That night when Nate came over to my studio, I ordered Chinese food, hoping he was still a fan.
I emptied the brown, paper bag and placed the takeout boxes on the kitchen table. I turned the Echo on, calling out to "Alexa," to, "play some country music."
When Nate arrived at my door, he handed me a mason jar filled with sunflowers.
"Seems a little redundant now that I can see your garden," he laughed as he handed me the flowers.
The last time he visited the studio, it was too dark outside to see my father's impressive sunflower garden.
"You can never have too many sunflowers," I reassured him with a smile.
I placed the bouquet in the middle of the table as Nate noticed the familiar takeout boxes. He smiled, and confirmed Chinese food was still his favorite. I opened the bottle of red wine Nate had brought the last time he was over and poured two glasses. We walked over to the couch and took a seat, this time our bodies closer together and not in separate corners.
"So...what's life been like since you moved to Nashville?" he asked, taking a sip of his wine.
"Um, well..." I said as I contemplated my answer, "It's mostly been great. I mean, I get to produce music, my way, especially with this second album. I got to meet Lily, who is just the best."
I paused for a second, taking a sip of wine to ponder the negative parts, "Mostly, everything's been positive, except for losing my mom," I said softly.
Nate nodded his head, agreeing the last part must've been the hardest.
"Have you been dating much?" he asked nonchalantly, like he'd just asked me about the weather.
I was taken aback by his question.
"No, not really," I said slightly evasive.
"I would've thought guys would be lined up at your door," he sweetly replied.
"My music comes first. I don't really have time for anything else. I'm pretty much a homebody," I said with a slight twinge of guilt in my stomach.
I glanced over at the barn beam hanging so prominently on my wall.
My relationship with Reed was complicated, to say the least. In theory, if I hadn't received the letter from my old high school, we might've secretly still been boyfriend and girlfriend. In reality, we were not together, and I wasn't going to bore Nate with the details. Besides, Reed and I had an agreement between the two us to never divulge our relationship to anyone, mainly because we were both afraid of Walt.
"Are you hungry?" I said, changing the subject before Nate asked me anything else too personal.
As Nate and I devoured everything I bought, we decided to turn dinner into a friendly competition. Who had better skills when it came to using chopsticks? I always seemed to have issues with any type of rice so I wasn't surprised when Nate declared himself the winner. He had way fewer pieces of fried rice left on his plate than I did.
After, we cleaned off the table and retreated back to the couch, not before I replenished our empty wine glasses.
I plunked down next to him, feeling like I finally had the courage to circle back to the conversation we were having before dinner.
"So...what about you? Have you dated much since you moved back home and started teaching?" I asked.
"A couple dates here and there, but nothing special," he said, instantly perking up at my line of questioning.
He sat there smiling at me which made me super self-conscious.
What?" I inquired as he continued to grin.
"Nothing."
I placed my wine glass down and stared back at him. As silence filled the air, the music playing in the background seemed to become more defined as the song changed.
"Honestly," began to play.
I quickly shouted at, "Alexa," to, "skip the song," but the song continued. I tried yelling louder, but Nate stopped me.
"Let it play," he softly said.
"Why?" I questioned, "Why make it awkward when it doesn't have to be?"
"I don't feel awkward," he declared.
I didn't understand how that could be.
"How can I hate anything that brought you back into my life?" he confessed.
I didn't know how to respond as the song infiltrated the entire studio.
We were both completely silent, then he leaned back on the couch and opened his arm out.
"Come here," he said, motioning me to lay on his shoulder.
I slowly leaned in and snuggled in as I placed my hand on his leg. He placed his other hand on top of mine, eventually leading us to hold hands. We continued to sit in silence listening to the song that was literally about us. When the chorus finally came on, repeating the same line, "Honestly, tell me the truth," Nate broke the silence.
"I still love you, Nick," he declared as we still had our hands locked together.
My heart immediately started beating faster. I could feel his breath on my hair. I slowly tilted my head up to look at him as we both slowly leaned in for a kiss. The sensual touch of his lips felt like something I'd never experienced before.
