Waverly's POV
There are infinite ways to paint the sea. For there are infinite ways to photograph someone. What makes anyone an artist? What makes an old woman taking pictures of her grandkids much different than a professional photographer?
After years, I think I found out. It's all about the story their trying to tell.
Now that I'm sitting facing the horizon I finally figured it out: My story. The only one I can tell. The only one I own fully and will hold and cherish forever.
So, I wonder, what's your story?
Only you can speak your truth. I'm here and I'll be there to listen from start to finish. Don't be scared, I won't judge. And if you read my story you'll know that it is the last thing I would do.
Now, let me take you to the beginning of it all.
It all started when I breathed for the first time in my life. As if I was born twice: One as a sister, daughter and fiancé. The second time as a woman. But how did it happened? And then, what was next? You are aching to know?
Ask the sea.
It always had been because of the sea. As if, every drop of the salted water had become my own metaphor.
It all began when I found the strength, and stubbornness, to climb on a little boat. Except, I sailed alone, because Leo never jumped in too. But me ? I had fallen in love hard. And everything else appeared forgotten and hidden in the clouds above my head. I lost track of time, I forgot my way back home.
And even if they had showed me the limit. Even if the coral leaf was right in front of my eyes, the red flags fighting their ways through my brain. I got lost staring at the horizon, I got lost chasing something that I never even hold in the first place. His love.
And I did it, I let it happened. The barrier was crossed and I was alone. So little and fragile facing the storm.
It hit me. I couldn't breathe. I fell into the deep dark waters. The thought of my sister wasn't enough. The memories like chains at my feet dragging me further down.
I was strong, I struggled for long, terrifying and lonely minutes. But what else can you do when facing the injustice ? No matter how hard you try, sometimes it's just not enough. I thought I was dead. I thought I had died. Until I breathed again. My cheek resting on her heartbeat.
What on irony: I lost myself in the sea. But I found myself in it a while later.
Guess life is all about that. Irony and a bit of surprises. And maybe just a tiny little bit of love, all kinds of it.
Now, tell me, what's your story?
What makes you breathe? What makes you wake up every morning with a smile dancing on your lips?
There's only one important answer,
and it must be: Yourself.
For me, all than I can say is: That summer changed my life and I wouldn't go back for a second to disturb it. I found myself as a woman and as a lover. And now as a_ _
"MOMMY?"
A little voice exclaimed in the distance making me lift my head up. I saved my draft and closed my laptop. A little boy and a girl ran their way across the coffee tables. They both stepped next to me. Ice cream splattered on their noses and cheeks. The little girl spoke first,
"Mommy, Mommyyyyy, are you done with your book yet?"
"I'm only at the preface Naya sweetie ...but... let's say I'm done for the day"
"YEY!" Will exclaimed tip toeing to drop a kiss on my cheek. My heart exploded as I took a longer look on their cute round faces.
They started giggling together whispering to each other. Naya pointed at my cheek. And that's when I noticed the ice cream melting under my eye.
"Will you tricked me!" I giggled too, taking my son into my arms. I started tickling him and he burst into a clear laughter. "What even happened with the ice cream?" I asked starting to clean his face.
I froze when I felt two arms wrapping around my chest. The person hugging me from behind dropped a kiss on my ear. My cheeks turned into a new shade of red when I noticed the smell, now lingering on my skin. Her famous cherry chapstick created a fog in my mind. God, I could never get enough.
As always, only her voice could bring me down from the stars,
"We kinda had a little ice cream war"
I new she was smiling and I couldn't help too,
"From where I'm watching, looks like you won."
She giggled in my ear and pulled away from the embrace. I missed her warmth instantly, but the gift of seing her upfront was priceless. Fortunately she had tied her hair up in a messy bun, like always. Except, now she had vanilla ice cream melting all over her red locks.
The kids and I burst out laughing watching her clean herself with little napkins.
I high-fived both of them earning a false offended look from Nicole.
