A/N: As this is another triple update in order to finish the novel by the end of Camp NaNoWriMo, please read Chapters 27 and 28 before this one. Or you might be quite confused. <3
Thanks, dear readers, for all your amazing support!
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Helen didn't even wait for me to knock. Opening the door, she beckoned me inside with an excited gesture. After we'd closed the door, we both broke out into a fit of giggles worthy of a brood of chickens.
"Oh, God!" she said, trying to suppress her mirth as she flopped on her bed. "I don't know who is more smitten. You or him."
I tried to wipe the smile off my face. It cropped up again of its own free will until my cheeks hurt.
"Hopefully it's equal on both sides," I said.
"I've never seen him in such a state." Helen grinned. "What spell have you cast on him?"
"If anything, I think he cast a spell on me." I gestured between his room and ours. "I don't do this. I never wanted to play Girl Talk as a kid. Hell, I didn't even know what half of it meant."
"Oh, my gosh!" Helen laughed. "I forgot about that board game. Good times."
"This is a foreign universe to me."
"Awww, you're so cute." She sat cross legged on top of the covers. "So tell me everything. What happened?"
I sat silent on the bed with my feet tucked up underneath me, unsure how to respond. "Nothing happened per se. It's more how it felt. The energy. Like electric tension. A kind of bond."
"You're falling for him," she said, her eyes twinkling with delight.
"I don't know." My cheeks burned. "Maybe? I've never felt like this before."
Helen grinned. "I'm glad it's not just Eric."
"What did he say?"
"Jess, that guy asked me things I never thought would come out of his mouth," she said with a dreamy look. "But I'm afraid as his best friend, I'm not allowed to say."
"Awww...!"
"Nope."
"You can't lead with that and not say anything," I insisted. "That's borderline cruel!"
"Hey, I'm Switzerland!" she said in an emphatic tone, cutting the air with her hands. "Whatever you guys say to me goes no further. It's the rule of friendship."
Fair enough.
Her expression left no room for argument. Those azure eyes of hers could cut through titanium and certainly halted any attempts of mine to cajole secrets out of her. It didn't matter what playful jibe Eric had made during lunch about her inability to keep secrets.
At least there was one good thing about it. If she insisted on keeping his words secret, she'd probably offer me the same courtesy.
"This is gonna sound weird as hell," I said with a wry smile, "but there's something about his music. It's like...it touches my heart in a way I can't understand."
Helen gave an excited squeak. "Oh, my gosh! It's so romantic. Like Phantom of the Opera! Go on."
"Well, less murderous, but yes," I said with a bemused look. "I guess you could say his music connected us or something."
"Tell me more."
"Seriously, I don't even know." I gave an emphatic gesture. "I cried when he played Moonlight Sonata. Me! How does that even happen?"
"Awww!" Her stern look melted into one of pure happiness. "I told you...you're falling for him."
"I don't fall for guys."
"My boy isn't a guy," said Helen in a firm tone. "I mean, he is. But he's more than that."
"How can I fall for someone I don't even know?" I asked with genuine concern.
"Well, that's not always how romance works," said Helen with a smile. "Sometimes you just know. As I've understood it, you've had over a year to pine for one another anyway."
My cheeks burned. "Yeah..."
"Forbidden love causes a shitload of tension," she said, "if you'll pardon my French."
"No, that's cool. I like swearing." I considered her words. "You're not wrong. My grandparents are really strict. They kept us apart."
"Why didn't you meet with him in secret?" she whispered.
"If they found out, I was afraid they'd send me back."
"Back?"
"To my parents..."
Awkward silence fell over us, shifting the tenor from one of excitement to somberness. Another faux pas I'd made. Why did interacting with humans have to be so complicated?
"That doesn't matter now," I said in a decisive voice. "I'm eighteen. Even if my grandparents hate my choices, there's nothing they can do about it."
Helen nodded. "Soon you'll be in college anyway. They can't control you anymore."
"Well, they didn't exactly control me," I said, resting my chin on my knees. "They're paranoid about anything happening to me because they love me. But I gotta live my life too."
"You're not wrong there."
"I wish I understood about life," I said. "Especially dating. I have no idea what I'm doing."
"Hon, no one knows what they're doing," said Helen with a chuckle. "I can guarantee you--without giving away any secrets--that Eric is second guessing everything he's said and done tonight."
"What?" I exclaimed. "Why?"
"Because his mind works at the speed of light," she replied. "He can remember everything you've said. Everything he's said. He'll analyze it all like some giant supercomputer."
"Really?"
"Oh, yes." Helen gave a wry chuckle. "Eric seems like this stoic guy. But deep down, he's this huge softie. Way more sensitive than he lets on."
My heart twanged and glowed at the same time.
