During the ride back to Jeongguk's house, Jimin tries to keep silent. He doesn't feel like explaining himself, nevermind the incident in the teacher's lounge.
But he can tell that the policeman is looking at him with prying eyes any chance that he can get. And he knows that no matter how long he tries to ignore it, Jeongguk isn't going to quit until he decides to toughen up and say something.
And so he does.
"Stop staring at me, please."
"You shouldn't have walked alone this morning. You should have waited. For all you know he could have been following you all the way to school. You have to be smart," Jeongguk tells him bluntly with a neutral expression as he looks ahead.
Jimin bites down on the insides of his cheeks, displaying a rather petulant expression as he looks out the window, frustrated. He knows what he did was stupid.
But early mornings are the worst for him when he sees Jeongguk and So-Young cozy in the kitchen. It's just a painful reminder of something he'll never have with the person he'll never have. It's brutal in every way imaginable to the point that he can't look into Jeongguk's eyes without almost crying.
Torture, is what it is.
"So-Young told me she's going out tonight with a couple of friends and won't be back till later in the afternoon tomorrow which means I'll be cooking. I know you haven't told her anything and I've kept your secret safe for you. That means you won't have to worry about her knowing when you explain yourself once we get to my place," the policeman states as if he has the whole thing mapped out in his head and Jimin finally spares him a pointed, vexed look.
"And what if I changed my mind? What if I just said that so you would leave me alone? You don't have to know every single thing that happens every single second of my life, Jeongguk. It's called privacy," Jimin retorts with a childish huff.
The car pulls up to a red light and Jeongguk takes this moment to turn to Jimin. "Out of all of the things you can call it, you decide to pick nosy? Jimin, your psychotic ex is stalking you and you can't even see that I care enough to wanna keep you safe? Why won't you look me in the eyes when I'm speaking to you? Why won't you just let me in? Why won't you-"
"You know why!" Jimin shouts, staring at Jeongguk with a trembling bottom lip and raised brows. "...You fucking know why, Jeongguk. So just... please. Give me a second," he begs with glossy eyes, turning his attention back to his lap.
Jeongguk appears rather stunned, staring at the upset man in his passenger seat. The policeman exhales deeply through his nose and averts his attention back to the road, driving as the light has turned green.
A deafening silence lingers in the air and neither Jimin nor Jeongguk are brave enough to break it; and at the moment, sitting impassively for the rest of the drive there seems to be the only thing either of them are capable of.
And as soon as Jeongguk pulls up into his driveway, Jimin is the first to jump out of the car and march straight into the house. He heads straight to the spare bedroom and climbs into bed, wrapping himself in his blankets. He doesn't care how juvenile he's being. He wants Officer Jeon to know that he's frustrated.
Shortly the front door closes and Jimin hears the man shuffling about, kicking his shoes off and placing his keys on the counter. He sits still and awaits their impending argument because he knows for sure that that wasn't the end of their conversation. Hell, it's like it never ends.
And just as he thinks, the man approaches his spare bedroom, leaning against the doorframe. His lips are in a straight line but rather than sporting an indifferent expression, his soft yet somehow sharp features are coated with a tame layer of resentment as he stares at the human burrito on the bed.
"Are you ready to talk yet?" he asks with a lifted brow and Jimin looks at him for half a second before he looks back to the blankets, shaking his head.
Jeongguk sighs and walks into the room, taking a seat next to Jimin on the bed. He can see the man shift with uncertainty.
"Relax, I'm not going to touch you. I know I've been pushy but I just want you to talk to me. You can confide in me, profession to the side, yeah?" Jeongguk suggests and Jimin slips his hand out from beneath the blanket to draw circles against the sheets with his forefinger.
"You can't say that while still in uniform, Officer," he points out with a meek timbre and Jeongguk titters.
"Touché," he says, peering down at his uniform. "But unfortunately I'm still on duty and have to hit the road again."
The blanket falls off of Jimin's head and he peers over at the policeman with a disquiet look in his eyes.
"Please, don't go. I shouldn't have left early this morning without you," he finally admits with great desperation and his small hands lurch onto Jeongguk's legs. He squeezes softly without knowing and the policeman looks at the way Jimin's little fingers dip into his thighs.
"Have you gotten any texts from him recently?" Officer Jeon asks and Jimin shakes his head.
"No, but..." he starts and then closes his mouth, unsure if he wants to continue. But the pressing, eager look in Jeongguk's eyes has him caving. "There's this guy at work and it's really not that big of a deal but he just triggered something in me. That's why I was crying," Jimin finishes and his voice trails off into more of a hushed tone.
Jeongguk shifts and only then does Jimin really realize where his hands are. He pulls them away from the policeman's thighs and blushes.