I turned my gaze back to the twins,
"So? What are the plans for the rest of the day?"
Will jumped from my lap and placed one arm around his sister's shoulders,
"We wanna go swimming !! Can we Mama?"
Nicole dropped the tenth dirty napkin in the bin next to us and answered,
"Seguro cariños. But Mommy and I have to keep an eye on you at all time..."
"Can we at least run to the waterfront just to start the sandcastle?" asked Naya already getting really impatient. I smiled applying sunscreen to their freckled noses,
"Okay but no diving in the sea until we arrive. Alright angels?"
"Thank you MOMMIES!" They exclaimed in unison already running in the sand in their rainbow bathing suits.
"Their so cute..." I whispered to myself putting my stuff and theirs in a big cloth bag.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Nicole sitting on the chair next to me. I found a sense of comfort in the feeling of the sand between my toes. The sun bathing my tanned skin in a pool of warmth. Without noticing I closed my eyes and let myself drift until I leaned my cheek on her shoulder.
I let out a long sigh and a smile crept to my lips when she intertwined our hands lovingly.
I wasn't too concern about our kids. I knew Robin and Jeremy were looking after them for us.
Nicole kissed my temple softly before she whispered against my skin,
"Are you still sure about spending our summer here?"
I pulled away reluctantly from the crook of her neck so that she could hear my answer,
"I need this for my book. I mean...That's what I thought but it's not as easy as I envisioned it..."
"Cielo" she kissed the back of my hand to bring my attention back to her "There's no shame in giving up. This is not permenant. It is a vacation and I want you to enjoy it. We could always leave and come back, next month, next year or never. Whatever you need and how you need it, comes first. Like I always say-"
"When I'm ready I'll know...And I'm ready Nicole. I actually feel that being here is therapeutic in a good way"
I nodded confidently and I watched her drop another kiss on my palm,
"Well in that case, I can't be more proud of you...And before you ask and divert the conversation to me. The answer is no. I just can't."
She sat back in her chair taking a sip of my ice tea.
So I let my hand fall innocently in the middle of her thigh to maintain her attention,
"One little jump in the water ! It's not that high and the kids could even do it with you..."
"I'm not ready. I'm just not as strong and brave as you, you know?"
"Sometimes you forget you almost died saving me" I added softly, drawing patterns on her skin in a sign of comfort.
But she only mumbled swallowing more tea,
"I wouldn't have made it if you hadn't stomped your feet in the water to remain close to the surface."
I leaned a little more her way and asked,
"Babe?"
"Hmm" she finally lifted her head up to meet my eyes.
"I love you" I smiled and she did too.
"Y yo a ti"
"And I believe you could do it"
"Cielo..." she diverted her gaze back to the pink drink.
"Here me out, we could wash your pain away. Free you from this endless horrible nightmare. Together, united. For you to sleep peacefully and erase theses irrational fears. You just need to face your traumas, get to know them so you can start to live with them. We could jump together as a new beginning..."
A smirk appeared at the corner of her perfect lips and I knew she was about to tease me,
"You're such a poet. Did I ever tell you, you should be a writer? You'll make the most beautiful novels."
"Smooth but not enough smart mouth. Could you just at least consider it?"
"I will, I promise" she answered honestly holding my gaze.
"We should probably go swimming with the kids"
"But I want to kiss you" she leaned closer her warm breath making the goosebumps travel through my skin.
My hazel eyes already closing in anticipation, I managed to tease back,
"Then do both, Sheriff?"
-Nicole's POV-
'The Enchanted Lake' for as long as I could remember always had been a magical place. The sunset was finally setting on the endless beach and the turquoise lagoon. Letting everyone gathered, speechless.
In the middle a giant campfire illuminated in a verdant red, the rested and tanned faces, smiling and laughing.
I saw a familiar someone notice me and smile. She grabbed a beer and sprinted towards me. I nearly fell when she jumped into my arms for an huge hug.
