice. "It's okay. I forgive you. I might have honestly done the same thing."
I smiled and said, "Thank you." I paused. "And I'm sorry again about Buttercup."
Prim laughed. "It's okay. He lived a very long life." There was a mischievous glint and her eyes and I wanted to tease her, but felt that it would be best to take things slowly.
Just then, the car door was pulled open and Peeta hopped into the driver's seat. "Ready?" he asked, looking at me.
"Yes," I replied. "Thank you," I added in a softer tone.
He smiled and said, "Let's go!"
"Hold up," I said, frowning. "Where are you taking me?"
Prim glanced at Peeta, hardly containing her grin. "Can I tell her?" she whispered, none too softly.
"Sure," he replied, laughing, as he started the car. "Why not?"
"So," Prim began excitedly. "We thought, that since Buttercup died-"
"Oh no," I groaned. "We're getting another cat."
"Nope!" Prim said, grinning. "A hedgehog."
"A what?"
"A hedgehog!" Peeta repeated. "They're supposed to be really easy to care for, cuddly, sweet, and adorable!"
I leaned back in my car seat, eyes wide. "Oh my god. Don't expect me to pay for any of its hedgehog... things. Or take care of it."
"Don't worry," Peeta assured me. "I'll do it."
"If it dies, it's on you," I warned. "I'll have nothing to do with it."
"Okay, okay," Prim said, rolling her eyes. "We were also thinking about getting a dog."
"No-" I began, only to be cut off by Peeta.
"Awww, Katniss!" he said. "Don't be such a bad sport. Having pets will be fun!"
"Yes," I said sarcastically. "I absolutely adore cleaning up poop."
Although getting a pet would certainly cost time and money, I could not get past how adorable Peeta and Prim were being. They kept sharing name ideas ("I think we should name it Buttercup Jr!"), then excitedly chatting about where they would put the cage ("On Katniss's bed!"). I couldn't help but smile.
When we finally arrived, Prim bounded out of her seat and dashed into the animal shelter, Peeta close behind her.
I followed suit, somewhat apprehensive, but still followed anyway.
As soon as Peeta opened the door, we were greeted by a loud chorus of barking, mewling, and general chaos.
"Hey there!" a friendly voice called. "Are you..." she glanced down at a computer, "Rowan Smith?"
"That's me," he replied.
"Great!" she said. "I'm Jennifer Lawrence, but you can call me Jen."
"Thanks, Jen," Peeta said, smiling. And then, after completing a few forms, they were off.
I think we spent about an hour and a half there. It was mostly Peeta and Prim excitedly talking and cuddling the animals, while I sat on one of the benches, smiling slightly. There was an older, bigger dog named Roody that followed me around everywhere and sat down on the floor, next to the bench. He was quite calm, and his mere presence brought me relaxation. I knew it would be difficult for us to adopt him, but I liked him nonetheless.
The bench was positioned at an angle in the middle of the shelter, surrounded by shelves, wandering animals, and other benches oddly scattered about. The shelves were freshly stocked with animal keepsakes, and the longer I stared, the harder it became for me to give in to Prim's squeals of excitement. At the same time, I knew it was the least I could do.
Roody stayed by my side as I wandered the shelter. Begging for attention, giving me the puppy dog eyes that I couldn't resist.
"She's adorable!" Prim was a few feet away, lifting a tiny hedgehog out of a kennel. "This is the one." She looked to Peeta, and he smiled his perfect, sweet smile.
The response came from Jen. "Great choice." Grabbing the hedgehogs kennel off the shelf, she led the way back to the front, Prim cradling her new pet in her arms like a baby. I had to admit, it was pretty adorable. When I glanced their way, it flashed the most precious brown eyes back.
Jen sat behind the register, hands clasped for a second, looking at my sister. I did my best to remove myself from Roody, but he seemed to be glued to my side as I made my way to them. "Who's that?" my sister asked when I materialized by her side.
"That's Roody," Jen said before I could answer. She stole a little glance then took away at the computer, her nails tapping on the keys. With one last click, Jen stood from her chair, hands on the table, until a beeping sound ushered her to a far off corner.
In my peripheral vision, Jen's form removed a stack of fresh papers from a small, blue printer, and when she took all the papers away, the beeping stopped. As she made her way back over to Peeta and Prim, the bolded lettering on the top of the first page caught my eye. In a deep, black ink, Adoption Papers was scrawled across the top.
Jen resumed the conversation about Roody like no seconds had passed.
"He's pretty old, been here for a while." She stopped, separated a few of the papers into little piles, then continued. "No one wants him anymore. They say he's too old to do his job."
"What's his job?" Prim interrupted.
"Ever since he was little, he's been certified as a special needs dog for mental health." Prim was gripping the hedgehog tighter now, like she was invested in some horror story. I can't lie- I was pretty interested in learning about Roody myself.
Sitting down in her chair again, Jen looked into my eyes, then down at the dog that hadn't moved from his spot next to my leg. She smiled, and finished the story. "His owners abandoned him because he wasn't providing the so-called support he was there for. He was there to prevent the mental health issues, but one of his owners ended up giving in anyway."
Suicide, I thought. My hand gripped the arm that I had a knife to just the other day. The cuts were still wrapped; hidden from anyone who bothered to ask a question. I looked down at the dog.
The hustle and bustle of the excited children and families in the adoption shelter slowly silenced my thoughts. "Pe- Rowan?" I whispered. He glanced my way and grabbed his hand. Roody followed.
"Can we take him home?" He glanced up at me, shocked.
"Really?" Peeta asked.
"Please?" He sent a questioning look my way, then it softened to a smile.
"I knew you'd give in."
"I can't get him off me anyway," I joked. But that wasn't one of the reasons I wanted to bring him home.
"Alrighty," Jen said when we got back. The papers were now neatly set out across the counter, and Prim was already looking through them. "You guys are going to need to sign these." Her hand swept over the endless amount of papers.
Jen handed a pen to Peeta and Prim, and they wasted no time in signing the papers. "And her legal guardian is going to need to sign this last page," she said as Peeta finished his last signature.
It took me a second to realize that that was me. No matter what my mother wanted right now, I was still her guardian. Peeta handed me his pen and I filled in the empty spots.
"Let's go buy her food and toys," Prim said as soon as I was done.
"Wait? What's her name?"
"Almond," she said without hesitating. "It was on her tag and I like the name." I smiled. "Come on!" She grabbed Peeta's hand, still holding her new pet.
