LIVING WITH A RAPIST
Niv's Point Of View
"He's a pointless dickhead! Ughhh!"
Nakakainis talaga sya! I thought magiging okay na ang lahat at magkakasundo na kami. Yet look what happened, heto na naman kami! Kasalanan nya naman kasi, e! God knows how I try to make things up at tratuhin sya bilang kapatid! Why on earth na naisipan nyang dilaan ang gilid ng labi ko? It's was disturbing! I felt thousands of bolts when his hot tongue ran through my skin.
"Gago talaga! Don't expect me to cook or wash clothes for you anymore!" Pabulong na sigaw ko.
This is beyond sa plano kong pagsakay sa mga trip nya! Kasi itong ginawa nya? Abuso na 'to, e! Inabuso nya ang pagmamagandang loob ko! This is something more! Tapos sya pa ang galit at mag w-walkout? Ha! Ang galing talaga! Napaka-galing!
"Humanda talaga sya sa 'kin. Gusto nya ng away? Pwes! Mag-aaway kami."
Inis na kinuskos ko ang gilid ng labi ko saka muling naghilamos. I stared at myself in the mirror. Salubong ang kilay ko at pulang-pula na ang gilid ng labi dahil kanina ko pa ito kinukuskos. Pero kahit anong gawin ko, nararamdaman ko pa rin ang mainit na dila ni Sebastian! Feeling ko may mga galamay ng pusit na humaplos sa aking balat!
"Eww! Jusko! Para talagang pusit! I hate pusit! Ay wait... pusit?"
Feeling ko para akong tinamaan ng kidlat ng may bigla ako maalala. Seb and I had a fight dahil sa 'pusit' na dinagdagan nya ng kamanyakan, at ako naman ay ayaw na ayaw na ayaw sa pusit. I hate that seafood!
What if I call him pusit? It matches his character. Makapal ang balat na madulas ang pagkatao at madilim pa ang kalooban! Kung may pusit lang na kulay berde ang tintang binubuga, malamang sya na yun! I really hate mentioning his name kaya Pusit na sya simula ngayon!
"Kung may Boobie para sa 'ki , I have Pusit for him. Humanda ka talaga sa akin Pusit ka! Puputulan kita ng—
"Fuck! You're so noisy!" biglang bumukas ang pinto ng bathroom. Shit!
"I am wor—" natigil sya at hinaplos nya ng tingin ang kabuoan ko. "...king."
Agad namang nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang maalala ko ang itsura ko ngayon. Double shit! I only have a short white towel on! My gosh! Agad kong nahawakan ng mahigpit ang towel habang sinusubukang takpan ang mga parte na dapat lang takpan gamit ang isang kamay.
"G-get out." I shooed him. Pero nanatili lang syang nakatutok sa akin. His eyes, exactly like no'ng nakaraan. They're burning!
"Pusi– " No, hindi ito ang tamang panahon para asarin sya. "I mean Seb, please get out. Can't you see that I am—
But he was fast enough to pin me at the cold tile wall before I could even finish. Hawak nya ang magkabila kong pulso sa itaas with one hand kaya hindi ko sya maitulak! Gosh! Ba't ang bilis nya?!
Agad na tumambol ang dibdib ko sa kaba at takot. He's eyes pierced to my soul and I couldn't help but feel the fire from his lustful gaze. Nakita ko na ang matang ito nung nakaraang araw. Pero ngayon? Mas malala pa! Ang bigat at ang init ng titig nya. It's too much!
Gosh, what should I do? Pag tinulak ko sya baka ano lang ang mas malalang gawin nya. And he's stronger than me! Should I talk to him slowly?
"Seb, p-please don't so anything stupid," hindi ko alam kung qualified ba ang mga sinambit ko sa 'slow talk' na sinasabi ko. Pero nanginginig na ang mga tuhod ko ngayon and I couldn't find the right words to say! "T-this is not right, I am your stepsister."
Pati boses ko ay nanginginig na din! His expression is so damn serious which I rarely see on him. Nakakapaso ang titig na pinupukol nya. But I have to show him that he can't melt me, kahit taliwas don ang katotohanan.
"Remember this, Nieva, I don't practice control and you are not an exemption... anymore."
"Seb—
Without a warning, he claimed my lips. Nang lumapat ang labi nya sa labi ko, it felt like time was frozen for seconds. His lips was soft, tender and hot. Him kissing me, is a huge mistake. Yet the feeling was so out of this world. Parang pagkain na sobrang sarap at nakakatakam pero bawal.
I was so blown away with the feeling, na nung magsimulang tumakbo ulit ang oras at bumalik sa akin ang reyalidad ay hindi agad ako nakagalaw. Seb is now kissing me aggressively, he took the chance while my mouth was slightly open. I also felt his warm hands behind my waist, pulling my lower body towards him while his lips is still intact with mine.
"Hmmnn..." a moan escaped from my mouth when I felt his hand clutching and rubbing my ass.
Kahit wala pa akong ginagawang pag-tugon, nararamdaman ko na ang unti-unting pagliliyab ng katawan ko. His hot tongue is playfully wandering inside my mouth, giving me chills and tingling sensations connecting down to my inner flesh. Inaamin kong unti-unti akong nadadala!
