"Now push." The doctor commanded.
The bones in Rasler's hand felt as if they were being crushed by Ashe's vice like grip, but he stayed quiet despite the pain for her sake.
She grunted, and stopped suddenly to catch her breath. "I-I can't, it's too much." Her breaths came in quick pants, and her grip on his hand weakened as she fell back onto the bed unconscious.
"Get the blood, anesthetics, and move that cart over." He shouted to the nurses.
Rasler held on to Ashe, while the rest of the room exploded in a flurry of activity. One nurse wheeled in a cart while another one, prepared a bag of what only could be blood, and then stuck a needle of it into her arm.
He looked down at her losing track of what was happening around him. Seeing the needles, scalpels, and other instruments, made his stomach churn with anxiety, and fear for her life. He watched her chest rise and fall with each breath avoiding the doctors and nurses, as they went on in the procedure. His eyes closed, and he prayed, for the first time in years, for Ashe and the baby to make it. Despite his family's contributions to the Light of the Kiltia, he never truly put much faith in such things. But now? Well perhaps it is true that men find faith in crisis.
Ashe's hand was loose in his hand now, as she lay unconscious. He hoped that she would regain consciousness at least to be able to hold the child at least once for the doctors feared the worse for both mother and child. If they passed away he would be alone, and everything he loved gone. If only he had not pressured her into having a child, she would be safe a far, far away from this hospital, but no he had long caved into the pressures of having an heir, starting a family as quickly as possible, and their baby was another way to not feel the pain and loneliness of losing their parents. Come to think if it he never told Ashe how he truly felt about her. He loved her more than anything else in the world, and the thought of losing her was a painful and frightening one. She was always there for him, when he was ill, injured, or simply lonely and stressed. She took charge when he suffered from pain and was barely able to walk, let alone lift a sword. He grace and beauty were what first captivated him, while her passion and strength touched upon his heart.
She finally opened her eyes, after spending what seemed like an eternity unconscious. "Do I still have to push?" Her words were weary, but the grip on his hand tightened.
The doctor looked up. "So you came to? No, we had to operate in hopes of preventing more blood loss."
Her gaze lowered. "And the baby?"
"Actually you'll be seeing him right now." He handed over their infant son wrapped in a blanket, and covered in blood and fluid. "You can hold him, but only for few moments, he's very weak."
Ashe held him up to bosom and smiled for a brief second. "He's so tiny." She remarked. The child was small, just a little larger than her hand, and his skin was thin and wrinkled. Tears ran down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry, if only I was stronger, you wouldn't have been born so early… I have just one selfish request, stay strong for me…" She cradled the boy, humming a few bars of an old lullaby. "I think your father wants hold you."
He looked down at his infant son, now cradled in his arms. "Welcome to the world." What was supposed to be a joyous occasion was also one of the most painful and frightening experiences for him. With Ashe's injuries and bleeding, and their baby's weakness and prematurity, he worried about the outcome of the situation and prayed for the best. He handed back the child to Ashe, who took one long look at her child before handing him back to the doctors and nurses. They carried him to a corner of the room to take care of him. The activity in the room picked up again, this time everyone was much quieter, and spoke in hushed voiced if at all. Spells were cast on the boy in a hushed voice, while they cleaned and treated him.
The doctor continued his work on Ashe, cleaning and stitching her up. Then one of the nurses leaned over, and spoke. "We ask that you leave the room, it's going to get rather complicated."
Rasler nodded. "I guess this is my cue to leave…"
"…but I…" She frowned, and sighed. "I guess it can't be helped. I'll see you then."
"Sorry." There was an awkward pause in the room. "I- love you, Ashe."
She smiled weakly. "And I love you too."
He then left the room, and returned to the waiting room taking a seat close to the door. A heavy sigh escaped his lips, as he hung his head and buried his face in his palms. The clock struck one in the morning. Had he really been up this long? It felt like much, much longer, an eternity. Now it would be even longer, since he was asked to leave Ashe and their child.
His eyelids became heavy with drowsiness. He leaned against the armrest and closed his eyes, but his worries and the constant movement around him kept him from falling asleep. It was a sort of constant battle, he would find a comfortable position, and a nurse or doctor would pass by waking him up, or an alarm or announcement would be played over the intercom. If he knew some magick, he would try casting a sleeping spell, even if it placed him in light doze, which never quite left the subject feeling rested or rejuvenated, but it would be better than getting no sleep. The clock ticked in the background whenever there was a moment of silence.
He shifted resting his head against the wall and tried to relax despite how difficult it was to do so. If he could just hold her and be with her and their son until they were done treating them, which by itself would lift the veil of worry and agony. Down the hall, the sounds of another woman giving birth and the subsequent cheers, congratulations, and cries echoed through the hall. One man celebrates the birth of his child, while another fears for the lives of his wife and child. He felt a twinge of envy, had things gone well, he would be the one celebrating the birth of their child, but it was not meant to be. Life seemed unfair at the worst of times and fair at the best, such was the paradox of living. It was difficult to discern what happened beyond the closed doors of the hospital ward, but he still had hope for the both of them, at the rate things were going it was the only thing he might have left, that and his dignity.
