Warning: Read at your own risk
TG// Child abuse, murder
ADREN
Kabanata 25
Do you know the reason why you're born in this filthy world?
Since I was young, it was the constant question I've always asked myself.
Why was I born?
"Makinig ka sa akin," My Mother with her elegance, bend down to my level. "Smile, Adonis. Ngumiti ka."
My lips twitched at the sight of her glaring at me.
I tried smiling but I only receive her palm slapping my cheeks in return. This hurts less than how it used to hurt. It's probably because my cheek has been numb from all the slaps I got from her.
"What's wrong with you?! Why can't you at least be more like a kid? You even looked like that piece of..." Anais Reverio growled at me, throwing her elegance aside. The sound of her heels as she walked towards the table to sip from her wine is deafening.
Nakasunod lamang ang mga mata ko sa kanya. I don't know if I should be thankful that I've only received slaps from her. It could have been worst. She definitely did more worst things than this. I heaved a breath, buti na lamang at sampal lang ang natamo ko sa kanya ngayon.
She was capable of doing more and she wouldn't hesitate to inflict more pain — because it's me. Sa akin niya ito gagawin kaya naman wala lang ito para sa kanya.
She massage her temples as if I was the most problematic child she had ever conceived. I was fidgeting my fingers because I knew this will be a long discussion...again.
"Adonis, can you show some emotions? Or even just fake it? Your smile doesn't even look like a smile at all. Do you want others to think I'm mistreating you?"
I immediately shook my head, my small frame was already trembling because I can feel the animosity in each word that she hurled at me.
Nakarinig pa ako ng ilang pagbagsak ng mga gamit. The pieces of the acrylic vases were scattered around. Walang lumalapit. Walang kumikibo. This was like the routine for us.
She yelled. She cursed. She decided to break everything that occupies her sight. She was like this everyday, causing havoc just to appease her anger towards me.
I lowered down my gaze as I wipe the dripping blood on my lips. This will heal. Ang sabi ni Grandpa ay hihilom din ito.
The physical pain will soon recover because humans are capable of rejuvenating. Pero hanggang ngayon ay nanginginig pa rin ako. The pain inside of me however cannot recover that quickly.
Anais was frustrated that I was the living carbon copy of my father. I resembled Alfos Reverio when he was younger and even other people can attest to our similarities. We both had the same jet black hair, pale white skin and aristocratic features from our descendants.
Napadaan ako sa hallway, seeing the painted portraits of my bloodline — I wonder if I really belong in this house. I saw one of my Father's portrait and halted from my tracks. I decided to trace down his features and eventually realized how it reflect how I look.
Lumambot agad ang aking mga mata. It made me think that maybe...
Maybe if I didn't look like father, she'll appreciate me more. She'll probably act more motherly to me, only if I didn't look like him.
I wanted to please her. I wanted her to want me as her child. All she ever wanted was for me to give her a smile. And I did. I always do. In return, my lips would bleed because it isn't true enough. My smile is not enough.
I can't smile because I have no reason to. Bakit ba nila ako pinipilit ngumiti?
My mother — Anais likes to prepare extravagant parties for her own liking. Sinabi sa akin noon, it is a way to build your connections or to strengthen her social standing.
Inaayos ang aking tux nang dumating siya upang tingnan ang aking pananamit. Her eyes turned to slits as she examine me.
"Don't forget to smile," malamig niyang usal. It terrified me because I know she'll be watching me.
Not because she cares.
But because she's waiting for me to create a flaw that she can reprimand. Ganoon na lamang ang taglay niyang galit sa'kin.
"I'm not happy, why should I smile?" my mouth was downturned.
My heart pounded against my chest. Kahit ako ay nagulat sa aking sinabi. I looked at her and saw that she was delighted to see me scared of her.
Lumapit siya sa akin at mariin na hinawakan ang aking baba. She made me turn my gaze at her. Gumuhit ang isang ngiti sa kanyang mga labi.
"Adonis, no one cares about how you feel." Anais caressed my face. "They only care about how you appear infront of them."
Truly, her words alone can already make me feel so lonely.
"Hurting someone physically isn't enough," Anais was tracing the marks she left on my body. Dumudugo pa ang ilan sa mga ito. I was trembling.