Once they were gone, I turned back to Jen. "Do you mind printing another stack of those papers?" With a final click of her stapler, she looked up.
"What?"
"I think it's time Roody has a new home." A smile grew on my face as I said it, and confirmation glowed in the dog's eyes, along with excitement.
"You sure?" She asked, but she was already printing the new stack of papers for me to sign.
"One hundred percent." The stack of papers came out of the printer warm and delicate, and the light ink from the pen threatened to smear as I signed the different pages.
She stapled the signed papers together right as Prim and Peeta came back, arms full of.... well a lot of things. One shift of his arm and the several contents spilled to the floor. It was some form of a miracle that nothing broke open and spilled. One of the toys hit the ground with an ear splitting squeak, perking up Roody's ears and causing Almond to tuck into a ball and squeal.
The sudden ruckus caused my head to pound. Prim handed a scared Almond to Jen, who set her in a crate, shutting the door with a faint click. "Shit, sorry," Peeta mumbled.
It didn't take long to pick everything up, and in no time Peeta had a receipt in his hand for the hedgehog and her things. Prim held the crate and Peeta managed three full plastic bags in each hand. They had gotten plenty of food and toys for a lifetime, I was sure of it.
"Alright. Let me go over care with you guys." She grabbed a new pack of papers. Then her eyes traveled to me. "Why don't you go get his things while we talk?" I nodded, Peeta smiled, and Prim looked a little confused.
"Would you mind if you could write down any ways to get him certified or how to do that type of thing?"
"Oh, of course," she said, beaming. She dug through her desk drawer and pulled out a paper. She wrote down a few names and some websites. I smiled and thanked her.
"Hurry up Katniss!" Prim called.
"Coming, coming!"
The ride back was quite loud and entertaining. Roody kept barking every time every time we passed another dog, but apart from that, he was quite chill. Almond made several consecutive escape attempts from the little cardboard box Prim held him in, but never quite managed to get free. So it was a relief when we got home, set up the cage, and put Roody outside.
"Whew," I said, two hours later. "That was a lot of effort. This is why I don't want pets."
"You asked for Roody," Peeta reminded me.
"Shush!" I said, placing a finger to his lips. He laughed but didn't elaborate.
Finally, Prim entered the room, cuddling Almond. "So I've been reading a lot on hedgehog care. It's actually a bit complicated, but I think i can handle it. We need to feed it, give it fresh water, and check the temperature of its cage daily."
"That's a lot of responsibility," I commented. "But I think you can do it."
Prim grinned. "Wanna know the best part?"
"What?"
"Almond requires twenty minutes of cuddling and playtime every day!" Prim said happily. Peeta laughed and I shook my head.
But I couldn't contain my smile.
---
It had been about a week since we had gotten pets. They had been a new source of happiness and joy for the girls and Peeta, but a source of stress for my mother and Liam. She was still fuming about how I signed as Prim's legal guardian the other day, and I told her it was true. She can't just appear out of nowhere and expect to automatically become Prim's mother. Every day, I've tried to distance Prim and Annie from my mother and Liam, but it is apparent that my mother is doing the same thing, only the opposite. Forget taking Prim to dance class, now she's trying to take them on day trips without me, saying that it will be good to "give your sister a break from all the hard work she's been doing." It's either that, or she's shut up in the guest room, likely plotting some evil separation plan with Liam.
Even in the midst of that however, I've found light. Peeta and I have retreated up to the roof nearly every night now, where we talk, laugh, kiss, and generally enjoy each other's company. A few months ago I would have chastised myself for even thinking that way about him. But now, I can't stop myself from full-on kissing him every night. There is a strain though. We both know that this won't last. He's going to be gone by January, and then he'll be living his star life and being chased around by drooling girls every day.
On one of our rooftop nights, be brought up the idea of a party. "I think Johanna is throwing a little party with some old school friends," he told me one night.
"Really?" I asked, not really interested.
"Yeah," he said. "Don't you think that it would be fun? We'd get to see some of your old friends and we'd get to chill. A much-deserved night out for us," he added, smiling.
I smiled, but didn't automatically reply. I took a breath before saying, "I don't... really like my old school friends very much. Sometimes I just want to forget them cause we went through some... bad times. High school was rough."
Peeta hugged me tighter. "I know, but I bet that many of those people you didn't like are entirely different now. And, Johanna is going to be there. And I will be there. And if you don't like it, we can be anti-social and chill out in the corner and hide and make out and sell slurpees."
I smiled into his arms, sensing that this was something he wanted to go to. "Fine," I said at last. "Fine fine fine."
Peeta grinned and kissed me. We melted together and the rest of the night became a mixed blur that I soon got lost in.
*****
Peeta Mellark's Point of View
"Roody!" Katniss yelped, and grabbed his collar. "Calm down!"
But Roody continued to launch himself at Liam, barking and growling. Liam wasn't helping at all. He was yelling at Roody and trying to kick him out of the house, while shouting that Roody should be put down because he was an "out of control monster."
"ROODY!" Katniss shrieked, tugging harder. "Come on outside! We're going for a walk!"
As soon as Katniss uttered the word "walk," his ears perked up and he calmed down instantly.
"Good boy," she said, scratching his head. He trotted outside and she followed him into the backyard. I threw on my slides and ran out to accompany them.
As soon as Roody noticed me, he jumped up and started licking my face. "Roody!" I yelped. "Hey, boy. Get down!"
Roody dropped down, tail wagging ferociously. He walked over to Katniss and barked eagerly, as if asking, "Can we go on a walk now?"
Katniss laughed and clipped the leash to his collar. "C'mon, boy."
We started off walking slowly, Roody dashing ahead. Katniss smiled sadly, and then said, "Do you think he's okay to keep?"
"What do you mean?" I asked, frowning. "Of course he's okay to keep. He's bright, happy, protective, and sweet. Why wouldn't he?"
"My parents," Katniss said dryly. "I can tell that Roody doesn't like them. He's protective of me, you, Prim, and Annie, but he hates my parents."
"It's almost as if he can tell-"
"-that I do too," she finished. Then she sighed. "Well the only thing my parents can do will get me to give Roody away."
"I really love him," I said. "I admire his loyalty and courage. I feel like he'd do anything for us, you know? Especially you," I added. Katniss smiled.
We took the trail into the woods where Katniss let Roody off his leash, to run free. She felt, and I did too, that he would always come back.