He flipped through old magazines, not paying much attention to what he read as a way to take his mind of the current situation. The pages were littered with ads for potions, iceboxes, spells, and gambits. To be able to worry about domesticity would be quite the luxury right now. Actually not sitting at the hospital waiting would be a luxury for him. He wondered how long he would wait here, the longer he waited the more he felt as if he was being worn down to the core. He prayed hoping that both Ashe's and their child's recovery.
Several long hours passed. Then he felt a hand tapping him on his shoulders. It was the doctor. "You may see you wife. We're taking her to her room now." The door opened with the nurses pushing Ashe's bed down the hall. A wave of relief washed over him, but the ordeal was not over yet. She lay on the bed eyes closed, in a magickally-induced sleep, she was still as pale as when she was first brought here, her hair was disheveled, and she was noticeably thinner around her stomach having delivered their child.
He followed the nurses and Ashe into the room, staying at the doorway while they transferred her into the bed. They adjusted the IV, monitors, and blankets, leaving after a few minutes of care. In the background there, was a constant beeping and dripping of the IV. He stepped in taking a chair with him to her bedside.
She lay there on the bed wrapped in sheets; almost still save for her quick shallow breaths. He took her cold clammy hand in his and held it with the hope that she may soon wake up. There was not much he could do now except to wait and pray for the best. He brought her hand up to his lips, kissing each of her knuckles, with the hope that it may wake her up.
Long hours passed, until she finally awoke. Ashe's eyelids fluttered open, and she took in a deep breath. She stirred a bit wrinkling the plain white sheets as she moved. "It's over?" she said weakly.
He stayed silent for a moment not sure what to say. "I assume the worse is, but there's the subject of your recovery."
She nodded. "I want to see our child."
He bit his lip, taking his time to respond. The answer would surely hurt her. "I have not seen him since I was forced to leave. You may have to ask the doctors." His voice wavered as he spoke.
Her jaw dropped, and she swallowed a lump in her throat. "Oh, gods. It was evident he was weak after birth, but now…I…"She sighed, and bowed her head looking at the sheets that surrounded her body. "Call someone over. Please."
Rasler nodded. The chair scraped against the floor while he got up from his seat to get a doctor. As quickly as he had left, he had returned following the doctor on call. As soon as they entered, Ashe lifted herself up slightly, and then fell back down onto the mattress looking both exhausted and frustrated.
"May I see my son?"
"Well, yes. We are doing what we can to take care of him, but he is quite ill and weak. I shall call in a nurse to take you to see him."
She gave him a weak nod. "Thank you, but I can hardly lift my head from the pillow let alone walk." Her glanced shifted to her legs for a brief second.
"Of course you're not walking." He shook his head. "After what happened tonight I doubt you'll be on your feet for at least a month or two."
Ashe looked down, and bit her lip. "Oh."
Minutes later a nurse came in with a wheel chair, and then they transferred her into the chair. Rasler followed them out into the sterile white hallway, it was still rather quiet as most patients in the ward had gone to bed, and no new patients had come in. They went up several floors into another ward; this one was also as bare and plain, save for the pastel colors that dotted the walls indicating that this is where they took care of the infants. They passed the nurseries were the healthy children were kept, he sighed feeling sadness and regret for what had been taken from him. He looked to Ashe who gaze was fixated on her lap as if avoiding the sight of nursery, unless she be reminded of her hopes for a healthy and strong child that had been shattered in one single night.
The door creaked open, as the nurse opened it allowing them to enter. Inside there were several rows of glass incubators most of them unoccupied, lights flickered throughout the room, as nurses paced through the row checking on their patients. They stopped at the at the first incubator which glowed faintly of magick, his son lay inside seemingly asleep with various tubes and wires about him obviously assisting his struggle for survival. With all the equipment around him he seemed even smaller than ever. Despite the pain it caused, Rasler bent his knees slightly to get a better view, and to be level with Ashe.
She pressed her hand against the glass gazing intently as her son. "I'm sorry." She managed to choke out, before breaking into tears. He reached out for her hand his grip tightening. If only things had taken a different course neither Ashe nor their son would have to suffer so. She buried her face in his shoulder, dampening the fabric of his shirt with her tears. He stood there offering the support and quiet reassurance that she so desperately needed.
The doctor then spoke up. "We're doing what we can to help your child but due to the war we lack the equipment and resources that other hospitals have. His chances of making it are rather slim, and at this point one may consider it a miscarriage if he doesn't."
Ashe trembled, then straitened herself out and wiped her tears. She turned to the doctor, with a glare that could instill fear into anyone that so much as caught a glimpse of it. "Are you telling me that the child I carried for nearly six months, nearly died for, and lost nearly half my own blood for is a mere miscarriage? You have not a clue what I am going through right now." He voice was cold, colder than the harsh winter winds of the highest peaks in Ivalice.
