A one-shot based on a request from Tumblr!
Jungkook and Reader
Genre: Ex-boyfriend Jungkook, fluff and juuuuust a wee bit of angst
Word count: 9,624 words
~•~•~•~
You scroll through your emails, feeling excited. It isn't the boring missives that uplift your mood, but the anticipation of something new. After years of hard work, starting as a department head all the way up to being a managing director of family-owned hotel chains, you've proven yourself a capable leader. More importantly, you have amassed a sum of funds in addition to your parents' approval and support to start a business of your own. Numerous discussion and planning have all led to this moment.
"Your two o'clock appointment is here, Miss."
"Show him in, Yun Hee," you tell your assistant.
The phone receiver barely hits its cradle when a few polite knocks sound at your door. "Come in," you beckon as you hurriedly finish replying to an email. "Excuse me for a minute while I finish this."
"No problem," a warm, familiar voice answers you.
Your fingers freeze a few millimeters above the keyboard, but your head swivels towards the owner of the voice. For a fraction of a second, you're afraid that after so long, you've started to hear his voice out of nowhere again, even though he is not in your life anymore. However, this time your ears are not deceiving you, nor are you imagining things.
"Jungkook?"
~•~•~•~
"Fuck Jeon Jungkook!"
"Yes!"
"I'll drink to that!"
The cheers of your girlfriends spurred you on, glasses clinking before each of you downed your shots. Closing your eyes, you savoured the burn of the alcohol as it made its way down your throat. Perhaps getting completely drunk was what you needed after all.
"Hey, y/n," Dara nudged hard at your arm with her elbow, never one for being subtle. "That guy over at the bar is totally checking you out."
You slowly set your glass on the table before shifting your eyes ever so cautiously, trying to make up for Dara's obvious pointing. Sure enough, a guy in a button down shirt and slacks was unabashedly staring at you as he perched on a stool by the counter. Upon making eye contact, he raised his glass, mouth stretched into a boxy smile that you would normally find charming, but you were not in the mood tonight. In fact, you weren't sure if you would ever be in the mood again.
"He's cute, but I'm not really feeling up to it tonight," you relayed the thought to your friends. Chae Rin groaned at your words.
"Come on, y/n! What's the point of bringing you out if you don't let yourself have some fun?"
"Who says I can't have fun with you guys?" You countered.
"She's right," Bom cut in before Chae Rin could think of a comeback. "We don't have to turn to guys to have fun."
"Boys suck anyway," Min Ji weighed in, her words already slurred by the alcohol. You shook your head, smiling, knowing that she would be the first one to leave in the arms of another man that night.
Chae Rin scowled, but she knew better than to argue. Bom had a point after all - drunk and moody you was definitely a significant improvement to the broken and weeping you, which was the result of their attempts at cheering you up by bringing ice cream and chocolate to have a girls' night in your room.
You smiled at them, grateful that your girlfriends had decided to denounce men for your sake, even if it was just for that night. However, you couldn't bring yourself to hate Jungkook. Quite the opposite actually. You still loved him, even though after three years of being together, he had decided to up and leave you without a word.
~•~•~•~
So what is he doing here now?
"Why are you here?" You voice confusion aloud, never being one to beat around the bush. The email is left forgotten as you turn in your chair to fully face him. He is not invited to sit, even though this forces you to tilt your head up to look him in the eyes. It isn't like you can look down at him even if you do rise to your feet since he is taller than you are anyway. So you opt to remain in your chair, which serves as a throne of sorts with him as your audience.
His smile is small, polite, and perhaps you're imagining things, but it seems cautious. "I'm supposed to meet you at two?"
Realisation hits you like a ton of bricks and you want to smack your own forehead. Why did you choose this company to do the interior design work for your first coffee shop? Then you remember that Taehyung recommended the company to you, insisting that although it's fairly new, it has been garnering a lot of attention lately for producing great, trendy work. As someone who is just starting her own business, you were eager for the chance to support a fellow budding entrepreneur, and made the arrangements for a meeting at once. Besides, with such a glowing review from a renowned artist like Taehyung, what could possibly go wrong?
Plenty, it turns out. Well, to be fair, there's only one problem at the moment, and it's standing right in front of you. Just the one problem makes it feel as if the weight of the world has fallen onto your aching shoulders. You can hardly blame Taehyung, who doesn't know Jungkook and you want to put the blame on yourself for only perusing through the products of their work before calling for the meeting but you can't do that either. You know that in trying to be as objective as possible, you don't tend to pay any heed to who you're working with, preferring to let their work do the talking. You're not about to check every personnel of every company you work with on the off chance you'll bump into Jungkook. So you chalk it up to a cruel twist of fate that forces you into his path again.
"I see," you nod, trying not to show how surprised you are at his sudden reappearance in your life. "Well, why don't you sit down and we can talk about the project."
To your relief, it's easier than you would've thought possible to explain the what you want and need from the project. You can't help the excitement that bubbles inside as you talk about your first business venture, and you miss the smile that tugs on the corners of Jungkook's lips as he watches you.
