WARNING: Self-harm up ahead.
________________________________________
Katsuki thought he was burning with rage.
That was a lie.
He wasn't burning with rage, not anymore.
He was burning but it wasn't from heated rage.
It was from cold.
It was so cold, it burned.
^^*************^^
The teacher was droning on about something again. Wait....what subject was this period for again?
Katsuki couldn't find it in himself to care.
He was tired, god he was tired. Another nightmare reared its ugly rear at him last night at fu$king 3 AM in the morning and as though to rub salt into the wound, he couldn't go back to sleep and by the time he felt like nodding off, he had to get ready for school by then.
He fiddled with the All Might action figure, making sure he kept it low so his desk could hide it. He held it in his hand, taking note that maybe he should try cleaning it up and oh $hit, the cape nearly fell off again. Dang, he should really just replace it.
He closed his eyes.
Big mistake.
A jolt travelled through his body, making him shoot up straight, back rigid as an iron pole.
Blinking dazedly, he realized he almost fell asleep and would've if Tsuya hadn't oh so graciously kicked his chair.
For once, he was grateful she kicked him.
'Sleep. I need fu$king sleep.' He groaned.
Should he....should he consider asking the old hag to buy him some kinda sleep medication? But if he does, then she might try to actually drag him to see some random stranger called a 'therapist' and he didn't want to push his luck since she hasn't done as such.....not yet anyways.
"-kugou-san!"
He blinked and his head shot up so fast, he nearly got whiplash. Katsuki mentally cursed when he realized that the teacher had been calling his name and he'd zoned out.
Again.
"Say what again?" he asked.
The teacher sighed.
"What do you have under there, Bakugou-san? Bring it here." He said, gesturing for Katsuki to hand it over.
Like he!l he's going to hand over the one solid anchor Katsuki had that linked him to Izu.
His grip tightened on it and he scowled.
"No."
That one word rang through firmly.
Silence fell over the class. Silence so thick, you could hear a pin drop.
"Bakugou-san-" the teacher tried but Katsuki wasn't having it.
"NO!" he repeated, standing up and slamming his hands down. "I won't hand it over." He hissed.
"That's enough! Your attitude is-"
"Lay off him."
That.....wasn't him.
It was Tsuya.
Sure enough, all eyes turned to her with baited breath, waiting to see who'll make the next throw of the dice.
"Sensei, please. Katsuki's.....trying, ok? We're both trying. If you take that away, you're gonna affect his mental and emotional wellbeing." She tried to placate.
"............fine. But please refrain from playing it when class is in session." He grumbled before sitting down again.
Tsuya released a breath of relief. Katsuki did too honestly.
"Thanks." He whispered to her.
She just gave him a tired smile in reply.
She's been giving him those a lot lately in reply instead of words.
But she didn't have to.
Those replies themselves already spoke a thousand words.
(But that also made him wonder just how many were also left unsaid.)
^^*************^^
He was being followed.
Maybe he's always been that sharp and aware of his surroundings. Maybe it was lingering paranoia from the incident.
(Maybe it was regret from not heeding it sooner when he should've.)
Growling, he turned around, a scowl on his face. God, he was not in the mood for this. This day was $hitty enough already and he was pissed.
At least he might get a chance to blow off some steam.
"The fu$k you extras want?" he snarled.
"Big talk from a pip punk like you." A boy with scaly skin sneered. He was older than Katsuki, a senior from the looks of it.
"All bark and no bite." Another one- probably one of Scaly's lackeys- added. This one with close set eyes and a rounder figure that reminded Katsuki of a gorilla.
"Hey look." This one was taller and lither, all his body proportions unnaturally long. "He brought his toys to school." He jeered pointing at the All Might action figure attached to his bag.
"Fu$k off and mind your own business." Katsuki huffed.
He turned around, letting those extras know he couldn't give two $hits about them. They weren't worth his time.....
He felt himself jerk back as someone grabbed his bag away from him.
"Oi! Give that back you bastards!" he snarled.
"D'aw, look guys, he has a little doll." Long Body mock-cooed as they grabbed the All Might action figure off and waved it tauntingly before him.
"I said, give. That. Back." Katsuki growled, his patience wearing thin.
"Or what?" Scaly asked.
