After I performed for the students at my old high school, I walked off the stage and made a beeline for Lily.
"Get me out of here," I said bluntly.
We exited out the same back door I used with Nate just hours before.
The black Suburban and security vans waited for me, blocking anyone from the area, including press. As they rushed me into the SUV, Lily and my father followed. I sat back, placed my seatbelt on, and pretty much lost it.
My father was concerned as he tried to calm me down, not knowing what exactly was happening to make me so upset. Lily assured my dad it was just an emotional day being back in the old neighborhood, and she had "this," meaning, "me," under control.
He decided to leave us alone as he jumped into the security vehicle behind us. He knew since my mother had passed, Lily had been by my side and was the one person I could confide in.
As I sat in the car having a total sob fest, Lily instructed the driver to head out as soon as possible. As I cried on my best friend's shoulder, I felt her move her head away from me and look out the window.
"Just drive," she told the driver, " It's just a few students that got through security," she said confidently and in control of the situation.
By the time we arrived back at the hotel to pack and leave, news had hit that my single was officially released. "Honestly" had an instant buzz, and I was selfishly disappointed. A little part of me wished Walt would quickly release the second song, making the first one disappear forever.
With heightened attention from the album release, news leaked out about where I was staying in town, and fans started to surround the hotel. More security was brought in so I could exit safely from the property. My father oversaw all the arrangements and made sure I waited until we received the greenlight to leave the building.
My bags were all packed and at the door. Lily brought her bags, double the number of mine, into my room so we could leave together. I stood at the window and peeked outside at the large crowd that had gathered. Any other day, I would've been pinching myself to see if this was all real. This was not one of those days.
"It was self-sabotage. That's all I can come up with," I said to Lily.
"I don't believe that. I think people do things for a reason, even if you might not know why at the time. There is a reason behind everything," she spoke confidently.
I moved the curtain back into place to cover the window and glanced at Lily with my blood shot eyes, the result of me crying the entire way back to the hotel.
"I should've never come here. I thought I could handle it, but obviously, I couldn't," I said.
Lily listened to my pity-party as I went on and on while she sat in a chair, scrolling through her phone intently reading emails and texts.
After a few minutes, Lily glanced up at me with a strange look that worried me.
"What's wrong?" I said.
Lily stood up and slowly handed me her phone. Something was really wrong. Lily's phone was never out of her hand, and never given to anyone, at any time.
"You should read this."
As she handed me the phone, all I saw was an email of some sort.
"I'm going to check in with your dad and leave you alone for a little bit."
Before I could say anything, Lily exited the room.
As I placed my eyes back on the phone, I focused on the email:
FROM: Nate Stanton
SUBJECT: Please give to Nicky
I slowly plunked down on the end of the bed and started to read:
I tried stopping the car back at the school, but your driver kept going. I know how much I hurt you that night. I'm not going to waste my breath and tell you I'm sorry, again. We've been down that road the last 24 hours and got nowhere. I know you want the truth. Things happened in my life, with my family, you don't know about. I want the chance to explain everything.
The song was a gut punch. It was hard to listen to. I want to make this right. If you leave North Carolina without talking to me, don't think you're going to get rid of me that easily. You got to say your peace through the song. Let me have a chance to say mine.
Please Nick, I'm begging you...
I sat on the bed motionless. I could barely hold the phone as it loosely dangled in my hand.
This whole situation made me physically exhausted and emotionally drained.
There was only one thing I could do.
"I don't think I could've done that," Lily said, shocked at my decision to return home to Nashville without speaking to Nate.
Her reaction was surprising, she was never the sentimental type.
As we left the hotel that night, I didn't respond to Nate's email, Lily did.
I almost had to force her to type the words because she thought I was making a mistake.
I made up my mind and stuck with it, like a real adult would.
I rationalized in my head that Nate was not apologizing for the right reasons.
Fate did not bring us back together. Plain and simple.
"I'm sorry, she is unavailable," Lily said, replying to Nate's email.
Over the next month, I refocused my energy on what mattered, my career. "Honestly" was currently the number one hit on the country charts, and I was on a media blitz campaign.
You name it, I appeared on it.
Reed and I secretly saw one another again, but this time, strictly as just friends. We concluded we were better off having a platonic relationship for the time being. Things were way too complicated in our lives for anything else.
As the media tour continued, Lily had setup a long day of interviews where various reporters and their cameraman would, one-by-one, interview me in a small hotel conference room.
The day seemed to drag on and on, and I felt uncomfortable sitting for so long. I dreamt of escaping back home to a nice, long bath with the amazing, scented bath bombs I found at a local shop in downtown Nashville.
As I waited for the next crew to set up, I glanced down at my phone.