I pulled away a little to see in more details the features that I knew by heart. She exclaimed happily,
"Red! Where have you been?"
"Taking a nap with the twins...Thank you though, for getting everything ready."
"Don't, it was all my pleasure. Plus, we both know that I love a good excuse to eat leftovers."
I rolled my eyes taking a sip from the bottle,
"Rose..."
"There's still plenty I swear!"
I decided to tease her a little,
"You're gonna have to pay it back"
"Go down this road at your own risk Red, you still haven't returned my shirt. How many years now?"
The memories came flowing back drawing a smile on my lips. I had missed her so much even though we practically saw each other everyday. But this place had always been ours. And I couldn't deny that at every corner of every cabin, I remembered a
moment shared with her, Robin or Jeremy. I came down to earth and swallowed the alcool before I sighed,
"Ten.."
"Damn for a thief you're super honest. But poor you, according to my calculations, it represents a lot of compensation..."
I knew where she was going. We always used to throw some stupid challenges at each other. Now I had a chance to pick one that I was sure to crush,
"Swimming race to the yellow buoy and we're even?"
She smirked and I felt my heartbeat rise up. I knew her devils eyes too damn well,
"Nope. I prefer water jumping contest from the cliff."
"That's unfair."
"How? It's a piece of cake for you, look at your abs and confidence"
I felt myself getting anxious, the fear growing out like a knot in my stomach making me nauseous. I whipped a drop of sweat rolling down the side of my face,
"It's unfair because you know that now I can't refuse it"
"It's called a game. You lost. Now get into your swimsuit, boo, cause it's about to go down...Get it? Cause you know, we're about to go down the cliff"
She chuckled taking a sip from her own drink. But I was paralyzed. I must have turned white but I quickly tried to regain my composure,
"Why did you have to be so stubborn?"
"Hey! You're welcome for coaching you til you got into your wife's pants. Have a little more respect for Rose the banging queen, old and grumpy, only 33....WOOHOOO" she ended on the tune of dancing queen, moving her hips as I just stood there speechless trying to process what I had just agreed to do.
I managed to exhale,
"You're gross"
"I'm delightful"
She smirked proudly.
But I instantly realized who was the most important right now,
"Well fine, I just need to warn Waverly-"
"I got it. I'll just tell everyone your about to do three backflips in a row. I bet even Michael Jackson would rise up from the dead to see that"
She laughed, turned her heals the other way and rushed back to everyone around the campfire.
When it finally hit me I managed to yell,
"Ro-!...And she's gone."
I dropped the beer on a table next to me. Luckily or not I was already wearing my swimsuit under my clothes.
I stripped down except for the navy blue waterproof piece of clothing and my pair of shorts,
"Well, I'm fucked."
-10 MINUTES LATER-
I guess it was finally time. Finally time to face my biggest fear, my phobia, my trauma. Whatever you wanna call it, it feels the same. And usually you're not looking forward to it. In my case ? I was basically walking the most reluctantly possible. Not looking at the sea, not doing anything else but walking straight ahead. As if, stopping for just one second, would be enough for me to chicken out.
Because the odds were always in my favor, the campfire was actually a few steps from the cliff above the sea. Everyone would be able to watch me fall. Oh god, I love my luck endlessly.
For I was walking straight to the cliff, I didn't acknowledge anything on my sides. A hand grabbed my wrist on the left and pulled me inside a beach hut. I let out a cry of surprise and immediately took myself off the stranger's grip.
The lights of the cabin being off I took a few minutes to get used to the almost black. Luckily some rays of the sun managed to make their ways through the damaged wooden slats. And finally I recognized her brown hair with golden reflections. The four moles scattered on her caramel-skinned neck. But it was nothing compared to her hazelnut eyes whose happiness made the green around her pupil sparkle.
I watched her giggle filling the air and my heart with music. I adored her so much that I could've stayed right there for a while. My wife. Waverly Earp Haught. Anyway, what was happening again? Oh right, wait, why did she brought me here?
