The next morning, I wake up hot, unbearably hot, almost to the point of sweating. It's not until I go to kick off my cover that I realise it's not the blanket that's making me warm, it's Harry. I blink open my eyes to find that in my sleep, I've managed to entangle myself around him. I'm lying on my side, and he's on his back, his arm wrapping around me and resting on my waist. My head is on his chest and our legs are intertwined under the covers. I can't help but blush when I sit up slowly, trying not to disturb him from his sleep. He looks so peaceful and comfortable, a literal Sleeping Beauty, and I don't want to ruin that. For a brief second, a thought runs through my head as I glance at his lips, about how nice they would be to kiss, but I furrow my brow almost immediately. Where did that come from?
I slowly unentangle myself from him, trying my best not to wake him up, but also wanting to get out of there quickly to try and clear my head. My feet pad across the carpet softly as I walk into the ensuite, trying my best to stay quiet. I turn on the faucet and immediately splash water on my face, as though doing that will wash away the thoughts I've been having the past few days. As I cleanse my face, I remember how just yesterday I had thought of him when I was dancing with Ed, how even when I said I loved him last night I may have meant it more than he did. And now, this stupid thought this morning. I splash water on my face once more, rubbing a bit more harshly than I usually do, as though that might clear things up.
Surely, I don't actually ... feel ... these things for him. I mean, he's my best friend, that's all. Besides that, he's been AWOL for years, and now I spend a few weeks with him and all of a sudden, I'm in love with him? That can't be right. There must be something else at play here. It's been a while since my last relationship, maybe I'm just feeling a bit lonely, and Harry's just there, being sweet and considerate, and apologetic, and beautiful, and helpful, and lovely. I almost slap myself. This has to stop. I reiterate to myself that he is my best friend, nothing more. It would never work out, and it would only ruin everything that's just started to go right. Besides, I'm not really in a position to love anyone else, especially when I haven't been completely honest with him about everything. Subconsciously I tug at the long sleeves of my pyjama top, making sure they fall all the way to my wrists.
For a moment I look at myself in the mirror, watching the water drip down my face as I grip the sink and try to steel myself, but when I hear a rustle from the bedroom, my eyes snap to the corner of the mirror where Harry's reflection is twisting under the covers. I sigh as I watch him briefly, and then pull the face towel from where it hangs and rub my face vigorously, as though that will wipe away all of the feelings that have started to surface.
When I'm brushing my teeth, I see Harry sit up and rub his eyes. It takes him a moment to spot me but when he does, he beams at me, and I can't help but smile back, foam dripping from my lips. I spit the toothpaste out, rinse my mouth a little, and then turn around.
"Good sleep?" I say, walking back into the bedroom and jumping onto the bed.
Harry grins again, running a hand through his hair as though that'll smooth it down at all. "Best I've had in a while."
I bite my lip to stop from smiling giddily at the idea that sleeping next to me, eased Harry's night. "You got anything planned for today?"
"No." Harry frowns, as though he thought I was expecting him to have something special planned like he had every other day.
"Good." I reply and flop back down onto the bed. I'm excited to have a break, and some time to just do nothing after having work and rehearsals, as well as the added emotional toll of being around Harry, for everyday of the last week. I pull the covers back over me and a moment later, I feel the mattress jolt as Harry lies back down beside me. He looks over at me and I can't help but grin when I see the smile on his face. I curl over onto my side, so that I'm facing him, with my hands under my pillow, and he does the same.
"So, this is your big plan? Just lie in bed all day?"
"Yep. Isn't it great?"
Harry just smiles again in return. We lie in silence like that for a few moments, just staring at each other. When the eye contact becomes a bit much to bear, my gaze moves down to his arm, where I can see the black ink of his tattoos. Almost without thinking I reach out and touch them, tracing the lines with my finger.
"Do these all have a meaning?" I ask, moving to the ship and running my thumb over the sails. I hear shuffling as Harry looks down at me, but I don't look at him, instead trying to take in as much of the ink on his arms as possible. There's a lot.
"Some of them do. Some of them just look cool."
I snort at his reply and move my hand further down, poking the rose tattoo underneath the ship. "This one?"
"For your mum." He says softly.
I glance up at him quickly, a little surprised, even knowing how much she meant to him. I have to look away again, quickly, as I feel my chest tighten, and a cold shiver moves through me.
