― ALVARA
WHAT WAS HER NAME AGAIN? EBI? Good Lord, wasn't that shrimp sushi?
It's Aki, you dipshit. "I - I was just, well he looked like he was in a lot of pain -" I blabber.
Aki blinks, wide eyes luminous. "I wasn't aware you knew where he was going to be. It took me ages to find him."
"I-I didn't! Well, it's a long story, you see -" I stammer, putting down the needle before realizing it still had thread attached to it. Quickly I snip off the string and set down the needle. I glance at Kaiser's back. Two down, at least ten more to go. Some of the gashes overlapped, which was going to be a problem.
I realize Remi's friend is still waiting for an answer and my mind whirls frantically as I search for something to say. Why the hell am I so nervous? Is it because I've just been caught helping a man I've sworn to hate? Or is it because there's something about Aki that makes me want to bow down and confess all my sins?
"It's okay, I'll just leave the stuff here and leave," she says quietly. Aki puts down the supplies she gathered next to the measly gauze I had scavenged in Kaiser's room.
I stand up quickly, nearly hitting her forehead in the process. "No, you can do this. You probably know him a lot better than me -"
Aki watches me carefully, dark eyes probing. It's only then do I realize she's absolutely gorgeous. Her dark skin is smooth and unblemished, like glass. Her dreads are gathered to the side and woven with tiny beads. She looks delicate and faerie-like in a puffy off-the-shoulder top that reveals her dainty shoulders. I didn't know shoulders could look feminine, but here I am.
"He kissed you in prison, didn't he?"
I nearly swallow my own tongue. "No, he didn't, it was all staged. Remi forced him to make it look like we were together because - well, I have no idea, she won't tell me. Nothing happened," I add vehemently when Aki looks unconvinced. "Nothing."
When she continues to examine me, I realize she considers me competition. Does she think I fancy her Kaiser?
"Look, I hate his guts. I want to shoot him in the head," I say matter-of-factly, before realizing that was probably... also not the right thing to say. "He's all yours."
I brush my borrowed miniskirt lightly and stand up. I give Aki a feeble smile before leaving. I wasn't about to make another enemy in this prison.
I pace the empty hallways, before standing in front of a portrait of a beautiful brown-skinned woman, who looked an awful lot like Remi. I'm unable to focus, and my vision blurs. My heartbeat thrums loudly in my ears, and my face feels hot to the touch.
What the hell was that?
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― REMI
"YOU CALLED, PAPÁ?" I ASK QUIETLY.
Papá takes a slow drag out of his cigar. He tilts his head back and watches me beneath heavy-lidded eyes.
His office smells like blood again.
I used to wonder what it meant - why it almost always occurred right after his 'lessons' with Kaiser. Now, I knew.
He takes my face with one gnarled hand and tilts my head to the side.
"Your mother's in Pakistan again, visiting family," he says.
I swallow. I knew this wasn't the only reason I was here, and wait.
Papá sighs, exhaling smoke. I hold my breath at the smell.
"It feels like my loved ones are all leaving me, one by one," he confesses. I dare a glance at him. He's looking at me sorrowfully.
I move robotically towards him, resting my head on the spot beneath his chin. "Oh, Papá, you'll never lose me," I reply automatically. I can't tell if he's really sad, or if he's acting.
His hands tighten around me. "I'm glad."
We sit in silence, me with my arms awkwardly wound around him. Once, I had cherished and hungered for my father's affections. Now I dreaded it. It only meant he wanted something from me.
"Kaiser disobeyed me greatly," he says finally. "You understand why I had to regulate him?"
I close my eyes. Was he asking me whether or not I condoned his 'regulating'? Did that mean he felt guilty? Was it possible for someone like him?
So he wasn't oblivious after all, I think. He knew I noticed the blood, the papers lying on the floor.
When I hesitate, Papá begins to move his cigar-free hand through my hair, combing the strands, the way he used to do it when I was a little girl. I bite my lip to stop the tears from falling.
"I understand, Papá," I whisper. And I guess I could, in a twisted way. My father had raised Kaiser since he was seven years old, and had provided food, water, and a roof over his head. Shouldn't a parent have the right to discipline a child?
"His father would think it cruel, I'm sure," Papá admits. "But if he saw the way his son was behaving... he'd understand it. We were close friends, you know? He trusted his precious child with me."
"Of course, Papá," I agree.
All lies.
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I LEAVE MY FATHER'S OFFICE WITH tears in my eyes and a bitter taste in my mouth.
It sums up how I feel every time I finish talking with him.
And yet why were you willing to shoot your best friend for him, Remington? The man who has killed countless innocents, who forced your mother to flee to another country?
Robotically, I slump down on the couch Kaiser nearly bled to death on.
Because of your father.
And yet I can't help but love him. He is my blood, my flesh. How many other people could I call that on this soulless world?
There was Eli, who I loved dearly. Kaiser, our protector. Aleksander, who had grown up with us. We had all seen each other in our diapers. Alvara, who I had accidentally befriended but had loved like a real friend.
How many had betrayed me? How many people, who I once considered myself close to, had pointed a gun to my head? Would Eli do that?
The paranoia that my close friends could one day turn their backs on me only made me hold onto my family even tighter. I worried about my mother incessantly. It was hard for me to look after her when she was in South Asia, and my father needed no protecting.
Guard your heart, zama shazadgay, my mother had whispered to me. It'd been after one of my father's 'sessions', and her eye hadn't been able to open properly. I still recall the smell of lavender and verbena when she gathered me in trembling arms.
The world is full of monsters like your father.
"Remi?"
I open my eyes to see my favorite person in the whole wide world.
"Eli?" I whisper. My voice comes out all croaky, and I clear my throat, trying again. "Eli?"
His gaze softens when he sees me, and he comes over to gather me in his arms. If I squeeze my eyes shut, it's almost enough.
I turn my head into Elison's shoulders, breathing in his faint cologne. He told me it was a cheap drugstore perfume his mom had gotten him when she had been alive, and that it had been all she could afford with her own money. He hasn't stopped wearing it since.
"Was it your father again?" he asks softly.
I sigh. He knows me too well.
"Don't pay attention to him," Eli says in my ear. I shiver at the feeling of his breath on my neck; he notices, and hides a smile against my skin.
"Does he know... that we know?" he breathes.
I shake my head against his collarbone.
It's the one thing we have against him.
One day, it might be enough.
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Cryptic chapter, wasn't it?
Don't worry, things will start to make sense soon :>
Wanted to make this a slow-burn mystery mafia romance, but my impatient ass skipped the filler and got right into the plot
Also hopefully I got the term of endearment in Pashto correct - I messaged my Pakistani friend for help :')