He looked at his eyes widening in shock, making it evident that he was not used to this sort or treatment, but neither was Ashe. "Well, yes—I mean no—" He stopped himself, and sighed. "It's complicated…" He trailed off and backed off towards the door of the room.
Ashe took a deep breath her anger dissipating as quickly as it had appeared. She leaned in closer to the glass her breath fogging up the glass. "I'm sorry, if only I was stronger, you wouldn't be here like this. I pray that you can forgive us." She began weeping.
Rasler pulled her closer once again, and held tightly. His clothing muffled her sobs. He would never let go of her again, and he would be by her side always. He stroked her hair, in an attempt to soothe her, but he knew that it was futile. "It's okay I'm here, you won't be facing this alone. We will go back now if you wish." Now more than ever he has to be strong for her. She nodded weakly in reply
They returned, and she fell asleep without another word quickly succumbing to exhaustion. He brushed her hair out of her face and kissed her cheek his lips barely brushing her skin. Then he brought up a chair and curled up, glancing around the room before taking a few breaths to steady himself. Soon he too succumbed to sleep and exhaustion.
Sunlight filtered through the curtains waking up Rasler from his light sleep, he rubbed his eyes and yawned. Ashe was still soundly asleep, yesterday's ordeal still taking his toll on her. Her IV was almost emptied, and her sheets still blood stained, making it evident that nurses still had not made their morning rounds. Thankfully, it was early for he realized there was much to do, if he was fast enough he could return before she awoke.
He stretched his muscles sore from sleeping in the chair and the injuries he received last night. A change of clothes, for both him and his wife were the first order of business, his were still stained and torn with dirt and blood from the previous evening, and Ashe needed something more decent than the immodest hospital gown. Rasler leaned over and planted a kiss on her cheek before leaving the room. Vossler would need to know what happened, and so would Ashe's midwife. There were things to do and if he dawdled and something was to happen to his wife, he would never forgive himself for it. He ran through the streets as quickly as his feet could take him, knowing that he would pay the consequences later. The door to their small apartment slammed behind him, he raced to the dresser pulling out a tunic a pair of trousers and fresh undergarments. Then he bathed and dressed, and left their small home with a small bundle tucked under his arm.
A quick run through lowtown lead him to the room that served as the resistance's base of operations. He entered in without a second look from the men that served as guards at the entrance.
Before he could get in a word, Vossler began to speak. "You head about the riots last night?" He paused and noticed that Ashe was missing. "Where is your wife? And why do look so exhausted?"
"That's the problem." Rasler's gaze shifted to the ground. "Ash—Amalia, well last night we found ourselves in the midst of the riot, she was attacked. I found her lying down in the streets injured and bleeding heavily and took her to hospital and…" he paused sighing heavily before continuing. "She gave birth last night, and I don't even know if they'll both live to see tomorrow." He bit his lip and buried his face in his palm. Vossler offered him a chair, in which he promptly sat. "I-I just don't know what to do, she barely made it through last night. And our son, he struggles barely clinging onto life."
Vossler just stared blankly for a moment. "I-I'm so sorry. I shall keep both of them in my thoughts."
"Thank you." The prince replied. "I must take my leave now. Goodbye." With that, he left heading towards Ashe's midwife. He hoped that the conversation would pass quickly and without any awkward moments, he could count the times he spoke to her on one hand. She was kind but he only knew her as an acquaintance.
Rasler knocked on the door while catching his breath. The door opened with Ila standing in the doorway looking confused at the absence of Ashe. "Hello? Is something wrong with Ashe?"
He nodded. "She was attacked last night, and received serious injuries. As a result she gave birth, and she and the child are both struggling." He swallowed, attempting to hold back the flood of emotions.
"Oh, my. I'm so sorry." She covered her mouth with her hand. "Would it be okay if I visited?"
"I would think she would like that." He paused. "Well I should get going now. Thank you."He turned and made his way through the streets and back into the hospital where his wife stayed.
He set the clothes on the table and took his seat next to her bed. The sheets were fresh, and a breakfast tray perched on the table untouched, meaning that she had not awoken yet despite the visitors to her room. Ashe slept unaware of anything around her. He reached for her still clammy hand, holding it between both of his.
It would get better for all of them; otherwise, he could not even bear the thought of losing her or their child. If he were to lose any of them, it would be another sign of his failure as a husband, father, and prince. He already had his doubts about being able to take charge and protect his own people after the events at Nalbina, anything more would only prove his doubts. If he could not take care of his own family, what lead anyone to believe that he could rule over and protect a nation? A man who can hardly fight, defend his family, or even lead, what would that leave him with? Nothing, unless there was a sudden demand for men who could please a woman in bed.
Rasler brought Ashe's hand to his mouth, and he planted a kiss on her hand. "Please be strong for me." He closed his eyes and prayed that she would get the rest she needed to recuperate.