Losing Control [ spencer reid...

By reidsbau

1.9M 37.9K 193K

✧ -"Closing your eyes, you think of the man who's holding you; what he's been through...you and Spencer Reid... More

disclaimer
prologue
1. Spencer
2. Intense Concentration
3. Dominance and Submission
4. Oxytocin and Vasopressin
5. Guilt
6. Working the Case
7. Two Broken People
8. Beg For It
9. Indian Food and Pianos
10. You Amaze Me
11. Inferno
12. Nightmares and Dancing
13. The Eyes of a Murderer
14. Handcuffs and Propositions
15. Good Boy
16. Who's in Charge?
17. Good Vibrations
18. The Chase
19. Taking Care of You
20. Anger
22. First Case
23. Falling into You
24. Family
25. Little Dove
26. Relief
27. Do You Feel Me?
28. Spencer's Letters
29. Coffee Mugs
30. For Forever
epilogue
announcement

21. Graduation

49.4K 1K 6.4K
By reidsbau

"Congrats graduate!"

You giggle as Spencer leads you inside the Striped Stormcloud, spying the familiar faces of the team and Jamie as they congratulate you. Still donning your cap and gown from the ceremony, you take the cap off your head and throw it in the air a little, the tassel spinning in the air before it comes back down.

"Oh, jeez guys, thank you!" You gush, letting go of Spencer's hand to go hug everyone around you.

Jamie hugs you first, whispering praise and kind words in your ear. Pulling back, she looks at you, eyes tearful.

"Promise me we'll still have a girl's night every once in a while?"

You grin at her, gripping her shoulders. "Of course we will! You don't think I'd abandon one of my best friends like that, do you?"

She gives you a small smile before you move to stand in front of your new team. They all clap and cheer, moving in on you to give you a big group hug. You giggle as they embrace you tightly, Garcia's voice ringing above them all.

"Congrats, angel! You freaking did it!"

They release you and you look at all of their faces. "I literally cannot wait to start working with you guys."

"How long do you have left for training?" Morgan asks, taking a sip of his beer.

Spencer arrives at your side with your usual drink and one of his own, slipping his arm around your waist. You smile up at him and take a sip before answering.

"One week," you reply. "I just have to complete my physical training and that would put on hold for a while, well, because..." You gesture to your thigh.

You're almost fully healed—no limp when you walk. Sometimes if you sleep on your side the wrong way or get up too fast, it hurts, but overall, it almost feels like the shooting didn't even happen. It did though—you're reminded of it every so often when you wake up with nightmares and the lingering scars on your face.

Talking to Spencer about it seems to help—in a twisted way, you both share the same trauma. He can relate to what you're going through, and right now, that's what you need the most. Someone who understands. Unfortunately, sometimes not even Spencer can keep the nightmares away.

Graduation snuck up on you, though—but you graduated summa cum laude with a BS in Psychology, despite juggling training at the FBI Academy, getting shot, and keeping up with your regular classes all at the same time. You even made an A in Human Behavior—Spencer assures you it's because you're actually smart and not because of the amazing sex you two have together. You like to think it's a little of both.

Hotch smiles a rare smile. "We can't wait to have you officially join our team."

"God, I can't wait." You take another sip of your drink before inhaling slowly. "I just, um, wanted to thank you all for..." You clear your throat, trying not to get teary eyed, "for being there for me and helping me out when I needed it the most."

Prentiss gives you a small smile. "You don't need to thank us."

"You're a part of our team," JJ says. "We protect our team."

"We're family," Spencer says, giving you a kiss on your temple.

Morgan clears his throat. "Alright, alright, enough of the emotional shit. Let's raise a glass to Y/n!"

The whole group, Jamie included, raises a glass to you. You blush and raise your own before downing it, setting the glass on the bar counter.

"Let's celebrate!" You say, laughing as everyone cheers.

You grab another drink at the bar, tapping your fingers against the wood.

"Hey."

You turn to see Prentiss beside you, a smile on her face.

"Oh, hey," you reply, smiling at her.

"Last time we were at a bar together you elbowed a guy in the face," she says, her tone light. "Are we gonna have a repeat of that tonight?"