However, as you go through the floor plan of the shop, you find it more challenging to remain professional when he talks. Despite yourself, you find your eyes straying all over him, making it hard to absorb the words coming out of his mouth. How could he be so different, yet remain very much the same? It's impossible to miss the way his muscles flex under his shirt as his arms shift to point at the plan. The disappearance of the slight chubbiness that he had before gives his face the look of a more mature man. However, for all that he has changed, his brown eyes still emanate the warmth that used to soothe you, melodic voice which tugs at your heartstrings and his smile that allows a peek of his two front teeth is just as adorable as it always was. You're in the middle of admiring his hair that's longer now, but still looks soft, wondering if it will still feel the same if you run your fingers through it when his voice calling your name jolts you back to the meeting at hand.
"Yes?" You ask, as if you're not mentally raking his hair with your fingers just a moment before.
If he notices that anything is amiss, Jungkook doesn't show it. "Do you have a concept in mind for the coffee shop?"
"A traveling concept," you say immediately. "A place where travelers can share their stories. A space that will inspire people to travel, explore the world."
The grin that he flashes at you upon hearing your answer is blinding, yet it makes you want to curl up in embarrassment as it informs you that very much like you, Jungkook has not forgotten the memories he shares with you. "I love the idea."
"Yeah," you mutter sullenly, forgetting to keep up your act of indifference, and he must have noticed, because his face changes to a more sober mien.
"I'm sorry," he says softly.
Those are the words that you were desperate to hear years ago, and even though they're late in coming, you think that they should've mollified you somewhat. On the contrary, they only make you irritated and defensive. Does he think he can just brush away all the hurt he's caused you with a mere apology?
"What for?"
The sight of Jungkook shifting uncomfortably in his seat gives you some petty satisfaction. "For... a few years ago. For leaving."
You wait for him to continue but he lowers his eyes, avoiding your gaze and it's clear that no more words are forthcoming, so you say breezily, "That was years ago. I've moved on, and since you are the one who left, I'm sure you've moved on too. Let's just be professional and do our jobs as we normally would." You're berating yourself inside, wanting to demand an explanation from him but as you utter those words you realise that this is what you truly desire. For you to move on. To be able to work with your ex-boyfriend who meant everything to you until he disappeared without a word. You have your own life now. He has his. It's just coincidence that put your separate worlds in the same orbit again, but it's only temporary. After the project is done, both of you will go on your own ways again, one nucleus in the past that is now two unrelated entities, hopefully never crossing paths again.
Before Jungkook can say anything in reply to your cold statement, your phone rings. Shooting him an apologetic look, you snatch the phone from its cradle. "Mr. Min is here," your secretary informs.
Is it that time already? "I'm just wrapping this up. Tell him I'll be ready in a few minutes." She murmurs her assent and you hang up, glad for Yoongi's timely arrival. "Jungkook..."
"I'll get started on this and come by again soon," he cuts you off, gathering his things and standing up. You search your mind for something to say but you come up blank, so you simply nod and watch him walk out of your office.
You find yourself still deep in your thoughts as you relax in the passenger seat beside Yoongi later, a fact that doesn't escape the older man's notice. "Is everything okay?" He asks, pulling you out of your reverie.
"Just thinking about my project," you reassure him. At least that much is partly true, although most of your thoughts is focused on the senior interior designer in charge, not the project itself. "Why?"
"I've been asking you where we should go for dinner but I don't think you heard. You're definitely working hard," Yoongi gives you praise that is, in your opinion, undeserved. "How about we go get some ice-cream?"
You turn in your seat to cock your head at him in amusement. His eyes are on the road as he drives but there is no mistaking the mischievous gleam in them. "What about dinner?"
"Let's get ice-cream, and then go for dinner."
"And have ice-cream again for dessert?" You giggle.
"Deal." He accepts, taking his right hand off the steering wheel to shake yours to seal the deal. You laugh and grasp it. Yoongi never fails to lift your mood and you resolve to put all thoughts of Jungkook out of your head for the night.
~•~•~•~
However, it becomes increasingly difficult to stop yourself from thinking about Jungkook in the following weeks, especially as he visits your office at least once a week to discuss the progress of the design. Memories of your relationship with him, both bitter and sweet, start to visit you often even when he isn't anywhere in the vicinity. No matter the amount of scolding you give yourself, your traitorous mind bombards you with the reminders of the love he used to shower over you, your body is drawn to him, searching for the warmth of his arms around you by instinct, your heart aching with the unresolved feelings you harbour towards him.
You swallow these desires and push them down as you study the flow of the workers from the kitchen to the cashier counter on the plan, but his question brings your attention back to his sinfully handsome face.
"So, did you manage to travel?"
Feeling your skin prickle with annoyance at the question, you feign ignorance, "Travel where?"
"Paris, Venice, Beijing... All the places we talked about," he answers, refusing to let your stand-offish tone deter him.
~•~•~•~
"What do you want to do after we graduate?" You asked in a curious tone, even though you had talked about this many times before. Jungkook laughed and pulled you closer, your back against his chest, his arms circled around your waist and he rested his chin on the top of your head.
"I want to travel and see the world," he said dreamily as his eyes roamed the smooth, calm surface of the lake spread out before you.
"Where do you want to go?"
"Everywhere. I want to experience everything. Will you come with me?"
It was not the first time he had asked you that question, but you still felt excited to hear his shy query. "Of course I will," you confirmed. "I want to walk on the Great Wall of China."
His snickers following your statement made you frown. "Baby, you can't survive one hike without complaining about how tiring it is. How can you make the trek along the Great Wall?"