"People tease him about being a robot," she continued. "You know...how he speaks in kind of a stilted or awkward way? Or like he's ancient. But that's just Eric, you know?"
"I love his voice," I blurted before covering my mouth. Oh, my God! Jess, what's wrong with you?
"Awww..."
It's really deep...like indigo velvet.
"I read a lot too," I said. "So I get it. When I was twelve, people would tease me for using difficult words even though they were just normal for me." I shrugged. "Now I don't bother."
"Eric loves that about you," said Helen before she clamped her mouth shut with her hand. "Oh, shit! You didn't hear that from me."
My cheeks blazed like a forest fire. He loves that about me? I don't have to hide it with him?
"There's so much I lo--like about him, too."
"Like his music?" asked Helen in a suggestive voice.
My mind raced as I struggled to put amorphous feelings into words. "It was as if he was emoting through the piece. You know, speaking. Just to me." I sighed and shook my head. "Or maybe that's just wishful thinking..."
"Awww, no, I can't believe that. I saw the look in his eyes. You're on the same wavelength, aren't you?" she said, her eyes twinkling. "You get each other. There's a spark!"
"Yes, and it goes beyond the mere physical," I said, musing aloud. "Although I freely admit he's cute. But I don't know what it is...I don't know how to describe it yet."
"You guys are so cute together," she said as we dressed into our PJs. "Don't know if you noticed, but he couldn't take his eyes off you during the entire trilogy."
"Really?"
"Yeah, but it was cute, not creepy." She chuckled. "Gosh, you don't pick up on social cues very easily, do you? No offense."
I blushed and shook my head. "Helen, can I ask you a personal question?"
"Yeaaaah," she said in a suspicious tone.
"What did you say to him before the movie started?"
She turned around and blushed. "Okay, promise you won't tell?"
"If you promise not to talk about what we're discussing now..."
"Agreed," she said. "Okay, well I told him to invite you to sit next to him...on his bed...and snuggle like two little bunnies."
I buried my face in my hands. "No! You didn't!"
"I knew he wouldn't," she said with a wily smile. "But I wanted to gauge his reaction."
"You clever devil."
"I know, right?" She looked proud of herself. "Guess we know what he'll be thinking about before bed."
"Helen!"
"What?" She gave a nonchalant shrug. "He's asexual, not dead."
"Oh, Lord!"
"Oh, please! Like you've never scratched an itch."
"Nah, I don't really see the appeal," I said with a nonchalant shrug.
Helen raised a quizzical brow. "Are you for real?"
"Well, I don't know how much you want me to get into my...uh...personal life..."
"I'm an open book. Tell me anything," she said with a shrug. "You don't have to talk about it, but if you need advice, you can think of me as your personal sex-o-pedia."
That could be useful. I scoffed. Sure can't talk about this with Mom.
Or with Care, really. She's cool, but she has just as much experience as me. Which is to say: none.
"Okay, well. I tried. Once. I think. Like just to see." I cocked my head, trying to put it into words. "I was kind of interested...scientifically, I guess you could say. But then I got bored. So I stopped."
"What were you thinking about when it happened?"
"Mostly what the different parts were and what they did. Whether they would feel special, and they didn't. Apart from this one bit that almost hurt to touch. So I didn't."
"Oh, dear!" Helen rolled her eyes. "You need to think of something sexy. Or, like, you know...romantic and comfy." She looked like she had an epiphany. "Like how you felt this evening with Eric. Not necessarily him, but like the feelings you had. And try again."
I blushed. "You're not weirded out by me talking about this?"
"Pfft, no!" She rolled her eyes. "Besides, who are you going to ask? Your grandma?"
"Good point."
I wondered how often Eric had told her about how crazy my family acted.
"Of course, you still might find it boring," Helen said with an analytical expression. "If so, that's cool too. But I think it's worth another attempt."
"But if I'm asexual, what's the point?"
"Uh, it's a great stress reliever?" Helen said. "If you're randomly horny? If you're bored? If you've been reading a bit too much erotica and you're all O-M-G?"
I shouldn't be talking about this with her. Mom would kill me. But it feels so good to share with someone.
"But that's the thing," I said. "If I read a steamy part of a book, I feel a bit warm and tingly. You know--"
"Whew! Well, there you go. Perfectly functioning lady parts."
"But then it goes away, and I'm fine."
"Well, I suppose you could just let it go," she said with a wink. "But where's the fun in that?"
Where's the fun indeed?
"I suppose you make a good point," I conceded.
"Well, there you go," Helen said with a grin as she settled in under the covers. "That's your homework."
I chuckled and shook my head. "Thanks, Helen. For everything."
"It's cool," she said. "We gals need to stick together and help each other."
"Hey, can I ask you something else?"
