A/N: It's so exciting watching this book grow!! Thank you for all the votes, comments and adding to reading lists. It makes me so happy reading your comment and I can't thank you enough!
*Play song now: Ready Now by Dodie*
It's him. It's really him. What is he doing here? He could be anywhere in the world right now but instead, he is staring right at me on the cobblestone pavement of a Parisian main street. The warm breeze flows through the street and blows gently at my hair, tousling softly at his white tee shirt. I stand there looking at him and he is looking at me. His green eyes gazing into my own in the best way possible. Right from the start its always been those damn green eyes of his.
"Tilly!" He says as he jogs over to me and wraps his arms around me, and I wrap my arms around his neck. I feel him pull me in tighter and he doesn't let go. I could stand here forever in this little street, street artists playing guitar basking for money and the sound of busy coffee shops, the scent of daisies and flowers intoxicate my nose and I feel every worry I had slip away because he's here now and he's with me. If I hadn't of accepted Montelle's cigarette I wouldn't have seen him and that scares me very much. Its little things like that I think about a lot.
"You look great! And you cut your hair I can't believe it!" I say as I look at his moussey brown hair as it hides behind a red bandana. He smiles at me and it makes my heart melt.
"Oh stop!" He says playfully and we laugh, delirious at how obviously happy to see one another we are.
"I guess it was just time for a change." He says and I know it was more symbolic than simply wanting a change. It was a way for him to say goodbye to his past, goodbye to One Direction and move forward to debut his first solo album.
"It's a great change. Wait, what're you doing here, H!" I say as I let go of him knowing the hug is probably a little too prolonged for his liking, but he still holds his hands at my waist, and I continue to admire him.
Oh god. Last night's conversation is still very much so a thing.
But somehow it doesn't worry me because everything is different now that my very best friend is in front of me.
"I'm here before I go on a trip next month to write the album and I knew you'd be here, and I think I owe you an apology." He says and I feel my heart quicken. The album. All at once everything comes flushing back to me and I'm consumed by the last six months on replay.
"Look last night was silly and we were heightened from the stress of our jobs and stuff. Don't even worry!" I say as I remember his words from last night. 'Dumb Hook up'
"Um, Tilly..." He says and I meet with his eyes smiling at how insanely happy I am to see Harry standing before me.
"Yes, H?" I ask. He takes one hand from my waist, the other still resting gently on my hip, and he points at my chest which I look down at to find is completely exposed. I forgot to button up my shirt.
"Oh my god!" I say and wrap my shirt around me. Harry laughs in response, taking both hands and covering his mouth. I playfully punch at his shoulder and laugh back, passing him my bag so I can button my shirt up.
"Don't laugh!" I say and begin to button up my shirt, smirking down at my chest at how absent minded I can be.
"Sorry I had to! Aren't you some big star now? You should watch out for that kind of thing; paparazzi will have a field day." He says with a chuckle, shuffling on one foot.
"I think they already are..." I say pointing to a group of men across the street getting out of a black van with hefty camera gear attached to them.
"What kinda shoes you got on, Tilly?" He asks as he looks at the paparazzi and back at me.
"Ahhhh, flats?" I say and he takes my handbag from me and taps my shoulder.
"Hope they're comfortable, tag! Now come get me!" He says as he takes off down the street, my handbag in his grip.
"Harry!" I yell out, my head darting between the man running away and the men across the street now fast approaching calling my name out in thick French accents.
I let out a sigh and take my shoes off and hold them as I begin to run after him who has stopped and his hand ushers me down the street, dangling my bag on his wrist.
"You're so dead, Harry Edward Styles!" I say as I run towards him, but he quickly turns down a small alley I wouldn't have seen if he hadn't gone down it. I feel the wind in my hair as I run, feeling the smooth cobblestone underneath my feet as they pound against the ground with every step. I laugh as I pass people and shout apologies at those who I nearly bump into, one man cursing me in French. I turn sharply down the alley and my hand gets grabbed by someone and I'm pulled into a doorway, closing behind us.
"What the!" I yell out before I'm pulled against the familiar torso.
"Shh..." Harry says as he points to the rainbow stained glass door, the sun reflecting through the various colours of the glass making reflections and shadows of vibrant and beautiful colours that span across our faces and the walls around us. I look at the door, black silhouettes of men running and shouting as they pass the door completely unaware of where we are. He looks at the door, one finger pressed to his lip and the other hand holding mine ever so gently, barely even touching.
"Harry..." I whisper as he looks down at me and our eyes meet, our faces closer than they ever were, even on that night.
"Tilly..." He whispers back with a deep and husky voice. Looking at me, his dewy lips pressed together, his hand fumbling in mine as he gets comfortable in the tight space.
I snap myself out of the trance he's placed upon me and clear my throat.
"You're taller." I manage to get out, still whispering.
'You're taller' Really Tilly! Oh my god I can't with you! My brain screams at me.
"I suppose so..." He says as his voice becomes slightly louder as he smiles at me, his hand letting go of mine.
"... Either that or you've shrunk." He continues as he laughs at me.
"Shut up. Reckon It's clear to go now?" I respond back to him.
"Maybe, but could I please take a photo of you? You look... well you look pretty with the way the rainbow flows over you." He says as he reaches into the back pocket of his jeans to pull out his phone. Pushing himself onto me gently as his chest presses into me because of how small the space is.
