"Hi."
"You, again? Look, if you're trying to blackmail me into giving you money, I'm broke."
"I've loads of money. I'm stinking rich."
"What do you want, then?"
"A friend, I guess. Is that too much to ask for?"
"Making friends shouldn't be a problem if you shit gold bricks. People would do anything to even breathe around you."
"Exactly. They just want the attention and... money. I don't-"
"What makes you think I'm any different?"
"We both know you're different."
"You're not wrong, I sometimes eat with feet."
"What the fuck."
"Yes, now scram. I'm sc-"
"My interest is piqued, tell me more."
"I was joking. That'd be extremely hard to accomplish."
"Yeah, that's quite messed up."
"You're messed up."
"...We all are."
"Exactly, you need help. Desperately."
"Yes, you are my help."
"Is that supposed to sound deranged or romantic?"
"The latter."
"I think you've got the wrong number. And it's 'bout time I say this."
"There's no wrong or right, just you."
"Are you lost, babygirl?"
"I'd like to say something but you wouldn't appreciate it. Listen, I picked a random number... more like borrowed it, and it just so happened to be yours."
"Why?"
"..."
"Hello? Did you die?"
"You've morbid conversation skills."
"Why, thank you."
"You're also a sore listener. I did just tell you."
"I'm not interested."
"I don't remember giving you a choice."
"This is madness. Who the fuck do you think you are?"
"Finally. I'm-"
"No, I don't care unless you're Cole Sprouse. Quit bugging me."
"I'm bored. And lonely, okay? I'm pretty sure everyone is."
"Call 911, they're very entertaining."
"You... are my 911."
"Nope, just a low-living fridge hogger."
"I- hey, listen, I gotta go right now, I'll call you tomorrow, yeah? Stay safe."
"Wait hol' up stronzo, call me later? Is this go-"