MADILYN HOLLEY
I stepped back from my tripod and smiled, liking the setup I had created for filming in my new room. This would be the first video I posted since moving to LA other than my travel vlog, but I hadn't shown off the new house or done a tour yet at all. I'm so lucky that Liam has decorated the place with me in mind, because it would make hiding the fact that we live together from the public that much easier. I wouldn't have to say the place was decorated for me, because it was totally my style. None of my viewers would suspect a thing, which was good for both my career and Liam's. I didn't want him to get into any sort of mess and so I was glad that I had my own space for filming so that no one would notice anything suspicious. I sat down on the bed and checked my hair on the monitor before starting to film the intro for my video..
"Hey everyone! It's been a while, and I'm so excited to get back to filming for you guys! This move has been so crazy and I've had so much to do since I got here but I am finally ready to show you all my brand new home! I hope you enjoy today's video, let me know what you guys would like to see next. Alright, let's get into the house tour!"
I stood up to stop the camera and set it aside as I put away my tripod and ring light so that I could have my room clean for that part of the house tour. I grabbed the camera and ran downstairs to start the tour outside and show off my favorite part of the house. I decided to film the video montage style and do a voiceover instead of doing it vlog style, so I just took a bunch of videos of every area in the house and of the front porch and the swing.
"Are you filming?" Liam whispered as he approached the house while I was filming shots of the swing.
"You don't have to whisper." I laughed, "I'm doing a house tour but I'm doing it montage style so your voice won't be in it."
"Oh that's a cool idea! Do you need any help?" Liam asked. "I could take some clips with you in them so you can add them to your montage."
"That's a great idea Lee! Thank you!" I smiled brightly. I was feeling much more myself today after having somewhat cleared the air with Harry a few days ago.
Liam took the camera from me and we decided to film a few shots in my favorite areas of the house. He got a video of me and my journal on the swing, a clip of me making tea in the kitchen, vacuuming the rug in the living room, making my bed upstairs, and even got a clip of me doing makeup in my bathroom.
"These clips are going to make the montage feel so much more casual and natural, thanks Lee. You're the best." I said as I took the camera from him and gave him a hug.
"No prob Madi. Are you editing tonight or are you free?"
"I was planning on editing a bit tonight, what did you have in mind?" I questioned.
"Harry wanted to see if we could all get together and have taco night at his house." He shrugged.
"I love tacos! Where are we getting them from?" I asked.
Liam scoffed and replied, "Oh no sweetie, on taco night we throw down in the kitchen."
I laughed and responded that I'd love to go, and for him to let me know as soon as he was ready to go since I was already all dressed from filming. He went back to the main house to get ready since it was almost 5 and I ran upstairs to touch up the curls I had done that morning. I looked in the mirror and scanned my outfit, my flowy white dress with little blue flowers making my skin look so much tanner.
I smiled as I grabbed a few rings from my jewelry dish, a small gold ring with a heart and a small gold ring with tiny diamonds surrounding it. I added them to my fingers along with the gold band of Harry's I had been wearing and the gold pinky ring with the tiny star I had also been wearing and smiled. I've always loved dainty gold jewelry and layering it or wearing multiple pieces. I ran back downstairs to find Liam waiting on the couch as I grabbed my cropped denim jacket and slipped on my sandals.
"Are you ready to go?" He asked.
I simply nodded in return as we left the house and hopped in his car to head towards Harry and Mitch's house. I was feeling a bit nervous, I hadn't seen Harry since he was here four days ago. Things seemed okay then though, so I wasn't too nervous to see him. I was honestly more excited than nervous.
As we approached the house Layla opened the door and greeted us loudly, "WHO'S READY TO PARTY?"
We both chuckled as Liam ran inside shouting and we stood in the doorway together.
"It's party time girl, get in here!" Layla exclaimed as she grabbed my hand and pulled me into the house, closing the door behind me.
