Louis lay down on his bed, eyes staring to the ceiling, hands under his head and the things he heard were only his own breath and the ticking clock. His stare looked empty like he wasn't thinking about anything at all. He was so confused. The things that happened earlier confused yet surprised him so much. He didn't know what to react to the new thing he never felt before.
Kissing, for him was fine and he also got used at the sexual touch but getting into the new level scared Louis so bad. Getting into a new level means he had to let his boyfriend to touch him in private parts and Louis just didn't like the weird feeling he would get. He didn't know why but giving his virginity to someone was scary, he was scared if Harry wasn't the one who would be with him until they were old enough to die.
The thought of giving his virginity to a wrong person scared Louis the most and Louis didn't want to give them to a wrong person.
"Damn,"Louis whispered to himself, feeling his head aching for too much thinking. He also might need to sleep anyway, it was already one in the morning, he should sleep or else he would get sleepy for the class he had tomorrow.
Louis then rolled to the end of the bed, trying to take his phone to check if there was any notifications from Harry but no, he found nothing. Harry didn't text or call him at all. All notifications in Louis' phone were only party invitations from facebook, mentions on twitter and a few likes from his friends on instagram.
Louis sighed, did Harry hate him for not wanting to rush things? Did Harry hate him because he didn't want to have sex with him? All those negative thoughts came inside Louis' mind again. But then Louis shook it all away, trying to not think about anything right now. He forced himself to close his eyes and sleep but he felt so wide awake because of the thoughts.
Louis sighed again before he decided to drink a hot chocolate to make him feel sleepy. He jumped out from his bed then he walked towards his door, unlocking it before going out from his bedroom, walking towards downstairs. Before he reached downstairs, he heard a sound from the living room. Sound of two men screaming about who was going to win an a sound from television that sounded like a game.
Louis curiously walked to the living room slolwy. He didn't create any sound so anybody in the living room wouldn't notice his presence. Once he was in the living room, he found two guys screaming. One guy screamed about how cool he was for being the winner and the other guy screamed because he lost. Louis shook his head at the childish actions before one of them decided to turn his head and he caught Louis standing there. "Hey, Louis!"
The other one who Louis knew as Niall turned his head too to look at Louis and he smiled at Louis, but still the trace of his pissed off face was still there. "Hey there."
"Hey guys, playing up all night?" Louis asked, walking closer towards them and he hopped to the sofa.
"Yup," the person Louis knew as Ed replied, smiling cutely. "Niall here said to Zayn that he was an expert when it comes to fighting game. I'm here to say that's wrong."
"This is what you get for being so cocky," Louis said to Niall, making the blonde guy pout.
"I was not being cocky, I was telling the truth!" Niall denied. "Besides, I never played with Ed before. How the hell could I know he's better?"
"It's okay, love," Ed cooed. "I still love you even if you can't defeat me." Ed wrapped his arm around Niall's neck and Niall pushed Ed away.
"Don't touch me, ugly, this ain't over yet," Niall said. He tried to be intimidating but he failed as he put a pout on his face instead of those scary faces.
It was time for Ed to pout. He was used to be called ugly but still, it kind of hurt his heart everytime someone called him that. He knew he wasn't the most handsome guy in the world and he also knew he was ugly as hell. "I'm so unfriending you right now."
"Oh, come on, I just called you ugly, what's wrong with that?" Niall asked, clueless. "Oh, does Eddie's little heart is so fragile until he can't take any offensive words that aren't meant to be onffensive? Oh little baby Eddie."
"Stop talking to me, you shithead," Ed said, pouting. "I don't like you."
Before Niall could reply to Liam's words, Louis cut their conversation. "Okay, now please remember that I'm here. Stop being so gay, that's just so cute and sickening in the same time."
"Oops,"Ed replied. "Forgot you were there."
Louis rolled his eyes. "Fine then. I'll leave you both," Louis said, standing up from the sofa. "But let me remind you something, people who live here would appreciate it if you don't fuck on this sofa and make a loud noise."
Niall suddenly chocked with his own saliva. "Gay sex is disgusting."
"Well, you're more disgusting," Louis commented, walking away from both of them. Ed and Niall seemed to be quiet once Louis left but then Louis heard a small voice that Louis barely could hear. It said, "Hey Ed, what does gay sex feel like?"