I let out a deep breath trying to control my heartbeat,
"God, you scared the shit out of me...What's going on?"
Her face immediately dropped to guiltiness,
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I just had this flashback of you and me in that very same hut...And it kinda made me-"
"horny?-"
"-Want to do it again?"
She smirked pulling me in for a heated kiss. I immediately felt breathless and light headed. Every fricking damn time was as if she had lightned up a thousand fires within me. I let my hands travel through her curves and made them stop at the back of her thighs. Lifting her against me, the tip of her tongue grazed my lips, we both knew they were no sign of stopping on this road (not to hell but to fricking paradise). I gently dropped her down, to sit on a wooden cabinet containing the volleyballs. I could feel her smile against my lips, her fingertips wandering along the structure of my cheekbone before sitting on my dimple. As my hands traveled north, caressing the sides of her thighs, they stopped in the hollow of her bare back.
For a second my heart stopped beating. All the powerful sensations mixed together as they flowed through my veins like a fiery trail. It felt as if I had already gone far away, yet I felt each touch ten times more. Her hand caressed my belly above my bathing suit. At that moment I decided to bitterly separate myself from her lips in order to speak. Her chopped breathing reasoned within the room, and the anticipation of the pleasure I could give her, almost made me jump back in. She looked at me with an interrogative look, her hands still resting on the buckle of my shorts.
"Nic, what's wrong? The kids are with their uncles, we have time on our hands. And I really need yours somewhere else..." she bit her lips suggestively and I felt my mind going to crazy places, actually, everywhere else from where it needed to be.
I ran my hand through my hair and sighed,
"Trust me, I want you. But we can't do this right now..."
She titled her hair to the side giving me a curious look,
"I don't mind if you're on you're period, babe. Although I calculated them for tomorrow-"
"No, it's not that at all, Did...Did Rose tell you anything?"
"Told me what?" she asked while readjusting her blouse that I had unbuttoned and somewhat, well, completely open.
"That barely 10 minutes ago she dared me to jump off a cliff into the sea..."
She gazed directly back into my eyes and I felt my knees weakened under her spell. She whispered,
"Oh, shit"
"Yeah kinda my reaction at the time.."
"And what did you say? I mean how do you fell about it?" she took my hands in hers, stroking my skin gently in a warming gesture.
"It's weird. I keep telling myself that I didn't have a choice anyway. That even now I couldn't refuse. And yet, yet...Ugh, I suck at this..."
"You're doing good, just breathe, okay? Breathe and let go" she inhaled and exhaled through her mouth motioning to me to do the same. After her second I felt my lungs calming down and my heartbeat falling to a more normal pace.
I met her hazel eyes again and gathered all my strengh and love from it to keep going,
"She is my best friend she would absolutely understand if I refused. But now that the thought has burrowed its way inside my brain... That with every step my hands are shaking a little less, I tell myself that perhaps... Perhaps it isn't such a bad idea."
At my last words, Waverly furrowed her eyebrows as a sign of deep thinking before she finally said,
"I feel the same way, It's just...The way she's making you do it, I don't like it..."
"What do you mean?"
"The first time it happened, you didn't jump into the sea, you fell because someone pushed you-"
"-My father" I cut her off in a bitterer tone that I anticipated.
"Yeah...My point is: it won't make any difference if now, it feels like someone's pushing you again. In a spiritual way maybe, but still is..." she ended in a small loving smile, making it impossible for me not to do the same.
"I see...Except that it's not because she dared me, it's not because I can't avoid this in any way, that I'm powerless. Only I can take charge on how it's done and how it ends. Not anyone else but me. And I'll use that freedom to make this moment my own."
I saw her lower her eyes to the ground, I knew what she was thinking. Despite her beautiful words of support, she wanted to protect me more than anything. Unfortunately, they were only two types of outcome and they were diametrically opposed. I whispered to get her hazels back on me, "Waverly..."
