I didn't know why I was so nervous. Our relationship was fresh and new, but we only saw each other twice since confessing our feelings.
Were there words for anxiousness that flew off the charts? There probably were, but as I sat on a park swing, I couldn't find them. I racked my brain, dug through my memories, and nothing. Zip.
To keep calm, I stared at my shoes. In the rush to get Manny to Emergency, I'd slipped on a pair of flats over my teddy bear socks. Tiny plushies sewn into pink fabric smiled up at me as my feet swung back and forth. My hands gripped the swing's metal chains, keeping me steady. I breathed in and out. Slow and deep. And did my normal thing.
Wake me up...
I swung one leg up too high, and my shoe fell off. Quietly cursing to myself, I held on tight with one hand as I bent forward to grab it.
I can't wake up...
The wind blew, pushing my curls over my face. Some strands stuck to my lips and slipped into my mouth. I tried to free them with my tongue, spitting at the taste of gel. And as I lifted my head, the sound of a voice left me frozen like that—tongue out, eyes wide.
Luis stood next to a parked car. He leaned against its hood, a coffee in hand. He smiled and said my name, "Chari."
Every time I saw him, I felt something different. After our kiss, I became a nervous schoolgirl with a big crush. But looking at him now, watching as he crossed the parking lot, this had to be more than that. He dropped everything to come see me, made sure to grab me coffee, and be at my side. Outside of a hospital of all places.
He was an absolute beautiful human being; inside and out.
Dressed in just a regular white tee and jeans, I couldn't help but catch the light that hit the side of his face. His eyes, the same golden-brown I looked into each night, picked up on the sun's rays. I saw his aura, shimmering bright. It flickered like a candle's flame.
As got closer, every part of me stopped. My lungs. My heart.
All of this time, I can't believe I couldn't see...
Luis stopped a foot in front of me. Looking up at him, at his face and morning hair, I couldn't pull my tongue back into my mouth. Heat crept up my cheeks at uncontrollable levels.
Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me...
"Here, Chari, some coffee." Luis dropped to my level and moved the cup in my direction, waiting for me to take it from him. "Just like you ordered. Crema, azucar, a little caramel."
My shoe fell off my foot as I slowly took the cup from him. And rather than move back to stand up again, Luis reached for my shoe. Placed it back on my foot.
Save me...
Luis' smile fell slightly. It was softer. Caring. He lifted one hand to touch my cheek. "Are you okay?" he said.
I wasn't sure how to answer. I felt a lot of things. My heart exploded for him. Yet, it continued to cry from my cousin back at the hospital. And my soul ached for the help Luis promised on the phone. For me to be okay, to be strong. Because I couldn't mope around Manny; he wouldn't want me to.
Luis dropped his gaze. His hand fell to my knee. "Chari, I—"
I placed the coffee on the ground; balanced it against the pole to my right. My finger slowly traced the top of the foam lid before I looked back at Luis, at the top of his head. Just like he'd done to me, I moved my hand to his face. My thumb brushed against his cheek. When he lifted his head once again to look at me, I did the first thing that came to mind.
"Luis." His name left me in a rush, both excited and satisfied, with just a hint of need. I slid off the swing and down onto him.
As if he anticipated it, he leaned back on his leg to keep himself balanced and wrapped both of his arms around me. Tight. One hand gripped the side of my oversized tee. The other slipped up into the curls on top of my head. His lips placed a kiss on the side of my face, and I heard him take a breath air; a breath of me.
I shut my eyes.
"Thank you," I whispered against Luis' shoulder. "Thank you for coming here."
His grip around me tightened. I felt his chest expand against mine as he took in a deep breath. "Of course, Chari," he said close to my ear. "I told you I'd be here for you. I promised."
"I know." I didn't want to pull away. I was afraid if I did, all of this would disappear. As if it were all a dream and I was still sleeping next to Manny's hospital bed. My fingers gripped the folds of Luis' shirt as I held him just as tight as he held me. "I just..."
"It's okay." Luis shushed me. "Don't worry. I'm here."
|||
I wasn't sure how long we stayed like that, crouched in front of the park swing, locked in each other's arms. I never knew an embrace as warm as his; it was different. It was perfect. In the game, when we played Love or Nothing, after a while I was excited to join him in a quest and feel him close to me. And when we met up for coffee, I was shy but anxiously excited to look into his eyes.
