Elmo launched into song as AJ shoved a block into her hand. Urging her to continue adding layers onto the unsteady house they were building. She snapped it on a random block on top and watched as the tower swayed precariously. AJ's eyes widened but when the tower stabilized he grabbed another block to add on top Thrilled at the seeing the tower sway so close to disaster.
Sidney tore her eyes away from the teetering tower at her curtains drawn tightly across her windows. She didn't know whether she did it lock herself in or to keep reality out. Lord knows she tried like hell to right herself. To stabilize somehow but she felt the tower of her spirit tipping toward a crash ever since she saw that face again. It had haunted her for the last six years and seeing him just a few few feet away made collapse in on herself again. Back to that place of numbed silence.
AJ grabbed a blue block and she watched him analyze the tower. Contemplating whether to risk adding another piece to the top. He'd seen it sway and almost fall before so instead he reached toward the structure and added the block to the bottom. And then he added another before shoving one into her hand. He looked at her with expectant round eyes. Sid understood and smiled as she locked her green block into place at the base next to his. Adding more blocks to the bottom helped stabilize the tower. He knew that at nearly two years old. You're on to something little man. Sid would need to call in reinforcements.
Sidney scooped him up in his PJ's. With her keys and phone in hand she entered the hallway and made her way down to Chante's apartment. Her slippers slapped against the tile as she approached Chante's door and knocked. No one answered. It was already mid-morning and Chante wasn't known to stay in the house for long. She knocked again and waited. After hearing shuffling inside she saw the cover of the peephole swing to the side. She tried to smile but she couldn't and just hoped her scowled wouldn't stop Chanter from opening the door. The locks unlatched and Chante opened the door a crack.
"Hey! Is AJ okay?" Chante scanned AJ's little body curled up in Sid's arms and then took in Sidney. Along with a gaping hole under the arm, her shirt was a size too small and clung to her breasts and hips in all the wrong places. She looked like a mother in deep struggle.
"Yeah, he's fine. Can I come in?" Sid tossed a hip into the door. Chante, fearing injury to her toes backed up and Sid used the opening to slide into the apartment.
The scent of Bath & Body Works Sweet Pea fragrance wafted through the air. Mixed with another fragrance. Sid looked down the hall just in time to see Nixon emerging from the bathroom pulling a shirt down over his head. Sid hadn't seen him since her was channeling a rap God at his video shoot. He was just as confident now as he was then. His jeans riding low on his waist, exposing the band of bright white Tommy Hilfiger boxer briefs. Sid turned away to avoid following the sparse trail of hair that led below his belt. Only to turn toward Chante and see that she was clad in only a thin nightgown that barely contained her deep walnut hue of her cleavage.
"Sid, this is Nixon. This is Sid, Nix. I told you about her. We grew up together."
"Yeah, you came through my video shoot right?"
"Yeah. Great song." Sid shifted AJ and her eyes toward the corner of the living room. The only safe place where her eyes wouldn't land on someones skin.
"Thank you! So I gained a fan."
"Nah." Sid met his gaze. The song was catchy but she also found it simplistic and redundant. After growing up on lyricist like Biggie Smalls and Jay Z she didn't much care for trap music.
"Told you she was rude." Chante said sauntering over to him. Nixon just laughed.
"She ain't rude. She's honest. I like that shit." He planted a quick peck on Chante's forward and then went over to Sid and extended his hand for a dap which Sid returned.
"I'll hit you later." He told Chante before grabbing his wallet off of the coffee table and disappearing out of the door. Sid watched Chante watch him walk down the hallway for a few moments before she cleared her throat.
"Someone better be dying. You just cost me round two."
Sid cringed at the mention of death. That wound that closed over her fathers death years ago was torn open again last night. She blinked her dry blood shot eyes. She hadn't seen a wink of sleep in several hours. The beige couch was soft and wrapped around her when she sank down onto it. AJ immediately wriggled free and started exploring the apartment he knew all to well.
"Umm, Frenchie told me that Phil is still locked up. It's kind of been on my mind all night."
"Aww, your little youngin' boo." Chante went down the hall and returned with a robe wrapped around her.
"He's not my boo. But he's always been nice to me. Just sucks to think of him in there."
Chante sank into the couch next to her.
"Yeah, I heard his people, they won't bail him out."
"His brother? Kru, right?"
"Yeah, I heard he fucked up some big hit on the dudes from Southside. Lost money, drugs, and shit." Chante sighed and Sid shifted uncomfortably.
"Okay, but that's his little Brother though. Why would he want to leave him in there." Sid hoped she sounded curious and concerned.
"He's always treated Phil like more of a son than anything. Wanted him to follow in his footsteps but Phil ain't about that hood stuff. It just ain't in him."
"Then why won't someone else get him out? Frenchie. Luke. Bomb. Anyone."
Chante chuckled.
"Nobody's trying to cross Kru. He won't hesitate to kill somebody."
The skin of Sid's arms immediately raised with goosebumps and her stomach stole away to the pits of her belly. She stood up too quickly and stumbled into the coffee table causing Chante to shoot up off the couch and AJ to stop trying to turn on the TV across the room.