Louis chuckled at Niall's innocence when it comes to sex. Sure, he wasn't a virgin anymore but still, he sometimes was clueless about sex. If Louis was compared to Niall, the virgin boy actually knew more than Niall knew. Maybe it was all because Niall who never thought anything except food. He even never studied for tests, he didn't care about his grades. All he needed is food, and that was all.
Louis walked towards the kitchen, opening the cupboard there. People who lived there took turns to buy the ingredients, cereals or more food for the kitchen and it all was for everyone in this house so they always shared with each other. It also made them closer than ever and made everyone in the frat house become best friends.
Louis then made an instant chocolate by himself with a hot water. It didn't take long for him to make them and Louis immediately took a sip of the hot chocolate before he took away his mouth from the glass and complained about how hot the water was for his tongue.
Louis decided to bring the glass to his room, carefully walking to the stairs so he wouldn't bother the two guys in the living room who were talking about gay sex right now. Louis found it funny when he realized they were still talking about him and they both didn't look awkward at all.
When Louis reached his room, he locked his door and he put the glass of hot chocolate on the table near the bed and he sat on the bed. He looked around to find his phone that was on the bed before he checked it if there was any notifications. And there was a new message for him. Louis excitedly opened the message and he carefully read them.
[From: Harry x]
I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I still love you. Please don't hate me x
Louis had to re-read it a few times until a smile grew on his face. His boyfriend still cared about him and that was all that mattered. Louis quickly typed his reply, not wanting his boyfriend to wait much longer, knowing his boyfriend sent the message about fifteen minutes ago.
[For: Harry x]
I don't hate you. I just need more time to get used to everything. I still love you too x
With that, Louis smiled, feeling satisfied. He lay on his bed with his phone on his hand. He closed his eyes, feeling a little bit relieved. And before he knew, he fell asleep.
××
Harry typed his message as soon as possible as soon as he got the message from his lovely boyfriend. Harry then smiled wider than ever, feeling so relieved when he found out his boyfriend didn't hate him for what he had done. He knew Louis wasn't ready but he still slipped his fingers into Louis' jeans. Of course he would be mad.
Harry lay on his bed, looking at the ceiling. He couldn't sleep, the thought of him doing such a mistake earlier haunted him. Even he knew Louis wasn't that mad, Harry still saw Louis' tears back then. Harry made his own boyfriend cry and for him, it wasn't okay. He felt so guilty and wrong and he felt like he wasn't enough for Louis.
He felt like Louis deserved better than him and Louis could be happier if he was with somebody else. Those thoughts haunted Harry and it was driving Harry insane. He was so confused and so lost about everything and he felt like he wanted to kill himself for making such a mistake and for being such a mistake.
Louis might not know it but Harry was the type of person that got insecure easily. He felt like he wasn't good enough for everyone even though in people's eyes, he was better than he thought. But Harry never showed his insecurity, he stayed cool so nobody would notice his insecurity.
Harry checked his phone even though it didn't vibrate at all, he hoped that he missed a vibrate because he wanted to see Louis' reply. But then he got nothing as the result and he took a conclusion that Louis might sleep right now. He glanced at the clock before he finally sighed, knowing that it was already late and he should sleep.
Thank to the heaven because he didn't have work tomorrow so he could relax or he could take Louis somewhere to apologize. Not like they were easy to break up-they had exchanged rings-but still, breaking up with Louis scared Harry because he couldn't live without having his small and cute boyfriend next to him.
Before Harry knew, he already closed his eyes. His eyes felt heavier than before, telling him that he was already sleepy. Harry smiled when he finally could close his eyes without feeling still wide awake. Before he fell asleep, Harry thought about Louis for a few minutes. Just closing his eyes and admiring Louis by his imagination.
How small and cute he was but he still managed being sassy. How he could be thin but got that big ass that he loved to show to everyone-especially Harry but he played innocent when doing it. Harry smiled wider with those thoughts and suddenly he fell asleep with his phone on his hand because he didn't want to reply Louis' text in a long time.
××
A/N: what's up, y'all?
Sorry for being so late at updating, I'm too focused to read Escapade on ao3. It's a hella long story for a five chaptered story. You should read them, it's so good.
Please vote and comment? I'll appreciate comments! Also if you wanna message me, go ahead and talk about everything you want, I'm a good listener, you know? ;) (but pls don't talk about the boys last tour or anything about the boys break)
Btw sorry for changing the cover too many times. Do guys remember how many times have I changed this book's cover?:3
Also sorry for too much a/n. Thanks for reading this! Love you all!