Face your demons, fix your shit
and breathe.
War took the keys and hit the road. He hoped that no human cops were around because the speed limit he was going was dangerous for anyone on the road. If he did get stopped he would probably rip the human to shreds at this point. He was too high strung. He needed to be calmed down...but he couldn't.
He made it to his pack in record time. He was sure his tires were seconds from lighting on fire with how fast he was driving.
Once he was on pack grounds, and near the alpha house he let himself in. He could smell the stench of alcohol. It was strong...
He could smell a familiar scent near too. He followed the two scents to the kitchen and watched the person closely. It was Trent...
Two bottles of alcohol were turned upside down above the sink. "Fuck you," Trent growled into the sink as he drained the two bottles. "What the hell are you doing here? And you smell...oh shit. Your mate gave you some ass?"
War didn't bother taking a shower. He wasn't trying to boast about anything he was just rushing...but then again he didn't care. He loved the smell of Pomelia. "What are you doing?" He questioned him right back as Trent cursed loudly before turning around. The man's eyes were red. Not from being high or from whatever other drugs he usually used but from crying it looked like...?
"The fuck it looks like? I'm dumping my booze," he snapped as he glared at War as if he did something to him. "My allergies are fucking with me."
War nodded his head...even though he knew they didn't have allergies. "Trent what are you doing?" He asked again.
Trent let loose a threatening growl. " I talked to that Tyra Banks bitch...she won't let me near her if I smell like fucking booze."
So it was the priestess who had him acting like he had no sense? "Why would she let you near her?"
"Because I signed up for absolution and penance sessions with her."
"What?"
Trent gave him a threatening look. "I just fucking said it...I don't want to talk about it. I got your mates stupid file too. On the table."
War glanced at the table and walked over to the few Manila envelopes laying there. He grabbed the one that had Pomelia's name on it.
He opened the file and saw a picture of Pomelia when she was a baby. It gave him a warm feeling, a happy one. It was soon thrown down the drain upon reading her paperwork thoroughly.
His brain went dead. His hands felt numb as he gripped the pages tightly.
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" War yelled out into the air. He was specifically yelling at the fucking bitch of a goddess. Her nerve. The nerve of her!
Trent chuckled. "Yeah man keep that shit from her. If they link up you'll be thrown in jail!" Why was the world against War?
He understood. He did. He was a shit person who probably deserved every fucking thing he got...but Pomelia. She didn't deserve any of it. None of it.
"War? Realized the little novice is too good for you and came back to live with the rejects?"
Turning around, gripping his mates file tightly, he saw Khan in nothing but a pair of boxers and a bottle of whiskey in his hands. "We need to talk."
"Alright. War you got some pussy? I thought you would look a little more happier," he joked as War ignored him as Khan laughed, throwing his arm around his neck. "I wish you didn't look at the file though. That was some good ass bait I was going to use on you," he chuckled as War ignored Khan's comment and followed him to his office.
Once they were both sat down, Khan smirked at him. "What? You act like you saw a ghost or some shit."
"I had a dream...the goddess is real," War tried to explain to Khan as he chuckled. "I'm serious. I'll die or Pom will if I don't tell her the truth."
Khan threw his hands up in the air. "Oh so a fake ass dream makes you want to tell your mate your history but not fucking me. Good to know."
War rolled his eyes. "I need to-"
"-You're not going to ask me how I've been? Well I told Jess that I'm picking Amber as my Luna. It was a shit show. She tried to kill Amber three times since. I have four guys protecting Amber at her house. Tried to slit my throat a few times too and-"
"-I have to get out of this pack. I can't stay here."
He chuckled, knocking back the rest of whatever he had left in his cup. "Out? You don't have an out, War. I own you," he smiled cheekily, his golden eyes gleaming, sloshing around the alcohol he had in his cup.
"This pack is no good for Pomelia."
His Alpha shrugged. "I know that. So you tell her what a shit person you are, she sobs and shit and leaves your ass. Now that you know who her mom is give her a call and tell her she needs to take in her little injured pup."
War felt his stomach coiling. He couldn't do that. Pomelia wouldn't leave him...or would she? He wasn't a good man. He knew that but...she loved him. That had to count for something...
"I can't do that."
"You played mate long enough. I need you back at my side. Trent is shitting at the seams dealing with whatever the fuck he's dealing with."
What was Khan talking about? Play mate? He was her mate. "I love her. I can't let go of her."
Khan sighed out, gripping his empty glass so tight that it began to crack and crumble in his hand. War smelled the blood, he ignored it. "You think I give a shit? You think your mate gives a shit?! Once you tell her that shit it's over. She thinks you're her knight in shining armor and you're far from it, War. Go ahead though, go tell her," he laughed.
