Thanks for reading
—**
Tifa's POV
Things have been so troublesome lately I hardly have had time to write...so much has happened...
But I'll write what I can...provided if we aren't running from Pinkertons
-*
September 1, 1899
We've been at Beavers hollow in Roanoke ridge close to intoxicating polluted mining town of annesburg for a week now, it was not the safest place to hold up...since the murderous inbred murfree killers were abundant here. I was told to not go past further than the river by Dutch, besides the missions we would go on, he wouldn't allow me to leave the camp, for my safety.
Just at the right time. It was sunset, Dutch and I went out for a ride alone to a place a bit far away from where the camp was where the most abundant of flowers were and I was pleasantly surprised at the sight
(AN: I'm not making this place up there is area where a huge field of flowers are, at sunset is when I first found it. Anyways this place is just a bit a ways from Annesburg, it's somewhere above grizzlies west and where a dinosaur bone is..)
Dutch helped Tifa off her horse and he stepped over to a boulder to lean his hand against quietly
"Wow, this place is beautiful, Dutch" Tifa complimented in awe, as the many small flowers blew in the gentle breeze. Their colors were all so vibrant and pretty especially with the sunset shining it's last rays on them all.
"I wanted to spend time away, just you and I and finding this place seemed like perfect timing, I'd say" he said solemnly, not looking her way, Tifa was bent down in the flowers on the grass, listening to him and a small smile graced her lips along with her cheeks becoming warm
"That's sweet of you...Dutch" she said softly as her fingers brushed against the soft petals
When it was quiet for a good minute, Tifa looked at Dutch seeing him now with his arms over the other as he silently watched the mountains nearby, she reached up to touch his ring on her necklace as she stood up. She could see that he was deep in thought about everything, what his next move was...but he always seemed to be miles away nowadays and not even this time away from the camp would ease him of his pressures
'Even without you saying a word...I can see your mask slipping more and more...' Tifa thought to herself
"I know things have continued to be tough right now, Tifa..." he started, as he moved his arms to his sides turned to face her and walked closer then placed his hands on her shoulders "But...Stand by me...like you did in Saint Denis...Guarma...in the past..." Tifa slightly shook her head to his words and touched his hand
"I will...Dutch, you don't have to repeat yourself..." she said, looking into his eyes which seemed ever more vulnerable and insecure "I will always be at your side, supporting you in any way I can"
Hearing that, Dutch then rubbed her cheek gently and nodded to her "thank you...I-I know I can trust you at least, I'm just making sure..I don't know who I can trust in the gang anymore, but hearing you say this assures me a lot, Tifa"
Touching his wrist, Tifa smiled slightly at him, she had to keep him calm for the moment and if all it took was simple true words of reassurance then she'd gladly do it for him "it's going to be alright, I promise" she said
Dutch looked on at her fondly as the petals from the flowers blew up around them "I love you, Tifa..." he muttered as his lips kissed hers briefly but gently
"I love you, Dutch" Tifa hummed softly to him, he went close to embrace her firmly "please...just allow me to hold you til I choose to let g...—" Dutch stopped mid word as he closed his eyes
"...I hope that won't be any time soon..." she whispered, not caring if she was being clingy, she missed his touch...
"No my dear, never" Dutch said shaking his head a little as his hand went on her hair, Tifa hugged him back with her face looking sad and concerned as they stood in each other's embrace
Right at that shudder in his voice and the way he hugged me
Something was wrong...
I wondered what was eating him...we talked for a long while that day and that confirmed things would be bumpy in the coming weeks as well as between us...I could already tell
———
Well...it was starting to get colder now, but anything was better than being near Saint Denis, where it was hot, and muggy. coupled with terrible memories, among other things that went on there...I hate thinking of my brothers being gone...it all seemed like a terrible nightmare I'm not waking up from.
Arthur is an amazing friend to me, I was the first one to notice his change in health rather quickly...since my grandfather died from tuberculosis, so I decided to heal Arthur so he could avoid that gruesome fate and I am still doing the treatment til he is no longer sick....I don't want to lose him like I lost my brothers, it was a different scenario but still...I really care for Arthur a lot
So, After everyone eventually gathered at beaver hollow, I noticed the gang seemed so empty,...lifeless now that I look at who remains, I don't like it at all and it makes me depressed.
We lost so many of our friends...
I try to distract myself and take care of my sister to make sure she is safe, eating and is happy so I can carry the heavy burden of this situation and of our brothers being gone, Nora plays with Jack but I can see the sadness in both of them.