"Sid, what's going on. Are you okay?"
"Yeah. Long hours at the restaurant. I just need a nap." She scooped AJ up in her arms and prayed that she wouldn't drop him.
"You want me to keep the baby for a few hours?" Concern was written all over Chante's face. Sid knew she must look as unstable and crazy as she felt. Probably leaving AJ for a few hours while she gathered her thoughts was the best decision but she also knew she didn't want to leave her child. There was no way she wanted to be away from him. She needed to be around her family and AJ was it.
A phone call to her mother would have been beautiful. To be able to call her and let her know how scared she was. How out of control and unseated her world was. But she remembered the last time she tried to do that. The way her mother comforted and crushed her at the same time. The way she erected her hope and drove the bulldozer in the same breath. There was no way Sid could endure that again. So the same way she hadn't uttered a word about it in six years she wouldn't do so now. She pulled AJ closer.
"No, it's okay. He'll take a nap with me. Right, baby?" Sid stroked his head as he nodded yes.
"Okay, well, I'll come up later and check in."
Chante's words echoed off the hallway because Sid was already out of the door. Not wanting to be trapped inside of that elevator, she barreled into the stairwell and climbed the few flights to her floor. Fearing that she had to keep her body in motion or she would collapse and never move again. Back through her apartment door, she swept a bag of cookies of the kitchen counter and went into her bedroom. She put on a movie snuggled into bed with AJ. Pulling him close and holding him tight. She wanted to call someone but what would she even say? Where did the story start?
Should she go back and speak the words that only that she'd only spoke to two people. One of which forbade her from ever speaking them again and the other... she couldn't talk to him about anything. He'd done nothing but keep her further from the life her father imagined for her. For them. He'd shattered what was left of her and she had been unable to put it all back together since.
The only person she could talk to — the only one who could possible understand was locked behind layers of steel and concrete. She fished her phone out of her grubby sweatpants and looked up information on inmates. She was surprised to be able to see his mugshot. His booking info and where he was locked up. He looked like regular Phil but with a forced grimace that did a poor job of holding in his fear. Her heart broke for him. Sid jammed her finger at the button on her phone to make her screen go black.
Sid did her best to quiet her fidgety limbs as AJ drifted off to sleep beside her. But when the knock came at the door a little over an hour later like Chante promised, she popped up from the bed and rushed to the door. Sid used the moment to lie to Chante and claimed that she needed to go to the grocery store to grab a few things. But as soon as she reached the lobby she stopped. Her eyes darted all around the neighborhood beyond that heavy metal door. She found herself staking out the area again but this time she knew exactly who she was looking for.
Only five minutes passed before Sid spotted Frenchie posted up on the side of the building conducting business as usual. After a quick scan of the block, confirming that it was free of Kru she started moving toward her target. Frenchie greeted her with the same low smile that she usually did.
"Hey, beautiful. What you up to?"
"Just heading to the store."
"Aight, mama. Do your thing."
Sid walked away pretending to proceed with her imaginary store run but turned back around a snapped her fingers.
"Hey, have to talked to Phil lately?" Her attempt at a casual voice came off a little strained but Frenchie didn't know her well enough to pick up on it. She hoped.
"Yeah. I talked to him this morning."
"How's he holding up?"
"He's staying tough, you know." Frenchie's eyes swept the block like she was used to all the while holding a conversation.
"That's good, that's good. Do you think you could tell him to call me. If he can." Those same eyes swept back over Sid's body. Taking in the too tight tank she hadn't changed out of and the sweats that clung to her wide hips.
"Phil always did snatch the cute ones. I can't hate. Yeah, baby. I'll tell him to call. Imma need your number though." Frenchie had her phone ready to go and though Sid was afraid she might use it to start calling herself, she risked it. A phone number could always be changed but the churning in her stomach wouldn't stop until she spoke with Phil and found out more about Kru. About who he is and what kind of evil toiled inside of him. More about what would make him take her father away from her.
"Thanks. I really appreciate it." Sid gushed and had to physically stop herself from giving Frenchie a hug.
"Anytime. And if you need anything you call me, okay? I texted you my line." Sid nodded and muttered another thank you and took off in the direction of the grocery store. But instead of going there she stopped in at the chicken joint. A minute later, she sat at the familiar rickety wooden booth, and peered out over the neighborhood. The anger and revenge that lived in her before settled back into the seat with her.
Her phone rang. She fished it out of her pocket to see her mother's name on the screen. It continued to ring until the voicemail activated. A moment later it dinged with a voice message. A moment after that it dinged with a text message. Her eyes rolled automatically as she opened the message.
Ma: Are you still coming tonight?
Sid had already typed "no" but halted her fingers before she hit send. A gala was the last thing she wanted to attend. Her mother just wanted to parade her around and talk to people about how well she was doing even if it was terribly untrue. But the gala was held in her mothers palatial home in Westchester. Her sister would be there. She wouldn't be alone. That was scarier to her right now that whatever her mother could throw at her.
Sidney: Yes.
The bubbles appeared quickly followed by her mothers response.
Ma: Great. See you then sweetie. And wear something nice.