Zaria's POV.
I was facing the window, backing the door. Rachael just left after trying to get me to eat. My parents tried to see me again but I didn't want to see them. I never want to see them.
The guys rarely came because school would be resuming soon and they were really busy. Ada came with them sometimes but she just hid in the shadows and said nothing. I didn't want to speak to her either. Joel on the other hand made enough time to see me. Rachel told me he would be here soon.
I tried my best to forget what happened to me but I couldn't. It was already scarred to me. Thankfully I was given the pro sex drug to prevent me from getting any sexually transmitted disease or even get pregnant. But the most painful part of all of it is that I was stripped of my innocence. I wouldn't have imagined loosing my virginity at the age of 17.
I sighed as tears brimmed in my eyes.
I've been given a therapist who came every Monday and Friday to check up on me. I didn't mind. My mental state was pretty questionable at this time. I've been having relapses about that day, flashbacks, nightmares. Voices in my head that were telling I will loose everything and everyone.
Joel.
No, Joel will never leave me. I tried to sound confident but I was terrified that it might be true.
Yeah, keep telling yourself that when you know deep down in your mind that he will leave. The voice was back.
The opening of the door jolted me out of my thoughts. I looked over my shoulder and saw Joel making his way towards me with a nylon from Shop rite. He smiled at me but I looked away. He came to my side and sat by my side.
"Hey..." He moved closer to me and stroked my arm. I didn't return his gesture. I'm sure he noticed but chose to ignore it. He brought the nylon close to him and brought out a white paper bag.
"I got you cold stone. Your favourite flavour." He brought out the ice-cream. I sat up immediately.
Don't judge me. I can kill for cold stone.
"Chocolate?" I asked, sitting up. He chuckled, noticing my enthusiasm.
"Yup." He replied with a nod. Then brought out a packet. "I also got you chocolate." He added. I smiled but then the voice came back making me frown.
He is just feels sorry and pity for you. He will leave soon.
Joel noticed the change and placed what he brought on the bed side table.
"Hey, you okay?" He took my hand in his and gave the back of my palm gentle strokes with his thumb, looking at me intently.
"Why are you doing this?" I asked him.
"Doing what?" He looked confused.
"Checking up on me, bringing me gifts.... All of these. Why are you doing all of this?" I asked.
"Because I care about you. You of all people should know that by now." He replied with a smile.
"But it's just a matter of time before you leave. I mean, why would you want to be with me?" I looked away. I heard him scoff and I looked back at him. The smile had disappeared from his face and has been replaced with a frown.
"That's ridiculous. Why would I want to leave you?" He asked.
"Because I am already different. I'm broken. I'm not who I used to be. I'm a shadow of my former self. I'm cared you would leave because..."I sniffles and tears stung my eyes. "Because I'm no longer perfect. I have been scarred for life, Joel. I'm filthy...."
"Hey stop... Please." He grabbed both of my hand in his and made me look at him.
"Don't you ever call yourself filthy because you are not. You are beautiful and strong. What happened to you can never change the way I feel about you, Zaria. I care a great deal about you, you probably have no idea how much I do. Don't ever think I would leave you because I will never leave you, not now not ever." He assured me, looking at me square in the eye.
"Promise me, please."
"Cross my heart." He smiled and I smiled back. I waited to hear what the hoarse voice in my head had to say but my mind was silent. I guess my trust for Joel over came my insecurities.
He brought out the ice cream that was already melting, even with the air conditioning machine on. "Now would you please take your ice cream."
"You are asking as if you don't know me. Give me the thing joor." I chuckled and he laughed, feeding me spoons of chocolate ice cream. Suddenly he stopped feeding and he looked at me, all smiles
"It's really refreshing to see you smile again. I really missed the way your lips turn when you smile and when your eyes glow. I missed you so much, Omolara." He used my native name again causing me to smile a little wider and I felt my heart leap for joy.
"As long as you are around me, there is absolutely no way I can keep frowning and stay unhappy." I replied. I felt his eyes move from mine to a little bit lower, to my lips.
I saw his eyes darken a little as he reached over and used his thumb to clean the smear of ice cream off the side of my lips, his hand lingering there as he didn't take his eyes off. My mouth suddenly grew dry and my palm became sweaty. It's been a while since we kissed. I've almost forgotten how it felt like.
Snap out of it.
"So..." I looked away, breaking any form of connection and electricity that might have built up. "You are resuming next week." I added, taking a spoon of ice cream. He shook is head slightly, as if bringing himself down from the trance.
"Yeah. How long will you stay at home before you come back to school though?" He asked, taking a spoon from my ice cream. I shrugged.
"I don't know, Joel. I'm not sure I'm coming back anyway" I replied and I saw the expression on his face.
"Why not?" He asked. I sighed.
"Joel, everything has changed. Everyone definitely knows what has happened. I am not even mentally fit to go back to school, with all the judgemental looks. I cannot deal." I told him and he sighed in utter frustration before holding my hand in his.