"Or I'll blow your @$$es so hard you won't even have em when I'm through with you." Katsuki snarled, sparks crackling in his palms, itching to blow them up already.
"Ooooh he's gonna get angery~ I'm terrified." Gorilla said in a whiny voice.
"Man, this thing's crap." Long Body said as he eyed the battered All Might action figure with a sneer.
Then he looked at Katsuki, a cruel smirk on his face.
It was mocking.
It was malicious and merciless.
It was a smirk that told Katsuki he was going to hurt him.
(Fire, smoke, ashes, blood, a hand on his face and then pain, pain, pain, so much pain and agony-)
SNAP!
Katsuki watched in horror as Long Body snapped the All Might leg clean off.
"Whoops!" Long Body pretended to look guilty. "I broke it."
"Maybe his mommy will buy him another doll-"
Rage.
Katsuki thought by now, rage was familiar.
He thought he knew rage.
He did.
But that didn't mean he could control it.
The rage controlled him.
"DIE!"
And all he saw was red.
^^*************^^
Katsuki blinked.
He was underwater again.
But this time, the water was cold.
So cold, it burned.
Noticing the dull throbs of pain, he looked down and saw his knuckles were scraped, the sweet smell of nitroglycerin pungent on his palms and he felt something wet on his face-
He brought a finger up and touched the bottom of his nose. Taking his finger away, he noticed the crimson wet substance on the tip of it.
Oh.
Dazedly, he realized he had a bloody nose.
He heard the gurgle of voices all around him.
They were like a river, streaming as one; all the currents combined a force to be reckoned with.
But one stood out like a waterfall. The currents twice as strong, the flow unforgiving and the impact even more relentless.
Bakugou Mitsuki, his mother.
A very pissed Bakugou Mitsuki.
"Those punks were the ones who threw $hit at him!" his mother snapped, slamming a palm down onto the surface of the table for emphasis- wait, they were in the principal's office? When did they get there?
"But Bakugou-san's retaliation-"
"It's called self-defence, dumb@$$, look it up!" Mitsuki snapped. Then she sighed, shaking her head. It was then, Katsuki suddenly noticed how...tired, she looked. She wasn't frustrated, she was just tired.
Just like him.
"We're done here." Mitsuki said, voice firm. "You wanna talk consequences? Drag those seniors here so we can all have a chat face to face, then we'll talk about 'consequences'."
She turned around and her face softened. Considering the amounts of times Katsuki's been dragged to the office, that was certainly a first.
"Come on, brat. Let's go." She said, gently placing an arm around his shoulder and guiding him out.
Still in a daze, he only snapped out of it slightly when he registered the rumble of the car engine. He also took notice of the slight bump in his pocket.
Confused, he rummaged inside and pulled out.....Izu's All Might action figure, one of the legs still broken off leaving one of them in a stump.
A cut on his face stung as a salty tear seeped into it.
"Hey...." He looked up and saw his old hag glancing back at him now that they were at a red light.
"I'll make you some curry then we can ask your old man to fix that up, kay?" she offered.
Katsuki just nodded.
(The hope he was clinging onto seemed as sturdy as the broken All Might action figure in his hand. So small and so easy to break.)
^^*************^^
"Hey....you okay?" Tsuya asked the next day when they met up.
Katsuki shrugged, hands stuffed in his pockets. He tried to pretend his nose wasn't still throbbing slightly, no doubt from a fist that connected with it yesterday.
"What happened?" she asked.
"Bunch of seniors were @$$hats." He grunted. "Pissed me off."
She didn't say anything but she didn't need to. Her worried gaze was enough to convey the message.
".......you know beating people up won't fix things, right?" she said, voice quiet.
But Katsuki heard it.
Maybe he was still pissed off about yesterday.
Maybe he was just tired of having to put up with $hit and hoping that it'll fly by.
Maybe he was just tired of the way people walked on eggshells around him and subtly tried to control how he should and shouldn't get his $hit back together.
Maybe he was sick of the pity people gave him over his helplessness of it all.
(Maybe he was simply cold to the point he was frozen solid and he finally cracked.)
"Will you STOP THAT?!" he found himself shouting but screw it all, he couldn't care less if the whole neighbourhood heard him, the burning was raging and he needed to just let it out before it turned him burned him into nothing.