You laugh, shaking your head. "No, absolutely not. Besides," you jut your head toward Spencer, "if anyone here touches me without my consent, he's the one you need to look out for." You're quiet for a moment. "I wanted to apologize for that day. I was...in a dark place. I still am, kind of, but I'm coping."

"Y/n, you went through a traumatic event," she says, tilting her head. "I would be worried if you weren't in a somewhat dark place."

The bartender slides your drink in front of you and you thank him before turning back to Prentiss. "Well, I apologize nonetheless. And thank you, for calling Spencer. And for being a friend."

Emily nods. "Of course. We're a team. We mean it when we say that. Not only that, but you mean a lot to Spencer. And ever since he met you, he's never been happier." She looks over at Spencer who's talking to Morgan and Garcia about something. "He's so in love with you."

"I'm so in love with him," you reply, a small blush spreading across your cheeks.

"Well, I'll let you enjoy the rest of your little party," she says, picking her beer up from the counter.

"Thanks," you say, picking up your own drink and walking over to Spencer.

He's babbling about some episode of Star Trek, Morgan's eyes screaming "help me" as you approach them. You wrap your arm around Spencer's waist, his words dropping mid-sentence.

"Hey," he says softly, smiling at you.

"Hey," you reply, tilting your head up to kiss him on the cheek.

Garcia practically beams at you. "Have I mentioned how freaking excited I am that I get to work with you?"

You laugh. "Only five hundred times—but I can't wait either." You glance around the bar and tilt your head. "Where's Rossi?"

Garcia rolls her eyes. "He's at some sort of fancy convention. He sends his congrats and says you and Spencer need to come over for a pasta night to really celebrate."

You look at Spencer. "That sounds fantastic."

"Are you nervous about joining the BAU?" Morgan changes the subject, leaning back against the wall.

You think for a moment. "A little. I know I should be super nervous. I mean, it's the FBI and I'm...young and don't want to mess up. I'm mostly excited."

"Boy genius over here joined the BAU when he was twenty-two. There's no such thing as too young if you have raw talent and instincts." Morgan smiles at you. "You've already helped us put away two murderers—I know you're itching for more."

Spencer's hand rubs your lower back lightly, his thumb rubbing small circles. "It's all she talks about."

"What can I say, I'm ready." You stick your tongue out at him and he laughs. "Hey, I'm gonna go talk to Hotch for a minute."

Hotch is sitting at a high-top table with JJ and a man you don't recognize. You approach them, setting your drink down.

"Oh, Y/n, this is Will!" JJ motions to the guy next to her. "He's my husband."

Will sticks his hand out and you shake it. "Nice to meet you."

He has a very thick Louisiana accent. You almost have no fucking idea what he's saying, but you smile at him. "Nice to meet you, too."

JJ finishes her glass of wine before looking at Will. "We really should be going soon."

"Why?" You ask, disappointment lacing your voice.

"We have to get back to Henry."

"Henry?"

"Our son," JJ says, smiling. "I thought Spencer would've mentioned him. He's his godfather after all."

"Really?" You smile, glancing over at Spencer. "No, he never told me. I'd love to meet him someday, though."

"That can definitely be arranged," JJ replies. "For now, we're gonna go spend some time with him." She grips your arm, smiling gently at you. "Congrats. You're going to love the BAU."

You wave goodbye to her and turn to Hotch, tapping your fingers on the side of your glass. "I just wanted to thank you again, for everything."

The corners of Hotch's mouth turn up. "You don't have to thank me. You're very smart and will make a very valuable asset to this team."

"I'll try not to disappoint you, sir." You finish your drink as Hotch stands.

"You're leaving too?" You ask him, tilting your head.

He gives a small chuckle. "I have to go take care of Jack."

"Your son?" You guess. You eye Hotch's left hand. No ring.

"Yes, my son." A sort of pride you've never seen before flashes in Hotch's eyes. "We can talk more soon. I'll be in contact about your official first day by the week's end."

You nod at him. "Thanks for coming out."

"Of course." He walks by you and turns around again. "And congrats."