For a little bit, it was quiet. I held tight to Katniss's hand. It was me, her, and the woods. She looked so.. At peace. So calm. Not a care in the world. She had a special look when the sunshine crossed her face. It brought out a whole new color in her eyes, and made them glow. In fact, her whole face seemed to glow. She was radiant, under the dancing shadows of the green leaves. The woods seemed to bring out a new side of her that I longed to see more often. I caught myself smiling at her, wishing that she could always be this happy and carefree. Wishing that she wouldn't always blame herself for things that went wrong. Wishing that we could escape into the woods and never return.
Katniss caught me staring at her and raised an eyebrow. I couldn't even look away and instead said softly, "You look beautiful."
She smiled and squeezed my hand, and said, "I wish I could escape here."
"We should, one night," I told her. "Go camping or something like that."
"Yes!"
Just then, Roody came bounding back, barking ferociously.
"What is it, boy?" Katniss asked, concerned.
"I think he saw someone," I said, looking out into the path. I noticed two figures a fair distance away, but they were coming closer every minute. Katniss squinted, then a grin crossed her face. "Haymitch and Effie!" she yelled.
"Heyy-mitch?" I asked incredulously. "Effie? Who?"
"Oh, it's you, Katniss!" a shrill, feminine voice cried. The pair of people came running towards Katniss and I, waving and calling.
Roody went nuts, and started barking and jumping around excitedly.
"Oh, Katniss, it has been too long," a lady said dramatically. Much to my surprise, Katniss went right up to her and squeezed her tightly.
"I've missed you, Effie!" she said.
"You too, my darling!" this Effie said, beaming. Then, she found me. Her eyes widened and for a second, everything was silent. Then, she screeched, "HAYMITCH!"
The man named Haymitch came trotting over, gasping and wheezing. "What is it?" he asked, in a bothered tone. He had a low, raspy voice and looked sort of like an emo drug dealer.
"LOOK AT THE BOY," Effie commanded. Haymitch looked at me with one of the most bored expressions I've ever seen.
"Wow," he said in a monotone voice.
Effie could hardly contain her joy, and for whatever reason, leapt on to me and squeezed me so hard I thought I'd choke. Once she let go, I backed away several steps and shot an alarmed look at Katniss, who just laughed.
"You are perfect," Effie squealed. "Even better than Katniss's description."
"What on earth is going on here?" I asked, a little bit scared.
Katniss grinned and said, "Peeta, I'd like you to meet Effie and Haymitch. They are my good friends and metaphorical parents. Effie and Haymitch, this is Peeta."
Effie shot me a smile so wide, I thought her face would melt. "I just wanted to say thank you so much," she began. "for helping out our dear Katniss."
"Uhh..." I said cleverly.
"She has been almost like a different person since she met you, to be honest. She smiles more and talks about you all the time. Oooh, and you DO have ocean blue eyes! Just the way she described them," Effie said dreamily.
Katniss looked horrified. "Effie!"
Effie laughed. "Oh, darling, don't be embarrassed or shy. If a man never knows your love for him, he'll be afraid to love you back. Isn't that right, Haymitch?" she said, turning to the emo drug dealer.
"Sure," said Haymitch. He narrowed his eyes at me. "I know that Kat has only said good things about you, but know that if you ever mess with her, you're messing with us too. And you don't want to mess with us. Do I make myself clear?" he growled.
"HAYMITCH!" Katniss shrieked. "Stop it!"
Haymitch grinned, then punched me, none too gently either. "Just sayin'."
Katniss shook her head, and with a blush on her face said, "So that's Effie and Haymitch. Real nice, aren't they?"
"Very," I said, but my mind was someplace else. Something that Effie was saying earlier... What was it again?
"She has been almost like a different person since she met you, to be honest. She smiles more and talks about you all the time. Oooh, and you DO have ocean blue eyes! Just the way she described them!"
So does that mean...
Katniss talked about me with Effie and Haymitch?
But what does that mean? Was it all good? Was it bad? Was it both? Does she have the same feelings I do for her, which frankly, are quite confusing? Does she actually love my eyes? Are they even that cool? Do I make her smile more? Does she like me? Does she want me?
Does she love me?
The very thought of being official with Katniss alone makes me dizzy. I don't think I've ever wanted someone more in my life, but I know that we are so different, too different. Once the New Year comes and goes, I'll be back on tour. And probably never see her again.
No.
If there's one thing that I can't do, it's leave her. But at the same time, fate is not on our side. I know she would never want to-
"Peeta," Katniss said in an exasperated voice. "I'm talking to you!"
"Huh?"
Haymitch chuckled and Effie shot him a look.
"Johanna's party is in an hour and a half. We better get going," she said.
"Oh. OH! Right!" I said stupidly, still lost in my thoughts.
"So, c'mon," she said, tugging at my arm. "Bye Effie, bye Haymitch!" she called.
And within the hour, we were ready. Katniss was looking stunning in a black crop top with green jeans and heels, and I was wearing what I always do- a t-shirt and jeans.. She smiled when she saw my jaw drop and escorted me outside.
"How are you feeling?" I asked on the ride there.
"Fine," she said. "Cause I'm with you."
I smiled and placed a hand on her leg. Shortly thereafter, we arrived at Johanna's house. We crawled out of Katniss's tiny car and as soon as we entered Johanna's house, we were hit by a blast of noise and very loud music. Katniss shot me a look that clearly said, I told you this was a terrible idea.
"KATNISS! ROWAN!" a voice screeched. Johanna came zooming over, drink in hand. "Glad you could make it!"
"Yeah," Katniss said, dripping with sarcasm. "Me too."
Apparently Johanna was already too drunk to notice and even if she did, she didn't care. "Well, c'mon in! We've just started to play spin the bottle!"
"Oh, joy," Katniss said. "I love kissing random strangers."
I elbowed her gently. "Try to make the best of it! You might end up having a good time!"
"Uh-huh," she said. "Well, let's go kiss some strangers now."
"Hooray."
"All riiiiight!" Johanna said, way too loudly to pass for sober. "So there are a lot of ya'll here, so Imma introduce you! This is Cressida, Gloss, Cashmere, Finch, and Thresh," she said waving at all the people sitting around in the circle. Katniss nodded and I waved.
"I'll start!" she said and tossed a bottle onto the ground. It spun around, and eventually landed on Gloss, who stood up and pecked Johanna on the mouth.
Katniss's P.O.V
The group howled and shrieked even though I could see nothing worth being excited about. I glared at Peeta and hissed, "I told you so! They're all idiots!"
