Potions lessons took place in one of the large dungeons. Thursday afternoon's lesson proceeded in the usual way. Twenty cauldrons stood steaming between the wooden desks, on which stood brass scales and jars of ingredients. Snape prowled through the fumes, making waspish remarks about the Gryffindors' work while the Slytherins sniggered appreciatively. Malfoy, who was Snape's favorite student, kept flicking puffer-fish eyes at Harry and Ron, until I glared at him so fiercely he gulped and looked away.
"Do you have them?" Ron asked me for the thirteenth time. He was pale and sweaty.
"I told you, yes," I whispered irritably. "Now can you stop acting so suspicious?"
I got up from my seat, pretending that I was just going to get more rat tails, but I took the long way around the classroom, dropping tiny orange salamanders in a pattern around Malfoy's cauldron. I walked back, clutching more tails, and Ron's eyes darted over to me. He looked extremely guilty, even though he wasn't the one doing the prank. I hit him on the head with my Potions book.
"Okay, he's just poured it in," I muttered to Harry. Malfoy had filled his cauldron as high as it could go, per the instructions, and Harry handed me a Filibuster's Wet-Start, No-Heat Firework. I tossed it into his cauldron, and it immediately exploded, spraying the Swelling Solution all over the classroom, Crabbe and Goyle, and, mercifully, the floor.
On cue, each of the salamanders swelled up like balloons, and when they came into contact with the liquid, the fireworks inside of them went off. Like tiny rockets, each salamander flew around the room, banging off of walls and knocking over more cauldrons. I had some extras, so I threw them into the fray; the plan had gone off without a hitch.
I didn't have to look over to see if Hermione had gotten the ingredients; my plan had turned out flawless and kept Snape busy for at least ten minutes. Malfoy had gotten a faceful of his Swelling Solution and his head was finally the size of his ego.
"Silence! SILENCE!" Snape roared. "Anyone who has been splashed, come here for a Deflating Draft - when I find out who did this -"
I arranged my expression into one of surprise and distaste. When everyone had taken a swig of antidote and the various swellings had subsided, Snape swept over to Malfoy's cauldron and scooped out the twisted black remains of the firework. There was a sudden hush.
"If I ever find out who threw this," Snape whispered, "I shall make sure that person is expelled." He was looking right at Harry.
When the bell rang, Hermione, out of breath, said; "Nice work, Ash."
"That was quite a distraction," Ron laughed.
"Go big or go home," I shrugged, grinning. "Snape was looking right at you, Harry, I feel like he suspects you."
"It's fine," he reassured me. "He's got no way to prove it was me, because it wasn't."
We hurried back to Myrtle's bathroom, where Hermione handed the ingredients to me and I stirred quickly. I had sort of become the potion overseer at this point--Hermione was definitely the smartest, but I had a weird knack for Potions. It was just something I was good at.
"It should be ready in two weeks," I said happily.
--
A week later, we were walking past the entrance hall when I saw a small knot of people gathered around the notice board, reading a piece of parchment that had just been pinned up. Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas beckoned us over, looking excited.
"They're starting a Dueling Club!" said Seamus. "First meeting tonight! I wouldn't mind dueling lessons; they might come in handy one of these days..."
"What, you reckon Slytherin's monster can duel?" said Ron, but he, too, read the sign with interest.
"Could be useful," he said as we went into dinner. "Shall we go?"
"I'm always up for dueling," I said. "I'm in."
Everyone else agreed with Ron, so at eight we all hurried back to the Great Hall. The long dining tables had vanished and a golden stage had appeared along one wall, lit by thousands of candles floating overhead. The ceiling was velvety black once more and most of the school seemed to be packed beneath it, all carrying their wands and looking excited.
"I wonder who'll be teaching us?" said Hermione as we edged into the chattering crowd. "Someone told me Flitwick was a dueling champion when he was young--maybe it'll be him."
"As long as it's not--" Harry began, but he ended on a groan: Gilderoy Lockhart was walking onto the stage, resplendent in robes of deep plum and accompanied by none other than Snape, wearing his usual black.
"Oh, come on!" I said, annoyed.
Lockhart waved an arm for silence and called "Gather round, gather round! Can everyone see me? Can you all hear me? Excellent!"
"Now, Professor Dumbledore has granted me permission to start this little dueling club, to train you all in case you ever need to defend yourselves as I myself have done on countless occasions - for full details, see my published works."
"Let me introduce my assistant, Professor Snape," said Lockhart, flashing a wide smile. "He tells me he knows a tiny little bit about dueling himself and has sportingly agreed to help me with a short demonstration before we begin. Now, I don't want any of you youngsters to worry - you'll still have your Potions master when I'm through with him, never fear!"