You thank him as he walks off and go join Spencer again. You're a little tipsy and you run your fingers along his back lightly. He turns his head to you and you give him a smile.

"I think we're gonna head out," Spencer says, his own hand going to rest on your lower back. "She's gotta get some rest before tomorrow."

Morgan raises his eyebrows at Spencer. "I'm sure that's why you're really leaving."

You blush. "Hey, we have our own celebration to do."

Garcia laughs and hits Morgan's arm. "Let them leave, love." She smiles at you again. "See you soon, okay?"

You nod and bid them goodbye, slipping your hand into Spencer's. He drives the two of you to his apartment. You slip off your graduation gown in the car, folding it and leaving it in Spencer's backseat. You're left in a white low-cut dress, Spencer's hand resting on your thigh when you settle back into your seat.

He keeps his hand on the small of your back as you walk up the stairs to his apartment, and you use your own key to unlock the door, leaving it sitting on the table beside the door. He closes the door and spins you around, kissing you softly before it even shuts.

You giggle into the kiss, wrapping your arms around him. He moves his hands to the back of your thighs, lifting you up so he's carrying you. You wrap your legs around his hips, pulling him closer to you as he brings you into his bedroom. Once inside, he sets you down, unzipping your dress and discarding it quickly.

"I'm so proud of you," he mumbles against your neck, his lips leaving small kisses and bite marks as they move down.

You unbutton his shirt, pushing it off of him, your hands moving to his shoulders. His hands move to unclasp your bra, your head tilting back as he immediately connects his lips with your right nipple.

"Fuck," you groan, one hand going to his hair and twisting your fingers it in.

His own hands unbutton and unzip his pants, pushing them down and kicking them to the side. His tongue circles your nipple teasingly, and you moan, back arching slightly when his teeth graze it. He breaks the connection, standing back up and kissing you again, biting your bottom lip. He pushes you to the edge of the bed until you're sitting, letting himself kneel between your legs.

His lips travel from your jaw to your neck, down your chest and stomach, his hands running down your sides slowly. You inhale sharply when he kisses the inside of your thighs, his fingers hooking in your panties before pulling them down quickly.

"Fuck, you're already so wet," he groans. You jolt slightly when you feel one of his fingers run up your slit slowly.

You moan softly, your fingers twisting it his hair again. He pulls you closer to the edge of the bed, his tongue swiping up your slit slowly before swirling around your clit. Your moan grows louder, your pussy clenching as he sucks on your clit.

"Oh fuck, Spence!" You look down at him, his eyes already on your face as he pushes two fingers inside of you.

You cry out as he curls his fingers inside you, hitting your g-spot already, clenching around his fingers as he begins pumping them inside of you. His teeth graze over your clit, a jolt of electricity running through you, your hips bucking.

"You're especially responsive tonight, darling," Spencer muses, pumping his fingers faster. "Why is that?"

His mouth returns to your clit, sucking harder, his tongue flicking it as he draws you closer to your orgasm. The grip in his hair tightens, pulling his mouth even closer to your pussy, his fingers pumping faster as he pleasures you with both his fingers and his mouth. You look down at him through hooded eyes, the pleasure almost too much as you feel yourself teeter on edge.

He breaks his mouth away from your clit for only a moment. "Come for me, angel."

You cry out as your legs shake, panting as you hit your climax. Your pussy throbs around his fingers that continue to thrust into you through your high, small whimpers leaving your throat as he kisses your sensitive clit. Eventually, he pulls his fingers out of you. You try to steady your breathing as you grip his wrist, pulling his fingers to your mouth. You suck your juices off of them, keeping eye contact with Spencer as he raises himself off his knees.

You move back on the bed, Spencer pulling off his boxers, his hard dick springing free. He climbs on the bed, leaving a trail of wet kisses up your torso, chest, and neck. He gives you a small smile before kissing your lips, biting your bottom lip as he thrusts into you.

You groan as you quickly adjust to his length, wrapping your legs around him so he can go deeper. A moan slips out of his mouth as he rests his forehead on yours, one hand snaking up your arm to your hand, lacing his fingers with yours. Spencer thrusts deeper, keeping his pace slow, small pants escaping him.