Layla lead the way towards the kitchen and as soon as we entered I was greeted with a gigantic mess of food everywhere and three boys struggling to cook as Liam grabbed a beer from the fridge. My eyes grazed the kitchen as I saw Mitch cooking taco meat, Niall making what looked to be a bean dip, and Harry making a guacamole, all three boys extremely focused on their tasks. Layla laughed as she sat down on the barstool next to where Harry was working at the island and watched as he struggled to mash the avocados.
"Hi boys!" I said as I walked into the room more, following Layla again to the island.
"Oh yes, hello." Liam said as he sat down at the chair next to Layla and cracked open his drink.
"Right then I see how it is Liam, you've just come here for my drinks then is it?" Harry questioned, pointing a fork in Liam's direction.
"Not just the drinks lad, I came for the food too." Liam teased, giving Harry a wink.
Harry set down the fork and bowl of avocados to circle around the island and jokingly beat up Liam as they both laughed. I reached over and grabbed the bowl and began mashing the avocados myself, wanting to be able to help out with something. I don't see why Harry was struggling so much because these avocados were perfectly ripe, and as I began mashing them Harry rushed over and stood behind me, taking hold of both of my arms.
"What are you doing?!" He cried out.
"Making guacamole. Duh." I replied as I shook my arms from his grip and kept working.
He took the bowl out of my hands and I turned to see him with a bewildered look on his face as he clutched the bowl.
"You don't interrupt a man's guacamole making Mads. You should know better than this. Shame on you." He said jokingly.
I smirked and questioned, "Oh right, because you weren't struggling to mash these perfectly ripe avocados?"
"They're slippery." Harry shrugged.
"They're slippery." I mocked.
"That's it, get out of my kitchen!" Harry shouted as the room erupted in laughter. I raised my hands in surrender as I turned away to grab a drink from the fridge. I settled for a bottle of water and returned next to Harry at the island and began cutting up cilantro for the guacamole.
He turned and gave me a look that I could only reply to with, "What? I'm obviously still helping."
He gave me a soft smile and returned back to mashing his avocados and I think deep down he was happy that I wanted to help him. I looked up to see Layla smiling at the two of us while Liam sat completely oblivious on his phone. I looked back down to avoid the looks from Layla and hide my blushing face.
"Okay boys, taco night means tequila shots!" Layla said as she struggled to reach up towards the liquor cabinet.
"I've got it babe." Mitch said as he came up behind her, placing a hand on her waist as he reached above her and grabbed the bottle of Milagro. She then turned to grab shot glasses from the cabinet and lined them all up on the counter, filling them up as she went.
"Do you need me to slice up some limes?" I asked.
"Yes! That's perfect!" She said as she turned to grab the salt. I quickly sliced a lime into six pieces for each of us and laid them out in front of each shot glass as Layla began pouring the salt on her hand. I licked the back of my hand and stuck it out for her to pour salt on as well.
"Alright boys, gather round." Layla said as the boys came forward and Layla poured salt on their hands as well.
"None for me tonight Lay. You can have them both party girl." Harry said with a joking wink towards Layla. I looked up at him and he gave me a soft smile before returning to mashing his avocados and I wondered why he wouldn't want to drink with the rest of us. It's not like we would let that happen again, so why not?
I turned back towards the group as we all did our first shot and set the limes in our glasses afterwards so that we could use them again.
"Did you bring the salsa Liam?" Harry questioned.
"Oh shit." Liam responded with wide eyes.
"Lee you didn't tell me we were supposed to bring that!" I said.
"I'm sorryyyyy, I forgot all about it." Liam said.
"How am I supposed to eat tacos without salsa?" Niall cried to Liam jokingly.
I turned to Harry and asked, "Have you got tomatoes in your garden?"
"I do." Harry said with a bright smile.
"Right then. I'll be back." I said as I dusted my hands off on a towel and started towards the backyard to gather up some tomatoes. As I entered the garden I was amazed at all the things I saw. I wondered how Harry or Mitch managed to grow all of these things and how they managed to keep them alive enough to eat. As I found the tomatoes I began picking a few of the large ones when I heard a voice behind me.