"I didn't mean the whole way! I want to experience walking just a part of it." You struggled on the blanket you sat on, wanting to get away from your annoying boyfriend, but his grip around you tightened, not allowing you to escape his clutches even as he chuckled some more.
"All right, I get it, don't be mad. I'll make sure to bring lots of water and sunscreen so you don't shrivel up from the sun."
His words placated you and you settled back into his embrace. "You'll come with me?"
Your question made him scoff in mock anger, as if he couldn't believe that you could even ask such a ridiculous question. "Of course I will. I thought we'd agreed that you will be my travel buddy and conquer the world together. You're not getting rid of me that easy."
Humming in contentment, you asked him to describe his travel plans again.
"If we go to Paris, there's the Louvre Museum that we have to see. I wonder what the Mona Lisa looks like when she's right in front of our eyes. Do you think we'll really see her smiling from every angle? And don't you dare stop me from rowing a gondola when we go to Venice. Baby, I promise that it will be just as romantic with me steering it from behind you..."
~•~•~•~
"No, I never did," you answer truthfully, then follow with a white lie. "Been too busy with work. What about you?"
"The same, work is consuming my life," Jungkook jokes, but you wonder if underneath the jest he is actually serious. "I could take some time off, I suppose, but I don't really fancy going alone after I planned all my trips with you."
The air grows thick with tension immediately following his direct reference to your past relationship. You feel your jaws tighten, mind racing to think of a response as he looks at you hopefully. Thankfully you are saved by three hurried knocks on your door right before Min Ji burst into the room without waiting for your answer.
"Y/n! Tell Yoongi that you're dumping his cute ass for tonight because you're having dinner with us," she declares but before she can continue, she registers the other presence in the room - or rather, the identity of the person in the room with you. Her eyes widen with shock. "Jeon Jungkook?"
"In the flesh," he gives her a hesitant grin. "Hey, Min Ji."
"What - How come - You -" she sputters and you fervently hope that you were not this obviously surprised the first time he showed up at your office.
"We're working together for my coffee shop," you explain for him. "He's a senior interior designer."
"Oh," she acknowledges as she leans forward to give Jungkook a quick, awkward hug in greeting, mouth still open. "And you -"
"We're good," you quickly stop her before she can finish her sentence. Min Ji is a loose cannon even when she's sober, and there is absolutely no need for Jungkook to know what a mess you became after he left you. "We've been working together for almost a month now and everything's going great. You were saying that I'm having dinner with you?"
"Right," she snaps back to attention with the reminder of her impending news. "To be more precise, you guys are treating me to dinner."
You're sure that the look of amusement on Jungkook's face is mirrored upon yours. "Really now. How come?"
"I just got promoted!" She squeals, and you rush over to pull her into a hug and jump around in excitement. Jungkook's "Congratulations," is a little awkward from the side as he keeps a distance from your elated dance circle.
"Thanks," Min Ji acknowledges his wishes, panting slightly as the two of you stop to catch your breaths. "You should join us - I bet everyone will be shocked to see you!"
While you highly doubt that this is a good idea, there is no way of saying so without giving the impression that you are not okay with Jungkook's presence. You're momentarily relieved by the uncertainty that paints his face, knowing that he doesn't think much of the suggestion either, but at Min Ji's "Come on, Jeon! You're not going to chicken out and leave again, are you?" He is forced to agree to joining the dinner party.
So you later find yourself seated awkwardly between Jungkook and Min Ji at one of the finer restaurants owned by Yoongi's family, trying to focus on the menu you're holding in your hands as the rest of the table gawks at Jungkook. You expect that after getting over their initial astonishment at his presence, the topic will naturally shift away from him, but you're quickly proven wrong. It seems as if all your college friends can only talk about Jungkook and your regrettable past relationship with him. Casting a desperate glance at Min Ji, you attempt to make her change the subject to her recent promotion, but she's too busy going through glasses of wine to care.
"What brings you back from the dead, Jungkook?" Chae Rin asks, not bothering to hide her hostility.
"Yeah, where did you disappear to after graduation?" Jimin chimes in, not noticing Chae Rin's less than friendly tone. "Don't you know how worried we were about you? Y/n cried her eyes out for weeks over - ooof!" He is interrupted mid-sentence by what you suspect to be a cleverly-aimed kick under the table by Chae Rin, who is sitting beside him.
Thankfully, the waiter chooses that moment to arrive and take your orders. You can feel Jungkook's eyes boring into you from the side as you place your order but you resolutely keep your face turned away from his.
"I know," he says softly but doesn't state clearly which question that came out of Jimin's mouth that he is answering to. "It was really selfish of me to leave without telling anyone, but I did have a reason. Which is personal," he answers before Jimin could even open his mouth fully to ask. "I can't tell you guys, but I do want to say that -" and without warning, he clasps your hand in his under the table, "I'm really sorry."
The sudden contact makes you jump in your chair, but luckily for you, no one notices with the exception of Jungkook, who doesn't show any reaction to it other than squeezing your hand. It's the first real physical contact you've had with him since he came back, and even though you have been a lot more intimate than this with him in the past, his touch sends surges of electricity throughout your whole body. You feel incapacitated and breathless at first, unable to deal with the amazement at the unexpected gesture and the strong reaction your body has towards it, but as seconds flow by, the warmth radiating from his hand seems to reach and thaw at the frozen recesses of your body. Braving yourself, you finally turn your head to find him already looking at you, and you smile at him - probably the most genuine smile that has carved your lips since the day he walked into your life again.