My body tingled everywhere with excitement and desire, while my nerves floated away like a distant dream. He tenderly explored my body with his lips for a couple minutes as we fell back on the couch, him on top of me. He was about to take my shirt off, but I told him to stop. He panicked, thinking he overstepped once again, but I shook my head.
"Not here," I said as I escorted him to the loft.
I playfully pushed him down on the bed as I stood in front of him, seductively taking my shirt off in front of him. As I revealed my bare breasts, I walked over and straddled his lap. He immediately flipped me over as my back landed on the bed. He passionately kissed his way down to the top of my shorts, eventually leading him to take them off. I reached over and took his t-shirt and jeans off, which ended up thrown on top of my clothes on the ground.
Nate was naked and on top of me when he abruptly stopped.
"Are you..."
"Sure?" I finished his question for him.
I simply nodded. I began to touch him everywhere, slowly caressing every inch of his body with my hand. He, in turn, made my body ache for him, over and over, as the passion overtook the both of us until the very last second.
We laid together naked with our bodies intertwined as one, which seemed familiar, like in the treehouse, but completely different at the same time. My emotions almost got the best of me, realizing what we had just done. I excused myself to go to the bathroom.
As I closed the door behind me, I sat on the top of the cold toilet seat, still naked, with tears streaming down my face.
I truly believed Nate still loved me. Relief flooded my body, and emotions, hidden so deep for so long, finally surfaced.
I felt an overwhelming desire to tell Nate I never stopped loving him.
I composed myself the best I could then walked out of the bathroom. I stood in the doorway looking at Nate, the boy and the best friend I had known for so many years, in my bed.
Everything felt right.
I walked over to the bed and sat down real close to him. As I was about to tell him I had something really important I needed to say, I realized he was looking at his phone and seemed preoccupied.
"What are you looking at?" I asked as I tried to take a peek until he moved the phone away before I could see what he was looking at.
He sat up and stared at me, wide-eyed with confusion all over his face.
"Is this true?" he asked in a serious, detached way.
He placed his phone in front of me and all I saw was a nightmare.
A tabloid article stared back at me with the headline, "NASHVILLE'S SECRET NEW "IT" COUPLE."
My heart sank as I continued to skim the article, basically stating what I already knew. Reed and I had been sneaking around and secretly dating one another. When I tried opening the, "steamy pics," the page wouldn't load.
"Nice pictures," he said as he hopped out of bed.
Again, I tried clicking on the link to see the pictures, nothing.
"What pictures?" I asked with desperation in my voice.
"So, it's true!" he said after seeing my reaction to the article.
In utter disbelief, I bowed my head as Nate angrily rushed around and started to gather his clothes and put them on.
I didn't have any time to wait for the scandalous pictures to load, because Nate plucked his phone out of my hand.
"No, it's not true!" I said, not as convincing as I hoped.
I rushed to throw my robe on that was laying on a chair in the corner of the room.
"Nicky, I know it's true by the look on your face. You got caught," he shouted, knowing the fact he called me Nicky instead of Nick would highlight how serious he was.
"Let me just explain," I pleaded.
"Was this revenge? A way to get me back at me?" he nodded like he felt like he already knew the answer to his question as he got dressed in record time.
"I know it looks bad but it's complicated," I said pointing down at his phone, referring to the gossip column, "Reed and I..." Nate interrupted before I could confess everything.
"I know, you're together. That's blatantly obvious for the whole world to see," he shouted.
"I don't know what you saw, but it's not like that," I tried explaining.
"Did you sleep with him?"
Time stopped, and he just stared at me.
"That's not fair," I replied.
"You say, "Honestly, tell me the truth?" I guess, that's just for me," he said as he walked down the loft steps and towards the front door.
I followed behind, shouting for him to just stop and listen to me as he walked out of the barn.
"Why can't you give me the benefit of the doubt and let me explain?" I asked as my heart was about to break into a thousand, tiny pieces.
As he walked towards the darkness, he stopped and turned around.
"Like you did with me?" he somberly replied as he disappeared into the night.
A few seconds later, car lights illuminated the driveway as he sped off.
I stood in the doorway alone, in my robe and half-naked, completely sobbing.