"Hmm?" she lifted her chin up again.
"Today, I won't fall, I think I'll finally jump..."
'JUMP JUMP JUMP'. The screams entered my head again like an old ditty destined to keep everyone from sleeping. And my blood froze in my veins,
"But-shit- what if I'm too weak, what if I can't. Cielo, what if I fall.-"
"I wouldn't let it happen. I'll catch you..."
"How?" I asked letting my eyes tearing up. My icy hands already living again, against her warm palms.
I saw her bring my fingers to her lips to drop a soft kiss on it. Her warm breath travelled through every part of my body, before her soothing voice, as always, filled up my scars with clouds of happiness,
"No matters what happens, you'll always know where to find me, I promise. I'll be here..."
Now, I had to lean my hands on the furniture on both sides of her legs so I wouldn't fall into her arms. I gazed back at her, her fingertips already whipping away a few of my tears. I whispered,
"And where is that, exactly?"
"By your side." she smiled in the cutest most heartwarming way possible.
"God I love you"
"I'm not sure god hears you, or gives a shit, so I'll take it" she giggled and I joined her.
"Wa-"
"I love you too...And Nic?"
"Hmm?" I kissed her soft cheek twice not ready to pull away from her divine smell. Just not yet.
"Don't forget that you're safe now and jumping off this stupid cliff would never change that..."
"I hope so.." I eventually stepped back reluctantly and helped her down the little cabinet.
"I know so...Now go show off how hot you look in you're swimsuit. I bet you're gonna burn everybody's retina." she kissed my upper back now hugging me from behind.
As we stepped out of the hut, I turned around not braking our embrace. Just not yet. I leaned to kiss her forehead before I whispered against her skin,
"Good, I like the privilege of contemplating your body."
-15 MINUTES LATER: AT THE TOP OF THE CLIFF-
Blank. My mind was blank. Years and years later, and I couldn't think about a single thing. Boom. One look at the sea far below me. One look at my feet trembling one the gray stone of this stupid ugly cliff. Okay, it wasn't ugly, it was actually the prettiest spot of the entire place. But you get my point.
No actually, my mind wasn't all blank. They were something, hidden far away...Maybe if I dug deeper-
"Nicole?-"
I startled and under my feet a crunchy pebble was thrown into the water. I felt my body move forward, as if I had embraced my fate. As if falling had become a reflex. The icy water of the waves swirled in my memory. I could still sense it filling my lungs. I could still hear my father's laughter. My mother's tears. My brother's scream. I felt my body tilt forward, I had embraced my fate.
Two arms wrapped around my waist and tilted me further back. Her body so familiar collapsed to mine as she never let go, her firm grip around my body. Her warm breath tickled my skin as she whispered in my hear,
"I'm by your side. And I'm not letting go before you jump."
A fresh wind struck against our intertwined bodies. A shiver ran down my spine and I felt her draw even closer to me, as if it were possible. My teeth chattered a little as I struggled to respond,
"You always see the beauty in everything...Te-tell me what you see now...?"
She dropped several kisses on my back heating up the naked part,
"I see...the turquoise lagoon stretching as far as the eyes can see. I see my amazing wife, shivering at the top of a cliff. I see our kids, watching us from below, screaming your name and happily eating too many candies. I see us, together. I see our beautiful journey. And I see pride. Because Nicole Earp Haught, I am incredibly proud and honoured to have spent the last ten years, building a family with you. And I honestly wake up every frickin morning asking myself how in the world did I get so lucky. Because you are brave, loyal, kind, warm, funny, a wonderful mom and the best wife I could've ever imagined in any fairy tale. You are my queen and my lover. And not a single drop of water could even change how I feel about you..."
"Thank you..." was the only words strong enough to gey through the lump in my throat.
"Don't. I was only doing what felt right for an amazing woman like you." I felt her smile on my shoulder and it warmed me up in every way. That's when it hit me,
"Oh waw, that was from our first night..."