Sometimes I wonder if Dutch will keep the promises we made to each other? He just seems different...more unstable somehow. Those that remain, seem more hostile and unfriendly than before. Nobody trusted anyone due to those doubting Dutch...
Tifa looked troubled as she drew Dutch's face, once she was done she continued writing
Micah is poisoning him with his stupid, dangerous ideas and Dutch is agreeing with everything without question, while I am trying my best to stay near Dutch and sway him into doing something less harmful...because if I don't, Micah is always there...I never really paid him no mind in the past...but now, he seems more creepier, more threatening, in a way. That speck of light in Dutch's eyes is shrouded heavily thanks to Micah. He stresses me out like no other, what exactly is Micah truly after?
Drawing Micah with his hat concealing his eyes, Tifa sighed tensely as she continued
My relationship with Dutch has always been complicated, secretive and is something I will never regret. ...In some ways, he can be such a good man, but it's rare to see nowadays. I haven't told him the new development with me yet...I am pregnant with his child, the first one to know was Mary Beth, soon Nora...Then John and Arthur and I have been wanting to tell Dutch for a long time but...I don't want to put more stress on him.
When Micah's off somewhere finally, and it's just me and Dutch, he tells me he blames himself for everyone we had lost including my brothers and of course, I tell him that it wasn't his fault, I try my best to console him and I used that time to tell him more easier ways to deal with the plans he and Micah were talking of, and Dutch would agree with me and him being the boss, Micah begrudgingly went along with it, which I could tell he despised me for. I hated that he knew about our relationship and always mumbling nasty things underneath that horseshoe stache of his. He is not my friend nor ally, really. Heaven forbid we would have decent interactions either
When things didn't go as he said or planned, I know Micah hates me, and I don't care, I won't allow him to mislead the man I love.
I avoid eye contact, and I can feel Micah's intense glaring on me, cause he knows I see right past his bullshit.
Dutch once again defends me from him and I can see Micah is getting very frustrated.
Oh Dutch...
...I want to see those beautiful brown eyes of his be filled with hope and assurance that happiness is in our future...but I am running out of time...
—-
Regular POV**
Tifa placed a hand against her stomach briefly then glanced up to look at Dutch a little bit away from her he was reading his book, so it was a perfect moment to admire his person. It was times like this that she wanted to be next to him, but she understood they had to still keep their relationship on the down low for the moment even though those with sense could see how they looked at each other from afar and acted.
John, Arthur, Marybeth, Nora and maybe a few others knew already. Tifa tore her eyes away from Dutch and put her writing utensils and journal into her satchel as a friendly bark got her attention and saw Cain came up to her wagging his tail happily, Tifa gave him a smile "hey you" she reached over and gave him a small scratch behind his ear which he always enjoyed, he made a satisfied groan as his little pink tongue hung out slightly as his back paw scratched the dirt and leafs below "good boy" Tifa said softly as she now petted his back, he soon sat at her feet, as Nora fed Faith some carrots, and let out a giggle when she licked her hand, tickling her
"Hey, haha" Nora giggled and petted Faith's nose, Tifa saw and just smiled silently at her sister having fun and showing a smile after all that has happened, then her eyes caught the sight of an approaching Arthur and his horse, upon noticing Tifa, he tipped his hat to her as she smiled and waved at him, Arthur waved to Nora too who waved back to him
"Hi, uncle Arthur!!" She excitedly announced getting the attention of Dutch who closed his book and stood up, he took up a cigarette and lit it as Arthur approached him
"How'd you get on?" He asked
"Okay. Found a girl, took her home"
"Oh"
"You, Tifa and Micah find anything?"
"Maybe. Turns out, Lovely Tifa saw our friend Leviticus Cornwall, brought it to my attention"
"Hmp" Arthur said as he spat on the ground, giving Tifa a quick glance then back to Dutch
"He is in the area, purchasing a stake in a Annesburg mine, we're gonna go and check in on what his other plans are and if he knows we're here"
Arthur nodded "relentlessly ambitious feller ain't he?"
"So are we, it's convenient timing I'd say" Dutch said as he took a puff of his cigarette he noticed Tifa walk up to them with Nora in hand, he glanced her up and down briefly and closed his eyes as he pulled the cigarette away from his lips, like always, Tifa was smothered in his thoughts. Dutch then reopened them hearing an unlikely voice go off as he blew out smoke and tossed it at the dirt
"So Dutch!"
