It was so damn hard to tear my eyes away from the gorgeous girl sitting beside me in the car, but I knew I had to for the sake of the other people in the car, unless they wanted to be in a car accident because of my obvious staring problem.
Lydia was dressed similarly to how she had been dressed the previous weekend, except something was different this time.
This time, I knew how her curves felt underneath her clothes, I knew the taste of her lips and the fireworks from her kiss.
I knew that I wanted to be with her, emotionally and physically, the desperation reeking from me as if I were a teenaged boy infatuated with his best friend's sister.
And maybe I was, aside from the teenaged part. She was my best friend's sister, and she'd been put through so much in her life, that much was glaringly obvious.
But so had I, although she didn't know it yet. Perhaps we were two halves of the same fucked up whole, two broken souls destined to join together when we least expected it.
I was on the verge of breaking through a football career with the NFL and she was accepted to Harvard. We had no idea what was waiting for us in the rest of our futures, but one thing was certain when it came to Lydia- I wanted her to be in my future. I didn't care in what shape or capacity, as long as she was in it.
I'd give her all the time she needed, we could just be friends or even acquaintances. We could be friends with benefits, I would even settle for being her 'fuck buddy' but I couldn't handle her never being around me.
We were going to be in the same city if she chose to pursue her Harvard dreams and I got to live out my own with the Patriots, it was almost like it was meant to be.
"Emmett, what are you doing? That was the exit right there."
I swore under my breath and made the quick turnaround and soon we were parking in front of the club, my thoughts neatly tucked away in the back of my mind so that I would be in perfect focus and able to protect Lydia from what I knew was to come.
"Okay, so let's go inside together. I'll order some drinks at the bar while you find Rafael. I'll bring Amalia with me."
"O-kaaaaay. I wanna formally meet this hottie, though. I know I caught a glance the other weekend but if you're dating him then I need to really grill him, you know?"
I laughed with Amalia before setting my eyes on Lydia. She wasn't even nervous, a grim determination set in her features.
She was a damn goddess, and while I wished I could make her all mine, I knew that she was her own person and she would never allow a man to call her 'mine'. I just hoped she would lend me her love, even for a moment, so I could bask and revel in it and lose myself in all that was her. I'd gladly give myself to her for just a moment of her time.
But she had other things on her mind, and I knew I had to let her battle out her own demons, in her mind and in real life, before she was ready for anything like that with me, or anyone really.
I knew we had a deep connection, I'd felt it in our kiss and the times that we'd shared a bed but done nothing but sleep.
She just had to be the one to act on it.
Maybe I'd spill all my deepest, darkest secrets to her. I wondered if that would make her trust me enough to confide in me about her past, bringing us closer together.
All in her own time, though, and that time was not in that moment.
"Alright, let's do this."
Emmett led the way through the doors that barely held back the roar of pounding music and flashing blue and red lights that reminded me of police lights.
I exhaled when they changed to yellow and green, the reminders that those lights brought bringing back vomit inducing memories.
"I'm gonna go find Rafael," I said, giving Emmett a knowing look while Amalia just patted my butt and gave me a "Go get 'em, tiger!"
It wasn't hard to spot the billionaire in the club full of posers clinging onto him and wanting what he could give them.
His dark hair was cut closer to his scalp than it had been when we'd met. His outfit reeked of douchebag, his patterned linen shirt tucked neatly into his expensive slacks while his wrist was adorned with a hundred thousand dollar watch. Hell, his socks were probably more expensive than my entire wardrobe.
I took a deep breath and with steely determination I sauntered over to Rafael like my life depended on it, and like I knew what the hell I was doing when on the inside my heart was screaming at me to turn around and run the other direction.
Ply him with liquids, that'd be easy enough. The remnants of the alcohol from the 'pre-game' with Amalia earlier didn't help me, maybe I'd need more liquid courage to charm the pants off of him and make sure that he wasn't suspicious.
His brown eyes lit up as he gazed my way, his trove of onlookers giving me a displeasing glare as if a newcomer was just more competition for their prize steed.
I smiled to myself as he broke away from their pawing hands and joined to meet me in a hug that felt a little too intimate for my own liking.
"Lydia, I'm so glad you came, I thought you were going to stand me up."
I gasped in mock horror.
"I would never do such a thing! My, er, driver just missed our exit and it was packed. How are you, do you want to go get a drink?"
"I'm great now that you're here. And yes, I'll grab us a round and we can head to my private table."
Ew. Of course he had a 'private table'.
The music was already giving me a headache and the thought of being alone with him was nausea inducing. Thankfully I spotted a familiar and friendly face in the crowd.
"I brought my friend Amalia with me, I hope that's alright?"
"Of course, the more the merrier."
He disappeared for two seconds and then was back as if he'd never left, carrying two drinks. I was upset that I didn't physically watch the bartender make the drink in front of me, but it wasn't like I was really going to drink it. It was just an act to make Rafael think that I was drinking right along with him, when in reality, it was him that I was trying to get drunk.
Apparently men took forever to pee and had bladders of steel.
Two rounds later, my drinks being skillfully poured out onto the floor whenever he looked away, and still no bathroom break. I sighed in relief when Amalia finally came over to the table despite my many attempts at waving her over before.
"Amalia! This is Rafael. Please, come and sit with us!"
"Hello pleasure to meet you. Oh, why is the floor so sticky over here?"
"Oh, uh, I don't know it was like that when I got here."
She shrugged it off and scanned the room like she was looking for someone.
"Lovely to meet you. Are you here with anyone or...?"
"Oh, no, just me and my friends. I met someone here last weekend and I was hoping to spot her."
"Her?"
"Yeah, I'm gay."
It was hard to gauge his reaction, but when the wheels started turning in my head that she was a lesbian I noticed his eyes wandering to the other women in the room with more interest.
"And no, she's not going to kiss a girl in front of you for your entertainment. Someone's sexual preferences should not be another person's fetishes."
"I never asked her to kiss another female. I'm sorry if I gave off that impression. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to use the restroom."
FINALLY.
Turned out the only way to get him to the bathroom was to call him out for the incorrigible waste of a human that he was.
I texted Emmett that he was on the way to the bathroom.
It was go time.