"Wouldn't it be good if they finished each other off?" Ron muttered. Harry and I snickered quietly.
Lockhart and Snape turned to face each other and bowed; at least, Lockhart did, with much twirling of his hands, whereas Snape jerked his head irritably. Then they raised their wands like swords in front of them.
"As you see, we are holding our wands in the accepted combative position," Lockhart told the silent crowd. "On the count of three, we will cast our first spells. Neither of us will be aiming to kill, of course."
"I wouldn't bet on that," Harry murmured. I nodded. Snape was baring his teeth, and looking at Lockhart with an expression of deep hate.
"One - two - three -"
Both of them swung their wands above their heads and pointed them at their opponent; Snape cried: "Expelliarmus!" There was a dazzling flash of scarlet light and Lockhart was blasted off his feet: He flew backward off the stage, smashed into the wall, and slid down it to sprawl on the floor.
Malfoy and some of the other Slytherins cheered. If it was any other teacher, I would've; but I decided I hated Snape more than I hated Lockhart.
Hermione was dancing on her tiptoes. "Do you think he's all right?" she squealed through her fingers.
"Who cares?" said Harry, Ron and I together.
"He's fine, 'Mione," I comforted her afterwards, though I was ecstatic at seeing Lockhart defeated so easily.
Lockhart was getting unsteadily to his feet. His hat had fallen off and his wavy hair was standing on end. "Well, there you have it!" he said, tottering back onto the platform.
"That was a Disarming Charm - as you see, I've lost my wand - ah, thank you, Miss Brown - yes, an excellent idea to show them that, Professor Snape, but if you don't mind my saying so, it was very obvious what you were about to do. If I had wanted to stop you it would have been only too easy - however, I felt it would be instructive to let them see..."
I scoffed.
Snape was looking murderous. Possibly Lockhart had noticed, because he said, "Enough demonstrating! I'm going to come amongst you now and put you all into pairs. Professor Snape, if you'd like to help me -"
They moved through the crowd, matching up partners. Lockhart teamed Neville with Justin Finch-Fletchley, but Snape reached the four of us before him.
"Time to split up the dream team, I think," he sneered. I almost laughed at his accidental pun, but his lips were curled up in a malevolent smile so I stayed silent. "Weasley, you can partner Finnigan. Potter -"
Harry automatically moved closer to me.
"I don't think so," Snape said, smiling coldly. "Mr. Malfoy, come over here. Let's see what you make of the famous Potter. And you, Miss Granger - you can partner Miss Bulstrode. Miss Dream- let's have you duel Miss Abbott."
I got lucky; there were no more Slytherins for Snape to torment me with. Hannah was a round-faced girl with very fair skin and blonde pigtails. I glared at Malfoy before moving on to face her.
"A fair warning, I've never done this before," I said kindly, and she looked more at ease.
"Me, neither," she piped up.
"Face your partners, and bow!" Lockhart called, Hannah and I bowed to each other, giggling a bit.
"Wands at the ready!" shouted Lockhart. "When I count to three, cast your charms to disarm your opponents--only to disarm them--we don't want any accidents - one ... two ... three -"
"Expelliarmus!" I shouted, and Hannah's wand flew out of her hand and straight towards me. I caught it triumphantly. She looked disappointed but congratulated me all the same.
"I said disarm only!" Lockhart shouted in alarm over the heads of the battling crowd. Apparently others hadn't listened; both Neville and Justin were lying on the floor, panting; Ron was holding up an ashen-faced Seamus, apologizing for whatever his broken wand had done; but Hermione and Millicent Bulstrode were still moving; Millicent had Hermione in a headlock and Hermione was whimpering in pain; both their wands lay forgotten on the floor. Harry and I leapt forward and pulled Millicent off. It was difficult: She was a lot bigger than us.
"Dear, dear," Lockhart said. "Up you go, Macmillan...Careful there, Miss Fawcett .... Pinch it hard, it'll stop bleeding in a second, Boot..."
"I think I'd better teach you how to block unfriendly spells," said Lockhart, standing flustered in the midst of the hall. He glanced at Snape, whose black eyes glinted, and looked quickly away. "Let's have a volunteer pair - Longbottom and Finch-Fletchley, how about you -"
"A bad idea, Professor Lockhart," said Snape, gliding over like a large and malevolent bat. "Longbottom causes devastation with the simplest spells. We'll be sending what's left of Finch-Fletchley up to the hospital wing in a matchbox." Neville's round, pink face went pinker. "How about Malfoy and Potter?" said Snape with a twisted smile. I groaned and so did Harry, Ron, and Hermione.