"I KNOW BEATING THE $HIT OUT OF OTHERS WILL SOLVE $HIT! I KNOW I'M STILL A FU$KING MESS, I KNOW I WAS FU$KING THERE AND I FU$KING SAW IT ALL! I KNOW I'LL NEVER FORGET, I KNOW I ALMOST DIED, I KNOW, OK?!?! I KNOW......." And just like that....the fire left him, leaving nothing but cold ashes that were easily blown away by the wind. "I know the pain is still there to stay." He finished, voice choking with emotions because damn it, now that the anger was gone only grief could take its place now.
He glanced up and saw Tsuya trembling somewhat, her shoulders tensed, mouth pressed into a firm line, her lips quivering and her back so rigid, it looked ready to buckle at any moment.
"At least you don't have to put up with the pain of losing someone you consider a mother twice." She hissed, face twisted in anguish.
"You think I don't know that, Katsuki? You think I don't know the $hit you're trying to go through? YOU THINK IT'S ANY EASIER FOR ME?!" now she was raising her voice too.
Katsuki thanked whatever deity who was listening that they were having this discussion in the underpass where it was just them, the dimness and their voices echoing off the concrete walls, resonating back to hit them full force like a tsunami, each one carrying debris of emotions in its currents.
(At least no one else will be here to witness as they both committed another screw up.)
"You think you're the only one who cared for them? Who cared for Auntie Inko like a second mother? Who cared for Izu like the little brother we never had?!
"I'm tired, ok? I'm just as fu$king exhausted as you! I'm tired of having to carry this weight with me every time I wake up, I'm tired that one of us has to keep trying to support the other and act as though they're trying to heal when they're not! I'm just tired that this...this goddamn pain won't JUST LEAVE, WHY CAN'T WE JUST MOVE ON, GODDAMN IT?!" she punched the wall and in the dimness of the underpass, Katsuki didn't miss the glow as she activated her quirk before slamming her fist into the concrete, leaving a crate in it.
Her body was shaking, chest heaving as she desperately took in breaths that were bordering on sobs, her fingers clenching and unclenching.
(Maybe if Katsuki had paid more attention, he would've noticed the tears dripping down her face. He would've noticed how her knuckles were bloodied.
(He would've noticed the cracks that spreaded.)
"I never asked you to put up with my $hit." Katsuki said.
He never asked for her to be such a good friend to an @$$hole like him.
He never asked for her to put himself before her own wellbeing for him.
Maybe.....maybe both of them weren't strong enough for the other after all.
His conscience screamed at him to stop being so selfish. It demanded he let her go so she can heal because god, after all the crap they've both been through doesn't she deserve that much? A chance to heal without someone like him dragging her down?
But another voice was pointing out at he was still being selfish by doing this. That if he did this, he'll be hurting her all the same; that they should be confronting their demons together, side by side; that he needed to do this with a friend despite how broken both of them were.
He ignored that voice.
(He should've learned not to by then.)
"If I'm such a burden...if I'm making you so sick and tired then maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore."
There. He said it.
(And looking back on that day, he will always regret it.)
A chill swept over them.
It became colder and it made the burning within Katsuki even worse. This time, it crushed his core and stabbed it over and over and-
Oh god, what did he just do?
What the fu$k did he just do?!
He glanced up and saw Tsuya looking at him. Looking him, eyes wide, mouth open but no words came out, her skin pale, her body shaking-
She looked at him like he was a monster.
(But considering the sin he just committed? Maybe it was fitting.)
Katsuki was good at many things.
Words weren't one of them.
"Red, I'm sorry, $hit, I didn't mean-" he quickly blabbed, desperate to try and fix this screw up because fu$k he couldn't lose more, he couldn't have just lost more-
He stepped forward to reach out.
She stepped back away from him as though he burned her.
(And in a way, he did.)
Then she turned around and ran.
Leaving Katsuki alone in that dim underpass with nothing but the shackles of guilt and regret clutching his body and the resonance of his own idiotic words to mock him further.
Leaving him standing there, alone and cold.
"Katsuki? Shouldn't you be at school?"
He blinked and he realized he was home.
Home was supposed to be a place filled with warmth.
Yet, despite standing within it, he still felt cold. His toes numb on the ground and the tips of his fingers nipping with stinging blistering heat.
