[Nick]
That July 2004 night in London was the last time I talked to Harley for a while. I flew back to the States and dove into working on the album with the guys. Harley's statement about the Paris incident helped the situation a lot. Paris eventually came out and said that she had made it all up and my name was pretty much cleared and she was the one that looked bad.
I didn't know how to thank Harley for it so when I knew she was back in the States, I sent pink roses, her favorite, to her house to thank her again for releasing that press statement. I got a 'you're welcome' text with a wink smiley face from her and that was it. That November, I ran into her at an American Music Awards after party that I attended with the guys and we exchanged awkward smiles. She was with Ashton and I didn't want to impose. It was just felt and very awkward.
It was weird because we confided in each other so much in London, talking and confessing things and then it just went back to how it was before – like we were strangers. I was there, dateless, while the other guys had girls with them. I didn't know who to talk to or hang out with for fear that they would bring her up.
I thought after London that we would at least become friends again but I had thought wrong, or at least that's what I thought. She gave me that look as if she wanted to come over, hug, and say hello but she was scared to. So, I didn't push it. I smiled back at her and kept watching her throughout the night.
But what I didn't know at the time was that Harley was going through her own problems that nobody, including those in her inner circle, knew about – except for me.
[/Nick]
[December 2004]
Harley laid on the table in an examination room, with the lights low and her eyes closed. Her hair was in a ponytail and she had no make-up on. She had been suffering from migraines the past few weeks, due to the stress she was under. She was under more stress now than she had ever been under. She was under pressure not from just the music industry but herself to top her last album. She had barely seen Ashton the past few months because he was so busy shooting movies, shooting "That 70's Show," and producing and filming "Punk'd." It wasn't like neither of them hadn't tried to make time for one another – they had tried hard.
The last time she saw him is when she was in Los Angeles for the American Music Awards in November. She won both the Female Country Artist and Female Pop Artist awards, along with Favorite Pop Album award. She performed "Kiss You on the Mouth" and had an awesome time at the after party, until she saw Nick, staring at her from across the room.
"It wouldn't look right if you went over and talked to him with cameras around," Ashton told her and he was right. It wouldn't look right and she felt bad about it. She wanted to go say hi. She wanted to go see the other guys. She sent AJ a text that night apologizing for not saying hello.
And since then, she had thought about Nick a lot. She wished she could blame Nick for her migraines but she knew he wasn't the reason. There were so many things she was stressed about and while Nick was probably a part of that stress, he wasn't the sole reason.
"Miss Harper," the doctor said, walking into the room. "I heard you passed out earlier today," he said as Harley nodded.
"I was in my living room with my father and I passed out, so he made me come in," she said as the doctor nodded. "I've been having these migraines for years whenever I'm under stress, but I've never passed out from them. I've just been under so much stress lately and they have gotten worse."
"Well your blood pressure is through the roof," he said as Harley sighed. "High blood pressure can cause migraines, Harley. Have you always had high blood pressure?" Harley shook her head.
"My mother suffered from it and my grandfather too," she said. "It's just the stress..."
"You need to get the stress out your life if you're under that much stress. It's not good for you."
"If I knew how to get rid of some of the stress, I would," she said, rubbing her forehead. She had a migraine at that very minute.
"Well, are you working right now?" he asked as she shook her head.
"Trying to write for my next album," she whispered. "That's not going all that great and my fiancé and I don't get to see one another all that much lately and just thinking a lot about things, it gives me the headaches and makes me upset..."
"And your blood pressure rises," he said as he nodded. "We ordered you a CAT scan for tomorrow just to be on the safe side, but I'm pretty sure it's just from high blood pressure. I'm going to give you a prescription for some blood pressure pills and some pain medication for the migraines that will help you, Harley. But you have got to get the stress out of your life. High blood pressure can lead to a lot more serious problems, like a stroke and you are way too young to have that."
"I'll try, Doc. I promise," Harley smiled, taking the prescriptions from the doctor.
Harley thanked the doctor and made her way out of the examination room. She walked by the payment center, finding out that her father had already taken care of the bill and she walked out, seeing her father sitting in the waiting room alone.
"What did the doctor say?" Jon asked as he and Harley started walking to his huge pick-up truck. "Are you going to be okay?"