"You have to hurt them emotionally, so that no one can heal those scars in their hearts." She cupped my face as a smile appeared on her lips.
Alfos married Anais so the companies of both parties will be merged. That's what I heard from the gossip from the maids. My biological mother didn't want to be tied down with this marriage because she knew that she won't have any power if she gets married into a patriarchal family. Still, they got married and had me.
It was my fault why she had to stay here. It was my fault that she needed to give birth. It was my fault why she can't be happy. It is my fault that up until now everyone in this house cannot find satisfaction in their lives.
Kasalanan ko ang lahat.
Kaya naman tinatanggap ko na lamang ang galit niya sa pamamagitan ng pagtanggap ng masasakit niyang mga salita. Even the physical wounds are already a norm to me. Nag-aaral na nga ako kung paano ito gagamutin.
"Kuya Adonis!" Sol excitedly hopped her way towards me.
My thoughts were disturbed by someone. Nilingon ko ito at awtomatikong ngumiti nang mapagtantuan na si Solstice ang lumapit sa akin.
Solstice Lavender was my half sister from Dayanara, my father's secretary. Anais knows about them yet she couldn't careless.
She didn't love my father any way. She couldn't reciprocate any feeling towards him.
I don't even know if they're really married, baka nga gumawa sila ng paraan para maging peke ang lahat.
"Hi." I smiled at her despite of how much my cheeks were hurting.
I was punished because I was a bad child. Hindi ko kasi natapos ang mga pinapagawa sa akin na music sheets para sa isang piano recital na sponsored ni Anais. I didn't know how to do it even if I had someone to teach me. I wasn't interested in music. Pero kailangan dahil gusto ni Anais.
"Can we play? You'll be this ken doll! I'll be this barbie! Then we'll live in a dollhouse!" she giggles as she showed me her dolls.
Our age gap was only a year yet I was forced to be more matured. I was the heir so I had to understand everything the adults were talking about.
A woman strides towards us. Umangat ang tingin ko sa kanya para bigyan siya ng pansin.
Dayanara smiled at me when she reached Solstice to pick her up. Ngumiti ako pabalik dahil mabait naman siya sa akin. She's even more of a mother to me than Anais will ever be.
"Pasensya na kung ginugulo ka niya, Sir Adonis." Dayanara shifted her gaze but maintained her apologetic smile.
I shook my head.
"Wala po 'yon. I'm actually happy I can spend time with my sister po."
Dayanara's eyes soften when she notice that I acknowledge Sol as my sister. I could see the gratitude in her gestures.
"Mauuna na po kami, Sir Adonis." She bowed a little before going back inside the mansion.
"Bye, Kuya!"
I waved at them as I watch them go towards the main house.
I wondered why Alfos liked Dayanara so much. Is it because she was kind or it is because she was submissive? Both of the qualities can't be found on Anais.
Even if Anais and I were the legitimate family members, Alfos doted on Dayanara and Solstice more. I couldn't blame him. Compare to the uptight wife and gloomy son, I would have prefer Dayanara and Sol too.
Isang araw ay naabutan ko na may kaguluhan sa bahay. The breaking of vases froze me on the spot. Naalala ko si Anais. Every time I hear something breaking, I'm already anticipating the feeling of getting hurt. Napapikit ako at sinubukan silipin kung ano ang nangyayari.
"I won't accept you and your child unless you could give me a boy. Tandaan mo 'yan. This household does not need you." Grandpa said before walking away from Dayanara and Alfos.
Dayanara cried in Alfos' arms. Solstice was condemned solely because she was born in the wrong gender. My grandpa would probably approved of their arrangement if only they could give him a grandson rather than a granddaughter.
My heart sank when I saw them. Pakiramdam ko talaga ay hindi na dapat ako nabuhay pa. I cause them suffering. If only my existence didn't hinder them to be together.
Kahit gaano kabait si Dayanara, she was slowly losing it because of the constant degrading words she received from my Grandpa. Hindi naman siya mapagtanggol ni Alfos.
I decided to talk to Grandpa. Sa lahat ng miyembro ng pamilya, Grandpa was the one who made me feel a little special. He wasn't affectionate but he treated me like family.