He slowly looked up and saw his old man gazing at him in concern, the same way Tsuya was doing moments ago before he fu$ked up and spat on years of healthy firm loving loyal friendship and shoved her away and hurt her-
"I fu$ked up."
^^*************^^
They talked.
The old man sat him down and they had a heart-to-heart, something they haven't done in god knows how long.
And talk they did.
Katsuki spilled it all. He told his old man how he was an idiot and a horrible @$$hole who didn't deserve to call himself a friend to someone as good as Tsuya. He told him how much of a failure he truly was when he shoved Tsuya away, deluding himself into thinking he was doing it for her sake when really, he was a coward. He simply did that in blind desperation to get rid of the numb cold burning him when all it did was consume their friendship in an inferno and most likely burned it to ashes, just like the Midoriyas flat residence that night.
He confessed the guilt and regret he felt not just for his actions at the underpass but for his actions before. How he felt like he wasn't just a failure, he was also a burden that kept dragging Tsuya down and how he was a blind dumb@$$ for not noticing how she had been trying twice as hard as him to stay afloat in the drowning mass they call grief and despair.
He had shoved her off the boat and left her to drown instead of letting her stay so both of them could help repair it and keep them both afloat.
"What do I do?" he asked his old man, voice laced with misery. "I don't know how to fix this, what the fu$k can I do?" he placed a hand over his eyes, trying to push back the tears before they could start again.
Normally when he ever needed an adult to talk to about his troubles, he'd go to the old hag. It was only natural considering how similar they were and how they could understand each other despite all the shouting and arguing they always did.
But sometimes....sometimes when it comes to problems that need tactful, sincere, delicate, rational, gentle, emotional advice? He goes to his old man without hesitation.
"Talk to her. Apologize to her." Masaru advised.
Katsuki snorted. As if 'I'm sorry' could sweep it all under the rug.
"It won't be easy." No $hit. "She might not forgive you." He winced at the thought of her hating him forever.
"But that doesn't mean she'll hate you. She might not forgive you today or tomorrow or the day after....maybe she won't forgive you for a while but that doesn't mean she'll hate you. She will forgive you overtime. It might take days or weeks or maybe even months but trust me Katsuki, if your friendship with her is anything to go by....I'd say there's a pretty high chance for you two to reconcile." He told Katsuki, voice patient with that fatherly wisdom Katsuki hoped he could one day attain.
Not necessarily the father part, just the wisdom part.
"She'll seriously just drop it? Just like that?" he asked. His hope dropped when he saw his old man shake his head.
"I won't lie, Katsuki. Yes, what you did hurt her. And well....injuries leave scars." A phantom pain washed over his scars as though to voice their agreement.
"Neither of you will forget but that doesn't mean you can't forgive. A sincere apology has three parts; I'm sorry, it's my fault and most importantly, what can I do to make it right? Actions speak louder than words.
"If you're sorry, say you are and this time, try to use the right words. After that? You show you're sorry. Give Tsuya time and space, offer her help and let her choose to accept it or deny it, let her come to forgive you in her own terms not just as a childhood friend but as a person who you hurt. Reconcile your friendship because she wants to, not out of obligation."
For a while, Katsuki sat there, absorbing the words and letting them settle in his thick skull, giving them time to place themselves on the rocky messy surface he calls his emotions.
And like that day when he made his- no, when he and Tsuya made their vow, a spark reignited within him.
He stood up and walked out of the door, uncaring if he was still in his school uniform.
"I'm heading over to Red's." he told his old man.
He just smiled at him, his smile full of support and encouragement.
"Good luck, son." Masaru said.
He's definitely gonna need bucket loads of that.
But if he fails.....he's gonna at least fail trying.
As he walked towards the Hoshikos residence, for the first time in days....he didn't feel cold to the point it burned. Now it merely tingled under his skin.
And though Katsuki wasn't the most cheerful person in the world, he couldn't deny that being able to bask in the warmth of the sunlight felt glorious.
^^*************^^
Katsuki swallowed nervously, the Hoshikos residence looming over him ominously, as though challenging his presence on its grounds.
'You can do this. You can do this. Just go in and say- I'm sorry, I fu$ked up, I didn't mean to say that but I did because I'm an idiot and a horrible friend and I hope you can forgive me someday. Yeah. Come on you little punk, move your @$$ already.' He pep-talked/scolded himself.