Peeta shrugged and said, grinning, "just pray you don't have to kiss Finch."
"ALL RIIIIGHTTT," Johanna said loudly. "Next up is Cressida!"
Cressida, who was wearing what appeared to be half of a half of a shirt giggled in an annoying, girly way before applying a fresh coat of lipstick, adjusting her skimpy shirt, then finally spinning the bottle.
And of course it landed on Peeta. His eyes went wide and he tried to back away, but to no avail. Before he could even say anything, she planted her mouth on his and grabbed his face. Instantly, a burst of envy and rage shot through me and I used Every ounce of self restraint I had to not slap her away. I sat rigidly until Peeta pushed Cressida off him and wiped his mouth. He shot me an apologetic look, but I looked away. I didn't know how to handle these intense feelings of protective-ness and jealousy.
"Good one!" Johanna screamed appreciatively. "Next is KATNISSSS!" I smiled at her, took the bottle, and gave it a good spin.
And of course, because fate likes to hit us in the face, it landed on Peeta.
The group howled again, and I turned to face Peeta. Before I could do anything, he grabbed my face and pulled me in For one of the longest, drawn out kisses we've ever had. When his lips were against mine, everything else melted away. Everyone else lost meaning. His hands ran through my hair while I pulled him closer and close until-
"OKAY, OKAY!" Johanna yelled, pushing me off of him. "Dude, you're not supposed to make out!"
"Get a room!" Cashmere shouted, and everyone burst out into laughter.
My face burned, but I had done what I meant to. Now the whole world would know that Peeta was mine. He gripped my hand and I squeezed back.
Just then, the door was flung open, and someone stomped through, waving an empty bottle of alcohol.
"Ayyyy!" Gloss shouted. "Cato! You finally came!"
My stomach sunk and I whipped around. Cato stood in the doorway, slowly inching toward the circle of people. He looked as drunk as ever, but he looked like he was only down a bottle. The look of soberness would never be his again.
"Come play!" Gloss ushered him over, and without asking or saying anything, he picked up the empty bottle from in the middle of the circle and spun it.
My heart ached, my face hurt, and it took all my strength to not get up and leave. Because if fate had it it's way, the bottle would land on me. It does that- it toys with us. It destroys us.
I regretted my thoughts instantly and my heart dropped as the bottle stopped spinning. The top of the bottle directly faced me, no doubt. I swallowed back the lump in my throat.
Cato wore a mischievous grin, like this was his plan the entire time. He made his way toward me, but I was still frozen in a trance like fear. The closer he got, the harder it was for me to move.
I scooted backward on my butt, and Cato's sulking form continued to come my way. I finally got to my feet, and gave Peeta a look I could only hope he'd understand. He seemed to sense my thoughts. I knew we shouldn't have come.
I'm sorry, he mouthed back.
"You're mine again, Kitty."
"Don't call me that." I put my hands to my face to block his attempted kiss.
"Come on Kitty. What happens in the game goes."
"I don't have to kiss you and I'm not going to." I looked over to Peeta for support, then Johanna, both of whom had begun to rise to their feet.
Cato has backed me into a corner. The drunk cheers of Johanna's friends egged him to try harder. They couldn't see the terror on my face and they couldn't feel the blood curdling fear that boiled me to a melting point.
The last time something like this happened, I was stuck in a box with Cato that was barely breakable and I only got out of when Peeta came.
"Cato, back down, she doesn't have to kiss you." Cato whipped around to face Peeta.
"What did you say?"
"I said she doesn't have to kiss you and she doesn't want to," Peeta repeated.
"Who even are you?" Cato sneered, taking a step towards Peeta.
Peeta shot me a look that clearly said, run!
"I'm Rowan," he said, too boldly. "And please leave my girlfriend alone."
Cato's eyes widened, as he looked at Peeta, and then slowly turned around to face me. "Oh? You're his girlfriend now? I thought you were mine."
"Yes, that's what he just said," I said bitterly.
Cato scowled at me, then said in voice dripping with hatred, "You dirty cheating slut. We never even ended, and you already found yourself a new fuckboy? You know what that's called? It's called cheating, bitch."
Anger and fear flooded my body and before I could even raise an arm to smack the shit out of Cato, Peeta was already on top of him, punching his face. A strong combination of gratitude and fear propelled me forward.
"PEETA, NO!" I screamed, trying to pull him off. I knew how this would end. Cato was so much bigger and stronger than Peeta was, and this fight would not end well.
But it was too late, Cato snarled, and sat up, shoving Peeta to the floor. Peeta gasped as Cato's fist made contact with his face, causing a spurt of blood to run down his nose. I screamed and screamed, but was held back by Johanna and Cressida .
"Calm down and let them sort it out," Johanna hissed into my ear.
"CATO, STOP!" I shrieked, as punch after punch landed on Peeta's face. A look of pain and fear crossed his face and I felt the punches and bruises with him. Tears cascaded down my face as I kicked Cressida's shins in an attempt to get loose.
Peeta tried to sit up to defend himself, but Cato slammed him back down. After that, Peeta went limp and lay in a bloody, bruised, mess on the ground. Johanna finally let me go when Cato backed off and spat in his face. I ran over to Peeta's lifeless body and tried to pull him up, but he was limp. My body was wracked with spasms of terror as I fumbled to find his pulse.
A powerful wave of relief crashed over me as I placed two shaking fingers on a strong pulse on his left wrist. "Peeta," I whispered, "Wake up."
"He has a concussion," Johanna informed me, kneeling down next to me. She placed a hand on his chest but I slapped it off. She withdrew her hand and looked surprised.
"You didn't care about him when he was getting beat up a minute ago," I snarled. "So why care now?"
Johanna scowled and stomped away with her friends, leaving me and Peeta alone on the floor. I dug my phone out with trembling hands and called Finnick. He answered on the second ring.
"Katniss?" he said, confusion clearly evident even through the phone. "What's up?"
"Finnick," I began in a hoarse, shaky voice. "I need you to come here right now."
"What?"
"Something happened and then... there was a fight," I explained lamely. "Peeta's knocked out. I need you right now to come and get us."
"Oh my god. Where are you?"
"8632 West Snow Street," I whispered. "Please hurry." And with that, I hung up and held tight to Peeta's wrist.
Time seemed to crawl as I waited with Peeta, crying silently and praying to every god I had ever heard of that he would be okay.