Reed texted:
Hope the day is going well...have a relaxing bath tonight. Wish I was there!
He ended the text with a wink emoji.
We still occasionally flirted back and forth, some harmless fun between two friends. Reed's text made me smile and re-energized me for the next interview.
As I placed the phone down beside me, the cameraman indicated he was ready. The door opened and the next reporter walked in.
My mouth would've fallen to the ground, if that was possible. Nate appeared out of nowhere and closed the door behind him.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, shocked to see him.
With some note cards and a phone in his hand, he sat down in the chair across from me.
"I'm the next to interview you," he said with a grin, flashing his perfect dimple my way.
"You're kidding me, right?" I looked up at the cameraman and pointed to Nate, "This guy is a teacher at my old high school, not a reporter," I explained.
"Yes, I'm a teacher, that is true. I'm also the special reporter for our local news station WBDH. They thought the interview would be better with someone who knew you way back when. I won the job," he said directly and to the point.
I looked at the cameraman, hoping he would rescue me, but he simply shrugged his shoulders.
"When you're ready," the cameraman said to Nate.
I shouted for Lily, but no one came to save me.
I didn't have time to panic or cause a scene. I would've looked like some kind of diva going out into the hallway in front of the other reporters and demanding Nate be thrown out.
I was really in a no-win situation.
I took a breath and glared at Nate. How dare he come into my own personal space and hijack my interview.
"Ready?" he asked me.
He looked down at his cards, like he actually wrote questions to ask me.
I stayed silent as he asked the first question.
"Can you tell me what, "Honestly," represents to you?"
"Are you kidding me?" I said, shaking my head as I leaned in and whispered to him, ""Do you think this is some kind of joke?"
"I told you in the email, I was going to tell you my side of the story," he said, following up with, "Did you really think I wasn't serious?"
Frustrated, I sat back in my chair and crossed my arms.
"Next question," I demanded.
"So, no comment on the first?" he reiterated.
I simply shook my head as he looked down at his notes.
"Tell me about your early days in North Carolina, what made you begin playing the guitar?" he asked, fully knowing the answer already.
I stared at Nate, his brown eyes stared back at me...I had enough.
"I'm sorry, do you mind if we have a minute alone?" I asked the cameraman who seemed a little caught off guard but obliged anyway.
When the door closed, Nate continued to stare at me.
"You should've just met me that night. I didn't want to do this," he said.
"Haven't you already done enough to me? Now, you're trying to screw with my career, with this little stunt, " I shook my head not knowing what else to say.
"You gave me no other choice. I'm here in Nashville until we talk," he declared.
"We just talked, so you can go back home now," I said motioning to the door.
"Nick, my parents got divorced," he admitted.
Before I could respond, Lily burst through the door.
"I am so sorry, I really didn't know. The cameraman just told me what was going on, and I..."Lily said before I interrupted.
"Can you just tell him to leave?" I pointed toward Nate.
"Can you just tell her that she can't get rid of me that easily?" he asked.
Lily's head was spinning from both questions.
Then, she finally focused on Nate.
"Please leave," she stated very simply.
Nate stood up.
"I just went to your house and apologized to your dad for not calling when your mother passed away. My mom was having a mental breakdown from the divorce. I was helping out with Jenna, it was a crazy time. I didn't even know until months later when I read an article online, " he said, staring directly into my eyes before he walked to the door.
There was a lot of information to unpack there, I needed time to process all of it. I just sat there unable to speak.
"You have my number, I'll be in town indefinitely," he declared.
He walked out and closed the door behind him as I rested my head back in the chair trying to absorb everything he said.
"This is becoming a situation," Lily said in her professional voice.
After the bizarre day was over, I arrived home to my father in the kitchen, cooking homemade sauce with fresh tomatoes from his own garden.
As I walked in, his back was to me as he stirred his creation with a wooden spoon over the gas cooktop.
"How did it go?" he asked, knowing I had a surprise visit from a particular ex-best friend.
"What did he say to you?"
I sat down on one of the counter stools as my dad turned to look at me.
"He said some stuff I already knew..."
"What do you mean?" I interrupted.
My dad became slightly uncomfortable and shrugged his shoulders.
"Your mom knew about the divorce," he admitted.
"Why didn't she tell me?"
"It was personal. Lynn was embarrassed and didn't want people to know. They reconnected, and your mom felt an obligation to keep her secret. I only knew because I overheard them on the phone one day."
"When did it happen?" I inquired.
"What do you mean?"
"When did Nate's parents break up?"
"The day after Nate graduated from high school. His father walked out on all of them and never came back," he confessed.
I sat still, unable to respond to my own father about his revelations about Nate and his family.
A pit developed in my stomach.
Things seemed so clear to me until right then when things seemed far from clear.