"What do you mean triggered something? What did he do?" Jeongguk asks and Jimin's shocked to hear his calm timbre dissolve - now being much more consequential.
"It's a long story," the teacher mutters, however Jeongguk isn't buying it. He stays put, stubbornly, not moving a single muscle as he stares into Jimin's eyes, prying into his mind in seek of an answer.
"I have the time," he states flatly and the teacher sends him a perplexed look.
"But you just said you have to go-"
"Stop stalling, Jimin. Tell me what happened. I'm not leaving until you tell me," he warns and Jimin can't help but wonder when he got so blunt in questioning. Perhaps his ability to interrogate and with impeccable success transcends his career as a police officer. Not good.
"Jeongguk, I-"
Jimin is cut off as his jaw is gripped tenderly in Jeongguk's hand, and he gasps softly.
He knows his cheeks are as red as Rudolph's glowing nose because the temperature in his body as well as the room has risen and immediately. His eyes are fretful as they shift to and from both of the policeman's, unsure of where to land - unsure of where is safe to land.
But Jeongguk grips his chin a little bit tighter and the teacher looks at him with still eyes, however a screaming heartbeat.
"I'm giving you one last chance, Jimin. I saw who followed you out of the teacher's lounge. I know he who is. So tell me before I force it out of him instead," Officer Jeon demands and Jimin gulps, nodding his head softly.
Jeongguk's hand leaves his chin slowly and for a moment he feels like he can breathe. He fiddles with his fingers - much like he always does - and the policeman stops him by placing his hand on top of his.
The teacher freezes and bites on his bottom lip. It's amusing to him that no matter how many times he makes himself clear, no matter how many times he tells Jeongguk to keep his hands away, he fails.
In a sense, it's endearing. Yet just as dangerous and difficult not to get high off of the thrill of it. The warm, mellow graze of his fingers when things aren't going right. The soothing, tender consistency of his voice as it floods into his ears, putting his body at ease. A remedy, is what Jimin pegs it to be. Something - or rather someone special that cannot be bought at stores. One of a kind. It's evidently his inclination rather than a choice and Jimin finds reverence in it.
And he just so happens to be sitting right in front of Jimin, looking deep into his eyes, yearning for the truth. An explanation. The teacher finds himself drowning in his eyes, seemingly allowing the rapids to pull him deep and without mercy.
It hurts. He needs to look away. Has to. But he can't. Jeongguk is succeeding in tearing down his walls, unequivocally.
"He... he's touched me, before," he says quietly and his eyes never leave Jeongguk's as he divulges the dark truth. Suddenly the policeman's grip on his hands grow tighter.
"J-Jeongguk, you're hurting me," he says quietly yet the man doesn't listen. He's livid and Jimin can tell in the way his jaw twitches. In the way his fingers curl around his hands tightly, his knuckles turning white.
"Jeongguk, please," he begs almost in a broken tone and the policeman finally snaps out of it. He pulls his hands away from Jimin's and he stands from the bed, running his fingers through his hair.
"I'm gonna fucking kill him," he grits and Jimin stands from the bed, blanket falling to the floor. He walks up to Jeongguk urgently, stoping him from pacing.
"You need to calm down, please. It's okay - he hasn't done it in awhile," Jimin implores but the policeman's jaw remain taut and his eyes are narrow. His soft brows have somehow sharpened in their furrowed state, perfectly depicting his anger.
"You can't tell me he's touched you and then expect me not to do anything - Jimin, that's sexual assault," Jeongguk brings up sternly and the teacher shrinks, shoulders falling.
There's a reason he's never said anything.
"I can't, Jeongguk. I just can't," Jimin says and his voice dwindles. The pain in his voice is evident and the sheen layer hugging his eyes sends no different of a heartbreaking message.
"Why can't you? Why won't you?" the man presses and Jimin can feel himself as he's about to burst into tears. This is too much. He know he shouldn't have said anything. But the way Jeongguk was looking at him - it was impossible.
"Because in my last relationship if I told anybody anything I'd get beaten!" he shouts and his small hands ball up into fists. He can't help himself now. He's crying, but he silently believes that it's his own fault. His own fault for being so weak and powerless.
Jimin's knees collide with the floor. His hands press to his face and he cries. He's tired. He's so tired to the extent that Jeongguk hugging him close doesn't trigger any of the familiar, giddy sentiments in his stomach. But he hugs him back, wrapping his arms around his neck. He buries his face into his shoulder, sobbing quietly.
"I'm sorry," the teacher blubbers into Jeongguk's uniform and the man hums softly, rubbing Jimin's back up and down.
"You don't have to be sorry. You just have to be strong. Can you do that for me?" the policeman asks and he feels Jimin nod against his shirt.
"I can try for you."