But to have him here, really here in my time of need, was entirely different.
I felt a new set of tears rim my eyes.
And Luis saw them fall.
Pulling back slightly, Luis brushed a tear away from my cheek. "Is Manny okay?"
Another tear fell. I bit my lip.
Luis' brows knitted close together. "It's okay. Whatever it is, it's going to be okay," he said. He let himself fall back so he sat on the woodchips beneath us. I sat next to him as he pushed my curls behind my ears. "Do you want to talk about it? Or not talk at all? I don't mind either way. I just want you to be okay."
"I'm okay," I whispered and looked down at my shoe. A bear on my sock was covered in dirt, hiding its face. "The doctors need to run more tests on Manny."
"Tests." Luis leaned back on one hand, his fingers slightly linking with mine. When I looked at him, he slowly nodded. "He's still showing activity, no? The doctors are giving you guys' hope."
I nodded.
"Good." He let a soft breath leave him as he glanced over his shoulder at the hospital. "That's good. At least he has that. There were others..."
Others? I paused, looking at him. The way he bit his lip, slid his tongue along the edge, I knew thoughts went through his head. But from what? What did he mean?
I pressed my fingers up into his. "What others?"
He looked at me.
"What do you mean others? Do you mean the beta testers?"
He nodded, "Sí, ellos. The ones who never came back."
I bit my lip. These were the same players I had mentioned to Judith at my last beta-test meeting. The same she brushed aside as if nothing were wrong. But as the sunlight moved over the hospital across the street, I knew she shouldn't have ignored it. If she hadn't... Manny could be...
Luis took in a deep breath. "There was something off with Love or Nothing since the first time I logged in. It was why I didn't take it so seriously." He sighed as he finished his sentence.
I gulped.
"But when players stopped logging in, I thought I'd dig into it." He pursed his lips. "I couldn't help myself. I hate not knowing something that should be clear."
"Same," I said quietly, agreeing with him.
"So, when we weren't playing, I was going through everything Bio-Lab gave to us."
"More than just reading the terms and conditions?" I knew he said he'd read it, but not so in-depth.
He nodded. "Yes. I took those terms and compared them to the data I ripped from the server."
My eyes widened. "What?" I gasped. "You, you—"
He smiled. "I picked a thief role for a reason, Chari." After he said it, he raised his hands defensively. "Not that I steal data like that, I just know how to do it."
Honestly, I didn't care that he could hack—assuming it was what he meant. I wanted to know more about what he was able to find. And hoped, in some way, it could help my cousin. "What did you find out?"
Luis straightened. It was as if he was bracing himself for what he was going to say. It felt like forever waiting for him to talk.
"Well?" I pressed.
He relaxed his arms on his knees, shifting only his eyes to look at me. "Side effects weren't mentioned in the Terms and Conditions. At least, not the ones like this." He nodded towards the hospital. "And yet, players complained about it. Many stopped logging in when Bio-Lab refused to acknowledge and document the effects."
Like Judith did to me when I brought up Manny. I looked down at the ground. She brushed it off like it was nothing.
"There are a lot of terminated contracts sitting in Bio-Lab's mailbox. Now, I don't know if something was binding in them that prevents them from sharing those details with us—I haven't read through it all yet. But I found enough to know they are hiding something."
"To make a game that hurts people instead of helps them..." I brushed dirt away from my leg. "It just..."
"It defeats the purpose of what they are trying to do."
Emotion came over me, but it wasn't sadness. It was determination. If there was one thing I hated above all else, it was being lied to. It was one of the reasons I didn't care to interact with people; honesty with a mystery to most. People placed themselves above others without regard for their feelings. I hated it.
I have an idea.
Looking at Luis, I squeezed his hand. "I have a meeting tomorrow with Judith. Do you think... you think you can come with me? Back me up."
His eyes widened as he sat up. "Claro que si, Chari. Just what do you need me to do?"
The one thing I'd never thought I'd ask him for.
"Defend me," I said. "Bring all of the proof you have and help me tell Judith the truth. I need them to know what's happening to Manny and the other players can't be ignored. There has to be something illegal about all of this."
Nodding slowly, Luis raised my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles. "I'll be right there by your side. I'll help you. Just tell me the time."
"Noon," I said without hesitation.