"Adonis, stop talking to that brat. Hindi ko talaga maintindihan si Alfos. Gagawa na nga lang ng bata, hindi pa ginawang lalaki." My grandfather was displeased. He's usually cool with me however the same can't be said to my siblings.
I wonder if only Solstice was born as a male...
Meron pa kaya akong puwang sa bahay na ito?
Of course, I didn't follow my grandpa. Solstice was the only one who talks to me. She's the only one who understands me.
During the times we'll encounter each other in the hallway of this mansion, we would talk in small voices so that others won't hear us.
"I'll visit you later at night, okay?" I promised Sol and she quickly nodded her head.
"Yes, Kuya! Hurry, okay?" she smiled brightly.
She had rays of hope in her eyes. Sa tuwing manghihina ako ay siya lamang ang kinakapitan ko. I have to live for Solstice. I had to survive to see her reach her dreams — to see her living in a more peaceful world.
We were not allowed to talk to each other yet we secretly meet at night to play with her dollhouse. It was my stress reliever from all the data sheets I had to know despite of my age. I was studying stocks at the mere age of nine yet I couldn't complain. I was the heir and I had no right to be ungrateful for the huge opportunity they're handing me.
"Kuya, one day we will live in a huge house like this..." she mumbled.
"Hmm? Don't you think that this mansion is already too big?" I ask, arranging the toys that she is handing me.
She shook her head and gave a smile that reached her eyes.
"A big house where you and I are happy."
Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. I smiled genuinely as I decided to ponder on her words. One day, Solstice. We will also be happy.
The routine happened every other night. Hindi bale na mapuyat at parusahan ako ni Anais. As long as my sister and I talked to each other. The wounds and bruises do not matter to me anymore.
Soon, I'll be happy.
When it was almost midnight, I sneak around the hallway to Solstice's room. Maingat kong binuksan ang pinto ng kwarto niya, although it stopped midway because I heard someone.
"Mom! I..can't...breath! M-mommy!" I heard a muffled whimper.
My system immediately panic. Agad akong lumapit sa pintuan upang tingnan kung ano ang nangyayari.
I took a peek to see who it was and I saw Dayanara putting a pillow on my sister's head.
"Dayanara!" I called her out as I open the door. I pushed her away from my sister and she was startled.
When I looked at Solstice, her eyes are already wide open so as her mouth. She was as pale as dead. I tried shaking her but she was unresponsive.
The tears started falling from my eyes.
My sister...
No...
Hindi pwede.
"I..." Dayanara was out of words. She looks up to me and her eyes started watering.
I clenched my fist as my face contorted into anger.
Why would she kill her own child?! Why did she killed my sister?!
Why did she kill my only hope?
Bakit?
Ganito na lamang ba ang galit nila sa akin? That they had to do this?
Mabibigat ang bagsak ng bawat luha ko habang hawak-hawak ang kapatid ko. She isn't here anymore. Wala na si Solstice. Wala na siya.
Paano na ako?
"I just..." she bit her lip as she shakes her head. "Buhay pa siya...she's just sleeping...maybe she'll become...a boy when she wakes up."
She's delusional. She's sick in the head! Even a kid like me would think she's not in her proper mind!
Sa sobrang galit ko ay pinagbabato ko lahat ng mga gamit ni Solstice. The loud noises alarmed the household and they immediately went to Solstice's room.
Agad na niyakap ni Alfos si Dayanara na hanggang ngayon ay tulala at nanginginig sa takot. He didn't even care that Anais was also in the same room. Anais was looking at them with amusement while her arms were across her chest.
"You're lucky you were born with the right genitals for this family, Adonis." Anais chuckled as she rolled her eyes. "Nakakabaliw maging babae sa pamilya niyo."
"It's okay, she'll wake up tomorrow." Alfos comforted Dayanara who was clutching on him and still dazed.
"Pinatay mo siya!" I screamed, letting my eyes release every tear that I was holding on.
"Tumahimik ka!" Alfos shouted at me.
"You murderer—"
Alfos punched me. Ang malaki niyang kamao ay walang awang pinagsusuntok ang mukha ko.