"Katniss!" Finnick said, bursting into the room. "Oh my god."
"Bad, isn't it?" I said wryly.
Finnick made no response. At last, he said, "Okay. I think maybe we can carry him to the car?"
"How is that gonna work?" I asked incredulously.
"Well I think we should try!"
"Peeta wouldn't want that," I informed him.
"You don't even know that! You met him about a month ago!"
"I know him better than you do."
"I've been with him for most of my life!"
"Well you've never had the same relationship we do-"
"Katniss? Finnick?" a feeble voice said. Peeta blinked and tried to sit up, but I pushed him back down.
"You're okay," I whimpered, before collapsing on to his chest, in a fresh wave of tears.
"Careful," he said weakly. "And don't fight Cato."
I laughed and sobbed at the same time, which produced a strange gurgling sound, which caused me to sob harder, further increasing the volume of my strange noises.
"Oh my god, Peeta," Finnick said. "Are you okay?"
"No," Peeta said. "But I will be."
"Let's get you into the car," Finnick said. "Um, Katniss, maybe let go of him."
I kissed his cheek once more for good measure and backed away as Finnick helped him hobble to the car. After that, I promised myself that I would never let him go again.
The car ride seemed to go on for ages, though in reality, it was only ten minutes. AS soon as we got home, we laid him on the bed, and Finnick went out to get some medicine and painkillers. I couldn't stand to just sit there and stare at his bloody, bruised body without doing anything to help. The feelings of guilt and regret were too strong to ignore.
"Peeta?" I asked timidly.
"Katniss?"
I opened my mouth to say something, but no sound came out. Tears started to flow before I could even move.
"I knew we shouldn't have done this!" I burst out. "And now you're hurt and then Cato's just-"
"Hey, hey hey, Kat. Calm down." He says and takes my face in his hands.
I look into his eyes. His right eye isn't as clear and is swollen because of the black eye. He has a smile nonetheless. It makes me feel a bit better. My fists grip my skirt.
"I told you I'd never let anything bad happen to you." He starts. "And even if it means that I get hurt, I'll do anything. I promise. Remember I said always? I mean it. Always. No matter what."
He kisses my forehead and rubs his thumb gently on my cheeks. "Remember it, okay? I love you." He says.
His words bring the smile back to my face and I don't even hesitate as I lean down to kiss him, stretching my body out against the length of his.
His arms come up around me and tangle in my hair as our tongues meet effortlessly. My hands are trapped between us, clutching desperately at his shirt. I am astonished by how little time passes in this manner before I feel him growing hard again. I wiggle against him a little and he groans and rolls so that I am trapped beneath him without even breaking the kiss. I could really get used to this, feeling his weight on top of me, his hardness pressed to my center. My thoughts are completely consumed by him as I break away from the kiss and begin pulling at his shirt and pressing my pelvis upward simultaneously. I want to feel his skin and I need to feel his pressure against the ache between my legs that is approaching pain. I have relieved myself so many times by imagining him here with me like this, that now I am almost frantic with the need to have him actually do it for me.
He helps me by leaning up and pulling his shirt over his head himself. As soon as it is tossed aside I wrap my arms around his back, reveling in the feeling of the smooth skin stretched over taut muscle. I am so lost in this moment that I feel absolutely no shame as I begin bucking up wildly, pressing hard against his erection. He groans so loudly that I am actually startled for a second, but that is forgotten a moment later as he captures my mouth again and presses his hips into me in a slow push. Now it is my turn to groan, which is muffled into his mouth. I'm not sure if this is heaven or hell. Feeling him hard against me feels so good, but at the same time I am hyper aware that this will not put the pressure on my clit that I need for release. I just go with it though, finding his rhythm and bringing my hips up to press against him every time he presses downward.
I am panting hard when he pulls his mouth away from mine again. He leans back on his knees and pulls me up with him, as though I was nothing, so that he can pull my T-shirt over my head, leaving my top half naked except for my bra. We both drop back to the bed as soon as this is accomplished. This time as he resumes his pushing rhythm against me I have the added stimuli of feeling his skin on my skin, both from where stomachs meet and from his palm running softly over my shoulders, stomach, breasts- anywhere he can reach without interrupting our movements below.
I am startled again when he gasps suddenly and pulls away from me so that our lower halves are separated. "Katniss," he breaths, "I can't do that anymore. I'm gonna come if I don't stop." I want to cry in frustration for a moment before he continues, "Is it okay if I touch you? If I use my hand on you?"
"Yes!" I nearly shout, much more emphatic than I intended. He actually has the nerve to flash a cocky smile in response to my desperation. I think vaguely that I should be irritated by this, but it makes him look so hot that my only actual response is another rush of moisture down below.
He wastes no time as he moves to the side so that he is lying next to me, no longer between my legs, and begins unfastening my pants. With his new position I can see everything he is doing and it just causes my excitement to escalate even more. Once my jeans are undone he pulls them down to the tops of my thighs and cups my sex over my panties. Under normal circumstances I would be mortified by this, but I am too far gone to care right now.
He groans, leaning his head right next to mine so that his mouth grazes my ear as he says, "Oh, fuck, Katniss. You're so wet." His words shock me. I knew that he would feel it, but I didn't expect him to comment on it. Even more surprising than his words is my reaction to them. I liked hearing him whisper that into my ear. The only response I can formulate is to gasp his name desperately and buck up into his cupped hand.
He moves his hand upward toward the waistband of my panties, but not without pressing his middle finger down hard on the cleft visible through my underwear as he goes. I can't stop myself from crying out loudly. All coherent thought flees my mind as he finally pushes his hand into my panties and sifts his fingers through my short curls. He moves his index and middle finger into the folds below, missing my clit, which causes me to squirm with impatience. When he pulls his fingers back upward his middle finger drags directly across it, causing me to give some garbled mix between a cry and a moan. He knows now that he has found the right spot and he begins rubbing his fingers there, adjusting his speed and pressure as he looks back and forth between my face and his hand. I realize on some level that he is trying to figure out what I like, gauging each different response I make.
I watch him work on me for as long as I can before the pleasure becomes too much and I have to squeeze my eyes shut against the release that I know is coming. He must understand what is about to happen because he presses down hard on my clit and begins circling his fingers faster. That is all it takes and I am totally lost, my whole body tensing, a low keening resonating in my throat as a final rush of moisture escapes my body, soaking my already wet panties and the jeans that have been pull partially down. As my body continues to hum with pleasure I vaguely realize that Peeta is running his fingers lower against me, through the moisture released with my orgasm.