"The best-"
"HEY, I got better!" I exclaimed slightly offended.
She giggled in my ear, lightening the air floating around us.
"Of course you did...It was just really special."
I took a deep breath and opened my eyes again. My body shivered at the sight of the salted water but I held on,
"Waverly, I think you need to stop talking so that I can't get it over with."
"Do you wanna make a wish?" she whispered in my ear.
"Like an ultima verba?" I gasped pulling away from our embrace to face her.
She giggled a little more,
"No silly. We're ten feet high, you're gonna survive..." but nothing seemed enough to lift up my mood now. She let out a deep sigh, "Fine, except if a planes crashes on you when you hit the water and-" she saw my horrifed look and figured she had went to far with her jokes, "Too soon? too soon..."
I shook my head and turned towards the edge of the cliff. As I took a step, I enjoyed the rays of golden sun easing the chills on my skin. Waverly stepped by my side as I walked closer to the edge. When I finally met her eyes again, I knew this was it, the time had come. I smiled to reassure my wife,
"I'm freezing my butt off, I'll just do it..."
"I'm right beside you babe! You got this..." she dropped a last warm kiss on my cheek and stepped aside, proving that she would never force me to jump. Like the first time we met I noticed the way her eyes would gleam under the sun. Hazel with a drop of green and blue around her pupil. I swam in those colours that I got lost in willingly every second of every day. Only the truth could be whispered from my mouth because she already had my heart,
"Te quiero tanto"
"And I love you too. Now take a deep breath, close your eyes...Ready?"
I did as she said and I whispered to the sea,
"Ready."
-Waverly's POV-
*SPLASH*
Just one fucking *splash* and nothing else. The sound echoed on the rock face and on the static bodies on the beach. No one dared to rejoice, no one dared to speak, or even breathe. For me, it had all stopped. A look at my children, confused not to see their mother reappear on the surface. I did not hesitate.
My blouse slipped on the floor closely followed by my shorts. I ran to the stone's edge. In the very place where she had promised me she was ready, she had said so! So why wasn't she out of the water yet?
As if I was out of my mind, responding only to my primal instincts, and my infinite love. I felt my legs bending under my weight and propelling my body forward. My hands went above my head and I tipped over. In one perfect dive. A second later, my skin met the icy water and sank further into the bluish reflections.
And I saw her, like a sireine swimming her way towards me. I did it too, so that we finally met in the middle. Without wasting any time I grabbed her hands and brought her body back against mine. At last her eyes opened, and I sensed the surprise in her eyes. And then the gratitude. As if she had waited for me.
Slowly we kicked our way back to the surface.
The air finally filled our lungs and a tear came out of my closed eye. My nose rested in the crook of her neck while my loose hair was scattered over our interlaced bodies. Her arms embraced me a little more as our breaths subsided to the rhythm of the foam on the shore we had forgotten. It was just us, surrounded by the turquoise water that was seeping into every corner of our fears, into every corner of our skin. The sun was gradually setting on the horizon when I finally opened my eyes. And before my words could leave my lips... I heard her, laying a loving kiss on my forehead,
"I told you, You saved me first."
*Fin*
For the Sea of love:
For Heaven is a place on Earth (obviously San Junipero baby):
And for where do you live?: Lol I have no idea I'm sorry. Though I never said I was a good author.
ANYWAY,
How are you all doing? It's been a very hot minute. Honestly, I was focusing on writing my other fan fic. But some very kind people commented and made me realize that this beautiful characters deserved a proper ending.
I hope you liked this final chapter as much as I loved writing it (even though I'm sobbing right now).
This story will always be very close to my heart. I kinda meant it like a poem, or a big metaphor around love and pain and becoming your own person.
I really hoped it made you escape for a while in these very hard times.
ALSO I HOPE YOU CANNOT WAIT FOR WYNONNA EARP SEASON 4 EITHER.
I love you all so much, thank you for the amazing support,
Have a beautiful sunny day,
Maé.