You've heard of the term "making love"—and you absolutely hate it. But in this moment, between you and Spencer, he isn't fucking you. It's too sweet for that, too slow. He doesn't break eye contact as he increases his pace.

"Fuck," he groans when you tighten your legs around him. "I love you so fucking much."

Your right hand snakes to his neck, digging your nails into it as his pace increases. "I love you, too." You bring him in for a deep kiss and break it. "Now, fuck me."

Spencer smirks slightly before picking up the pace, hitting you faster and deeper. You moan out, a high-pitched moan that Spencer muffles with his mouth. You clench around his dick and he grunts softly, his right hand untangling from yours and reaching down to rub your clit. Your nails dig deeper into his neck, both of you panting erratically.

"Are you gonna be good and come for me, baby?" He asks, eyes searching yours.

You nod, arching your back as he rubs your clit faster, his dick hitting the sweet spot inside of you with every thrust in. Your thighs shake slightly as Spencer brings you to your second orgasm, letting out a small cry as his hand leaves your clit to snake around your arched back, pulling you deeper on his dick as you come. Your head leans back, leaving your neck exposed, Spencer's lips attaching to it as you throb around his dick, coaxing him to his own orgasm.

You feel his high-pitched moans vibrate against your neck as his dick twitches inside of you, feeling his cum spill inside your pussy. After a few more small thrusts, Spencer stops moving, leaving his dick inside of you as he pants against your neck. After a moment, he lifts his head up, kissing you deeply.

"Did you like your graduation present?" He asks breathily, a small smile on his face.

"It might've been the best present I've ever gotten," you pant, laughing softly.

He pulls out of you and you groan at the loss of contact, staying on your back as Spencer gets up. He disappears into the bathroom for a moment before returning with a warm washcloth, wiping it between your thighs. You smile and kiss him as you stand, going pee before you put on a pair of panties, joggers, and one of Spencer's sweaters. You slip under Spencer's sheets, his arms immediately wrapping around your waist as he pulls you to him.

You say nothing as you lean back against him, feeling his lips at the back of your neck. You smile, exhaustion washing over you.

"Congrats, baby," he whispers, planting one last kiss on your neck.

"Thanks, love," you whisper back. After a moment, you speak again. "Can I ask you a question, Spence?"

"Anything."

"Do you want kids?"

The question takes Spencer by surprise, his grip on you tightening a little. "Why do you ask?"

You turn around so you're facing him. "I'm just curious."

Spencer thinks for a moment before looking at you again. "Yes. I...I've wanted kids for a long time." His fingers rub circles in your back. "Do you want kids?"

Your fingers play with his hair absent-mindedly. "I think so. I do. With you."

A smile spreads across his face. "Really?"

"Yes, really," you say, grinning at him. "I love you."

"I love you." His voice is quiet and he gives you a small kiss. "Now go to sleep. You need rest."

You turn back around, adjusting yourself against Spencer before sleep pulls you under.

                                            •••

The sound of a phone ringing wakes you, eyes slowly fluttering open, a deep groan coming from Spencer. You feel one of his arms leave you, fumbling around for his phone on his nightstand. You turn toward him, yawning, eyes still heavy. The clock says it's 4:45 AM.

"Hello?" He answers, his voice raspy. He listens and his eyes shoot open, going to look right at you. "Hotch, are you—" He gets cut off, listening intently before sighing. "I understand. We'll be there soon."

He hangs up and you look up at him. "What was that about?"

"There's a new case in Aurora, Colorado the BAU got called in on," he replies, sitting up.

You untangle yourself from him, leaning against your elbow. "So you have to leave?"

"No," he shakes his head, "we both have to leave. The Bureau wants you to start on this case."

—————————————
Author's Note
An update, finally! I wanted to make this a happy, angst free, smut chapter with a somewhat serious talk between Spencer and Reader. I've been planning to have them talk about kids for a while.
Thank you all for your comments and votes on both my fics, I love reading all of them, omg. Y'all are amazing. I'll also be updating Innocence tonight as well!
Anyway, hope y'all liked the chapter!!

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