War shook his head, his wolf agreeing with Khan. His wolf going against his natural instincts and not believing in Pomelias love. It was disgusting...and he felt like throwing up. "I am going to tell her...I just have to talk to Reese."
"About what?"
"Joining his pack."
Khan threw his hands up. "War, you're trash. He treats you like treasure because you're killing his rapist cultish brother. Once you're done and kill that psycho he'll throw you away."
"That's not true."
His Alpha snarled, rising up from his seat and slamming his hands on the desk, so hard he heard something break. "War you remember how I found you? The packs punching bag. Your own mother didn't want you. We killed the bitch and you came with me. I said as long as you work for me you won't want for nothing. Have I kept that fucking promise?!"
"You have," War said evenly, watching his Alpha seemingly break at the seams. "I can't keep Pomelia here."
War felt conflicted. Like his body was being ripped in two. Khan gave him everything...everything. He in turn gave Khan his everything. Physically, mentally. With every job he gave a way bits and pieces of his morality, his humanity. Pomelia was restoring it. He needed it restored.
"You know that suitcase you carry around with all your money? I want that shit."
"Okay."
"Now get the fuck out of here."
War stood up, looking over his perturbed Alpha. "I'm sorry. I'll have everything moved out by tomorrow night."
Khan didn't respond.
War couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe he actually stood up to Khan or said he was leaving the pack. He stood up from his seat, giving Khan one last look before he made his way out the door.
On his way out he passed Trent who was now on the floor, cradling a bottle of scotch. "Trent give me the bottle."
"Fuck off," he sighed as he brought the bottle up to his lips and began to guzzle it down. War was done with this.
He shoved Trent and snatched the bottle. He upturned the bottle, letting it pour onto the floor. "Get your shit together...the goddess might recognize you, if you do."
Trent laughed, remaining on the floor his hand reaching out to his spilled booze flooding the floor. "Why? So I can get some ass like you? I can get ass without tying myself down."
"That's why you're lusting after a priestess?"
Trent scrambled up to a standing position. "You think you're the shit because you have a mate?! You tell her about all your killings and bribery? You killed your mom, your pops. Innocent Lycans and humans for a cut of money."
War didn't mean to, but he wound his fist back and punched Trent right in the face. He fell to the ground and War placed the empty bottle on the kitchen table. He grabbed a notebook, a pen, and then his mates file.
Once he was in the truck, he opened the notebook with shaky hands and began to scribble down all the things swirling around in his mind. All of the anxiety, the love, the hurt, fear, all the shame. Everything.
Dear Pomelia,
If you hate me I understand. If you want to hurt me, I understand. I understand if you think I am a monster, a coward for putting all of this into a letter instead of telling you with my lips. I'm afraid if I do, you'll start crying and I'll start lying because I hate to see you cry. I just hope and pray to the gods that you aren't scared of me. I love you a lot. Your smile, your freckles, your softness, your heart. And your laugh. Your laugh is like the sweetest sound that I have ever heard in all my life. I need to stop stalling. Here's the truth about everything.
War wrote til his hands cramped. Wrote til his eyes were blurry with tears. He was ruining his relationship. He was ruining everything with this letter...but if that meant that she would be safe from the wrath of the goddess then so be it. He might not ever be able to hear her laugh or touch her ever again. It was a risk he had to take. At least he would know that she would be alive. Maybe the goddess would erase his mark and let her find a new man to tie herself to.
Just the thought of someone touching her, holding her made War break down again. He hadn't cried since he was a pup. Snot and tears covered his shirt as he continued on his letter, telling Pomelia everything about him. Even about the dream he had. The impending death. How cowardice he was. He would have never told her if the threat of death wasn't looming over their heads...
After he finished the letter which was three pages long, he placed her papers in the same spot where the letter was before setting it on the passengers seat. He groaned, scrubbing his hands against his face. He was messed up. He couldn't do this.
Sure he could request/beg to stay with Reese in his pack but who knew if Pomelia would even stay with him. Who knew if he could even find the bastard to kill. He usually didn't take this long to find his target but this shit was too hard to figure out. Half the notebook was in a different language and all of his searching got him to multiple dead ends. He couldn't even scent out the asshole. If he didn't kill Ben he couldn't ensure a place for them to stay and the last page of his letter would be pointless.
Nick I know you're sleep I need you to figure out some possible spots Ben might be. I'm killing him today.
He sent the text and stared at it for a good five minutes before realizing it was three am and the kid was probably lulled asleep by his nightmares...
After all of this he hoped Khan and Trent would get Nick some type of help. Or justice to make him sleep at night...