Oh gosh... I have to stop this! Hindi magiging maganda pag nagpatuloy pa ito!
"Seb.." I mouthed when I regained my presence of mind. But it came out as a moan lalo pa't binabaybay na ng makasalanan niyang dila ang tenga ko at pababa na ngayon sa leeg ko na sinasabayan pa ng mainit nyang hininga! Holy shit!
"Seb p-please.." I tried to loosen up his grip sa dalawa kong pulso, but his grip is firm! Malaki ang kamay nya kaya nya nasakop ang magkabila kong pulso with only one hand!
"Seb, let me go!" I struggled once more pero parang wala syang narinig.
Nang subukan ko ulit na kumawala sa pagkakahawak nya ay mas diniin nya ang mga kamay ko sa pader. It hurts! Fuck, it hurts! At nang hindi pa sya nakuntento, he pinned his body against mine kaya ngayon ay dikit na dikit na ang katawan naming dalawa! I can smell his manly scent na nahahaluan ng amoy ng sigarilyo.
Every passing second feels like a nightmare in paradise. The pleasure is real but I'm trying my best to get away from it kahit ubos na ang lakas ko sa pinagga-gawa nyang pag-haplos sa katawan ko.
"Seb, please! Get away from me!"
From the valley of my breast, he claimed my lips again to stop me from saying any more. I moved my face from left to right para iwasan sya, but he was able to capture my lips again at sinisiil ako ng halik! He sucked and nibbled my lower lip. Kahit anong tikom ko sa bibig ko, he always finds a way to sneak in!
Bigla syang huminto. Akala ko bibitiwan nya na ako, but... "This is getting in the way," his eyes are on the towel that's left to cover my nakedness.
"N-no, no, no! Seb!"
He snatched it off like a sadist. Naiyak na ko ng tuluyan, but he continued doing what he desires na para bang walang babaeng umiiyak sa harapan nya ngayon. He's out of control! This guy is a beast!
I closed my eyes, feeling my tears. I have to stop him!
"I said get the fuck away!"
Tinuhod ko sya ng sa pagitan ng mga hita. It was strong enough para mapa-atras sya while clutching his crotch and face twisting in pain.
Nagpatuloy sa pagdaloy ang luha ko at mabilis na pinulot ang towel sa sahig. Muli ko iyong tinakip sa katawan ko saka ipinukol sa kaniya ang pinakamasamang tingin na kaya ko na buong buhay ko ay hindi ko pa nagagawa.
"How could you do this to me? I feel molested, I feel betrayed, I feel disgust!" I can't believe what just happened! Ganon na ba talaga kalala ang pagnanasa nya sa 'kin? O talagang wala na syang natitirang katiting na respeto sa katawan? Gods, how could he?
Galit na pinahid ko ang mga luha ko. He sat on the floor at sumandal sa pader habang hawak pa rin ang pagkalalaki. His eyes are closed and his breathing is ragged. He looks helpless but I don't care!
"You want to screw someone that badly? Gosh, hindi ko alam na ganito ka pala kagrabe! I curse you Sebastian! I curse you to the moon and back!"
"Sinabi ko na sayo dati pa! Binalaan na kita! Kilala mo na 'ko!" at may gana pa talaga syang umakto ng ganiyan, ano?
"Of course! No'ng una pa lang alam kong mahihirapan ako kasama ka! But I chose to gave you a chance to prove something! Pero wala, e! Ikaw pa rin ang manyak na Sebastian na nakilala ko ng ilang araw! You're so messed up! No wonder patapon kang anak!"
I never thought something like this could actually happen between us. Alam kong mayakis si Seb, walang deny-deny. Pero ni isang beses hindi pa pumasok sa isip ko na magagawa nya 'to, I thought may natitira pa syang respeto sa akin, turns out wala.
I stormed out of the bathroom and closed my bedroom door shut behind me. At do'n ko ibinuhos ang lahat. I feel so agitated thinking about everything na nangyari, so agitated na hindi ako lumabas ng kwarto for meal. I locked the door and blocked it my things to make sure na hindi sya makakapasok.
This is not overrating. It's a big deal! He almost raped me for pete's sake! I want to get away! Pero saan naman ako pupunta? Hindi ko kayang mag-sumbong dahil hindi ko gustong mag-alala si mama ng husto. She's experiencing heart failures, one reason why she quit teaching at nagpapagaling na sya kaya natatakot ako.
"Niv.. you haven't had anything to eat."
I heard his voice mula sa labas ng kwarto. It's about 12 in the midnight, kala ko tulog na sya. Agad kong kinumutan ang sarili ko at sumiksik sa sulok. "Go away, rapist."
After a few seconds of silence, I heard him sigh. "Wala ka ba talagang planong lumabas d'yan?"
"Wala, kaya umalis ka na!" binato ko ng unan ang pinto. Silence filled the air once more.
"Okay," nang marinig ang mga yabag niya palayo sa pinto ay saka lang ako nakahinga ng malalim.
I'm so disappointed that things turned out this way matapos lahat ng efforts at pagtitimpi ko sa kaniya. Sinira nya lahat! Now how am I supposed to stomach his presence? How am I supposed to live here peacefully when I'm living with my stepbrother who almost raped me?
•••