"I guess so." I say questioningly.
He opens the camera app and takes a few photos before his eyes look down at my hand.
"Pass me your hand." He says and i do it hesitantly. He takes my hand and places his other just below mine. He finishes taking photos but leaves his hand with mine, resting above me on the wall. We look into each others eyes and for a second I feel myself get very small. He chuckles and puts the phone back into his pocket, resting against me again.
"Sorry." He says softly.
"I don't mind." I say back, matching his tone.
He appears shocked by this and stands up tall, but his face soon relaxes again, and we look into one another's eyes as we stand in this small room. There are stairs that lead who knows where and either one of us could move onto them to give the other some space. But we don't.
"Tilly as much as I like it here in this rainbow paradise of ours, I want you to come to New York with me." He says abruptly and I look at him in shock. Did he really just say what I think he said?
"I'm sorry you want me to what?" I whisper back at him.
"You don't have to keep whispering," He laughs.
"When we step out of this door I want you to go back to your hotel room and pack your things, then I want you to meet me at the airport, now you don't have too but I'd really like it if you did. I've missed you." He says before opening the door and stepping into the alley way, cautious of the paparazzi, but they're long gone.
"But I'm meant to go back to L.A." I say as he stands in the alley way and I feel the gentle wind flow into the small room, fresh air making me feel less claustrophobic.
"So am I. But I don't want too." He says as he looks at the large watch on his wrist.
"6pm, airport. I'll wait." He says as he walks off and leaves me in what he defined as our 'rainbow paradise'. I lean against the wall inside the small room and tilt my head to look up at the ceiling, my eyes close as thoughts consume me.
My mind tosses and turns as I debate this decision, but one thing is clear.
I'm about to go to New York City.
******
"What do you mean you're going to New York? You can't go to New York!" James says as he follows me around the hotel room as I pack my belongings into the cream coloured suitcase.
"James, it's a trip with a friend and I have a week before I need to be back in L.A. to start shooting the movie so I thought taking a break would be a good idea. Its spontaneous!" I say as I throw my hands up and smile at him.
"It's irresponsible is what it is, Tilly." He walks over to me and sits on the bed in front of me and holds out his hand, I take it in mine.
"And going to Paris on a whim to see me wasn't?" I say gently and he chuckles.
"At least I didn't have anything or anyone to see, any deadlines to meet or films to film." He says and I shrug my shoulders and sit down next to him, placing my head on his shoulder.
"I need to do this." I say, feeling his head rest on top of mine.
"I wish you didn't have too." He says, letting out a sigh.
"I'll text every day." I mumble as I trace the palm of his hand with my index finger.
"You really have grown on me, Tilly Jackson, and I hope you know how much I care for you." He says and I feel myself blush.
"And I care about you." I say as I stand to my feet, pulling him into a hug.
"Which friend are you going with?" He says and his hand flattens my hair while we hug.
Shit.
I can't tell him I'm going with Harry even though it would be a smart option to do so, I know it will kill him. He knows we haven't been speaking in recent months, what will he think if I run away to New York, of all places, with Harry fucking Styles. It'll only be for a week so what's the harm in keeping the intricate details from him? It's evident James has feelings for me and honestly, I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel something towards him. He's kind, gentle and a fantastically humorous person to be around. He's safe and his love is waiting right here for me at any moment I take hold of it and its fresh, new and exciting. He understands my passion for acting and encourages me to pursue it but when I'm with him there's only one person I'm thinking of. I suppose I'll always be thinking of that one person and I'd be silly to pass up this opportunity. After all, Harry and I always wanted to travel the world together.
"Um, a friend from high school. She's just moved to the city and wants to catchup." I say, knowing full well the line I just crossed. I lied to him. I lied to someone who has no intent on hurting me and has never lied to me.
I look into his eyes and feel them searching my face for even the slightest giveaway that I'm not telling the whole truth. But acting has its perks and he doesn't catch on.
"Let me give you something before you go?" He says as he lets out an exhale and I nod at him.
"Earlier this morning after my conference call with my publicist I went for a walk and found this ring store, L'anneau De La Flore so I went inside and found this ring and it made me think of you. So, I got it without hesitation." He says as he hands me a white ring box.
"This isn't you proposing right?" I joke and he laughs, his blonde hair falling in curls across his eyes. He hands me the box casually and brushes his hair back.
"Does it look like I'm on one knee?" He says laughing at me.
"I mean no but some people don't necessarily get down on-" I look down at the ring that shines at me. A simple gold signet ring engraved with dainty wildflowers.
"... One knee." I say as I swallow hard.
"James..." I say as I look up at him. He scratches the back of his neck and begins to say something, but I wrap my arms around his neck instead. I didn't know that guilt could make your chest feel so tight.
"It's beautiful and I love it." I say kissing his cheek. An overwhelming wave of guilt washes over me and I begin to tear up.
"Be safe in New York. I'll be waiting when you get back." He says and I wipe at my eyes before he sees.
I know what I just did was wrong and I'm completely aware of it but something about James and I just doesn't make sense to me. But on the other hand, something about Harry and I make my stomach fill with butterflies. Seeing him today practically solidified that fact I am still very much so entirely, awfully, heart wrenchingly, head over heels for Harry Styles.