I couldn't feel my face as my vision turn blurry. Nanatiling nakahiya ang aking katawan sa malamig na sahig. Blood was coming out of my nose.
I close my eyes.
Sana sinama mo na lang ako, Sol.
Ang daya mo naman. Iniwan mo si Kuya rito.
Solstice was clearly already dead unless he can bribe death to bring her back, it's impossible to make my sister alive again.
I have no reason to live anymore.
I was forced to sleep because of the punches I've received. It made me lose consciousness. Kung pupwede nga lang na maging panaginip na lamang ang lahat. When I woke up, I decided to wear a shirt and pants that are black when I went down to the dining area.
Only to see someone with the same face of Solstice sitting on my sister's chair.
Natigilan ako habang prinoproseso ang nasa harapan ko. The girl had the same height, same features but the feeling wasn't the same.
What the hell.
The girl looks at me and her mouth parted. I could see the desperation in her eyes. Although she has the same features as my sister, she didn't have her energy or her eyes. It was different— this was clearly a different person.
"Who is this?" I pointed towards the person.
Nanginginig ako sa galit.
Anong tingin nila sa kapatid ko? Manika na pwedeng mapalitan?
"Your sister, of course." Alfos sipped from his cup, not even exerting effort to look at me.
"My sister is alread dead." I said, firmly. I could feel my fist tightening because of how they think I'm dumb enough to believe it.
Anais sighed exaggeratedly. "Ayaw mo 'yon? You have a new sister with the same face, Adonis."
"Shut up, Anais!" Alfos growled.
"What?" Anais feigns innocence. "Did I say anything wrong, my dear?"
I can't help but look at Dayanara who was watching the fake Solstice eat. Akala mo naman talaga anak niya, she freaking killed her kid!
"You are all killers then! Isusumbong ko kayo sa pulis! How dare you kill my sister!" I said out of frustration. She killed my sister and they're trying to cover it up!
Ang sasahol nila!
Alfos stood up and went towards me. Nakatanggap ako nang malakas na sampal sa kanya. My small body went down because of it.
"You're only tough because you have my father's blessing. If only you didn't exist then we could have been more happy in this household." Alfos said in his stern voice.
Akala mo ba hindi ko 'yon alam? Akala mo ba sa tuwing nakikita ko kayo ay umaasa pa akong mamahalin niyo ako?
Lahat ng pisikal na sakit ay kayang mawala. Pero itong emosyon na binibigay nila sa akin ngayon, it will haunt me as days goes by. I just wanted to live and be happy.
Bakit ba pinanganak pa ako kung tanging pasakit lamang ang dala ko sa kanila at tanging pananakit lang ang kaya nilang gawin sa akin?
Tiningnan ko si Anais. She only looks at me as a smile appeared on her lips. She didn't even feel bad for me. Why would she feel something for me? She loathes me.
Parang minamartilyo ang puso ko sa sakit.
Bakit pa ba ako pinanganak?
"Tell the guards to dragged Adren to the basement. Lock him up until he remembers who is in charge in here."
Alfos commanded sternly.
The guards went towards me to put me in the basement. Marahas nila akong hinawakan sa aking mga braso at kinaladkad papunta roon.
"N-no, you can't do this to me..."
"Adonis, pwede bang tanggapin mo na lang na walang may pakialam sa'yo sa bahay na ito?"
Halos maubos ang lakas ko habang hinahatak ako papunta sa isang kwarto. I tried fighting back but they won't show any mercy.
The guards pushed me inside and I could hear the keys and how they locked it. My eyes broadened as everything slowly sinks in.
Mag-isa lang ako sa dilim. Para sa isang musmos na tulad ko, isa itong bangungot. It's a nightmare that no child would like to experience.
It was dark here. Not even a single stroke of light was visible.
"Sorry na po, pakawalan niyo na po ako..." I cried. Kahit sa napapaos na boses at namamalang lalamunan ay nagawa kong makiusap.
I tried banging on the door but it was futile.
Walang nakarinig.
Walang lalapit.
Walang tutulong.
Wala na kasi si Solstice.
"Mom..." I tried to call her just like how others would call their mothers.
Wala.
