We had gotten back to TonDC fairly quickly the next morning, before the sun bad even risen. The whole time Lexa held my hand with a vice grip, as if letting go she would be letting go of everything she had. As if letting go, she would be letting go of me forever.
When we came into view to the gates of TonDC we rely reluctantly let go of each other and walked into the sleeping village.
"Heda! Wanheda!" Anya and Gustus instantly came to our sides, "We've been looking everywhere for the both of you. We found Nero and Quint's bodies in the woods, we assumed you were all mould by the Pauna." Anya comments as she follows on my left a few steps behind, Gustus mimicking the position on Lexa's side.
"We almost were if it weren't for Wanheda. I owe her my life Anya." Lexa says casually, her stoic facade having fallen into place. My own mask had come down and my expression blank, causing the guards on night watch to retreat away from me. As if they were afraid death were stalking them in the shadows.
"Are you both alright? Are you injured? Do you need Nyko?" Gustus questions, stopping when Lexa cuts him off with a wave.
"No need, Wanheda ready mended my injuries. Now, both of you leave us. We're not to be disturbed unless it's urgent." Lexa commands. Instantly the two obey her orders and retreat as Lexa leads me into her tent.
As soon as the tent flaps closed she sighed heavily and removed her armer, she got stuck when she got to removing her upper armer because of her shoulder.
"Here," I walk over to her, "Let me help." She puts her hands down and let's me unbuckle her armer and slide it off of her gently, staring intently at my face the whole time, making me blush profusely.
"There." I mumble softly once it was off, placing it on the table before looking back to Lexa. My breath hitches once I notice how close our faces are, our noses almost brushing.
This position bought me back to the memory of last week, how we stood right where we are now and kissed.
I could feel the hot air of her breathing on my lips as we stare into each other's eyes. Butterflies were erupting in my stomach as my breath deepens, my body tingling.
Her eyes skipped down to my lips before darting to my eyes, I forget how to breathe when she rests her hand on my waist, her eyes trained on my lips.
We both leant forward slowly, our eyes closing in anticipation as our breaths mix, my body tingling all over as a burning sensation rushes through my very bones.
"We simply hot caught up in the moment Klark, we were both craving for human connection with someone we trust and we were the only ones there at the time. Its just a kiss, and it will never happen again"
I jolt away just before our lips touch, pulling out of her embrace just as I see a flash of disappointment across her face before she covers it up with a calm expression making me think I imagined it.
"I-uh...We-... We've been here before Leksa, and we both agreed it was a mistake and wouldn't happen again. We can't do this, not again...." I insist, remembering how she reacted the last time.
She didn't actually want me, not in the way I wanted her. She just wanted a distraction.
But how do I want her?
Lexa nods calmly, deathly silent. She keeps her eyes trained to the floor as the air around us seems to thicken and it's as if the walls are closing in. All of a sudden all I wanted was out of here and away from this akward situation.
"I-im," I clear my throat, pulling myself to my full size as I put my mask into place, "I'm going to go and check on how my people are going. Just send for me is I'm needed."
Lexa nods back again, glancing at me then at my lips then back at the floor with her calm expression somehow intact, as if she didn't nearly kiss her childhood best friend.
She doesn't care... She doesn't want me. She just wants the distraction I can provide.
With one finally look I turn and walk out of the tent, gulping in the fresh air once outside as if I had been underwater for years.
It felt like it.
I sigh and nod to the guards standing by the tent before making my way over to Ravens, I know she wouldn't have been able to sleep properly without knowing where I was.
I pause halfway there though, knowing her she's probably in my tent. It's what she did when I was away. Always sneaking into my tent when she missed me, was worried about me or something was bothering her. She also comes in when I'm asleep so she's not alone, some night we just simply need to be held.
I nod to my guards at the tent, Miller and another girl. I dismiss them as I walk though the flap and they nod and leave, Miller squeezing my shoulder gently before retreating.
I walk in and see Raven asleep on my bed, above the furs with her clothes and shoes still on, hugging the blankets.
I smile warmly at my friend and undress quietly to jot wake her, changing into my casual attire, a black singlet with jeans. I leave my boots and weapon off since I'm only here and there's weapons stowed everywhere in the tent incase of a suprise attack.
I brush out my knotty white hair, the red dye having washed out just after arriving to TonDC.
Looking back at Raven I quietly approach her, untying her boots and slipping them off. She squirms but eventually settled back down after I pull off her leg brace.
I go over to the other side of the bed and pull back the covers, going over to Raven and picking her up softly, walking her to the other side and tucking her in.
"Clarkey...?" I heard her groggy voice call in a croaky whisper as she peers up at me with barely open eyes.