For a moment, you dare to think that perhaps all is right with the world. Even though you are still struggling to swim in a whirlpool of confused feelings that are only intensified by your hand clasped tightly in his, for some reason you feel at ease, as if this is right somehow. You don't know why but you only wish for this small fraction in time to remain still, and it does until Jin, who is eyeing the waiters hungrily, said, "Well, it's in the past, Jungkook. Don't worry about it. We're all adults now, and there's no sense in keeping grudges. Y/n has moved on too, obviously, with her upcoming wedding and all."
Jin may have said it without any malicious intent whatsoever, but the effect of his words is jarring. Jungkook's hand drops yours as if your limb has caught fire as he stutters, "W-wed-wedding?"
"Oh, she didn't tell you?" Chae Rin answers him, the vindictive glint in her eyes flashing at his shock. "She's engaged to the owner of this place, actually. Yoongi's family owns many high-end restaurants, and their family has been working with hers for years. When is the wedding again, y/n?"
You're aware that Chae Rin is only trying to defend you as a friend, but you find it extremely difficult to be grateful for her efforts as you squirm under Jungkook's stare, as well as every pair of eyes at the table, with the exception of Jin, who is accepting his steak from the waiter eagerly. "We don't know yet. I've been too busy to really talk about it. Maybe after I get this project settled."
"Of course, Yoongi is a great guy. I'm sure he's waiting patiently for you," Chae Rin pointedly jabs at Jungkook. "I mean it's not like he would suddenly up and lea-"
"Chae Rin, did they accidentally switch my food with yours?" Dara interrupts Chae Rin's cruel remarks. Distracted, Chae Rin stops to compare her food with Dara's.
"No, you know I don't eat pasta."
"Hmm, curious," Dara tilts her head to one side in pretend wonderment. "I could have sworn that I ordered the steak. Jin's looks so delicious."
"I'm not sharing!" Jin forms a protective circle of arms around his plate, causing laughter to burst around the table and just like that, the spell is broken. Dinner proceeds with raucous giggling and snickering as everyone enjoys their food and casual chatter, and no one notices the remaining tension between you and Jungkook as you sit quietly throughout the meal.
The little get-together ends with everyone having had their fill of food, or in Min Ji's case, alcohol. She can barely stand, and Jimin states that it's lucky that she doesn't have to work tomorrow. You volunteer to accompany her home in a taxi and everyone else seems glad to escape the task. Even you are starting to second guess your decision as you wait outside the restaurant for the taxi to come, with arms beginning to hurt from supporting her.
"Just how much did you drink, Min Ji?" You ask in frustration even though you know she is in no condition to answer. She barely mumbles something incoherent before losing consciousness altogether, nearly knocking you both over from her dead weight if not for someone catching the two of you from behind.
"Thank you," you sigh in gratitude as strong hands right you up to a proper standing position again, but they do not let go even after you have regained your balance. Swiveling your head to look at your saviour, you are greeted by Jungkook's grim face.
"I'll go with you." You know better than to argue with him when he uses that tone. It is one that he rarely uses, but you distinctly remember from when you were a couple that when his voice lowers to this dangerous volume, it's not wise to attempt to change his mind.
You wish you can, however. Even with Min Ji slumping in her sleep between the two of you, the taxi ride is thick with unspoken tension. It gets even worse after you have dropped her off into her apartment with his help, and the vehicle speeds off towards your home.
"So, you're engaged, huh?" Jungkook decides to break the silence by addressing the elephant in the room. "I didn't see any ring."
Resigned to discuss the last subject you want to touch with him, you hold up your hands, showing him the empty fingers. Frankly, you are pleasantly surprised to find out that he has taken note of the lack of a ring on you. Perhaps you are not the only one plagued by the feelings springing up from your past. "You know I don't like wearing rings. Yoongi gave me one but I keep it at home. I'll probably wear our wedding band as a necklace pendant," you elaborate, too tired to pretend that he doesn't know about your preference for not wearing rings.
"I thought you said you'd wear it when you marry someone you love," he comments offhandedly, making you scowl at the window. Is he poking fun at you by pointing out that while you have said that you would wear a ring for him back then, you have opted not to for Yoongi?
He is saved from your furious tirade by the slight screeching of tires against the asphalt as the car pulls into a stop, signalling your arrival. "Goodnight, Jungkook," you say icily, marching to your door without waiting for his reply so you can rush into your room and cry your convoluted thoughts and emotions into your pillow.
~•~•~•~
As you pore over the completed design Jungkook has brought with him the next time you meet, you promise to yourself that you will do everything in your power to remain calm and focused at the task at hand. Jungkook, however, has other ideas.
"So is Yoongi that skinny guy who usually waits for you in the evenings?"
You cannot believe that he has the nerve to bring this up again and take a deep breath before you answer. "Yes," you snap, unable to keep your voice from sounding unruffled. "What's it to you?" You challenge.
"Nothing," he shrugs. "Just surprised that you never mentioned him all these weeks."