Tifa's eyes widened before looking her way, she didn't think Molly would come back, she moved her right hand up a little and pulled the ends of her poncho more below her stomach which was starting to show a small baby bump, Arthur glanced at her then back to Molly
"Did you miss me?" she asked, stumbling toward the five of them with uncle taking a few steps forward with her as well
'No, not really' Tifa thought
"I found her, drunk in Saint Denis" uncle said to Dutch, who didn't seem to care where she was to begin with
"You're back, how jolly, miss O'Shea" Dutch greeted as the drunken red head interrupted him in a slurred yelling voice, as she stepped on Cains paw, he let out a yelp of pain and Tifa immediately felt sad for him
"Hey..." she said sadly but not loud enough for her to hear
"Out of my way you disgusting beast!" and right on cue Cain growled at her but he was right to, either he smelt something on her or hurting him, Tifa was glad he defended himself, Nora ran to the poor dog and hugged him, Bill gestured her to go back to her sister with him and she did just that, Tifa shot him a friendly smile and he nodded his head to her, Tifa kneeled down to Cain with Nora who was petting his chest and Tifa rubbed his stepped on paw gently, Dutch glanced at them then back to Molly
"It's Molly, you sack of shit!"
"—Back and drunk" Dutch talked over her as she rambled on
Tifa's eyes followed Molly as her slurred speech continued on: berating him for ignoring her and soon dropping her for Tifa
"You! The lord, the master—always get yer way"
"Molly, calm down" Dutch said with his annoyance showing, Tifa stood up and went near Dutch
"I won't be ignored Dutch Van Der Linde, I aren't him, any of your stooges and I ain't her: this good for nothing trollop whore!" Molly rasply growled as she pointed at Tifa and Dutch's eyes narrowed angrily at Molly, Tifa glared right back at her as she continued on
"Calm yourself, miss, this second!"
"Haha, always so quick to come to her defense! You don't owe me nothin! I see it clear now! I don't owe you nothin! Nothin!"
"Okay!" Dutch said looking at her with a very annoyed expression
"I spit in your eye I did, I told them!"
Tifa raised her eyebrows as Dutch looked at Molly
What was she referring to...she couldn't have been
Tifa forced herself to continue listening to Molly
"I'm sorry?" Dutch asked, his tone now dangerously low
"Yeah, I told them, I tell him again, now I've got gods ear!"
"You told who, what??" Dutch demanded, his tone of voice making Tifa's heart hammer with anxiety
"Mister...Milton and mister Ross, about the bank robbery, gave Bronte the location of the whores little brother, and I wanted them to kill you, and her!"
"It was you?!" Tifa asked shocked, Nora was at her side clinging to her pant leg as Tifa calmly placed her hand on Nora's shoulder and Dutch's anger rose even more as his hand hovered over his gun
"You did what?!" He yelled as he drew his revolver to point it at Molly quick in rage
"I loved you, you goddamn bastard, go on shoot me!"
Great way to show it, you dumb woman
"How dare you..." Tifa whispered in anger "what gave you the right to put an innocent little boy in danger, over something you only assumed was happening, you stupid bitch?!"
"Ah, shut your mouth you man thief! Nobody ever asked you to join this gang! I wish you died in that bank!" Molly slurred as she drunkly pointed at her, cackling drunkly as Nora looked down sadly, Tifa became flustered "I'll do it a thousand times, to make ya feel pain again"
Tifa didn't steal Dutch, he came to her, same as when he asked her to join this gang and for the record she didn't want to get in between Molly and him. But their "relationship" didn't matter much to Dutch so Tifa took a chance with him
"You vile..." she whispered, breathing in anger as she moved her sister to turn away slowly when Dutch suddenly stepped in front of her to shield her from Molly's approaching hand to hit her and he blocked her with his arm, and pushed her back
"Miss O'Shea" he growled in anger "Do not call Ms Duffy vulgar names, that will not be tolerated just as your grave mistake you made" when Molly stumbled back, he glanced at Tifa and their eyes met briefly then he looked at the red head, her misty eyes glared at Tifa
"What does she have that I don't, huh?? Tell me!"
"Absolutely everything!" Dutch yelled, Tifa glanced at Dutch then down feeling a small smile sneak across her lips, it didn't matter if it was Micah, Dutch would always stick up for her, against anyone...
"You told on me, you betrayed me?!"
"Arh, not so big now are ya?" Molly mumbled in rambles at Dutch as Arthur approached him and lead his gun down "she's crazy, she ain't worth it"
But Molly kept on rambling, Tifa felt so bad for Dutch, with all that's going on this was the last thing he needed, but she tried to keep her self control up as she listened on to Arthur saying quiet to Molly and tried to reason with Dutch into letting her go away. Tifa then felt pain in her stomach and slightly flinched forward but kept quiet. MaryBeth noticed and approached Tifa putting a comforting hand on her shoulder
"Keep calm, Tifa" she reminded her, being aware of the baby, Tifa glanced at her and nodded slightly, Nora looked at them both with a worried expression
"Arthur?" Dutch questioned
"She's a fool. Get her out of here"
Dutch's fist tightened "You know the rules!" His voice boomed
Arthur was quiet as he glanced at Tifa and Dutch narrowed his eyes back to Molly
"Not so big now, are we ya majesty??"