"I'll help you get through it." He said, staring at me intently. "Lyla, Charles, everyone. We are here for that purpose." He added.
"It's hard, Joel. It's not as easy as you make it seem. I've been having relapses, nightmares. Being here is not good for me..." I trailed and he squeezed my hand in understanding.
"I know I've been doing therapy, but it would take a while, very long while before everything comes back to normal." I told him and he nodded.
"Whatever it is, I'd support you. Even though it'd be very hard to see you go." He squeezed my good hand gently and I smiled. "Will you at least think very well about it? I need you to." He began to kiss my fingers one after the other and I literally melted.
"I'll think about it. For now... You are really distracting me." I slightly stated, slightly moaned. He chuckled as he finally stopped kissing my hand and entwined it with his, looking at me lovingly. I giggled and looked away shyly.
I decided to taste the chocolate so with my other hand, I opened the heart shaped box and took out a piece. I put the edge in my mouth and wanted to take a bite but I looked up to see Joel staring at me.
"What?" I asked him.
"I've always wanted to try something." He stated, a smirk on his lips. I looked at him, my head cocked to the side.
"What is that?" I asked again. He held his index up to stop me from talking then reached over to take a bar of Mars chocolate. I watched on.
"If you wanted a bite of chocolate, all you had to do was ask." I chuckled but he shook his head and brought the chocolate to my mouth.
"Take a bite, Love. Don't chew though." He instructed. I looked at him for a moment for I took a bite and kept it at the tip of my tongue. "Now for the fun yet intimate part." Joel growled lowly, moving closer to me.
"Joel, what are you..." I couldn't finish my words as Joel wove his hand through my hear, brought my head closer and pressed his lips against mine.
Finally!!
My hands, literally having a mind of it's own dropped the remaining chocolate that was in it and moved to wrap around Joel's neck, playing with his hair and that earned a growl from him. He nibbled on my lower lip, sucking on it slightly as his tongue slid into my mouth, playing with mine. I moaned loudly, very sure the whole hospital heard me.
He release our entwined hand and brought his to rest on my lower back, mine joined the other to play with his very soft hair. I kissed him like I really missed him, biting his lips slightly which surprised him. He brought his hand to my hair and played with it just like I was playing with his. I have missed the taste of his lips so much.
I sighed, quite disappointed when he pulled away slightly, giving me a sly smile, then leaned in pecked me, intentionally pulling on my lower lip while I whined in protest.
"That was really delicious." He chewed and I immediately realized that the chocolate that was in my mouth was now gone. He was chewing it. He must have taken it into his mouth when we were kissing.
"Are you talking about my lips or the chocolate." I raised my eyebrow in a teasing manner.
"Why can't it be both?" He gave a lopsided grin and I laughed. He then leaned in and touched my forehead with his, a gesture I have grown to love.
"I've been holding my self from kissing you for weeks. I just couldn't hold on any longer. I have missed you so much. I've missed holding you in my arms." He looked at me like he was being tortured. I reached my hand out to stroke his face as I smiled at him.
"Please don't leave. Stay with us...with me..." He pleaded. I couldn't reply. I just leaned in a pecked him on the lips slowly. When I want to pull back, he pulled me back in and kept pecking me at intervals, leaving short breaks for us to catch our breath before kissing again.
"Awwwwn...." We suddenly heard and that alone made us break apart, Joel moving further away from my side. We looked up to see Aisha staring at us like a love sick puppy.
"Aisha, ba ku gaya mini ba kuna zuwa (you didn't tell me you were coming.)" I widened my eyes at her, speaking in Hausa. I do that when I'm stressed or nervous, well apart from playing with my charm bracelet. Joel looked quite confused because he didn't understand what I said
"I just wanted to surprise you." She beamed, looking from Joel to me. "I don't mean to interrupt but you guys looked so cute..." She cooed.
"Aisha!" I whispered harshly.
"I should get going." Joel announced.
"Oh I'm so sorry Joel. Hope I didn't make you uncomfortable?" Aisha asked.
"Not at all, Aisha. I was about to leaving anyway. You two could use some sister time." He said with a smile.
"You are leaving?" I asked, feeling kinda disappointed. He came close to me and held my hand.
"Yeah I have to. I will call you tonight, I promise." He replied. I nodded. Then he planted a light kiss on my forehead before he left, bidding Aisha good night. Immediately he left, Aisha's squeal filled the room as she made her way towards me and I just had to roll my eyes.
"How long were you standing there?" I asked her with a lopsided grin.
"Long enough to see him take your chocolate." She winked and I laughed, covering my eyes as I suddenly grew shy. "That was so romantic. I have never had a guy do that to me before." She squealed again.
"Aisha please...." I told her as I was about to die with embarrassment and she laughed.
"I like him. He is a good guy and he cares so much about you. Don't let him slip." She told me and I nodded.
"By the way... Does he have an elder brother. An older version of him is so perfect for me." She sighed dreamily.
"AISHA!!"