It had been almost a week since you and Sam returned from your hunt, Cas seemed different. He was distant and you didn't see him much, currently you sat in the library reading one of your favorite books. Sam and Dean where out on a hunt, and Cas was doing whatever it is thay he does. You closed the book and stood, you walked towards the kitchen. You pulled open the fridge and searched through it, soon you found a unopened bottle of whiskey. You smiled and walked towards your room, once inside you turned on the TV.
Grabbing the remote you sat down on your bed, you flipped through the channels and settled on a movie. You popped open the bottle of whiskey and chugged away, you didn't know what was up with your angelic boyfriend. But you wish you knew, suddenly the bottle of whiskey was empty. And you felt very tipsy, you looked at the clock next to you. It was about 4:30am now, you frowned last you checked the time ot was 12am. How 20 minutes turned into four and half friggin hours, was a complete mystery to you.
You shrugged it off and set the bottle on the side table next to you, you closed your eyes letting out a sigh. "What in the bloody hell happened here?" You heard the familiar, scottish man say.
You abruptly sat up shocked "Crowley?" You questioned in a slurr.
He glared at you "What the hell are you doing?" He questioned, clearly upset of the state you where in. You giggled shrugged, he sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. With a snap of his fingers you felt yourself completely sober, "Okay, now what in the bloody hell has gotten into you?" He asked.
You sighed and ran a hand down your face "Uhm, I think Cas is hiding something from me. He's been distant lately, and he hasn't been the same since he went on that hunt with Dean. I'm worried, I feel like he doesn't love me anymore or something...." You muttered, your heart breaking slightly.
The demon sighed and sat on your bed "Bumblebee I'm sure he still loves you, and if he is hiding something I'm sure he'll tell you. Just give feathers some time." He said softly.
You smiled "Thanks Crowley, I really needed that." You said.
He let out a loud exaggerated sigh "Now, where's moose and squirrel?" He asked.
"A hunt, they should be back tomorrow. " You said, just as you said the bunker door slammed closed. You smiled "Never mind, they're back." You said, you climbed off your bed and started heading for the library. Once you got there Sam walked in as well, you smiled "Hey! How was the hunt?" You questioned.
He sighed "Long, and tiring." He said, running a hand across his face.
Just then Dean walked in "Hey Y/n." He said, with a lazy wave.
You smiled "You boys want something to eat? Or are yall just gonna head to sleep?" You questioned.
Dean looked at you at the mention of food "Pie?" He asked.
You smiled "Yes, I can make some if you want." You answered.
Dean looked as if he was having an argument of the needed sleep, or the want for food. Sam sighed "I'm going to bed." He muttered, before walking off.
Dean still stood there and you chuckled "You know what, go get some sleep. I'll make everything tomorrow, and I'm pretty sure Crowley wants to talk to you and Sam. I'll let him know to come back tomorrow." You said.
Dean looked up at the sound of your voice and sighed "Fine." He muttered, childishly.
You smiled, but then it quickly faded "Have you heard from Cas." You asked.
He shook his head "No, not at all." He said, and then quickly walked off.
You sighed "I guess I'll have to come back tomorrow?"
You turned to look at Crowley "Yeah, they boys are exhausted from the hunt." You said.
He nodded "Well, I'll see you tomorrow Bumblebee. Take care." He said, and like that he was gone.
You smiled and heard a pair of footsteps entering the library, you smiled "Thought you where heading to be-" you quickly stop yourself once you turned around. Your smile instantly disappearing, there stood Castiel. "Oh." You muttered, "What do you need Castiel?" You questioned using his full name.
You watched as a flash of her went through his eyes, but it was gine as soon as it came "Are Sam and Dean awake?" He asked.
"No, they just went to bed." You answered walking over to the mini fridge, you it open and grabbed a bear popping it open.
"What are you doing?" He asked.
You smiled and turned back to him taking a swig of your beer "Drinking my problems away." You muttered, walking past him. He grabbed your arm and you turned to look at him "What do you want?" You questioned.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
"Mmhm, yup just fucking peachy." You answered yanking your arm away from him, as you started to walk away.
He sighed "Your mad at me, aren't you?" He questioned.
You scoffed and turned around looking at him "I'm not just mad at you Castiel, I'm fucking furious. Every since that demon hunt with Dean, you've been avoiding me like I don't exist. How the hell do you expect me to react? You never talk with me, or text me. The only people you talk to are Sam and Dean, so tell me. What the fuck did I do, to cause you to distance yourself from me?" You asked.
"Have you stopped loving me or something? I don't fucking understand Cas, you've been hiding something from me. And god damnit I can't figure out what, I just want the old Cas back..." You whispered your voice breaking towards the end. He stared at you shocked of your speech, he looked down disappointed in himself. He didn't say a word and you nodded, tears appearing in your eyes "Figures." You muttered before walking away and back to your room.
You slammed the door to your room and locked it, you threw the half full beer bottle against the wall. You leand back against your door and slumped down to the floor, you choked out a sob and closed your eyes. This time the tears spilling from your eyes, you opend your eyes and ran a hand through your hair. You stood and walked over grabbing your computer, you opened it up and started your search.