"Did you need help carrying those in love?" Harry asked.
I turned to see Harry holding a woven basket with a sincere smile on his face. He looked so much happier than the last time I had seen him and it was such a beautiful sight. His eyes twinkled and with the sun setting behind him standing in his garden it was like the most perfect view a girl could ever ask for. I wished I could have taken a photo or whipped out a canvas and painted the very moment so that I could see the way he looked in that moment forever.
"Mads, are you alright?" He asked.
I looked up to see that he had taken two steps closer and was now standing directly in front of me with a slightly concerned look on his face.
"I'm sorry, lost in thought. Thank you for the basket Harry, I don't know how I would have carried enough tomatoes for six people inside by myself." I smiled.
"Anything for you love." He replied as he took the tomatoes from my hands and began placing them in the basket, his fingertips grazing over the ring on my left hand in the process. He gave the smallest smirk but said nothing more about it as we gathered the rest of what we needed and headed inside.
"Perfect timing, we're doing another round." Niall called to me as I entered through the back door.
I quickly joined the others as we did another shot of tequila and noticed as Harry stood by and watched the rest of us, a small smile on his face as he recorded us on his phone. I was confused as to why he wouldn't drink since he seemed happy so it couldn't have been about what had happened, but I didn't feel as though he and I were close enough so that I could pry.
As the night progressed we ate way more tacos than necessary, did way more shots than necessary, and we played a million rounds of cards against humanity. It was one of the most fun nights I'd had in awhile and I know that may be because I was drunk but I didn't care. I was having so much fun with my new friend group that I never wanted it to end. We were all drunk off our asses, except for Harry, who didn't seem to mind being sober and seemed to be actually quite enjoying watching all of us act like fools. He was taking so many videos of all of us and laughing so hard throughout the night and it warmed my heart to see his genuine smile, I felt like I hadn't really seen it in a while. For a boy who I had only known a few weeks, he sure did have a secured spot in my heart. That boy was living in my head rent free and didn't even know.
Halfway through playing cards against humanity Liam had gone upstairs and gone to bed in the guest room, and not long after Niall had taken over the couch. That left just Harry and myself playing with Mitch and Layla. We played for a bit longer before Mitch started falling asleep at the table and Layla decided it was time to take him to bed. She helped us clean up the table and then headed upstairs, leaving Harry and I alone in the kitchen.
I began cleaning the counters off and putting the leftover food away and Harry turned on some music before coming over to start helping me. We chucked all the dishes into the sink as we cleaned the kitchen and when we were done I went over to begin washing the dishes.
"You don't have to do that Mads, you should head up to bed." Harry said as he placed a hand on my shoulder.
I turned to face him, seeing his caring smile and felt emotional. It was probably all the drinks taking over but as I looked into his eyes and saw his beautiful smile my heart began to tighten. I felt as though I was going to lose him, or had already lost him, and that I'd never be able to have him the way I want to because of my mistakes. Before I could even think about what I was doing I wrapped both of my arms tightly around his torso and buried my face in his chest, trying hard not to cry but trying harder not to let go.
"Madi? What's wrong love?" He asked as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, running a hand through my hair to try and calm me down. I started crying as the thoughts ran rampant in my brain and I couldn't figure out how to get them to stop.
"I ruined everything didn't I?" I mumbled.
"What? What are you talking about Mads?" Harry asked, confused.
I took a deep breath and looked away from him with tears streaming down my face as I whispered, "I'm such a slut. I ruined everything."
"Madilyn Holley, don't you ever say that again." Harry said firmly as he turned my face towards his to look me in the eyes. "I don't ever want to hear that word come out of your mouth again. You are not a slut, you're nowhere near it. Don't speak about yourself that way love, you need to treat yourself with kindness, it's the only way to be happy."