"My blood pressure is sky high," she said, watching her father shake his head. Harley opened the door to his truck and climbed inside, putting her sunglasses on. "Said I need to get some of the stress out of my life."
"Well what are you stressed about besides music?" Jon asked as he pulled out of the doctor's parking lot. "Something else going on?" Harley leaned her head back, not wanting to open her eyes because the sun was so bright? "Harley, talk to me. I don't like you passing out in front of me."
"I'm kind of stressed out about Ashton, too," she said, turning her head to look at her father. "We haven't seen or talked to one another a lot lately and the movie's director doesn't want me around. At first when he was away filming it was fine. Like when Nick and I were apart for weeks at a time, we would talk and text and e-mail, all the time. With Ashton the past two months, it feels like I'm engaged to someone who I only see when I go to an awards show and I hate that and that's my own fault too because he doesn't initiate contact so I don't either."
"Well, you need to figure something out," Jon said as Harley nodded. "You have enough to worry about with your career. Don't make yourself sick by worrying over a boy."
"Do you think it's a mistake for me to marry him?" Harley asked as Jon stopped at a red light and looked at his daughter. "Sometimes I feel like I jumped into the engagement too soon, you know?"
"Sweetie, if you're having second thoughts about it, then it's not what you want," he said as she crossed her arms over her chest. "You shouldn't be worrying yourself over this and making yourself sick." Harley nodded and leaned her head back again. "When did you start thinking about this?"
"A few months ago," Harley whispered. "And now every time that I've seen Ashton since, which hasn't been many times, I just realize more and more that I don't know if it's the right thing or not."
"He's coming to Atlanta for Christmas, isn't he?" Jon asked as Harley shrugged. "Just talk to him about it. Maybe he's feeling the same way."
Harley sighed, nodding and closing her eyes as her father drove them back to her house. He was right. She needed to talk to Ashton about what she was feeling and she needed to do it in person. There was no way she was going to talk to him about it on the phone.
Nick sat in the mixing room of an Atlanta recording studio, listening to Brian and Kevin as they recorded the tracks to one of the guys' songs. AJ and Howie had left to go get them some lunch and all Nick could think about was getting the track finished. He was determined to get the track finished. He hated the song, but Kevin insisted that they record it. That's why he wanted to finish so badly.
They had just came from L.A. to finish up recording in Atlanta so that Brian could be closer to home to spend Christmas with his son. He had invited Nick to stay over for the holidays but Nick hadn't decided what he was going to do yet.
"Hey Nick, we just heard on the radio that Harley was rushed to the doctor today," AJ said as he and Howie brought in Wendy's for the five of them. "You heard anything?"
"Are you serious?" Nick asked, standing up from his seat, totally forgetting that Brian was recording in the sound booth. "What else did they say?"
"Some nurse called into the radio station saying that Harley Harper was rushed to see her doctor today and that she had passed out," Howie said as Nick took his cell phone out of his pocket. "What?"
"Atlanta, right? It was an Atlanta station you were listening to?" Nick asked as both Howie and AJ nodded. Nick sat back down, and began texting her.
"Just get some rest," Harley's father said as Harley crawled into her bed and laid down. She watched her father walk over, closing the blinds on her windows to make the room a little darker. "I'll get these filled today. Just relax, okay?"
"Okay, Daddy," she smiled, hearing her phone vibrate. Jon reached for the cell phone and Harley grabbed it from it, seeing that it was a message from Nick. "Its okay, Daddy." She watched her father walk out of her room and opened the message from Nick.
Heard u passed out on the radio. R u okay? Im in ATL if u need anything.
Nick jumped, feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket. He smiled, seeing that Harley had replied.
Having bad migraines, causing problems with my blood pressure. Too much stress. I could really use a friend right now to talk.
"Guys, I've got to go," he said, standing up and putting his phone back in his pocket. "I'm being summoned by Harley Harper and when she says come, I come..." He paused, realizing what he said and looked at AJ who had a grin on his face. "Shut up, AJ."
Before any of the guys could say anything, Nick was out the door, putting on his jacket.