At those words, you slam your palm on the surface of the table and stand up in anger. "And why do you think after all these years, you deserve any insight to my personal life, Jungkook? Do you know the hell you left me in when you disappeared? No, you don't. Do you have any idea how difficult it was for me to move on? No, you don't. Do you know how much I hated myself - and I still do sometimes - for not being good enough for you? No, you don't. Can you imagine how long I spent wondering what I have done wrong to make you leave? No, you don't." Your voice cracks on the last sentence, and you quickly walk over to the window overlooking the city skyline in an effort to hide your tears from him. "You have no clue how much, how long I've suffered because of you, Jungkook. So don't try to pretend to care about me now."
"I'm sorry," he says quietly from over the table where he is sitting.
"Is that all you can say, that you're sorry?" You scoff in mock derision. "I had to pick up the broken pieces of myself and try to go on with life without you. Have you any idea how difficult that was when all my plans for the future revolved around you? I'm not under the delusion that you love me now - or ever, when I think about it - but you can at least be kinder to me and give me an explanation rather than empty apologies."
You don't expect an explanation to magically form from his mouth at your outburst but his silence following it is unnerving. So you wipe the tears from your eyes roughly and turn to face him, only to squeal in surprise to find that he has crossed the room and is now standing so close to you that you take a step back involuntarily.
"You think that I didn't love you?" He snarls dangerously, and you gulp in irrational fear that you attribute to his tone and close proximity. "You have no idea what I went through then. You don't know how difficult it was for me to leave you. You can't even imagine why I did it, so don't you dare say that I didn't love you. Because I do. I love you too much."
The use of present tense in his confession throws you for a loop, but years of suppressed rage prevails. "Why don't you enlighten me then? Tell me why you destroyed my life without so much as a goodbye."
"I wasn't intending to destroy your life, I was trying to save it," he insists, then runs his fingers through his dark hair. "You know what? Why don't you ask your parents, y/n."
"What?" You furrow your brows in total bewilderment. "What do my parents have to do with you leaving the woman you supposedly love?"
"Everything," he counters through gritted teeth, the amber in his eyes glowing in fury at your distrust. "And don't ever say that again. I love you. Make no mistake about that."
And with that, Jungkook closes the distance between you and cups your face to pull you upwards roughly, until you're on your tiptoes to meet his lips in a kiss.
~•~•~•~
"Jungkook, what are you doing?" You giggled as Jungkook planted butterfly kisses down the column of your throat. The question may have sounded chiding, but your hands on his head keeping him close to you said otherwise.
"I can't help it. You're so beautiful," he said but he stopped to lift you up into the air, his biceps straining with the effort to raise you as high as he could. It was with more giggles and laughter that he lowered you, letting you kiss his upturned face from above as you wrapped your legs around his waist, both your arms and his circled each other in a tangle of limbs so he could carry you into his bedroom.
The journey, although short, was not easy for Jungkook when he was immersed in your kisses and was hardly able to see where he was going in the semi-darkness. He let out a small grunt when he bumped against the chair where the two of you had draped your graduation robes earlier, but thankfully that was the only injury he suffered before he dropped both of you onto his bed, guffawing as you bounced on the springy mattress. As he slipped his fingers underneath the hem of your skirt, he brought his lips to the shell of your ear to whisper, "I love you."
You sighed happily and muttered, "I love you too," as you lifted your arms so he could tug your dress over your head and toss it onto the floor. The next word was a pleading whisper, "Jungkook," as he attacked your neck again, his hands roaming hungrily all over your body, leaving a trail of fire from your shoulder, to your covered breasts, over your stomach, past the flare of your hips down your legs, and his lips followed soon after, worshiping your form with feather kisses and greedy licks.
His hand slipped behind to the small of your back, the simple gesture making you moan as he lifted your body up to press against his. His other hand took advantage of your arched back to deftly work his fingers to unclasp your bra and soon your breasts were bare for him. The second they were freed from the confines of your bra, his lips immediately latched on to them, sucking hard on the soft flesh, leaving bruises along his wake. As his mouth worked you into a frenzy by suckling on your hardened nipple and his left hand teasing the other, his other set to tug your panties down your legs. It was a bit of a struggle as he refused to tear himself away from your bosom but with your help he managed to pull it off, joining the rest of your clothes on the floor.
It was only then that he detached his lips from your skin to take in the sight of you. "So beautiful," he said again, but so softly you wondered if you were meant to hear it or if he was talking to himself. Even though he had shown his appreciation for your form countless times before, his ravenous eyes still made your cheeks flush, so you pushed him off of you, forcing him to stand as you sat on the edge of the bed.
"You're not being very fair, you know," you teased him and he chuckled, allowing you to unbutton his shirt and slacks, then proceeded to throw the offending clothes off of him. From your position, the bulge in his boxers was staring you right in the face and you couldn't resist cupping it, relishing his moan at the contact. You lifted your chin up to look at him already staring at you with a predatory look in his eyes. The eye contact remained unbroken as you carefully dragged the final piece of clothing down to his ankles so he could kick it off.
His arousal was apparent from his hardened erection, with precum already leaking out of the angry red tip. Keeping your eyes trained against his, your tongue darted out to flick the liquid into your mouth. The hiss that escaped his lips made you grin before you dipped your head down to take him past your lips into the recesses of your mouth. Slowly you worked your way down his length, moving up and down his cock, taking more of it every time you moved downwards until you have taken every inch of him. You could tell that he was refraining from fucking your mouth, knowing that you were fighting your gag reflex in order to swallow him whole.