War smelled the scent right before that specific person hit his passengers side window. "War!"
It was Jess. The bubbly Jess who always had a name to call him. Daddy War Bucks, Blonde Bombshell, big dick daddy, big fella. She was smiling, but it wasn't reaching her eyes like usual.
She flung open the car door and shoved a bag into the car. "War drive! Drive!" She screamed as War could smell the familiar scent of rust. It was blood.
"War! Drive!"
Without even thinking of why she was covered in blood or screaming at him to drive, he obliged and peeled out of his 'pack' like is life depended on it. Which it technically did.
As he broke the speed barrier to get the furthest away possible from Bane pack, he noticed that Jess was silently crying. War cursed under his breath, gripping the steering wheel tightly.
He didn't have time for this shit! For everyone in the fucking world he knew to have a breakdown when he really needed to get shit done.
"Thanks Daddy Warbucks," she sniffled as he glanced at her. She was wiping at her wet face. Blood, tears and black makeup was smeared all over her face. Her fiery red hair looked as if she had been in an accident with an unfortunate bird.
After the silence became unbearable, he finally started asking the important questions. "What happened?"
"I killed that bitch, Amber."
"Jess!"
She began to giggle before she took a roll of paper towel out of her bag and began to wipe at her face. "What? She deserved it. I told her to leave me and Khan alone and she didn't."
War sighed. Did he have time for this? No. He didn't. "You shouldn't have killed her."
"Too late. What are those papers you threw in the back?"
Telling Jess his woes would probably help. He trusted her more than Khan. Now especially since she betrayed him and killed his future Luna... "Its a letter to Pomelia with her legal papers."
"Why are you writing my little Pom Pom a letter? Why are you here anyway? What's going on Daddy War bucks?" Jess yawned as he glanced at her and realized she was slowly pulling herself together. Well on the outside. She was brushing her hair and she had wiped the blood and makeup off of her face.
War sighed. "You're not going to believe me."
"Would you believe me if I said I killed Amber because Khan chose her over me?" She had a point. He never thought in a million years that Khan would choose someone not Jess to be his mate. They were both psychopaths and deserved one another. Amber was a wanna be bitch who got dragged into the pack at a young age after she was kicked out of her old pack...
"You're right. I had a dream from the moon goddess," he started. "If I don't tell Pom the truth one of us will die."
Jess gagged. "That bitch. Curse her and her little attendants. I've had dreams about them trying to warn me not to do stupid shit. I make my own decisions."
Well that surprised War. He thought it was some freak thing but if Jess had been getting their warnings... "So you didn't listen to them?"
"Nope," she said while popping the p. "I don't trust them. My sister is dead they could have warned me about that but they warned me about stupid shit..."
"I'm sorry." That was really fucked up, and he didn't know what else to say.
"S'okay. They never gave me warnings about her death...but if they warned you about my little pomegranate you better do what they say." War was right in that aspect. He was glad that he was right in his instincts to do what he had to do for his mate and just didn't write it off as a nightmare...
As they drove, War couldn't help but feel Jess's eyes on him. He finally broke the silence to wonder why the hell she kept looking at him. "War you smell like sex."
He didn't respond, just flicked on the radio. Jess flicked it off. "Did my precious baby Pomelia give you some pussy?!"
"I'm not answering that."
She laughed obnoxiously loud. "Aw War! I'm so happy for you. I bet it was good. That's why you're acting like you got a stick up your ass. You wanna go back and enjoy some of that sweet pomme."
"We didn't have sex."
Jess groaned loudly. "Well what the fuck did you guys do?"
"I uh...I ate her out."
The squeal that Jess made, made him remember she was a woman. "Well hopefully you did it right and she was putty in your hands..Wait a minute. You ate her out then left her?"
"Yeah..."
War felt a slap on his arm. Then a punch. "Why would do you that?! Gods you're an idiot. Why-"
"Because I have to kill this guy! Then beg Alpha Reese to stay in his pack...then beg Pomelia to forgive me!"
Jess was quiet, before he felt her slim hand on his arm. He wish it were Pomelia's hand on him for comfort. "Well shit. Looks like killing this guy is going to be the hard part. I'll help daddy war bucks. Don't worry."
That made War feel a little better. Jess used to go on jobs all the time before Khan pulled her in and started dating her. She was good as hell at her 'jobs' so hopefully she would be useful...
He just had to blow up Nick's phone in the meantime so he would know where to go to find the bastard...
"Thanks Jess."
********
Hey guys!
Thoughts on this chapter? Any predictions?
38 is up on Patreon.
Thank you guys for supporting!