•~•
What awoke you the next day was pounding on the door, "Go away.." You grumbled.
"Y/n open up now, or I'm kicking the door down!" You heard Dean shout from the other side.
You groaned and climbed out of bed and unlocking the door and pulling it open "The hell do you want?" You mumbled, you didn't miss Dean's shocked expression. And you went surprised at all, you where sure your eyes were puffy and red. And your hair an absolute mess, most of the night you had spent it crying.
"What the hell happened to you?" He asked, clearly worried about your wellbeing. Dean thought of you as a little sister, and he hated to see you in pain.
You sighed "Me and Cas, are having relationship problems." You muttered, you took a deep breath "I don't think he loves me anymore." You whispered looking down.
Dean was silent for a minute, you suddenly felt him pull you into a hug "You know what, go shower and clean yourself up. And I'll make you some blueberry pancakes." He said softly.
You sniffled and nodded "Thank you Dean." You whispered, you pulled away and he had a smile on his face.
"Of course, anything for my little sister. Now go clean up." He said, kissing your forehead before he left.
After your shower you changed into sweatpants and a hoodie, you could smell the delicious smell of bacon and pancakes. You slowly made your way to the kitchen, once you entered you sat down at the table and sighed. You put your head in your hands, and got lost in your own thoughts. 'Son of a bitch, what did I do wrong? What did i do that caused him to not talk with me?' You questioned, your thoughts where interrupted by the sound of a plate being set down.
You looked up at the plate and sighed "Thanks Dean." You muttered grabbing the fork, and started eating your food.
Dean sighed "Y/n, I'm not good at this whole relationship thing. Like at all, but I do know one thing." He said, you looked up at him and raised a brow "You two need to work out your problems, I hate seeing you like this. Moping around sad." He said.
You sighed "Yeah I know, I just wanna know what he's hiding. I mean have you seen how distant he is from me, I feel like I've done something wrong." You muttered.
"Just give him some time, I'm sure he'll come around." Dean said, sitting next to you with his own plate of food. "Now, what the hell did Crowley want last night?" He asked.
You shrugged and ate a pice of bacon "No idea, he just popped up. Made me sober, we chatted and then he asked about you two idots. And then you guys came back exhausted, and he said he'd be back today." You explained.
"And I am." You heard the familiar scottish man say.
You turned around and smiled "Hey dad." You said happily.
He smiled "Hey Bumblebee, now where's your moose?" He asked.
Just then the bunker door slammed shut "I think that's him." You said.
Both Dean and Crowley left, you sighed in relief and pushed your empty plate away. You placed your head on the table and sighed, closing your eyes as a few tears escaped. You let out a shaky breath, you missed Cas more than anything. The old him, when the two of you where practically inseparable. Now, he was just gone. Doing only god knows what, and of course you being the paranoid type of girl you are.
You only thought the worst, and these horrible thoughts raked through your mind day and night. You stood from the table and walked back to your room, you locked the door and grabbed your notepad. Last night you had a argument with yourself last night, you where thinking of taking out your grace. And becoming fully human again, you'd lock your grace away. And go off somewhere on your own, hunt by yourself. You always worked better alone anyway, you wouldn't have to worry about anyone getting hurt.
And you'd know that everyone would be safe, and maybe those Angel's and demons would stop hunting you. You sighed and made up your decision, you needed to remove your grace. You sighed and grabbed your phone debating on calling Cas, you sat there for a solid 20 minutes. Instead of calling Cas you decided Crowley would be a better option, you quickly exited your room and made your way to the library. "Dad." You said upon entering the library.
He looked over at you "Yes Bumblebee?" He answered.
You sighed "I need your help." You simply stated.
Dean and a very sweaty Sam exchanged a look of confusion "And what help is it that you need?" Dean questioned.
You sighed "I need you to remove my grace." You said quietly.
It was silent for a good 10 minutes before a voice spoke "Y/n you can't do that."
You spun around only to be face to face with Cas, you stepped back a bit "Go the hell away Castiel, this is my decision. Not yours." You said, before turning back to Crowley and the boys. Sam and Dean had a look of pure worry "So, can you do it?" You questioned your adoptive father.
"Of course I bloody can, I don't know if I want to. I really don't wanna feel the Wrath of feathers, over there. He's already giving me the death stare." He said, looking at the angel that stood behind him.
"Well it's not his choice." You said.
You heard a large sigh from behind you "You need to keep that grace Y/n." He said blandly.
You spun around to glare at him "And why the hell is that? Because it's some bullshit fate?" You questioned, clearly angry. If you where in a cartoon, you where sure your face would be a tomato red. And steam would be blowing, from you're ears.
"Because you're the only one who can stop Kellisa!" He shouted.
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Chapter fourteen
Distance and problems
I apologize for the shity chapter, but I hope yall enjoyed this and whatnot.
Just hit 200 reads as well, I'm glad your all enjoying this!