Every muscle in my body is limp and relaxed as I finally start to return to myself. I open my eyes to find that he is staring at me intently. "Are you okay?" he asks, but he doesn't actually sound too concerned. I think it is pretty obvious that I am better than okay.
A slow lazy smile spreads across my face and I nod my head slowly. That orgasm was much more intense than the few I have managed to give myself, and I can't even muster the energy to respond. He pulls his hand away from me and jerks my pants back to my waist, but doesn't refasten them. He nudges me gently so that I roll to my side facing away from him and stretches out behind me spoon fashion.
I can feel his erection against my ass and somehow manage to look over my shoulder at him. "What about you?" I murmur sleepily.
He leans up and whispers in my ear, "I'll be alright." I don't remember anything after that as he pulls me tight against him, nuzzles his face in my neck and I drift effortlessly off to sleep.
*****
"Kaaatniss!" Prim called, shutting off the beeping timer. "The stuffing is ready!"
"Oh, great!" I said, rushing over to pull the two, piping-hot pans of stuffing out of the oven, nearly burning my own fingers off in the process.
"Is everything all ready?" Annie asked, popping up out of nowhere.
"I think so! Finnick, are you done with the turkey?"
"Yup," he replied. "Seasoned and ready to go."
"Great!" Annie said. "Peeta! Did you finish making the rolls?"
"Done and done, madam," he said smiling.
"I think we're done," she announced.
"All right!"
"Now, everyone, put your stuff on the table. We're starting in ten minutes!" she ordered. Prim scoffed, but placed the pan of mashed potatoes next to Peeta's bowl of magnificent-looking rolls.
It was Thanksgiving Day, and we had been busy cooking and baking all day. Peeta was almost completely healed, and things were slowly starting to get back to normal.
Well, everything except my parents, who were slowly becoming more invasive and nastier than I thought possible.
But today was the day that we celebrated colonization and genocide hooray, so there was no reason to be sad. I tried to put everything that I had against my mother and Liam behind me and have a fresh start. Of course, that's not how everything went though.
The door rang just as everything was getting into place.
"I got it!" I called, and set the hand towel down on the counter.
I go to open the door, not even noticing my appearance. I opened the door and my mood immediately lifted.
"Effie! Haymitch!" I exclaim with happiness. I hug both of them around their necks and place a kiss on their cheeks.
I let them go. "What are you doing here?" I ask.
"Oh, well, if it isn't too much of a bother, we have somethings to give our precious girls." Effie says with a big smile.
"Oh, you shouldn't have, you two." I say.
"We wanted to, My Dear." Effie says and hugs me again.
"Well, why don't you two just join us? We have plenty to go around. And Annie and Prim haven't seen you a while." I suggest and move aside.
"Oh, Katniss. That's very sweet. Haymitch?" Effie says.
"Anything for my Sweetheart." Haymitch says with a smile then he ruffs my hair.
I let them inside and led them to the dining room. Everyone was placing the last items on the table.
"Everyone, I'd like to invite some special people to our night. This is Haymitch and Effie Abernathy. Very good friends of our family." I say.
"Effie! Haymitch!" Prim squeals and drops her handful of napkins.
She rushes to them and gives them a hug. Annie comes in and realizes they are here. She comes over and hug them both too.
"This is Fin-uh Merrick. He's Rowen's brother." I introduce him to them with a smile.
Haymitch and Effie shake his hand, and greet each other.
"What's all this commotion?" My Mother asks, coming into the dining room, Liam not too far behind.
"Oh, Mom. You remember Dad's old friends, The Abernathy's right?" I ask.
She and Liam give them a look of fake happiness. "Oh, of course. Your father would go drink with him, if I recal." She says.
Effie scoffs and holds onto Haymitch. "Well, I never." She says.
"Mom, enough." I say through clenched teeth and giving her a death glare.
"Oh, where are my manners? Thank you for coming over. We have plenty for you both." Liam steps in. He extends his hand and shakes them both.
I give Effie and Haymitch a sympathetic look. They nod.
"Well, dinner is ready." Peeta says coming in from the kitchen.
As soon as we gathered around the table, there was already tension blossoming. My mother wore her fake smile which was a sure sign of dawning disaster. Liam looked tense and rigid. Effie and Haymitch gave them both glares as they tried to enjoy the nice time. Annie and Prim gave me looks. Peeta held my hand under the table. I took a deep breath and tried to tell myself that it was nothing. Just enjoy today.
Finnick then started dishing out the food, which was amazing. Prim's mashed potatoes were mouth-watering, creamy, salty, and overall delicious. Peets made these incredible rolls, which were filled with cheese. Finnick had made the turkey, while Annie had made the stuffing and yelled at everyone. I made the sweet potato pies and cranberry sauce, which, admittedly, weren't amazing, but still passable. And my mother had sat in her room with Liam and complained about how hot the oven made the house.
The vibe was talkative, cheerful, and warm. Everyone had at least two helpings, but Annie scarfed down four. The temperature rose when Finnick passed around the champagne. Effie brought out some dessert. They were all delicious and things I've never had. Beignets, macarons and a heavenly chocolate cake.
"What about we list things we're grateful for?" Prim suggested, when everyone (excluding my mother and Liam) was sitting back, relaxed and fuzzy. My mother narrowed her eyes.
"Good idea, Prim!" Finnick said, leaning back. "Well, to start, I'm grateful for all of you guys! I'm going to be honest, I never expected this. But I'm glad that I bumped into Katniss at the diner so long ago." He grinned. "I'm also grateful for this killer stuffing," he added, winking at Annie, who blushed.
"Me too," Peeta said, smiling. "We'll never forget your generosity and hospitality. I'm grateful for every one of you. You all have changed my life profoundly. Oh yeah. And I'm also grateful that Cato is not here."
That was met with a chorus of laughs and head-shaking.
"Well, I'm grateful for Almond and Roody and my sisters," Prim said. "I'm grateful for this delicious meal and a roof over our heads. I'm also grateful that I have such amazing friends and family."
"Same!" Annie said happily. "Pretty much everything Prim said. Also, I'm grateful that we finally got a Nintendo Switch." I rolled my eyes, but smiled. "Also I'm better at Mario Kart than Finnick."
Finnick shook his head, grinning.
"Katniss, your turn!" Annie said.