Raising a hand- he tried to ignore how it trembled slightly- he rang the doorbell.
"Coming!" a moment later, the door opened and he was face to face with a towering wall of muscle courtesy of Hoshiko Seiki.
The older Hoshiko blinked in surprise when he saw Katsuki on his doorstep.
"Katsuki? Shouldn't you be in school?" he asked.
"I need to talk to Red." Katsuki blurted out. "Please I....." he screwed his eyes shut in shame and took a deep breath. "I messed up." He admitted.
"......is that why she came home in tears earlier?" Seiki asked, his voice was even but deeper, like rumbling waves rippling underneath the deceptively calm surface of water.
"I was a horrible friend, I screwed up and I know I did. That's why I'm here, that's why I need to apologize." Sucking up his pride, he bowed down. "Please, let me at least apologize to her. If she doesn't ever want to see me again afterwards, I'll never step foot here ever again."
Silence.
It couldn't have been more than a minute at best.
To Katsuki, it was the slowest, most tense one minute of his life.
It was as taut as a bowstring but as thin as a trapeze wire, and his friendship with Tsuya was precariously wavering back and forth on it.
"Okay. You can come in." Seiki finally said and god, it felt good to breathe again.
Stepping inside, a wave of nostalgia hit Katsuki when he remembered the numerous visits, sleepovers and playdates he had with Tsuya here.
Running down the hallways, watching cartoons and movies, sliding down the stairs, wearing their socks and gliding across the smooth hardwood floors despite their parents telling them not to again and again, climbing onto higher surfaces to reach the top shelf where extra snacks/ sweets were kept, heck he even recognized the one vase him and Tsuya once accidentally knocked over when they were playing Heroes VS Villains and they'd gotten a bit carried away.
Maybe he was reminiscing because this could be the last time he ever sets foot inside this place that held so many precious memories he took for granted.
(That thought made the coldness return, the burning once again consuming him.)
He hurriedly shoved that negative thought down and chastised himself. He was here to apologize and if she doesn't accept it, she doesn't. He sucks it up and after that, all he can do is wait and see how the wind blows.
He hoped the wind didn't blow him out of her life for good.
"She's in her room. She might be napping so don't be surprised if she keeps quiet." Seiki told Katsuki.
Nodding his thanks, he trudged up the stairs towards the familiar door that led to Tsuya's room.
A part of him hoped he wasn't interrupting Tsuya's sleep. The girl was a light sleeper but she hated it when people woke her up outside of her consent.
Never get between a girl and her sleep. Katsuki's learned that the hard way.
He stood in front of her door, once again hesitating.
He felt cold again.
It was making him freeze up.
His body was numb but his fingertips felt a blistering burn. The burn began to spread to the tips of his toes until he couldn't take it anymore.
If he stood out there any longer.....the cold, the burning, numbing, painful, cold would kill him for sure.
(It'd shatter him.)
Thunk. Thunk.
Knuckles lightly rapped against wood as he knocked on the door.
"Red? It's me.....Katsuki. Can I come in? ........please? I...I messed up and I just...want to say I'm sorry. I want to at least say it to you face to face, I owe you that much."
No reply.
"Red? Come on, if you're gonna throw it back at my face, do it. Don't leave me hanging cuz I ain't budging till I get an answer, whether it's a yes or a no." he tried again.
Silence.
The silence felt...eerie.
It felt cold, just like the coldness wrapped around him, refusing to leave.
"Red? You still asleep? Red?" he raised his voice slightly, hoping it would rouse her from her possible slumber.
Still no answer.
"Red? Oi! Come on, please." He raised his voice once more, desperation lacing it somewhat. "Red!" he called again, rapping his knuckles against the door harder.
Still nothing.
His gut was curdling like sour milk, something within him was screaming at something was wrong, something bad's happened, he had to do something-
He wasn't going to make the same mistake twice.
He listened to it.
He acted on it right then and there.
His hand wrapped around the doorknob and with a twist and nudge, it opened.
"Red?" he called out. Katsuki tried to ignore the slight guilt he felt at technically entering her room without her permission.
Sure, he's done it before dozens of times but back then, it had been with her consent and presence. Man, he felt a bit low doing this.