"Dad..." unti-unti akong pumikit. "Sorry na po..."
No one was there to answer me.
I curled myself into a position where I can rest my head on my knees. I could cry but my eyes are already too tired for it.
Ilang araw akong sumigaw at humingi ng tulong. Napapagod na ako at kung minsan ay pakiramdam ko ay nasa tabi ko lang si Solstice.
Maybe, sinusundo na niya ako?
Masaya ba sa lugar kung nasaan ka ngayon, Sol?
Baka pwede mo naman i-sama si Kuya?
My hallucinations were driving me insane. Unti-unti na akong nawawalan ng malay. I'm slowly accepting that I'm gonna be gone too.
I was there for three days and no one was giving me food or water. No one really cared for me or look out for me. Kahit ang mga kadugo ko mismo ay tinakwil ako.
I was beginning to be consumed by the darkness because of the starvation and exhaustion when the door suddenly opened.
May nagbukas ng pintuan at pumasok siya na parang may pinagtataguan. Dahan-dahan niya pang sinara 'yung pinto bago tumabi sa akin.
A light coming from a flashlight lit up the room. The girl look at me with a bewildered look on her face.
"Hoy gago ka! Hindi ko 'to sa patay kinuha! Huwag mo ako multuhin!" She hissed at me as she showed me a basket of food.
My tummy is rumbling as she eats a piece of bread from the basket. I was surprised when she puts the half of the bread on my mouth.
I didn't know what to feel...
"Gutom ka rin ba? Okay lang 'yan, kainin mo na lang 'to. Sayang lang kasi di rin naman nila kakainin. Magpapaluto sila ng marami tapos kaunti lang kakainin nila! Mga mayayaman talaga." She shakes her head in disappointment.
"Thank you..." I whispered as she shared her food with me.
"bakit nandito ka? Ang dilim dilim dito. Multo ka ba? Engkanto? O tigabantay sa bahay?" she showered me with questions. I couldn't see her face because the flashlight wasn't enough for the entire room.
I can only say that she's a girl because of her voice and her long hair.
"What's your name?" I asked her as I eat the bread and ham from the basket.
"Arr—" she stopped and huffs. "Ayoko nga sabihin! Baka isumbong mo pa ako kay Mama!"
"I won't."
"Secret, no clue, tapon susi!"
I didn't have the energy to argue.
"Fine. I won't tell my name then."
She huffed at me.
"Pakialam ko sa pangalan mo? Artista ka ba? Nasa pogs ba ang pagmumukha mo?"
Pogs? What the hell is she talking about?
I sighed. "I don't wanna live anymore."
"Pinagsasabi mo? Masaya kayang mabuhay."
I tilted my head to her direction. "Not in my life."
"Mahahanap mo rin ang dahilan kung bakit ka nabuhay sa mundo. Basta ako ang alam ko pinanganak ako para bigyan ng mas magandang buhay ang pamilya ko."
She sounded hopeful. Lumingon ako sa kanya. I couldn't see her eyes but the way she say things reminds me of Sol.
I couldn't say the same thing. I didn't wanna live for Anais or Alfos. Solstice is also gone. I don't even know why I'm still alive today.
"I don't have any reason too..." I answered, truthfully.
"Sabi ni Mama, regalo raw ang buhay ng Diyos. Depende na raw sa tao kung papahalagahan niya ito o hindi. Pero 'di ba parang ang sarap sa feeling kapag pinahalagahan 'yung regalong bigay sa'yo? Parang gusto mo ulit biyayaan 'yung taong alam mong pinahalagahan 'yung regalo mo? Sa tingin ko, ganun din ang mararamdaman Niya kung bibigyan natin ng kahalagahan ang buhay natin."
Her optimism is contagious, for a second, I thought that maybe she was right. Maybe there was reason why I'm still here despite of how much pain I'm already suffering.
Yet, I know it wasn't true. She was only idealistic.
We talked for hours about our lives. She was babbling about her life and I realized we lived in a different social status. It seems like she had nothing yet she also had everything. She didn't have the luxuries yet she had the right people in her life.
I don't know why people think just because you're rich, you already have everything. Pakiramdam ko ay pareho lang naman ang buhay sa lahat ng tao, it sucks your soul through and through.