"Well," I began. "I'm grateful for my family and friends. Prim, Annie, Peeta, and Finnick. Effie. Haymitch." I purposefully left out my mother and Liam but ignored her small, indignant cough. "I'm also incredibly lucky to have every one of you and I couldn't imagine life without even one of you."
For a moment, there was a silence while everyone was soaking up the happiness and gratitude.
"Well, I am grateful for this opportunity," my mother said. "I'm grateful that I finally have my daughters back." I went rigid, and Peeta gripped my hand under the table. She smiled and said, "I might as well take this opportunity to let you all know that we recently bought a house about an hour and a half away from here in a suburb. It has three bedrooms and even a little rabbit pen," she said, flashing her toxic smile. "Soon, my daughters will be home at last."
I felt something in me snap. I stood up abruptly and slammed my fist on the table. Causing everyone to gasp in horror and confusion.
"WHY WOULD YOU EVER SAY THAT?" I screamed. Peeta tries to touch my arm but I push it away. "YOU WILL NEVER HAVE MY FAMILY! YOU WILL NEVER BE IN MY LIFE! AND YOU WILL NEVER BE MY MOTHER! SO BOTH OF YOU GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! WE DON'T WANT YOU AND WE DON'T NEED YOU RUINING EVERYTHING! SO STAY OUT OF OUR LIVES!"
The room is filled with silence. And the tension is so high, I could cut it with an eyelash.
"Well...if that's how you feel about us, then we'll leave." My mother said flatly.
She places her napkin on her plate and stands up. The room stays silent as they go to get their things. Before they leave, my mother stops at the entryway.
"And don't think I'll be reporting this to CPS, either. Obviously this isn't the place for them. I'll be back soon, Katniss." She says.
At that, her and Liam head out the door. Anger, sadness, and fear hit me like a train.
I rush up the stairs and into my room. Slamming the door loudly. I sink down in front of it and let my emotions feel. I hide my face in my knees and cry. I can't even think of what my life would be without anyone I love in my life. I can't live without my sisters. I can't live without Peeta.. Or Finnick. Or Haymitch. Or Effie. I just..can't. I hear Roody whimpering. I look up from my knees and see him by my bed in his cage. He's clawing to come out. I feabley walk over to his cage and unlock it. He comes to me and I cling onto him for dear life. I cry into his fur and he doesn't leave me.
I can hear sounds downstairs and people talking. I let go of Roody and go to the door. I hear them all talking. I can just think of what they are saying about me. Roody whimpers and nuzzles his head under my hand. He rests his head on my lap. I pet his ears gently. I hear the front door open and close. Then silence.
'They all must have left... Who wouldn't?' I think.
I sigh and lay down on the ground. Roody nestles under my arm and I hold onto him. I sniffle and close my eyes. The tears escape my shut lids. I feel Roody lick them away. I nuzzle my head into him and cry more.
'At least I can have him if they all leave me.' I think.
~
I must have fallen asleep. I don't feel Roody beside me, but I hear him growling. I sit up and rub my eyes. It is dark outside by now, and the street lamp shines into my room.
Suddenly I hear a soft knock on the door. "Katniss...?"
I stand up and open the door. Roody goes out and starts to jump on Peeta. He laughs and pets him. "Hey bud."
I wipe my eyes from the tears from my face that are starting to fall again. He looks up at me from his knees with Roody and smiles gently. I don't return it.
"Hey, bud, go outside, okay? Outside." Peeta says and stands up.
Roody goes outside like he is told. I move back and Peeta enters. He shuts the door gently. We stand in silence. I look to the ground and rub at my arm.
"Katniss..." He starts.
He moves towards me and I move back.
"Look, I'm so..so sorry." He says. "And I just wanted to sa-"
"I know what you want to say!" I burst out. "That I'm crazy. That I'm insane. That I'm a monster. That I'm unfit to be alive. That I should just end his all and let everyone be happy like they were!"
Peeta stares at me in shocked silence. His silence makes me feel more and I hate it. It escapes even though I don't want it to. The tears fall from my face and the awful noises follow. Peeta takes me into his arms and I don't push him back. He rest his chin on mine and gently rubs my back. I cling onto him and cry.
"I don't think anything like that about you." He says gently. "I think that I love you more. You are so strong and such a fighter. And I love everything about you."
The tears flow more and I can't get them to stop. But he doesn't rush me to talk or even to stop crying. He just lets me get what I've been holding in for so long, out. The tears stop to fall but the pain continues.
"I love you too, Peeta." I whisper.
"Yeah?" He says and starts to sway us around in place.
"Yes... And I don't know what I'd do without you." I say and look up.
He smiles sweetly and brushes my hair out of my face. He kisses my forehead.
"And... I.." I stumble.
"You what?" He asks.
"Where is everyone?" I dodge.
"Effie and Haymitch took them to stay at their place. Give you some space." He says. "But that's not you wanted to say, was it?"
I cant help but blush and smile a little bit. "No.."
"Well, what was it?" He asks in a low voice.
"I need yo-"
He moves so swiftly that I'm startled and before I even know what is happening he is kneeling on the bed in front of me, one arm clutching my back and the other buried in my hair, working to loosen my braid. I start to speak again, but his lips slam into mine at that moment and whatever I intended to say is smothered between our mouths.
It only takes a moment for me to begin urgently clawing at his T-shirt, and he breaks away from me just long enough to whip it impatiently over his head. I want to take the time to admire him, to run my hands along his chest and stomach and back, but Peeta has a different idea. He adjusts his legs so that he can fall backward on the bed and pulls me with him so that I am lying on top of him. Before either of us can adjust our position we are kissing again.
After a few moments I rise up and shift my legs so that I am straddling him. I waste no time before I begin grinding against his erection, totally without shame, my body taking over to seek the relief it so desperately wants. Peeta lets me go, lets me do what feels good, and only reaches behind me to release the clasp of my bra. He has become somewhat of an expert at this in the two months we have been dating. Once he has rid me of it, he places a hand on my back to urge me to lean forward and I do, grinding against him the whole time, letting the ridge of denim over his zipper rub my clit against the hardness of his erection. I know why he wants me to lean forward and I give in to him, hovering my breasts over his face so that he can take a nipple into his mouth. It only takes another minute or so of this treatment before I am frantically gasping his name as the pleasure builds to a pitch and I effortlessly hit the peak, moaning deeply in the back of my throat as I come. The thin panties do nothing to stem the flow of moisture from my orgasm and I end up soaking the front of his pants where I am still pressed tightly against him.