As a reward for his patience, you started to bob your head on his cock, taking all of him without using your hands, hollowing your cheeks so he could enjoy the suction that your mouth provided. He was clearly enjoying it if his moans were any indication. Your mouth and throat started to hurt but you pushed through, wanting to bring him to orgasm but suddenly he stopped you. Dick still halfway inside your mouth, you looked up at him questioningly but he only shook his head and pulled you the rest of the way up then pushing you back down on the bed gently.
"It's my turn now," he said hoarsely, his rough voice making you shiver with excitement. He dropped to his knees and gently spread your legs, hooking your feet over his shoulders so he had the perfect view of your pussy, which was glistening with your juices. He drank in the vision for a few seconds, but he knew that you would feel self-conscious if he stared for too long, thus he decided to lay your thoughts to rest by diving in between your legs. Your fingers, acting upon reflex, flew to thread through the soft strands of his hair as he licked a strip up your slit all the way to your clit. His experienced tongue explored your folds thoroughly, collecting every drop of your arousal before delving into your wet heat. His hands cupped your ass to keep you in place as he fucked you with his pliable pink muscle. Although your moans were increasing in volume, he knew that it was not enough to make you come. Therefore, he brought his thumb and forefinger to your clit, massaging it gently at first, then, as he felt your thighs shake with the impending orgasm, he lightly pinched the sensitive nub, forcing you off the edge.
His wicked fingers and tongue didn't stop their ministrations, making you cry and buck against his mouth helplessly, riding the waves of your high. It was only when you whined with oversensitivity that he gave up on lapping up all the juices that were flowing from your pussy. Wrapping his arms around you, he shifted you upwards until your head rested against the pillows and the head of his cock took the place of his mouth. He bent down to kiss you lovingly, exploring your mouth while he pushed himself into you. The moans emitted from your throat were swallowed by his mouth as he slowly filled you, then proceeded to thrust into you with excruciating slowness, as if he was trying to make the moment last forever.
However, there was only so much you could take, and soon you were pleading for him to quit the snail's pace. Jungkook was a caring, loving boyfriend, but in bed he was usually rough and assertive, and you loved it. This gentle, teasing man in bed with you was now almost an entirely different person. "Jungkook... faster, please." At first he ignored your pleas, determined to make love to you at a frustrating speed, but after your incessant begging and the squeezing of your walls around his length, he gave up on control, finally picking up his pace. Your cries of satisfaction promptly filled his room, accompanied by loud smacks of skin slapping against skin. He sat up on his knees and pulled your lower body up by your ass to make it easier for him to plow into you.
The angle in which he was pounding into you now allowed him to reach even deeper inside, banging against your sweet spot with every thrust. His sheets were bunched into your fists as you took on his onslaught, the fire inside of you burning brighter until Jungkook stoked it into an inferno that caused your vision to blur into nothing but white. He savoured the breathtaking sight before him; your head tilted back as you screamed his name in ecstasy, back arched to display your trembling breasts in the air, your whole body wracking with the tremors of your orgasm. He would have given anything to stare at you just a little while longer, but the sensation of your inner muscles pulsing and clenching all around his cock was too much for him to bear. A few more thrusts were all he could muster before he allowed his own high to take over, grunting as spurts of his hot seed painted your walls white.
Before he collapsed on top of you, he rolled onto the bed, bringing you with him. You nuzzled your head against his chest, content to stay there for a little while as your racing heartbeats calmed down to a normal rate. Just before you could drift off to sleep, you managed to ask, "What's up with you today? You're being so... romantic all of a sudden."
"Nothing," he said, but you couldn't see the rueful smile on his face. "I just love you so much, that's all."
"You're so silly," you giggled at his antics. "But I love you too."
If you had known that he was going to disappear with the morning, you would have said more than that. You would have begged and done everything you could to make him stay. Alas, you had no power to see the future, so at that moment you only enjoyed the warmth of his embrace, feeling happy and loved.
~•~•~•~
But that was then. This is now.
Catching yourself before you melt completely in his embrace, you place your hands on his chiseled chest to push him away, breaking the kiss. You try to ignore the fact that the rejection is reluctant, resisting the urge to smash your lips against his and engage in another toe-curling, electrifying kiss. Guilt floods you as your conscience pushes the image of Yoongi to the forefront of your mind, giving you the strength to shove him even further away until he is at arm's length.
"You should go," you gasp. How does one kiss leave you so breathless?
"I'm sorry," Jungkook whispers, but this time he doesn't sound sorry at all and his apology doesn't rile you up like before. You just want to put as much distance as you can between you and him because clearly you cannot think straight whenever he's around. That's not even considering the effect that he has on you when he kisses you, which leaves your brain completely useless to consider anything other than how amazing his lips feel...
"Please leave," you repeat before you lose control and jump his bones. This isn't right. You have a fiancé, and Yoongi doesn't deserve to be treated like this. "What we had was wonderful, but it was in the past. This is now, and now it's too late for us. I'm with someone else. So please go. Please, Jungkook," you beg brokenly. He finally turns to collect his things and leaves without another word, and although you can feel his eyes on you, you refuse to spare him another glance.
After you hear the door close, you let yourself collapse into your chair with your thumb and forefinger pressing into your temples. Your breaths are coming out in shaky puffs, your heart aches so badly, your guilt is immeasurable, and your thoughts are jumbled and confused. Desperate for some clarity, you fish out your phone from the table and scroll through it until you find the contact that you're looking for. Pressing the phone to your ear, you impatiently listen to the dial tone until it stops when the call is received.