He felt his heartbeat pick up when he saw the empty bed but if its messy state was anything to go by she was definitely here recently but the bed was devoid of any sleeping form so where was she-
There! A line of light filtering through the narrow gap under the bathroom door. She had to be in there!
Oh.....she was in the bathroom.....
Oh.
..........well fu$k, this just got awkward on another level.
"Red?" he called again.
"Don't come in!" her voice screams through the door and it was raw with terror and desperation, it grated against Katsuki's instincts screaming at him that something was wrong, wrong, wrong, act now, act you dumb@$$!
He tries to open the door, only to realize with horror that it's been locked. Well that just fan-fu$king-tastic!
Taking a few steps back, he roars as he charges towards the door and throws his entire body towards it, shoulder slamming it with all his might with a strength even he didn't know he possessed.
The door burst open and Katsuki stumbled into a sight he will never forget.
Blood.
That's the first thing he registers, that thought alone numbing any lingering pain he could've felt throbbing on his shoulder.
The crimson substance stained the tiles of the bathroom.
Then he saw Tsuya's form sitting on the ground, a towel pressed over her hand.
A towel that was slowly turning red from the same crimson substance.
There was a glint of something small and metallic lying on the ground nearby.
A razor blade.
A bloodstained razor blade.
The cold decided that it was done with burning.
Instead, it chose to ignite.
And ignite it did as Katsuki felt himself consumed by nightmares he wished weren't real. The scars on his face screeched in phantom pain as the burn consumed it once more.
Hand guy whipped a gun out, a pistol to be precise.
Katsuki and Tsuya opened their mouth to scream or shout a warning or beg him to stop, they didn't know, everything faded to white noise in the background including their voices.
The trigger was pulled
A piercing BANG!
Inko jerked back like a puppeteer yanking back her strings.
Her grip on Izuku loosened, he feel out of her embrace, out of her protective and love and warmth.
Her body hit the ground with a thud.
Both Katsuki and Tsuya's mouths were wide open but not a single sound came out, eyes wide as saucers. Everything around them- the fire, the destroyed furniture, the blood seeping from their own wounds, the suffocating smoke, the foreboding heat, all the destruction and chaos- became irrelevant.
All they could see was Midoriya Inko's body, lying on the floor, a puddle of blood gradually forming under her head, staining her luscious green hair a twisted red. Her emerald eyes once shining with life, compassion and warmth now dull and staring blankly. Her mouth stayed parted open slightly but no words slipped out, instead making way to a haunting void of chilling silence.
"MAMAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
"NOOOOOOO!"
They both screamed. Their voices raw with emotion, tearing out of their throats like sandpaper, their insides consumed by a burning agony like the flat they were trapped in-
NO!
He couldn't let himself get turned to ashes. Not now, not yet.
Tsuya's eyes are wide with terror, her body was shaking like an autumn leaf, her mouth was opened wide but before she could utter even a syllable, Katsuki acts.
(He ignores the burning cold that's increased tenfold to the point it was shredding his entire being.)
He kicked the razor out of the way, the sharp flat piece of metal skittering across the tiles away from arms reach. At the same time, he surged forward and gripped Tsuya's hands as tightly as he could to the point both of their skins were bone-white.
"LET ME GO!" he hears Tsuya screamed as she tried to wrench free of his grip.
"NO!" he yells back but god, he wanted to say so much more than that.
Taking a deep breath, he yells at the top of his lungs to be heard over the struggles.
"UNCLE SEEEEEEIKIIIIIIII!!! HEEEEEEEEEELP!" he roars at the top of his lungs, uncaring if the whole@$$ neighbourhood heard him and if they did then screw it, they could sue him the next morning once he's sure his BFF wasn't dying!
"NO!" Tsuya gasped, tone pleading. "Don't please-"
Too late. Her door bursts open and Seiki is there, alert and ready, eyes already darting everywhere to assess the situation.
Katsuki felt his grip shaking...only to realize it wasn't his grip but Tsuya's hands-no, her entire body that was shaking. Sobs tore through her throat, each one wracking her body and tears dripped down as she hung her head down, unwilling to meet any of their gazes.
Through her sobs, the hiccups and hitching gasps, he could hear her trying to say something but it was all desperate incoherent syllables to his ears.