I slump over onto Peeta's chest, and he rubs my back sweetly as the last tremors of pleasure run through my body, and I attempt to regulate my breathing. Before too long I lean up to kiss him, relishing in the taste of his tongue against mine. When I pull away it is only to lean over to whisper in his ear, "Peeta, I want you."
His breathing is somewhat ragged as he returns, "I want you too, baby."
I lean up again and look into his eyes, the most vibrant blue I have ever seen, so full of lust and an emotion so much deeper that I am still loathe to name. "Tonight, I mean. I want you tonight. I want to really be with you tonight."
His eyes are darting back and forth slightly, trying to assess the truth of my words. "Are you sure, Katniss?"
"Yes," I say firmly, and just because I can't seem to help myself I continue, "don't you want to, also?"
"God, Katniss," he gasps burying a hand in my hair to pull me down for a fierce kiss. "Of course I do. As long as it is what you want too. I know I haven't been here long-"
I cut him off by pressing my lips to his before he can say more. It would be a waste of breath anyway. I want him, right now... Of this I am certain. When we break away to take a breath I say, "I don't care how long you have been here. I know this is right... and so do you."
He nods his head and then moves quickly in what I assume is a move he learned from all the dance choreography, holding me in place with one arm and using the other along with his legs to flip us over completely so that he is on top. He drags his lips across my face in soft kisses, moving downward much too slowly for my current state, licking down my neck, peppering soft kisses across my clavicle. When he reaches my necklace which has fallen back into the hollow at the base of my neck, he darts his tongue out, licking underneath the chain and drawing it into his mouth and sucking gently. I'm not exactly sure why this action causes my pelvis to jut upwards of its own accord, but I have some vague idea that it has something to do with the drawing I saw earlier... the one where his head was buried between my legs.
"Peeta," I pant, pushing at his chest so that he lifts up. I take advantage of the space created between us and reach down for the button on his jeans.
He leans up and I let my hands drop away as I watch him open them himself. He looks down at the wet spot created by my orgasm earlier, and his mouth tilts up in a lopsided grin. "I love how wet you get every time when you come," he says quietly. His words have the effect he had hoped for as I gasp and my hips buck up without my consent again.
He maneuvers off the bed for just a moment to shed his jeans and boxer shorts. I get only the briefest glimpse of his entirely naked body before he is crawling over me again. I make a mental note to take a good look later, when I can linger over the details.
He wastes no time in divesting me of the thin panties, and then just leans back on his knees, letting his eyes linger over my entire body. I am too far gone, my brain too muddled by lust and need, to even consider being embarrassed by his attention. But I'm too impatient and after a minute I can't prevent the whiney tone my voice takes on as I plead with him. "Peeta, please."
He lays back down over me and kisses me softly and moves his right hand down seek out my clit. His fingers meet no resistance as he slips them down further and eases, first one, and then a second into me... I am so wet by now.
"Peeta," I pant again. I just want him inside me, but even in my state, I am not brave enough say this outright.
"I just want to make sure you're ready," he says, breathing hard. He has an uncanny ability to understand what I am thinking when I can barely understand it myself. "I don't want to hurt you, Katniss."
"I am ready. Can't you feel how wet I am?" I say emphatically, the whine in my voice surfacing again.
"Okay... should I get a condom?"
I shake my head impatiently, all this stalling is allowing my nerves from earlier to return. "It's okay. I've been on birth control for over three years now."
He nods again and finally meets my eyes in a direct gaze. Leaning down, he gives me a soft, sweet kiss and says, "I can't believe this is happening. Katniss, I have wanted this for so long... I..." he trails off and doesn't continue. I think I know what he was going to say, and I know that he stopped for my sake. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that, though.
I don't have any time to mull it over, however, because a moment later he is asking if I am ready and positioning himself at my entrance. I am not sure what to make of it at first, it doesn't hurt exactly, but the stretching is certainly uncomfortable. I am conscious of Peeta whispering in my ear, his voice strained, asking if I'm okay and telling me to relax. I spread my legs wide and try to focus on his face rather than on the discomfort. I find his eyes, and my distress seeps out of me, and he quickly slips in the rest of the way.
I gasp, not in pain, but in surprise. I don't think I ever could have anticipated how this feels, not just physically, but emotionally, as well. To be totally connected with Peeta... it is indescribably good.
"Is this okay?" he asks, an edge of trepidation evident in his voice. "Do you need me to stop?"
In answer I simply move my right hand from his back to his hair and pull his head to mine for a deep kiss. "Don't you dare stop," I say, when we take a breath. As his mouth returns to mine he begins to move.
It only takes a few moments before his breathing is erratic and he is gasping in my ear, "God, Katniss... you feel so good... I didn't know it would feel this good."
I lean up and kiss him again, but he pulls away a second later. The soft groaning noises that he can't seem to hold in excite me and I become aware of how amazing he is starting to feel inside me now that my body has grown accustom to his size. I can tell by the sudden irregularity of his movements and ragged breathing that he is going to come any second now. I know that I will not be able to finish with him, but I love knowing how good this is for him. I am proven right when he groans loudly a few minutes later and pauses while he's still buried deep inside me.
I card my fingers through his hair and let my hands roam over the muscles of his back and reach down to cup his ass as it flexes with the final tremors of his orgasm. "I'm sorry," he whispers a few moments later, sounding exhausted.
"Why?" I ask absently.
"Because I didn't last long enough for you to come," he breaths into my ear.
I laugh softly and say, "It's okay. It was still really great. And I already did earlier-" I am surprised as my words are cut off by his mouth as he kisses me hard, thrusting his tongue past my lips and then moving on to pepper kisses across my brow, down my nose, anywhere he can reach.
"You're so amazing," he says, "and I know talking about feelings freaks you out... but I just... you are everything to me, Katniss." He pauses for a long time as we just search each other's eyes. "That's all I'm going to say... But I needed to at least tell you that."
I reach up again to rake my hands through his hair and pull him in for another kiss. When I pull back I say, "I know that, Peeta... I... I feel the exact same way you do." I can tell by the pleased smile on his face that he knows exactly what I mean, and understands that I'm just not brave enough to put it into words.
We don't speak again as he slips out of me and maneuvers to pull the comforter out from under us and drape it over me. When he crawls back into bed I curl into his side easily and drift off to sleep relishing in the feeling of his fingers sifting through my hair, the warmth of his naked skin pressed against the entire length of mine, and the oddly pleasant soreness between my legs.
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