The nerve of this desperate woman, if she wanted his attention so bad this was a horrible way to demand it, betrayal of this gang would lead to death and hatred, not to mention, her being the cause of her little brothers demise made Dutch extremely angry
"You—" he cut himself off as a gun shot rang through the air, making Tifa cover Nora's eyes as she turned her away from a now dying Molly, after gasping she clasped to the ground dead
Tifa looked at her corpse and blood pooled out coloring the dirt and grass and glanced at Grimshaw who cocked her shot gun
"She knew the rules, Arthur what the hell's wrong with you?"
"There are children here, Grimshaw, Nora and Jack don't need to be seeing that!" Tifa yelled
"Well they gotta grow up sometime, Miss Duffy!"
Dutch raised his hand in the air "Enough! Everybody hear me now, if any one of you think of raising a hand to Ms Duffy or her sister you will be out of this community permanently with a bullet, we clear?"
Everyone murmured among themselves in slight agreement and Dutch turned to Tifa and placed his hand on her arm gently as their eyes met for a moment, and Tifa brushed her fingers against his hand then looked at Nora again "Nora, let's get back to the tent" She said in a calm voice, taking her small hand while still covering her eyes so her side vision didn't see Molly's bloody corpse and lead her away back to her tent, with Cain tailing behind them as well, both Dutch and Arthur looked at her and Arthur walked in the opposite direction and Dutch went back to his own tent as Grimshaw started to bark orders
"mister Pierson, mister Williamson, get this body outta here and get it burnt. The rest of you get back to work now! Quit your lollygaggin!"
Tifa uncovered Nora's eyes as they entered the tent and she covered the flap to it, letting Cain in too
"Sis...was that all true what she said..?" Nora whispered as Cain went up to her and rest his head on her leg
Tifa sighed softly feeling her eyes warm up with tears "yes...I'm sorry, you had to witness that....I'm so sorry for a lot of things, Nora"
Nora sat on her cot and looked down "I-I miss Derek and Kieran" she whimpered as her hand sadly touched Cain's head and Tifa looked at her sadly
"I do too" Tifa whispered to her "I wish things could have been different but I don't regret being with Dutch, Nora...I love him"
Nora nodded to her, as Cain perked up his ears, a soft knock sounded off, Tifa opened the flap and saw Mary Beth with the saddest look on her face having heard that little bit of their conversation
"She doesn't blame you for this, Tifa..." Tifa stepped to the side to let her walk in and she sat next to Nora, who hugged her immediately, she moved her fingers through her short dark brown hair in comfort
"I can't believe this is happening" Marybeth spoke up, Tifa curled her lip "seems like I don't know anybody here besides you and Arthur"
"....I—I can't either...Molly...she...always did know..." Tifa said as her voice stuttered and she balled her fists "and Derek paid the price for it"
Marybeth looked at Tifa with tears now flowing from her eyes
"It's my fault, Marybeth...all of this it's..."
Nora looked up at her sister and both she and Marybeth stood up and gave Tifa a comforting hug In silence, Marybeth rubbed Tifa's back gently
"Listen...why don't you go for a walk to clear your head, the negative emotion is pressure on your body and it's not good for the baby, Tifa...I'll look after Nora" Mary Beth suggested
Tifa looked down at her round stomach and placed her hand on it and breathed out a tense sigh
"Okay....if Dutch or John or even Arthur come by..."
"Don't you worry, I'll tell them" Mary Beth assured her and Tifa gave her a meek smile as Nora held the sheathed knife, which was Kieran's and held it tightly, looking down "please be careful like I am, sis...I don't want to lose you too"
Tifa went to her and kissed her head then stepped back to the flap "of course I will, stay with MaryBeth and look out for Cain"
Nora looked at her sister and nodded with a teary expression and laid down on her cot, covering herself with her blanket, MaryBeth sat down on a stool As Tifa walked out, she placed her hand on the metal bar holding the tent and sighed softly before walking away to Faith
—1/2 hour later
It was nearing sunset and Tifa was still out, a little ways from the camp, to clear her head. no one could see her thanks to the trees and she was extremely grateful for that, she arrived at the stream and looked at the rushing water go on near a waterfall, a few tears fell down her cheeks to the dirt at her feet as she kneeled down
All this...Poor Derek...Hosea...Lenny
She then wiped her cheeks, hearing twigs and bushes ruffling behind her. Her hand hovered over her gun, as she sniffed softly and looked back to see Dutch look at her with remorse in his eyes, she slightly smiled at him moving her hand away from her gun and stood up fast
"Dutch! Um....hey" she said surprised for a moment
"I was wondering where you went, Nora and MaryBeth, told me...are you alright?"