(Each syllable stabbed his heart.)
He felt his grip loosen, her arms dropping out of his grip but she didn't wrench them back to her. She let them limply fall so the cuts were there for them to see. Katsuki wasn't sure just how many cuts there were considering the crimson sheen that covered her arm made it hard to distinguish where it was leaking from.
Katsuki wanted to vomit when the coppery-smell of blood hit his nostrils and fu$k he wanted to cry, how much more fu$ked up could this day get for the both of them?
(Haven't they been through enough pain already?
(How much more was fate going to throw at them until they broke?)
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't- I'm sorry." She sniffled through her sobs.
Katsuki felt Uncle Seiki all but throw him aside and he stepped forward.
For a moment, Katsuki thought he was going to comfort her, take control of the situation before it could become worse-
Only for him to see Uncle Seiki's hand shoot out like a viper's tongue, towards Tsuya neck.
The moment he applied pressure to the back of her neck, her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she slumped forward. Her face would've kissed the ground had Uncle Seiki not been there to catch her.
"Did you just fu$king knock your own daughter out?!" Katsuki found it in himself to blurt out once he managed to snap out of the shock.
Holy $hit, he knew Uncle Seiki was a bad@$$ martial artist but he just went and jiu-jitsu knockout his own daughter. His own daughter!
"Got any better ideas?" he asked.
......true. Sides, he was the adult here.
Then Katsuki remembered that his BFF was unconscious and still bleeding. Already, Uncle Seiki was taking charge, wrapping the towel around the cuts on her right forearm and applying pressure to slow the bleeding.
Seeing as to how his hands were full, Katsuki quickly fished his phone out and called an ambulance.
Ten minutes later- to Katsuki they felt like agonizingly slow ten hours- the ambulance arrived.
Katsuki didn't know when he moved out of Tsuya's bathroom and towards the back of an ambulance where Tsuya was being loaded, Uncle Seiki hopping inside with him.
The doors closed and he felt the ground shift as they began their drive towards the hospital.
He reached a shaky hand and grabbed Tsuya's. He placed two fingers on her wrist and almost cried when he detected a pulse- she was still alive.
He wasn't alone.
He hasn't lost her, not yet.
But that reassurance didn't rid him of the cold.
He was still cold, cold to the point he burned. He could still feel it shimmering under his skin, persistent but dulled.
It still hurts.
But the hurt was even worse now.
He pressed his forehead against Tsuya's hand, as though doing so would be able to convey all the words he wanted to say but couldn't express.
I'm sorry I snapped at you.
I'm sorry I pushed you away.
I'm sorry you had to put up with a $hitty @$$hole like me.
I'm sorry I hurt you so bad, you thought it justified you hurting yourself.
I'm sorry I failed you.
I'm sorry I left you.
I'm sorry I hurt you.
I'm sorry for being a horrible friend.
The last part felt like All Might's Texas Smash to his gut.
A choked sob escaped his throat.
He failed Tsuya as a friend, the same way he failed Izu as a brother.
(Once again, he wished he had just burned to ash that night. Why did he have to live on only to make things worse?)
He hurt Tsuya.
That didn't just label him as a villain, it labelled him as a horrible excuse for a friend and that hurt, it burned him just as bad as that Hand bastard did when he grabbed his face.
"Katsuki." He glanced up at the gentle but firm voice. Uncle Seiki gazed back at him.
"She needs us." He said. "She's strong but more than ever...she needs both of us. She doesn't just need her father, she needs her best friend."
He.....he still considered him worthy as her best friend despite the $hit he put her through?
Katsuki could only wordlessly nod. No amount of words able to convey the gratitude and relief because he still had a chance to fix this.
And he was going to fix this.
Once Tsuya woke up, he would be there for her every step of the way. He owed her that much after everything.
He's going to help give her the support she needs.
The support she's needed all along.
And this time....he'll do it right.
But until then....even as they rode towards the hospital, even with Uncle Seiki there giving him silent support, even though he still held onto Tsuya's hand, even as he felt her pulse under his fingertips.....
Katsuki still felt cold.
And it was still cold enough to burn.
And it hurts.
"Don't go Red." He whispered. "Please....."
Please don't leave him alone in the cold.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Next chapter will be from Tsuya's POV.