Spring break came around, and that's when I decided I was fully invested in myself. I was motivated after remembering my junior year of high school was almost over, and there was still so much for me to figure out and accomplish.
I started out by having Kelly and Rashad help me with my driving skills, listening to the little tips and tricks they told me about what to do at the DMV. When I wasn't doing that, I was on the job hunt. I never realized it before, but having a boyfriend to spend time with took a lot out of my day, and I had expenses I wanted to look out for. After Calvin jokingly shoved his paycheck from Eddy's in my face one afternoon, I was determined to go and get one of my own.
"What's with the whole busy body attitude?" Calvin asked as he caught me coming back in the house after checking in with Nicki to see if her mom needed extra hands at the daycare.
She did. But she wasn't gonna pay me for it.
"You have a lot of free time when you're single," I replied. "Why do you think you're always on the couch on your days off?"
Calvin just threw a pillow at me, making me duck out of the way with a laugh.
"What happened with Lyrica?" I wondered.
"Just wants me to take her to prom with no strings attached."
I frowned. "What? Why? You're not ugly or anything."
"That's why I'm still confused."
"Take somebody else."
"She's already got her dress."
"Damn," I muttered. I bit my lip, trying to think of other alternatives. "Just put the moves on her. I don't know. Make her like you." I started to walk out of the room.
"I've been trying."
"Try harder!" I yelled back at him as I closed the door to my room.
🖤
I sent Tommy a warm smile as I placed my snacks on the counter, watching him ring them up. "Hey Tommy."
"Hey Nae. How you been?"
"I've been good." I replied. "Actually looking for a job right now."
"Is that right?"
"You don't happen to be looking for an extra hand around here would you?" I asked hopefully.
"No, I'm sorry, my kids have that covered. But I'd say check in with Mrs. Jean down the street."
"Okay, I will." I grabbed my bag and change. "Have a nice rest of your day."
"You too, Janae."
I made my way out of the store, stopping to open my chip bag, nearly missing someone exit behind me and walking past me. I looked up curiously only to frown seeing Nico.
"So you're looking for a job." He commented.
"Do you talk to everybody else as much as you talk to me?" I crossed my arms.
"I mean I thought we were cool." He replied with a smug expression. The both of us knew that was far from the truth. "I mean, if you're looking for a job I-"
"No." I instantly denied.
"You did some good work at the party a while back." He continued. "Made me some cool cash. And if you're down to continue on with your special abilities, you can get a percentage of the dough. I'm a great boss."
"I'm good."
"Offers always up for grabs. Once everybody on this block turns you down, you could be a great addition to the team."
"She said she's good." A voice spoke up from behind me, making me turn to see Andre.
"You would've been good too if you ain't try and be superman and get your ass shot." Nico said with a smile, lighting up a cigarette. "It's always the good ones who make dumb ass decisions." He chuckled lightly.
"Leave me alone NIco." I told him. "Our business is done."
Nico just gave me an amused look. "Fair enough." He held his hands up playfully as his cigarette hung out of his mouth. He then spun around, walking off with a laugh.
I turned to Andre. "Thank you."
"Anytime." He patted my shoulder softly.
"He shouldn't have said that about you."
"He shouldn't say a lot of things but he still says 'em."
I shook my head in disgust. I wasn't that desperate for money, and even if I was, the last place I'd wanna look for it at was in the hands of Nico.
Even the thought of him made an uncomfortable chill run down my spine. I missed the days where he was locked up and things around our hood were a bit more pleasant. And I'd be a liar if I said I didn't hope he'd slip up one day and get swept off the streets, hopefully for good.
It would honestly be doing everyone a favor.
"You tryna walk home with me or what?" I offered, looking at Dre.
"Let's do it."
The two of us started to walk together side by side. I made sure to slow my pace to match his, my eyes occasionally glancing down at his walk, taking note of his consistent improvement.
"Look at you getting those steps in." I couldn't help but hype as I watched him.
"I'll be back in action by the time you graduate, you could put money on that." He confidently boasted.
I didn't even think twice before agreeing. Almost a year after his accident and he was snapping back like a pro.
And I had the audacity to let a little heartbreak hold me back.
It was crazy how life keeps you in check sometimes.
🖤
Just when the rumors about Quincy and I came to an end, when school came back around, there was still talk. And that was due to the fact Quincy made the first move to start seeing other people. That led to everybody looking at me, wondering what my position was.
According to what someone told me, Q and his boys spent some time at the bowling alley with some girls. And that news sent me hyperventilating in the girls' bathroom, all of my efforts to go on with my life happily coming to a screeching halt.
"Nae!" Rocky yelled, bustling in the bathroom after me as I started to pace back and forth.
"It hasn't even been two months. And he's going on dates?!" My hand went to my head, trying to make sense of what I heard.
"She just said they were hanging out." She corrected.
"Like that makes any of this better. That doesn't even sound like him." I snapped.
"I told you you should've kissed my brother." Will commented.
"No one wants to kiss Shawn!" I exclaimed, getting more and more riled up by the second. "How- how could he just do that, y'know? We're in love. That shit doesn't just go away."
"Nae, calm down for a second." Kaylen suggested.
"He didn't even try and get me back. Like he did nothing." I continued on. "And now people are looking at me, and judging me 'cause he's already onto the next thing and I- I just don't get it." Tears rolled down my cheek. "He's acting like he doesn't care about me." I took a seat on the ground, letting myself go.
The girls didn't even hesitate to sit around me.
"Why is this so hard?" I mumbled, looking up to the ceiling.
"Was the sex good?" Will asked. "I know that's why I've been stuck on Leon."
A laugh escaping my lips. "It's not just about the sex. You don't even like that word."
"So was he a good fuck or not?"
"Will!" I wiped my cheeks as I tried to scold her.
"Okay, alright." She smiled.
"It's just that you spend your time and- thank you." I accepted the wad of toilet paper Nicki offered me. "Feelings just don't go away when you want them to. I thought we were gonna last, y'know?" I dabbed my eyes.
"Well, sweetie, y'all didn't. And if he can realize that, so can you." Kay squeezed my shoulder. "This is the last time I'm letting you cry over this kid."
I sniffled, wiping my cheeks dry. "It was just a couple tears."
"Whatever you say." She smiled. "Just get it together."
"Seriously. You're making me never wanna invest my time into a guy." Rocky spoke honestly.
"They fuck with your head." Nicki stated.
"Just think about it like this. Between the five of us we all have the gems we need to turn the tables on these fools." Will replied. "They can't play you if you already know the game."
"Is that how you got Leon?" I inquired with a smile.
"For fucking sure. Mama ain't raise no bitch. I gets mine." She fist bumped Rocky, making all of us bust out into laughter.
It was then that I realized why it felt so hard for me to get over Quincy. I still held a spark of hope in my heart that he would come back to me. Even though I decided not to chase, it never meant I didn't hope that he would chase after me.
While sitting in that bathroom, coming to terms with the fact that my ex was moving on, it hit me that I had to let that hope go.
I had to let it all go.
I had to let him go.