"Harry I'm serious. You want to know why I'm such a slut? I've had sex twice. That's it. Two times and both with people I hardly knew while I was drinking. I lost my virginity to a guy I met at a party when I was sixteen because I was drinking and wanted to get it over with. I hated it and I hated how I felt afterwards and realized that I didn't like the casual stuff and that I wanted to be in a relationship with someone and have serious feelings for someone if I'm going to have sex with them. And then here I am sleeping with you while I'm drunk and I had just met you. What is wrong with me that I keep doing this??" I asked Harry as I removed my arms from his waist and pulled myself up onto the counter so I could sit down.
"Madi baby I'm so sorry." He whispered.
I looked up at him as he said it, Madi baby, I wondered why he would call me that. I kept hearing it over and over in my head like a broken record.
"Harry?" I asked.
"Yes?" He responded.
"Why are you so nice to me? You don't have to be. I'd understand if you just cut me out of your life completely but instead you still welcome me with open arms and smile so big, your smile is so pretty. And sometimes your eyes get all twinkly too. Your eyes are pretty too. Honestly you're just pretty and I-"
Harry smiled as his face turned red and he took a step closer to me and stood between my legs, leaning forward to press a light kiss to my forehead. "You're way too drunk Mads." He said with a giggle.
"Hey mister, drinking or not I know a pretty boy when I see one." I responded as I draped my arms over his neck and laid my head down on his shoulder, closing my eyes.
"Alright sleepy, whatever you say." He responded. "Let's get you up to sleep, yeah?"
"Where am I going to sleep?" I asked.
"You can sleep in my room, I'll sleep in the studio." He replied.
"You don't have to do that, I can sleep down here in the studio. I don't think I'll make it up the stairs anyways." I said as I started to lift my head off of his shoulder. Just then he slid his hands under my thighs and picked me up off of the counter and began making his way out of the kitchen.
"Seriously Harry you don't have to." I said.
"I know." He said kindly as he carried me up the stairs. He didn't set me down until he reached his bathroom and he set me on the counter in there. He turned towards the closet and began grabbing some clothes, quickly changing from his tee shirt and jeans to a pair of sweatpants with no shirt. He changed in the closet with the door cracked instead of closed and it didn't feel as though he was trying to show off his body or tease me or anything, it just felt like he trusted me and felt comfortable enough with me to do so.
He walked out with a large shirt and a pair of shorts for me to wear and I thanked him for them. I slid off the counter and lifted my dress over my shoulders and off of my body as Harry handed me the shirt in his hands, maintaining eye contact with me the whole time. I know I only did it because I was drunk but in a way it felt like I was showing him I trusted him too. His maintaining eye contact was such a sign of respect that he didn't just stare at my body and I know that is one thing that I will definitely remember in the morning. Harry took my hands in his and began sliding the rings off of my fingers, placing them on the bathroom counter before sliding his own off as well to do the same.
"Could you take my necklace off?" I asked, knowing that I'd never be able to get the clasp undone in the state I was in.
"Of course." Harry responded as I turned around and swept my hair to one side. I felt his fingertips brush against the back of my neck and before I could think twice about it they were gone and he was placing my necklace on the counter. I made eye contact with him in the mirror and he gave me a small smile. He leaned forward and kissed the back of my head sweetly.
"Here you go love." He said, handing me a pair of shorts.
"Oh I rarely ever wear pants to bed. Makes me feel restricted." I said.
Harry let out a loud laugh and placed them back on the shelf in the closet. He walked into his room and I followed him in there as he pulled back the covers and I laid down on his enormous bed. He sat down beside me and smiled, and I couldn't fight the urge but to ask, "Harry, why didn't you want to drink tonight?"
He reached forward and brushed a strand of hair out of my face as he answered, "I didn't drink tonight because I wanted to be able to take care of you the way that I should have before, and the way that I will from now on."
I gave him a small smile as the tears welled up in my eyes at his kindness. I sat up, gave him a soft kiss on his cheek, and laid back down again.
"Goodnight Harry." I whispered.
"Goodnight Madilyn."
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A/N: Caring Harry is the best Harry I swear. I loved writing this chapter and I hope you all enjoy it as well. (:
XOXO