I swear time slows when Liam walks in. My eyes are drawn to him almost immediately, even though he is among a gaggle of his other friends. It is a little alarming how he stands out to me so effortlessly, how so painfully aware of him I still am.
Liam walks with purposeful steps, with his eyes on Kyle, who is saying something that I cannot quite catch. Then Liam briefly runs his fingers through his hair and smiles, and I am hit with a wave of pathetic longing.
It takes a Herculean effort to force myself to stop staring. I make my way over to table two with a practiced smile on my face. I serve them their drinks, with my mind refusing to function properly with Liam so unexpectedly in my immediate vicinity. It is really no surprise that I blurt out, "here is your long black sir", to the lady who had requested a caramel soy latte.
I stammer out an apology as my cheeks flood with colour and make my way back towards the counter. It is now that our eyes meet.
Liam could not have caught sight of me at a worse possible time. My apron is patchy and adorned with splashes of coffee stains, my bun is not cutely messy, and my face is splotched with colour and blanched from lack of sleep. Yet he locks eyes with mine for what seems like an eternity. He drinks in my features and I drink in his, and then he looks away with a rough jerk of his head, as though angry at himself for betraying interest.
I stumble over towards the counter. Shelia blinks like a deer caught in headlights when she sees my face. I can feel myself flushing even brighter with embarrassment at myself.
I look up cautiously. Brenda Stevens is shooting me a calculating look, with a smug, little smirk playing at the corner of her mouth. I had never understood why Liam was friends with her. She had never given me friendly vibes, and her comments had always been a little too snide to be considered harmless. She had always acted so differently towards me whenever Liam, or anyone like Shane or Kyle, were around too. I wrinkle my nose at her.
She studies me with her usual 'you don't deserve to even look at me' attitude. She opens her mouth to speak, and I know that nothing good will come out.
"Oh, Liam!" she gasps. "I didn't know that your girlfriend worked here!"
Four other pairs of eyes swing towards my direction. I hurriedly occupy myself by wiping down the countertop, and in doing so, I knock one of the decorative pot plants over. It shatters on the ground with a burst of sound, spilling dirt and pottery shards everywhere in a splay of directions.
"We're not going out."
I flinch. My hands are shaky as I bend down to begin sweeping up the mess.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Brenda replies, sounding innocently apologetic. "I never would have recommended this place if I knew."
I want to punch her.
I do not hear Liam say anything in reply. He must have shrugged this off or ignored her, because one of his friends asks Brenda what she is getting. She replies with some nonsense about there not being any pumpkin spice lattes here with a huff of indignation.
"I'd much rather just have a taste of you."
Brenda says this in a smooth sultry voice. When I look up, her eyes are perfectly hooded, and she is leaning in towards Liam with a beautifully manicured hand on his bicep.
"Liam, kiss me." she purrs.
I freeze still in my movements, only staring with my eyes wide and fixated on the two of them. Brenda leans in, and my breath catches. For a moment, I am afraid that Liam will only stare, that he will actually let her kiss him. But then right as her mouth is about to connect with his, Liam turns his head to the side. Brenda's lips land squarely on the side of his jaw.
"No, thanks." he says coolly. "I'm going home."
He nods goodbye to his other friends and makes his way to the door. It is only because my gaze is still so intently focused on him, that I notice him sneaking a glance at me before he slams the door shut. Then I am left with the sight of his retreating back, and the sun transforming his hair into a mocha halo.
The girl in the cute plaid skirt loops an arm through Brenda's, saying something to her with a tinkering laugh. Kyle laughs loudly at this too, and the atmosphere lifts as he tousles the coconut hair of the tall Asian boy beside him.
I dump the contents of the pot plant into the bin. I wash my hands before heading over to the table by the window to wipe it down. Another waitress takes their order and serves them their drinks. I do not pay much attention to Liam's friends after this, but I do notice that they leave about half an hour later instead of opting to study here like the majority of other students.
Kyle catches my eye as they are going and shoots me a wide smile. The cute Asian boy who I have not met before, looks over at me in acknowledgement. This makes me duck my head down and turn away. The rest of the shift is slow, so I have time to talk to Sheila as we both dawdle behind the counter.
"I don't know how to stop." I admit quietly.
I am worried by the extent that I am still invested in him. Worried because I still care. Worried by how none of it has seemed to have faded much at all.
"Arden, it doesn't work like that." Shelia replies.
She pauses for a moment to rearrange the pot plants again. They look a little unbalanced now that one of them is gone, sitting in a row of four instead of a neat five.
"You can't stop love. It's not something that you can turn on and off."
"What if I never get over him?"
Sheila actually rolls her eyes.
"Arden, you'll be fine. It's just first love, young love. You just need to meet more people. Find a new hobby or something."
I manage to crack a smile.
Sheila smiles back and says, "Take care of yourself first, though. You look tired."
"I will." I promise easily.