"I've always wanted to get a rose too." I mumble softly, tracing the rose tattoo on his arm, and biting my lip to try and stop myself from crying, but still seeing the blur of tears pooling at my eyes.
Roses always remind me of mum. They were her favourite flower and I remember her planting them every year, and each year on my birthday I'd wake up with a fresh bouquet on my nightstand. Harry obviously remembers what they mean, it's why he got his tattoo in the first place, the same reason I want to get mine. To always have her with me.
There's a short silence. I can feel Harry looking at me but I don't look away from the rose, feeling a lump in my throat as I think about her, and knowing that if I look up at him again, I'll cry.
"I'll go with you."
"Huh?" I say, glancing back up at him quickly, and seeing that he's sincere.
"I'll go get something with you. I mean I've already got the rose, but I'm sure that we can find something to put somewhere."
My fingers move to a small area of blank skin near his wrist. "Yeah maybe I can draw a little butt here." I say and I hear Harry laugh. "Or maybe you can just get a portrait of me on your ass cheek or something."
"Don't tempt me." Harry says with a laugh, and I look back up at him, giggling lightly. Right as I do so, Chloe yells my name from outside and then opens my door. I'm more than aware of the fact that the way that I jump at the sound and the way that my head snaps to the door makes it seem like she's caught me doing something wrong, but I can't stop myself.
"Oh, um, damn. Sorry, for interrupting." Chloe says embarrassedly, but there's almost a smile on her face. She turns quickly to go, as though she saw something she wasn't supposed to.
"Wait, what's up?" I say, sitting up. After what we talked about last night, I don't want Chloe to feel like I was shutting her out again, I want to let her know that I'm trying.
There's a slight hesitation before Chloe turns back around. "Uh, I just wanted some advice on my outfit. I've got a brunch date soon, and uh, is this okay?"
She holds her arms out and looks down at her outfit, twirling slightly to show it off. I smile as I consider it. This is the first time that Chloe's ever really been nervous enough to ask my advice on an outfit before a date, so she must actually like this girl. "It's nice. Cute but casual."
"Not too casual?" She asks uncertainly.
"No, Chloe. It's perfect." I can see Harry nodding along in my periphery, and I can't help but smile.
"Okay. Cool. Well, I'm off then." Chloe smiles nervously, nodding in finality. She turns out, but not before giving me a look that can only be her silently telling me that I'll have to explain what she saw when she walked in. I know then that we've been friends for too long, when I can understand one look with raised eyebrows as a whole sentence.
"Have fun! And make sure you tell me everything when you get back." I yell out as she walks away, and when she closes the door behind herself, I flop back down on the bed.
"Hey, speaking of outfits." Harry says, scooting back on the bed and leaning against the bed head. I twist around so that I'm looking up at him, although I have my phone in my hand trying to text Chloe and tell her that I'll talk to her later. I raise my eyebrow curiously, not knowing where he's going with this. "Uh, what are you wearing to your cousins wedding next week? Cause I'm kinda tossing up between some outfits and I thought, maybe we could, I don't know, match or something. Coordinate."
"Oh, shit." I say, letting my head fall back onto the pillow. With everything that's been happening the past few weeks, I'd completely forgotten about the wedding, and have no outfit planned. Even worse, I haven't gotten a gift or anything either. "I totally forgot. I don't have anything. It's like formal, uh, maybe I should go out and get something today." I close my eyes and groan, trying to figure out what I'm going to do, not really wanting to go through the pressure of having to go to the shops today and try and find something appropriate.
"No, wait that's good. Please let me buy something for you." Harry says, turning towards me and practically begging.
"Harry –."
"Please. I have an idea of something that you'd look beautiful in, please let me get it for you. An early birthday present."
"Harry my birthday isn't for another 6 months." He only pouts when I say this, and I sigh, conceding only because I know that he won't. "Okay, fine. But nothing extravagant, please."
"No promises." Harry smiles and turns away picking up his phone to change the subject, ignoring me when I whine, trying half-heartedly to convince him to listen to me.
"Just get me something with sleeves, it's going to be cold."
Harry just smiles, and I can't stop myself from crawling closer to him and resting my head on his chest, feeling more comfortable and carefree than I have in a while.