The ones who are poor are just not priviledge enough to hide the grime part of their lives. Hindi tulad ng mga mayayaman, they have to maintain a clean slate for the rest of their lives because people expect them to have the priviledge to get rid of the filthy truth that this world is not near any rainbows.
"Can we talk again, tomorrow?" I asked her when she was preparing to leave.
"Hm, di ko alam e. Depende kung dadalhin ulit ako rito ni Mama."
"Oh," I suddenly became sad. It was the feeling where you had a playmate in a resort but you know that it was the only time where you could hang out because they lived in a different place.
"Ewan ko ba sa'yo, bata ka pa lang stress na kaagad iniisip mo." She poked my forehead. "Lumaki ka nang gwapo ha. Malay mo paglaki natin liligawan mo ako."
I grimaced at what she told me. "As if, you don't even look pretty."
The truth is I couldn't see her face but my pride couldn't afford hearing that I'll be courting someone like her. No way, I'll rather court death.
"Gago ka, maganda ako!"
"Stop cursing! You're a kid!"
"Naku, siguro kung tiga saamin ka wala kang kaibigan kasi english ka nang english!"
Namamaga na ang mga mata ko sa sobrang pag-iyak. Pero nagawa niyang paratingin ang ngiti ko sa aking mga mata.
We laughed.
The comfort she offered me was a little too overwhelming. If only she was here forever, I would probably had a reason for living.
Maybe, I was just clinging on the tiny hope that she offers. Baka sakaling magkaroon ako ng gana na mabuhay pa.
I learned that she broke the lock they had on the basement. Kaya naman nakalabas din ako nang lumabas siya.
"Where have you been, Adonis?" My grandpa was angry like a bull.
Alfos and Dayanara acted clueless, like they didn't lock me in a basement without food or water. They probably didn't think of opening it, I was just fortunate to have someone opened it for me.
I only smiled.
They don't care about me, they only care about how I appear infront of them.
"I just went somewhere, Grandpa." I lied.
"The next time you want to go somewhere, please tell us or inform us. Alam mo namang ikaw lang ang inaasahan ko rito." Grandpa said and I knew this infuriated Alfos more.
The next day, Alfos wanted us to talk. He probably wants me not to tell about how he locked me in the basement. What a coward.
"What is it?" I asked as I look at my watch, feigning impatience.
"I just want to tell you that you might be the next CEO of our company because your grandfather doesn't trust me with it." His baritone voice has the hint of anger in it.
Kasalanan ko ba kung galit sa kanya si Lolo? If he wasn't stupid enough to embezzled money from the company before, Lolo would have handed him the company wholeheartedly.
"Congratulations, anak."
He offered me a drink. It was just a juice so I accepted it.
"Thank you." I said as my mouth touch the glass.
I fell to the ground after I took a sip from it.
"Didn't think that it will be this fast." Alfos laughs. "I'm sorry, son. Siguro naman ngayon na wala ka na, mapapansin na ng Lolo mo ang iba mo pang kapatid."
He walks out as I pretended to be dead on the floor.
I was just laying there.
Pinapakiramdaman ang malamig na sahig habang hinihintay siyang tuluyang mawala sa paningin ko.
Of course, I was not stupid enough to sip from it.
Pinahid ko ang patak ng inumin sa aking labi. I immediately pour it in the trashcan.
Unti-unti akong nilamon ng galit. Galit dahil kahit kailan ay hindi ko mararanasan ang pagmamahal ng mga magulang ko.
I wasn't hoping for them to love me anymore. Hindi siguro talaga para sa akin ang pagmamahal. I was fueled with the thirst of making them feel my wrath. Nabubuhay lamang siguro ako para sirain din ang buhay nila tulad ng ginawa nila sa akin.
It seems like I have it all— the money, the power and even the fame of my surname yet it feels empty.
I walked towards the office of my Grandpa. I could hear them arguing about something. Unti-unti kong binuksan ang pinto at nakita kung paano magpanggap si Alfos.
"I don't know what happened! Someone poisoned my son!" I heard Alfos shouting and faking his cry of grief.