I bend down and brush her hair behind her ear, "I'm here, it's ok. I'm safe. Go back to sleep. The sun isn't up yet." I run my fingers through her hair as she gives a barely nod and falls back to sleep.
I look around the tent, suddenly missing the presence of my friends and family, sure I had Raven, Monty, Murphy, Lexa and a few of the others with me but that didn't stop the need to see my sister, Charlotte.
I wondered how she was going about 'Trial by fire', she had only seen the challenge once when she was young and she took it hard.
I understand how Bellamy feels with being away from his sister all the time. Remembering a conversation I had with him the night he left to go to infiltrate the mountain.
I had been lazing around my tent for the good of an hour with nothing to do, all of the war meetings for today had ended and just as I was about to leave and try and find something to do a voice calls out from the flap of my tent, I call for them to enter as I close the sleeping quarters of my tent and watch as Bellamy wondered in.
"Hey Bell." I greet him, accepting the hug. We hadn't gotten to see each other much because I'm so busy planning the war and he's trying to reconnect with his sister.
"Hey, I wanted to come say bye before I left with Lincoln." He greets.
"So your not gonna try and murder your sisters lover?" I raise a brow at him as I pour us each a cup of water and we sit down at the table.
"Eh. Cards are still on the table." He shrugs, taking a sip.
We sit on silence for a few moments, staring off into the fire in the middle of the tent before I speak
"How are things with Octavia?" I wonder.
"Good. There going good. She keeps trying to get me to join Trikru and tell her secrets about us but I keep refusing." He takes a sip as I finally look at him, nodding.
"I understand if you ever change your find Bellamy, she's your sister so if you feel that Trikru is a better place for you, I'll support that." I support him, knowing how he's been struggling to choose where he wants to be.
"If I do that I feel like I'm letting you down, like I'm letting our people down." He lowers his head.
"Bellamy, our people will understand. She is your sister, your blood, the little girl you watched grow up and raise. No one expects you to just forget about that. No one expects for you to not have the desire to be with her more." I set down my drink as he does too.
"But you are my queen-" he goes to argue back before I interrupt him.
"But I am also your friend. I know what it's like to want to be close with you family Bellamy, and in this world we live in we never know when we don't get to have that opportunity anymore. If becoming Trikru is something you really want, than I am all for it. I'll help with the ceremony and everything," I tell him seriously, glaring into his eyes, "What is it you say..? Blood is thicker than water? Yes, I may be your queen, but I am also fair and just and I will never stop you from being with your sister."
"Thank you Clarke. I'm just not sure what I want to do yet." He gruffs out, running a hand through his hair.
"Well, whatever you choose Bell, know that me, nor our people, will ever be disappointed in you."
He nods as he stands up, "Thanks Clarke." We share a nod before he walks out.
"Hello! Clarke! Quit the day dreaming!" Raven's groggy voice demands my attention.
"Taking up my bed again are we?"
She smirks at me suggestively, a mischievous spark in her eye.
"Please, you love me taking up your bed." She snarks. I huff and roll my eyes with a chuckle.
"You good?" She sits up, sober all of a sudden and motions for me to join her. I sit beside her as she tucks me into her side.
"Ugh...everything's just...confusing," I admit, looking up at her, "I don't like feelings. Especially when I don't know what it is I'm feeling."
"Yea, the hearts funny that way," Raven patts my thigh sympatheticaly, "So, who's the one who has my best friends ice cold heart melting into a puddle of puppy love?"
"No one.." I mumble with a blush, looking away "It doesn't matter anyway, the feelings not reciprocated." I roll my eyes at the last part, sulky.
"Well, how do you know? Maybe they like you too, but their just too scared to tell you."
"No, they told me alright. And the feelings definitely not reciprocated."
Raven sighs and pulls me closer, I look up at her for a moment before cupping her jaw and pulling her closer into a heated kiss. Desperate for human connection after being rejected by the one person I wanted it from most.
It turns into a makeout session with Raven ending up in my lap, our tongues battling for dominance that I let her have as she pushes me onto my back, kneeling between my parted legs.
"Distract me Rae, please..." I whisper on her ear as she trails hot kisses up my neck.
"Shh, it's ok. Let me take care of you." She replied with as she pulled off my shirt.
Hᴇʏ Tʀᴇᴀsᴜʀᴇ's! Tʜɪs ʙᴏᴏᴋ ʜᴀs ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴛʏ sᴜᴄᴄᴇssғᴜʟ, sᴜʀᴘʀɪsɪɴɢʟʏ. Sᴏ ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏ'ᴀʟʟ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ sᴜᴘᴘᴏʀᴛ, ɪ ᴀᴘᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴀᴛᴇ ɪᴛ sᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ. 😘
Xx~ Gʟɪᴛᴄʜ.