thanks so much for 5k everyone, you guys all deserve the absolute world!
C H A P T E R
TWENTY-TWO:
Taehyung awoke the next day with Jungkook sleeping soundly on his chest. Immediate flashbacks erupt in his fuzzy mind as he realises what exactly went on between the two boys. Taehyung looks down at the messy tufts of Jungkook's brown hair. He smiles softly, playing with Jungkook's hair. Jungkook shifts in his sleep, but doesn't wake up, snuggling closer to Taehyung's warm chest. Taehyung's heart softens as he sees how much he missed the boy in the last ten years.
But like everything, the harsh truth slaps in you in the face. Nothing lasts forever. So when Taehyung started basking in the happiness that Jungkook and himself we're finally getting somewhere, the cold, hard truth followed in its wake. Jungkook was going to regret this? Wasn't he? Taehyung knew Jungkook. Jungkook was going to push him away the minute he woke up, and then two were going to be hurt. And they wouldn't talk. And everything was going to fall back so square one. Sighing, Taehyung pushes Jungkook off of his chest gently, making sure to not wake the smaller boy up.
What was Taehyung going to do to protect his heart?
Run away? Leave? Ignore Jungkook back?
Taehyung, in that moment, realises how much of a coward he was being. But in truth, being a coward was the only way to protect his heart for the time being. Until he knew what to do. Taehyung pulls on his top that was thrown onto the floor, he takes a step forward, but looks back at Jungkook, sadness for the future twinkling in his eyes. So the blue eyed boy walks closer to the bed, covering Jungkook with the duvet, so he doesn't get cold, closing the window just to make sure.
He then heads out, not looking back. As soon as the door closes behind him, he leans against it, eyes shut tightly. He lets out a breath he didn't even know he was holding, running a hand through his messy, morning hair before he sits upright.
One thing that Taehyung knew for sure was that he'd let Jungkook sort out his own thoughts, his own feelings before he ambushed Jungkook with his thoughts.
"How can I regret something I'm asking for?"
Taehyung shakes the thought out of his mind, because he had already woken up and smelt the coffee. Jungkook had uttered those words the night before but Taehyung already knew the truth. Jungkook was going to run away. He was going to go back to his friends and act like nothing had occurred between the two. And most importantly he was going to continue to get closer to Lucas because Lucas was a new friend, and Jungkook wasn't going to give up an opportunity of making a friend.
Sighing, Taehyung weaves his way through the many hallways of the dorms, finding himself in front of a familiar door. He knocks on the door, waiting a few moments. He knocks again, but this time harder. And still, there's no answer. He knocks (more like bangs) one last time on the door until finally, a groggy, messy haired Yoongi opens the door, a yawn caught through his lips, "get whatever you need and fuck off," he says bluntly, dragging Taehyung by the shirt before slamming the door.
Jimin, who was sleeping on the same bed as Yoongi sits up, holding the duvet up to his chest, the sleep still evident in his eyes. Taehyung looks around, seeing clothes littered everywhere, and then it comes to him, "you guys did it? Didn't you?" He says, sitting on the neat bed across Jimin.
Yoongi's feet shuffles before he falls face first onto the bed next to Jimin, falling fast asleep in a matter of seconds. Jimin laughs, "what me and Yoongi do in our private time, does not concern you Taehyung," Jimin scolds, almost like a parent. After a few seconds of silence, Jimin sniggers, "but yeah we totally did it."
He then pulls on a shirt, before sitting upright against the headboard, "so why are you currently here, in our room at ‘ass o'clock’ talking to my sleep deprived head ass?" Jimin questions, playing with Yoongi's hair, who was sleeping soundly beside him.
Taehyung plays with his fingers, not knowing how to tell his best friend's the truth, "I did.. something last night...and I don't know if it's something good, or bad." Jimin frowns, reaching down to pull on his sweatpants, after tugging them on he gets up, "what do you mean? And what did you do?"
"Well...you know how you and Yoongi did it?" Jimin narrows his eyes in suspicion, tidying his room up a bit, like folding some clothes away, and closing the suitcases, "...yeah?" Taehyung averts his eyes from Jimin's curious ones, "well...I also kind of did it.." he says softly, almost like a whisper.
Jimin immediately scoffs, "oh yeah and what slut did you find to blow you off?" Jimin chuckles, trying to contain his laughter, Taehyung tries to speak but Jimin continues, "seriously Taehyung, it's like one thing goes wrong in your life and you're just like, ‘oh okay, let me sleep with a girl to control my temper’ and that is seriously not okay. Think about how many feelings you're hurting when you're out there doing stupid shit."
Taehyung opens his mouth to speak but once again Jimin interjects.
"No! You are going to listen to me! And you are going to listen good. You are not only hurting others in the process of being stupid but you're also evidently hurting yourself. So for god's sake Taehyung can you just admit that you love Jungkook and fuck him backwards already because I'm tired of hearing for thousandth time that you don't know how to feel. This is real life! Not a goddamn shitty book that 14 year old is writing! So figure it out Taehyung. Because it seems a lot like we've already figured it out for you."
Taehyung falls silent before he says, "it was Jungkook...I was intimate with him."
"What?!?!" Jimin and Yoongi both say out loud.