"Alfos! This can't be true! Paano na ang kompanya?!" Grandpa was more concern on the company, it was honestly sickening to hear them.
"May he rest in peace." Dayanara's soft voice irked me.
"I have an alternative idea —" natigilan si Alfos nang makita akong pumasok. All well and alive.
Alfos was clenching his jaw and balled his fists. Dayanara on his side looks like the perfect housewife who was lamenting with his husband, she was shocked to see me.
"A-adonis, are you alright?" Grandpa asked in disbelief, he lets out a sigh of relief as he sat down on his swivel chair.
"Of course po, Grandpa." I smiled and I saw my reflection on the mirror.
That's right.
If they don't know about how I feel, they can't hurt me. No one in this household is allowed to know how I feel because I know they'll use it against me.
After that, I decided to live my life trying to find ways to ruin theirs. Tanging galit lang ang namumuo sa aking puso.
Solstice Lavender's impostor once sat beside me as I was reading the future investments our company will make.
"Ibalik niyo na ako sa ampunan."
"Welcome to hell, my sister." I emphasized the word 'sister' and it made her grimaced.
"Hindi ako si Solstice."
I nodded, like it was nothing.
"I know but you have to be."
She started crying. "Ayoko rito. Mga wala kayong puso. Walang pagmamahalan. Walang pagaaruga."
She was throwing tantrums like a child. Pero bata pa naman talaga kami. We were just forced to grow because of the circumstances.
"You'll get used to it. Ikaw pa naman ang inaasahan nilang aagaw sa posisyon ko."
"Sabi nila kapag naagaw ko raw ang kompanya mula sa'yo, makakaalis na ako rito." She wiped away her tears, she was acting strong. She clearly was more matured than my real sister.
I laughed.
"Do you honestly believe them?" I mocked her.
"Gagawin ko ang lahat para makaalis dito. Hindi ko inakalang magagawa 'to sa akin ni Tita Dayanara." She was sobbing. "A-ang sabi niya bibigyan niya ako ng pamilya."
This time, I craned my neck so that I could see her face. I decided to fight back the urge of being scared of her. Kapag nakikita ko siya, nakikita ko ang walang buhay na mukha ng kapatid ko.
"What's your real name?"
"L-lavender."
"My sister also had that name and you look like her..." I laughed. "Be careful when you're going to sleep, baka di ka na magising kinabukasan."
I stood up.
She was trembling when I left her. Base from the bruises on her arms, Dayanara is abusing her.
We can't fight back. Not yet.
I gulped as I remember Solstice. Kahit naman magsumbong ako sa mga awtoridad, mabibili naman sila ng salapi ni Alfos at Dayanara.
Even if I wanted to help her, I still don't have the power to and I also can't show that I care for her. Alfos will surely use of that fact to get rid of me.
It was excruciating painful to know that my own flesh and blood are the ones who would like to see me suffering.
What a great family.
Isang balita ang nagpabago ng ikot sa mansyon. I saw Anais walking towards me with divorce papers on her right hand. I remember that Grandpa told me they were married overseas. Mukhang napapayag na niya na maghiwalay na sila.
I coldly stared at her as she boast the papers in front of me.
"Hindi mo na ako makikita sa buhay mo."
Honestly, I was grateful. The torture I went through because of her is still fresh from my memories. Lahat ng masasakit na salita, pananakit at mga ginawa niya sa akin ay parte na ng pagkataon ko.
"Good riddance." I scoffed.
She laughed. "I was never a mother to you. I understand your hate for me."
"I don't hate you." I smiled at her. "Hate is still an emotion that shows you care. The truth is, I don't even care about you."
Her lips parted but she immediately concealed her emotion. I thought I could finally hurt her too just like how she hurted me.
Ngumiti lang siya sa akin. "You may have his looks, but you have my attitude. One piece of advice — not everyone who shows you that they love you is real. Be careful for those who tells you they love you, you'll never know what they're really after. It could be your status, your name or your power — but never you."
She hugged me as she whispered into my ears.
"Do you really think someone will love you? Sarili mo ngang pamilya, hindi ka magawang mahalin?"
In each day I have to live, I had to believe that in order to survive — no one will love me. No one. I only have myself.
❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