"Mother? We need to talk."
"What is it, dear?"
"Are you home? I have something important to ask you."
"Can't we do this over the phone?"
"No," you insist resolutely.
It takes some persuading, but an hour later you are sitting at the coffee table in your parents' living room with your mother, alone as your father is away on a business trip. You fight back another twinge of guilt when you call Yoongi earlier to cancel tonight's dinner with him with reassurances that you are fine. He is obviously worried about you, and telling him there is nothing wrong when everything is chaotic makes your heart weigh heavy in your chest.
As soon as the maid places a tray of tea and biscuits on the table and leaves, your mother says a little grumpily, "Now, what is so important that you have to force me to stay in like this? I was planning to go out with some friends."
Your hand is trembling as you stir your tea. Maybe you should munch on the biscuits, but your appetite has long gone out the window. Knowing that there is no good way to preface it, you decide to dive right in.
"Do you remember Jungkook?"
The smallest crinkle appears between her eyebrows just long enough for you to catch before her features become smooth again as she pretends to think about it. There is no doubt that she remembers Jungkook, the man you were with for years and was determined to marry. "Yes, I remember him. Why?"
"Did you have something to do with our breakup?"
"Why would you say something like that?" She laughs airily, reaching for a cookie to impress the fact that she is not affected by your interrogation, but you have no mood or the patience to play along with her games.
"Mother, you know how much he meant to me. It has been years since then, don't you think I deserve to know the truth?"
Her resigned sigh is the first indication that she is giving up the pretense in favour of getting this over with as quickly as possible. "Your father may have said something to him the day before your graduation..."
"What did he say?" You prompt.
"Well, dear, you have to understand that our situation was a little difficult back then. Being on good terms with Yoongi's family helped us a lot, and you know how his father adores you..." as she trails off, you feel your heart beat faster with trepidation, dreading where this is going.
"Mother, I am not a naive little girl anymore. I know we could have made it through without help from anyone. Now please tell me, what did Father say to Jungkook? Did you tell him about our slight hiccup in business?"
She snorts derisively at your suggestion. "Of course not. As if he could understand the intricacies of our business."
"Jungkook is not stupid, Mother," your words are seeping with venom at the mounting anger in your chest.
"He is stupid enough to believe that we would have disowned you if you stayed with him!" At the look of utter rage and disbelief on your face, she shrinks back and continues softly, "It took some persuading but we managed to convince him that you deserve a better life than anything that he can offer if we disowned you. As if we would renounce the only child we have."
You are shuddering with extreme anger and pain, your agony so palpable that it makes your mother shift away her eyes with guilt. "His family may not be as rich as ours, but he's not exactly poor. Even if he is, I wouldn't have cared. I would live in poverty if it meant that I can be with him. Mother, do you have any idea how much I love him?" It is getting extremely difficult to keep your voice level now when your throat is so constricted.
"I know. That's why we never told you."
"Mother, you had no right," the last word comes out in a sob, but you can't help it. All these years of inexplicable suffering, blaming Jungkook for it when it was your parents who inflicted the pain upon you. You can't even begin to imagine what he had to go through.
"I know," she reiterates. "I'm truly sorry, y/n. After seeing how devastated you were, I wanted to take it back but by that time he was gone, and no one knew where to find him. If I could go back in time, I would do things differently, but it's too late now."
Although your mother doesn't know that he is back in your life, you clutch your phone in the palm of your hand, wondering the same thing.
~•~•~•~
The phone containing the message from Jungkook is still burning a hole through your pocket as you dine with Yoongi the next day. So absorbed in your own thoughts that you fail to notice that Yoongi is being quieter than usual as well. However, after over a quarter of an hour of silence upon the arrival of your orders, he punctuates the silence over the occasional clinking of fork and spoon.
"You haven't been yourself for a while now," he states his observation carefully.
Biting your lower lip, you consider your words. You have to tell him. He has a right to know. "I do have something to confess, but I don't even know where to begin."
He sets down his spoon to reach across the table and holds your hand, giving you strength. You're thankful for the gesture, yet you still can't form words to explain yourself. Minutes of silence pass without a word exchanged between you two, eyes locked to one another, both still as a statue. Your eyes start to water, you suspect from the intense feelings that you have been struggling with for the past weeks although you wish it is simply the result of staring at him for too long. Never one to be able to stand your tears, he takes pity on you, rubbing comforting circles on the back of your hand with his thumb as he starts with a confession of his own.
"Your mother called me last night."
"Oh?" You're not sure if you should feel irritated or relieved at your meddlesome mother. Hasn't she messed up your life enough? But deep down you know that she's simply worried and she is also aware of the depth of Yoongi's love for you. Perhaps she is trying to send him to cheer you up in her stead. At least you know that he is not completely in the dark about the matter at hand, and that makes things easier for you.
"She told me what happened. It's that guy, Jungkook, isn't it? The guy from the interior designing company."
It amazes you how easily Yoongi puts things together, considering your mother doesn't know about you working with Jungkook. On second thought, you shouldn't be surprised. While waiting for you on various occasions, he has seen Jungkook coming out of your office and most likely have noticed that your manner has changed around the time Jungkook started working with you. Yoongi is an observant man, especially when it comes to you, so he may have suspected this long before your mother even said anything.