"Yep, anything. I'm not tired anyway." She giggled. "You're cool, you know. Reminds me of the slumber parties I used to have with my friends in high school."
Well, I don't know if I'm cool per se.
"If I ask too much, just tell me." I hesitated. "I've had a pretty sheltered life, and I want to understand in case I ever do...start dating."
"Start dating?"
"Yeah?"
"Girl, you know tonight was a date, right?" she asked, leaning on her side and supporting her head against her hand. "Eric doesn't want to pressure you. So he invited all of us to join him."
"Really?" I whispered under my breath.
"Fuck yeah!" She laughed. "If you'd been a normal girl, no offense, he would have taken you to out to dinner. Gone to the movies. Just you and him. All romantic and shit."
"I wish I were normal," I muttered.
"You are normal, but your circumstances are...a bit unusual." Helen sat up. "Eric doesn't want you to leave tomorrow feeling guilty or thinking you have to lie to your family. He doesn't want you to regret him."
"I'd never regret this weekend," I said emphatically. "It's the most fun I've ever had."
"Yeah, but this way you can say you watched movies with my friends," she said in a conspiratorial whisper, "and it's totally true."
My feelings brightened at that. "Wow, that's smart..."
"That was my idea," she whispered with a wink. "I got your back, girl."
"Thanks, Helen."
"So what did you want to ask me?"
Gosh, I went off on a tangent, didn't I?
"Well...I keep feeling like I want to..." I took a deep breath. "Hold him and kiss him and stuff."
Helen stifled a squee of excitement. "That's awesome. Go on."
"Like I completely lost the plot this afternoon and almost hugged him," I said, shaking my head. "And then we did hug tonight, and it was great. I mean, I can't wait to hold him again. Me!"
"You two are just--" She exhaled a heavy breath. "Well, let's just say I'm loving the vicarious excitement I get out of watching you two crazy dorks."
I chuckled. "Do you know--? I mean, I don't want you to divulge anything..."
"But..."
"But is Eric comfortable with touch?" I asked in a wary tone.
She paused and considered her words before speaking. "Eric doesn't like touch generally. Except dancing with me. Because I'm like his best friend."
My shoulders slumped. "Oh..."
"Now hold on! Let me finish!"
"Sorry..."
Helen's eyes twinkled with mischief. "Without giving away any secrets, you're the only other person he's ever considered hugging or touching in any way. Other than me."
"I am?"
She nodded.
"But how do I know what's too far?" I asked, trying to keep the panic out of my voice.
She shrugged. "Ask him first."
"Doesn't that ruin the moment?" I asked, skeptical.
"Did he ask you before he hugged you?"
I thought back. "Yes, he did."
"Well, did it ruin the moment?"
"No..."
"There you go." She grinned. "But if you're asking for general guidance...I'd say don't be scared to ask him. Or to initiate. He doesn't want to push you too far or too fast, so he's holding back."
"So Eric wouldn't say yes just to make me happy?"
Helen gave me a pointed look. "Do you really think Eric would do that? Do you even know him?"
Not well enough, clearly...
"You should see how callously he shrugs off girls at the club," said Helen, thinning her lips into a line. "You think I'm direct?" She scoffed. "I can't hold a candle to him. He's borderline rude."
"For real?"
"Holy shit!" she exclaimed. "This one time, I'm dancing with him. This other girl saunters up to us and tries to start grinding against him without asking?"
"Ewww! That's horrible."
Helen nodded. "He pushed her back and said, Get off me! I have a girl."
My heart felt like it would leap from my chest, but I didn't dare to hope.
"Maybe he meant you," I said, praying for the opposite, "so that she'd leave him alone."
"We both know that's not true," said Helen in a disparaging tone. "I am in no way his girl. I mean, I love Eric, but not like that. At all." She shuddered. "Ew, that would be like dating... No, just no."
A faint smile brushed my lips. "So he meant me."
"Hellz yeah, he meant you, girl!" Helen laughed. "You can smirk all you like. My dude has waited over a year for you, so you have every right."
"Why me though?"
Helen gave me an intense look. "Hon, anyone can see why. You're gorgeous, smart, and you're going places in life. And there's this connection between you two. Anyone can feel it."
If she doesn't stop, I'm gonna need a fire extinguisher for my face.
"I don't make platitudes, Jess." She turned off the light. "Now try to get some sleep, or you'll wake up looking like a zombie instead of a cutie."
After I'd climbed into bed, I couldn't help but imagine what it would feel like to snuggle next to Eric. No funny business, of course. Just holding one another.
I imagined feeling his warmth as he snaked his arms around me. His fingertips as he brushed the hair from my neck and placed a soft peck of affection on my shoulder.
And the warm tingles returned.