Well,at least Yoongi was fully awake now.
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Jimin pauses, pacing back and forth, "so you mean to tell me, that you were upset with him, so you fucked him?" Jimin hisses.
Jimin loved Taehyung, the two were best friends for nearly all of their lives. Of course (and this happened eventually, not right away) Taehyung had mentioned what had happened with his ex best friend Jungkook but he had never experienced the tables turning until a few weeks ago.
And even though Taehyung was a smart, bright kid, god was he so slow to catch onto his own feelings. But when he was able too, he was too goddamn bipolar to realise what he was feeling. It had always been that way with Taehyung.
Yoongi reaches out for Jimin, pulling the boy down onto their bed, before sitting up, "Taehyung, why don't you explain what happened, and did you really just ruin your first time with Jungkook?"
Taehyung sighs, his face falling into his hands as he groans and speaks some incoherent words. He waits a moment before saying, "no. We didn't have sex. We just did some stuff. And I don't know how to feel."
Jimin sighs, walking over to sit next to Taehyung while Yoongi quickly decided to change. "Well what did Jungkook say before you quickly ran here to tell us." Taehyung doesn't say anything, his eyes cast down, trying to avoid Jimin's worried eyes. Jimin frowns before he quickly catches on, "wait, you did wait for Jungkook to wake up and talk to him...didn't you?" He asks, just trying to make sure.
Taehyung groans, shaking his head.
Jimin scoffs loudly, "so you just left the poor boy sleeping and most importantly alone? Taehyung!" Jimin decides to scold Taehyung again. Taehyung falls silent, knowing that whatever Jimin was saying, was true. But he couldn't bring himself to walk out of that room, and run to Jungkook.
Because the fear of being left again still remained in his tainted heart. The fear of pushing Jungkook away and then regretting it grew stronger than the feelings he had for the boy, and he still didn't have a cure to fight it.
"Taehyung. You say that you don't want to push Jungkook away, but by doing this, letting your fears get the best of you, you're doing what you did all of those years ago," Yoongi says softly, placing his soft hand on Taehyung's broad shoulder. Taehyung looks up at Yoongi with a sad look in his eyes, "how do I fight it?"
"Fight what?"
"Fight my fears."
Jimin shrugs, "well, I wouldn't know what to say other than...you don't. You let those fears convert into the love you have for him. And I know you're scared, and I know he's definitely going to be scared. But Taehyung, we've been saying this all along. Talk to him. Please. Before you fears become true and you're left alone. And this time, you won't ever get him back because your brought it upon yourself."
Taehyung stands up, "so what? I just go over there and tell him feelings...I don't even know what I feel for him."
"Yes you do Taehyung. You're just too much of a pussy to admit it," Yoongi says, laughing a little bit. Taehyung chuckles, yup, that he was.
"I don't want you staying in my room for another minute. I want you gone. And I want you to go admit your feelings that you pent up for all those years. And when we go on our hike in a few hours, I want to see you two walking hand in hand otherwise I will literally come for your throat. You got what I'm trying to say Taehyung?" Jimin threatens, a slight teasing smile on his lips.
Taehyung laughs a little bit, grateful for his best friends that were always able to get him back on track, even if sometimes he was severely confused with Jimin's and Yoongi's advice, he always figured it out in the end because he was too scared to ask again.
Jimin was scary. And Yoongi was...lazy.
Taehyung takes his leave, deciding to get Jungkook some morning coffee to wake up to. Taehyung knew that he has feelings for the smaller boy. And every passing day he spent trying to avoid Jungkook, he knew that he was going to end up alone, and losing Jungkook. So he decides to make it right.
He decides to make Jungkook feel loved. Give Jungkook a proper explanation. And give Jungkook the closure he's wanted for ten years.
And that made Taehyung kind of happy. A fleeting feeling lifting from his heart and in place of a that a warm, tingly sensation that made home want to jump up with joy. Of course it had taken way too long, and too many lectures from Jimin to realise it, but in the end it was all going to be so worth it.
However, the blue eyed boy couldn't help but wonder what things would be like if it all had been planned out differently. Would Taehyung and Jungkook be happy? Or did this need to happen so that the two could become closer than ever?
With the silly thing called fate, you didn't really know anything. And when you looked back, fate really was more confusing than the future.
So that's why, when Taehyung had walked into his room to find Jungkook gone, he had completely regretted all of his actions that he had did from the waking minute. So that's why when he tried calling Jungkook, getting no answer, he had been so confused on what would happen later on in the day.
It was now clear to Taehyung that fate clearly despised destiny, and the two, very obviously didn't work well together to give Taehyung and Jungkook the happiness they wanted.
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hey guys, sorry for the shitty update, my mind's been feeling under the weather lately so I haven't been able to write this chapter properly.
I also find it very hard to explain emotions properly especially in Taehyung's perspective since I'm so used to writing in Jungkook's one. So please forgive me
I am now working on two books along side this one, so please bare with the chapters. Near the end of this book, I will ask you guys which book you want me to publish, and then follow what you all want! xx hope you love it.
Also, if you want me to follow you on insta, drop it on this comments section or private message and I'll be sure to follow you !
Please vote and comment like always, and be sure to stay safe everyone!