"Excellent idea!" said Lockhart, gesturing Harry and Malfoy into the middle of the hall as the crowd backed away to give them room.
Lockhart started to instruct Harry in a quiet voice, and then moved his wand in some weird wiggling motion. Then he dropped it. I almost facepalmed, but Hermione grabbed my arm.
"Any more forehead slapping and you'll be going to the hospital wing," she said seriously before we both cracked up.
Lockhart cuffed Harry merrily on the shoulder as the two boys faced each other. Malfoy was smirking, like he knew something we didn't.
"Just do what I did, Harry!"
"What, drop my wand?" This only made me laugh harder. Harry could be an absolute burn legend when he put his mind to it.
"Three - two - one - go!" he shouted. Malfoy raised his wand quickly and bellowed, "Serpensortia!"
There was a collective gasp from the crowd as a jet of light shot out of Malfoy's wand.
"Oh come on, it didn't even hit him!" I started to say, but stopped when I saw the intention of the spell. A large, scaly black snake was curled up on the ground, and we all backed away in fright.
"Don't move, Potter," said Snape lazily, clearly enjoying the sight of Harry standing motionless, eye to eye with the angry snake. "I'll get rid of it..."
"We've got to do something!" I hissed, but Ron held me back, furiously shaking his head.
"Not unless you want to be swallowed by a snake, Ash."
"Allow me!" shouted Lockhart. He brandished his wand at the snake and there was a loud bang; the snake, instead of vanishing, flew ten feet into the air and fell back to the floor with a loud smack. Enraged, hissing furiously, it slithered straight toward Justin Finch-Fletchley and raised itself again, fangs exposed, poised to strike.
Harry suddenly let out a strangled hissing noise from the back of his throat. The snake turned to look at him, and then slumped to the floor, docile, staring at him.
"What did he just do?" I murmured. "It was like he was talking to it..."
Harry turned to Justin, grinning, because he'd made the snake go away, but Justin was staring angrily back at him.
"What do you think you're playing at?" he shouted, and before Harry could say anything, Justin had turned and stormed out of the hall.
"What the heck?" I said to Hannah, who was still standing near me. "Why's he upset?"
"Didn't you hear? Harry was talking to the snake!" she squealed. "Oh, I wonder if he's okay!"
"I'll go," I told her, bounding out of the hall after Justin.
"Justin! Wait!"
"What-oh, it's just you," he said, visibly relaxing when he realized I wasn't Harry. He then seemed to get angry again, remembering I was friends with the Chosen One. "How can you stand to be friends with him! He's a--a--"
"First of all, Harry's my friend, so don't insult him," I said angrily, walking next to him. "And what do you mean?"
"A Parseltongue!" Justin forced out, clearly not expecting me to look at him blankly.
"A what?"
"A Parseltongue," he replied anxiously. "Someone who can speak to snakes."
"But isn't that normal?" I asked. "I mean, this is the wizarding world-"
"It's not!!" Justin almost shouted. "Salazar Slytherin could talk to snakes, and he was a bad wizard! I bet--I bet--"
"Woah, slow down," I said, holding out my hand. "Look, I'm sure there's a logical explanation for this."
"I don't want to be petrified by him!" the curly-haired boy wailed.
"Petrified..." I muttered.
"Heir of Slytherin...Slytherin...snakes...monster in the chamber..." I gasped as the pieces slowly clicked into place. "I have to go to the library."
"Don't leave me! If you're with me he won't attack me!" Justin cried.
"All right, all right," I said, sighing. "You can come too." I kept the plan that was slowly forming in my head a secret. If Justin insisted on following me around, he wouldn't like it.
I dashed to the library, Justin in tow, and grabbed the biggest book of Potions I could. I quickly found what I was looking for, ripped out the page silently, and scribbled a note on the back of it.
"What're you-"
"Shh!" I didn't want Madam Pince to hear me defacing her book, or I'd get detention for the rest of my life. I finished writing and crumpled the paper into a ball, hiding it in my fist.
I grabbed Justin's arm and ran out of the library again, looking up and down every hall.
"What are you even doing?" Justin whined, plainly annoyed.
"Seeing if I'm right," I breathed, noticing Nearly Headless Nick floating in one spot in the middle of a corridor. That was unusual.
"Nick?" I said, waving a hand in front of his face. "Nick?"
"What's wrong with him?" Justin whispered. I shushed him again, pulling him behind the ghost.
"Whatever you do," I instructed, "Don't look anywhere but directly through Nearly Headless Nick."
"Why-"
But the Hufflepuff was cut off as my every suspicion was confirmed, and we came face to face with a big pair of yellow eyes.