"I'm sorry, Yoongi," you apologise without further elaboration, as you have told him about your ex from college before. "I did my best to keep it professional. I thought I was over him. But now... I don't know."
Yoongi's thumb stopped moving, but he doesn't release your hand. "Do you still love him?"
"It wouldn't be fair to you if I answer that, Yoongi." You choke back a sob and you can see his eyes mist over as well because both of you know the answer to his question.
"Look, y/n," he says, then gulps. It breaks you to see him fight to get the words out. "As much as I love you, I'm also aware that our family ties are the only reason you're sitting here with me."
"No, don't say that," you protest, a tear falling unbidden down your cheek at his statement. "You know I love you a lot, Yoongi."
"But not the way you love him, right?" You lower your head, unable to answer without hurting him even more than you already have. "I've seen the way you look at him, the expression on your face when you think of him. As much as I'd love to be on the receiving end of those looks," he sniggers at himself, "I know it's not your fault. You can't help loving him any more than I can't stop loving you."
Your tears are falling in earnest now, but Yoongi keeps on going. "I'm happy that even though it's clear who you really love, you're still here with me, but frankly, what the hell are you doing here?" The sudden rise in his tone shocks your sobs into pathetic hiccups. "I'm a selfish man, y/n. If you stay, I'll want to keep you with me forever, but how can I be happy when you clearly love someone else? You have to stop wasting your time with me and go to him."
"B-b-but I don't know if he still wants me," you stutter through your splintering whimpers. Yoongi lets out a bark of laughter at that.
"Are you kidding? From the way he stares at you I don't know how he managed to leave you in the first place. That's how I know he must love you a lot to sacrifice himself and let you go," he gives your hand a gentle squeeze before pulling you up. "Now go before I regret making this decision."
"Yoongi... thank you." He gives you a sharp nod, his lips pressed and you know he's fighting to hold back his own tears. "Please don't think that I never loved you. I'm lucky that you love me."
With that, you pull him into a hug, crying into his chest. You hope that you will see him again in the future, but for now, the embrace has an air of finality to it, and you're afraid to let go and venture into the unknown.
However, ten minutes later you're in the back seat of a taxi, rereading the message that Jungkook has sent to you last night for the hundredth time:
'Since the final design of the coffee shop has been finalised, I will transfer the job to another designer. The change may cause some delays with the project, but after the last time we met, it's clear that I am unfit to be around you. It has been great seeing you again, but I'm afraid that 'now' has to stop here. I know you're tired of hearing this, but there's nothing much I can say for myself, except that I meant every word I said. I love you, and I'm truly sorry.'
Yoongi's words help settle the internal battle within yourself, and you force the insecurities out of your mind to dial Jungkook's number. The phone rings for what seems like an eternity, and you're about to give up when a click alerts you of your call being answered.
"Y/n?" His question is one of mild astonishment.
"Jungkook, where are you now?"
"I'm at home. Why?"
"What's the address?" You shoot him the question without answering his.
Without thinking, he rattles off his address before asking, "Why?" again, but you hang up and repeat the address to the driver who has been circling the block for almost a quarter of an hour, telling him to drive as fast as he can.
Jungkook is already outside his house when you arrive, pacing around the front with a worried expression on his face. He races to get your door before you can even pay the driver, and as the taxi drives off, he cups your face in his large hands, his doe eyes huge as he scans it as if expecting to see signs of an injury. "What happened? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Jungkook," you answer, placing your hands over his to lower it from your face, but you don't let them go. "Why are you backing away from the project?"
He sighs at that. "As I told you in the message, I can't be around you. I tried to stay professional but it's impossible. Even after years of being apart, I still love you so much. I don't want to come between you and your fiancé, but I can't stand to see you with someone else."
The admission makes your heart soar, but you still need to talk to him about the past. "Why didn't you tell me what my parents said to you instead of just leaving back then? I wouldn't have cared if they disowned me as long as I could have been with you."
Smiling sadly, he says, "I know you'd say that, that's why I didn't say anything. Y/n, you deserve the best that the world can offer, and back then I couldn't give you anything. I don't want you to be miserable because you can't have the things that you're accustomed to having. I realise now that it was naive of me, but all I wanted was the best for you. That's all I still want. When I saw that my company got your project, I insisted on taking it because now I'm in a more secure place. I'm not a fresh graduate with an uncertain future anymore. I wanted to repair our relationship, but it never crossed my mind that you're not just unavailable... You're engaged. I can't ruin your life a second time."
"You're so stupid, Jungkook! I don't know how you got the idea in your head that I'm that materialistic, but those things didn't matter to me then, and they don't matter to me now. The only thing I care about is you, because even after all this, I still love you."
A grin breaks over his face at your confession. "You love me?"
"Yes, you idiot!"
"What about your fiancé?" The reminder that as far as he knows, you're not single has his expression falling again.
"He let me go."
"He what?!"
You nod your confirmation. "He let me go, so I can come back to you. So..." You can't help but grasp his hands tighter as you nervously continue, "Do you still want me?"
The tears that are trailing down his cheeks, like yours, are of pure happiness. "Do you even have to ask?"
Laughing and crying, he releases your hands to draw you into his embrace for a kiss. A kiss marking the start of now, and one that you hope will last forever.