Nick pulled into Harley's driveway and sighed, seeing a huge pick-up truck with an Alabama license plate. Jon Harper was here with his daughter. Nick sat behind the wheel of his rental car and took a deep breath. He hadn't seen Jon Harper since he broke his daughter's heart and if he had to get punched in order to see Harley, then so be it.
Before Nick could even get out of his car, he noticed Jon opening the front door, glaring at him.
"Nick Carter, what are you doing here?" he asked as Nick shut his car door and started walking to the house slowly. "Harley should really change that security code."
"Harley asked me to come, sir," Nick said, putting his hands in his pockets due to the cold wind that was blowing. "I was in Atlanta working with my group and heard she got sick and so I texted her to find out if she was okay."
"I didn't realize you two were talking again," Jon said as Nick slowly walked up steps to the front porch.
"We haven't really," Nick said, reaching the top step where he stood face to face with her father. "We caught up in London back in July and talked some and that was it."
"She's in her bedroom, lying down," Jon said as Nick nodded. "She doesn't need any stress so don't stress her out and keep an eye out for me. I'm going to go get her medicine filled at the pharmacy."
"Yes, sir," Nick said as Jon walked past him down the steps. Nick walked towards the front door of the house and looked back at Harley's father as he got into his truck. Huh, he didn't get punched after all.
Nick smiled, walking into the house and shut the door. Harley had the entire house decorated for Christmas, including a huge Christmas tree in the living room. He took a minute to look around and started walking up the stairs slowly, wondering why Harley wanted him of all people to come over.
"Knock knock," Nick said, opening Harley's bedroom door and smiled, seeing her sit up in bed. "Hey. I came over as soon as you texted me." He walked over, sitting down on the edge of her bed and noticed that her eyes looked glassy. "Migraine right now?"
"Yeah," she smiled weakly. "My blood pressure got too high today from all the stress and I passed out."
"What kind of stress?" he asked, watching her play with her engagement ring. "Writing again?" She nodded, not looking up at him. "Ashton?"
"I've barely seen him since August," Harley said, looking up at Nick. "He's so busy and things are just kind of awkward between us right now."
"Honestly, when I saw you two at the awards last month, I noticed you guys seemed a little off," Nick said as Harley nodded. "So, are you reconsidering everything?"
"I wanted to talk to you about it because we've already discussed Ashton and why I wanted to marry him," she said as he sighed. "I'm not going to lie and say that what you said to me in London didn't make me think."
"What part?"
"About how I shouldn't settle for someone that just makes me happy," she said as he smiled.
"And?" Nick asked.
"If I was so happy and so in love, then why can't I write any songs about what I feel for him?" she whispered, wiping tears from her eyes. "Nick, I've tried so hard to write songs about Ashton and I can't. I could write songs about you so easily. I can't write anything for him and do you know how bad that makes me feel since I've written one about you for this album because of those two days in London and nothing for him?"
Nick swallowed hard, not knowing what to say to her. What could he say to her? That she was finally realizing what a mistake marrying Ashton was?
"Is that what you've been stressing about?" Nick asked as Harley shook her head. He scooted closer to her and she leaned over, wrapping her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. "Then babe, then you need to tell him how you feel. Don't drag it out like I did with you about being scared. Just let him know, I mean, maybe he feels the same way."
"I love him, Nick, but I don't think I love him the way I should," she whispered, feeling him kiss the side of her head and rubbing her back slowly. "It's just been eating me up inside," she said, backing away from the hug. "And I'm sure you just love this."
"Not at all," he said as he smiled slightly. "I don't like to see you upset, and you know that."
"My head is starting to pound now that I'm thinking about this stuff," she muttered, putting her hands over her eyes.
"Why don't you just lay down and rest some. Your Dad is off getting your medicine," he said as she laid back, resting her head on her pillow. Nick pulled the cover up on her, covering her up. "Just don't try to think about that stuff."
"Will you stay until I wake up?" she asked as he nodded.
"I'll just go downstairs and watch some TV or something," he said as she smiled. He stood up from her bed and walked out of her room slowly, smiling as he shut the door softly. He backed away from it and began walking down the stairs, pausing when he saw someone opening the door. He knew her father couldn't have been back that quickly.
Then he saw who it was – Ashton.