Tifa nodded to him then drifted her eyes back to the flowing water
"Y-yeah, just...needed t—I'm...I'm sorry I made you worry, Dutch" she whimpered as the sad lump in her throat made her voice shake
"We are partners, don't feel like you're worthless to me and what's more: You are the last person who needs to apologize my darling, you've done nothing wrong"
Despite his sweet words, Tifa looked down sadly "ah...I meant...I didn't mean to leave camp like that...I just wanted some quiet..."
Dutch put his hand up slightly "you don't have to explain, Tifa" he said as he approached her from behind and ran his hand down her dark brown hair from shoulder to mid back tenderly and snaked his arms around her waist, and his hands rested on her stomach "if anything, I am the one who is sorry, I am continuing to cause you so much turmoil, and I'm so ashamed"
Tifa shook her head to him as her hands rubbed his arms, leaning in his embrace "Dutch...I knew from the very beginning what I was getting into but at the same time I knew what I wanted as well..."
Dutch glanced at her as she continued "I wanted to be by your side..." she whispered "I still do and I want you to feel assured that I won't abandon you"
Feeling slight shivers come on her arms from the breeze of wind, she leaned her head against his shoulder and her hands drifted to his hands, closing her eyes as Dutch spoke "I know you won't" Dutch said, Tifa looked at him as he spoke up again
"What I said back at camp, I meant it fiercely, Tifa...I won't allow anybody to disrespect you" his deep voice mumbled softly as Tifa rubbed her thumb against his hand for a few moments "thank you...for that and saying it for Nora as well" feeling happy he stood up for them once again and basically breaking the silence on their relationship, Tifa spoke softly "Same for you..." Dutch kissed her forehead gently
After a few moments Tifa spoke up
"...I can't believe she did that" She whispered to him as their eyes met "...even though she was right, about us...Derek, Hosea and Lenny did not have to pay with their lives"
"I know...that woman couldn't care less about the consequences, but Tifa, despite everything, I don't regret anything with you and I" Dutch confessed as Tifa had a surprised expression on her face
"I told Nora that too...and I meant every word, Dutch..." she whispered as he held her close to him "Tifa, let's not waste any more thoughts over that heinous woman, we don't need to concern ourselves with her no more" Dutch took her hand and brought it up to his lips and kissed it tenderly "don't forget, we'll be running far away together..."
Tifa nodded to him and touched his cheek "you and me..." she softly said
Dutch nuzzled her shoulder slightly "soon...it will be alright and I thought a lot about what you said about Micah...you were right..I'm just dreadfully sorry it took this long..." he said, Tifa widened her eyes and a sweet smile appeared on her lips "You saw then..."
"Yes, and I have a plan...for him, so don't you worry about a thing" he said, as Tifa nodded to him, he kissed her shoulder and brought their hands down back upon her stomach "Things may become harder in the next few days but it's all necessary...whatever happens" he assured her, she looked at him and their eyes met, she once again wondered what he meant by that...but she had to trust him..her eyes watered up as she smiled and Dutch returned it.
he leaned close to her and they shared a passionate kiss, After a few moments they pulled away and Tifa closed her eyes, leaning her head against his chest, Dutch leaned his chin against her hair, and his hands returned on her stomach
*kick*
Tifa's eyes bolted open and moved away as Dutch looked at her
"Was that your hand just now?" He asked, Tifa sighed softly, she had the chance to tell him now, so she chose to be brave
"No, it wasn't...Dutch, I h—" a few bushes near them sounded off and they looked to see Arthur
"I'm sorry, but we got company, Dutch" he said, Dutch nodded to him and glanced at Tifa
"Was..this...?"
Tifa nodded to him "Yes..." she whispered, Dutch nodded back and held her hand
"You tell me everything later" he said in a serious voice
"mmhm" she nodded to him, as Dutch let her hand go and walked back to camp, Arthur being a few feet behind Dutch gave Tifa a knowing glance and she glanced at Arthur briefly before he walked away with her close behind, Tifa looked down at her stomach, as her hand slid under her poncho and gave a gentle rub to the little one inside her
He'll know soon...
—
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