Liam somehow appears even more distant the next day. He nods a greeting before he sits down, but otherwise ignores me. He is careful to keep himself and his books to his side of the table, abiding by the invisible line drawn between us. There is nothing odd about this though. This is his usual behaviour, the extent to which our interactions go to now. What is odd, is that today he also blows off other people who try to speak to him. I would have analysed this a great deal more, except my headache has gotten even worse overnight and it is a struggle to merely keep awake. I let a curtain of my hair drop in between us.
I end up propping my chin up in my left hand and falling asleep in the middle of class. The bell rings shrilly at the end of the period. I jolt awake. This is when I catch Liam looking at me. Well, that is before he jerks his head back and gets up, picking his books up and tucking in his chair.
He pauses for a brief moment in front of my desk and makes eye contact with me for another moment. Then he strides off quickly without so much as a goodbye.
I have another afternoon shift at Coffee House on Saturday. Sheila is not here this time, because she has considerably less hours than I do. I am manning the cash register alone when Delilah walks in.
"Hello," she greets, all pearly smiled and sweet. "I saw that you guys are recruiting, and I want to apply for the waitressing job."
Delilah Bays is even more beautiful closeup. She carries herself knowing that she is gorgeous too, with her snowy glowing skin and waves of coppery golden hair. I am taken aback for a moment just looking at her.
"Oh, sure." I reply, almost forgetting to smile. "Just a second."
I turn back to call for my manager.
"Andrew! Someone's here for the job."
Andrew Millers is a sturdy, tall sort of man in his mid-forties, with kind eyes and ropes of muscle in his arms. He runs this cafe with his wife Julie, who has sharp eyes and a silver tongue, but she often lets me eat the muffins before they go stale and is still so very much in love with her husband. Andrew gestures for me to take over in his coffee making.
Delilah gets the job almost immediately. She is charming and chatty, knowing exactly when to smile and so very good at speaking. She even has several months of experience from her previous local cafe. I am a little in awe as I observe her, because Delilah Bays is extraordinary. Some people are just born standing out. Are able to lift the atmosphere of a room with just their presence, with a charisma that is uniquely theirs. Have to ability to captivate others with their speech and movements, regardless of whatever they are doing. Delilah Bays is both extraordinary and beautiful. Deadly.
I have a shift with her the next morning. She gets there earlier than I do, and is humming perfectly on key to what sounds like Bruno Mars's 'That's what I like', when I walk in.
"Morning." she says casually.
My head throbs. "Good morning."
We make small talk as we set up the café, with Delilah leading us through our conversation. We talk about nice little things, like how my go to coffee order is a classic mocha, and how Delilah absolutely loves watching horror movies during daytime, and then the weather of her old hometown, Toronto. I even manage to make her laugh when I tell her the story of the lady who came in here one morning with a little yapping chihuahua hidden under her jumper. As the shift rolls by, I realise that I rather like the new girl, who wears a bold red lip and has a loud, no-nonsense attitude behind her laugh.
When I see Delilah again on Monday, she grins in greeting and waves with the enthusiasm of a cheerleader. Kyle who is standing next to her, sees this and turns to raise an eyebrow at me. I raise my hand shyly to return her greeting with a more subdued energy.
"Isn't that the new girl?" Sheila asks.
"Yeah, she started working with us. I had a shift with her yesterday." I reply.
I link arms with Shelia, and we begin walking towards the northern block of our school. I think about the way Delilah's hair had looked under the sun, all glossy and thick and shiny like molten waves of copper.
"She's so pretty." I sigh.
"Shut it, you're pretty." Shelia says back.
When the bell rings, we depart ways and I head over to my Advanced English classroom. My heart pounds a little faster in anticipation of seeing Liam. It embarrasses me, although not enough that it dims the prospect enough for me to snap out of it.
I am rubbing mindlessly at the dark circles underneath my eyes, and so I miss the moment he walks in.
Liam seems to be staring at my face as he makes his way towards his spot next to me. He seems oddly fixated, with the vibrant blue of his eyes intense and unwavering. It feels odd and out of place. I have not experienced this for a while. I rub at the corner of my mouth, in case he is noticing some excess dried toothpaste.
Liam takes his seat as the wave of students slowly ebb in.
"Have you been sleeping?" he asks.
His words come out soft and tentative, but his question shocks me fully awake. I gape at him for a moment, wide eyed and confused because he actually looks a little worried. I avert my eyes.
"Yeah." I say back.
Liam speaks again after a while.
"If you're still so cut up over our breakup, you should see someone about it." he says coldly.
A surge of mild embarrassment and white-hot rage courses through me. Prick.
"This isn't about you. I've just been working more hours."
Liam does not reply to this. He shifts his chair to angle himself away from me. I have to bite my lip to resist apologising for being rude.
"Today, we'll be starting a pair project." Miss Laney announces.
She sifts through some handouts and drums her fingers against her desk. Then she looks up, and says something life-shattering.
"Just work with whoever's sitting next to you."
What the actual heck.
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Dedicated to @We_re_just_Writers for the cover she made !! (sorry this is so late oops)