Some people have a strong sense of what's going on, some people can predict the future, some people have a strong intuition. No matter how hard you try to avoid something, it could seem almost unavoidable, in the end you succumbed to it.
Mateo stood a few feet away, as he watched the love of his life slip away.
He stood there unable to move, everything was moving in slow motion, Sasha flatlined, the sound was deafening, the sound of the machine echoed in his ear as he watched everyone else in the room scrambling to help her. Their babies were crying in the room, he knew it but he couldn't move, he couldn't stop staring at her.
"Time of death 1245am, 24th December 2019" the Dr announced. Mateo's heart dropped, as he fell to his knees and wept.
"Ho..How?"
"Why?" he questioned, the nurses helped him up to the chair as the Dr proceeded to explain. "Mr Parker, I'm so sorry for your loss. Sasha was struggling with preeclampsia during her pregnancy, when we first found out it was around week 20, and her blood pressure was elevated, that being said, thus putting her on bed rest. This has been a rare case Mr Parker, I'm sorry she had a cardiac arrest" Dr Eliza paused, "Here" handing him a letter, "this letter is from Sasha, she passed it to me in the emergency room, in the event of anything, she said I should pass it to you. I'll contact a grief counsellor to meet you up here shortly".
Mateo sat unmoving, clutching the letter Sasha gave staring at her lifeless body. He could hear mami's scream from the outside, he could hear his babies, but he couldn't take his eyes away from her. He stood up and made his way towards her, her body was cold, her eyes were closed, as if she's asleep, she's still so beautiful, he kissed her forehead and wept.
"I will always love you mi amor".
***
3 days had passed, 3 horribly agonizing days. Today's 27th of December, Sasha's birthday, and the day of her funeral. Mateo barely slept, he couldn't take care of his babies, he could barely take care of himself, he was a total wreck. Mami and Pedro took care of Mateo and the babies, everyone was a wreck but the babies held importance. Mateo changed the names of the babies, in remembrance of Sasha.
The letter that was passed to him, he read it that night. It was something completely unexpected.
Mateo,
If you received this letter, it means that I didn't survive this. I'm sorry, I'm sorry if you had to watch me die. There's a lot that I would like to say and in due time you will find out more, but as of now I've made all arrangements with my lawyers, after my funeral, someone named Linda would get in contact with you, she is my lawyer and also my will executor. There is so much that I want to say, so much that I want to share, but I can't. I'm simply sorry for everything that I've put you through. Please take care of our babies, I know you would make a wonderful father, my babies, our babies are the biggest blessing. I wrote this letter 2 weeks before my due date, my gut was telling me I should. It's a little awkward for me, but I needed to do it. Thank you for making me happy in the short amount of time, you'll be a great dad, and don't doubt yourself, Mateo, I know it's probably too late.
I love you and always will.
Take care of yourself and our babies.
Forever in love with you,
Sasha Annabelle Carter
***
As the funeral started, Mateo was carrying Tessa cradling her, as Pedro carried Talia, it was a gloomy day, the Pastor started the service as people started rolling in, soon it was filled, some people were standing up, Mateo didn't know that Sasha knew so many and impacted so many. Michela's entire family showed up, Michela had an important photoshoot but she cancelled, so that she could attend her best friend's funeral. When Clay got the news, he didn't believe it, no one would. Mr & Mrs Carter were informed by the hospital, mami called them to make arrangements for them to come, but Mrs Carter said that she had already arrived in Bali and it was a hassle for her to come back just for a funeral, Mr Carter sent a bouquet of sunflowers. Needless to say, Mami cursed the hell out of the both of them in both languages.
"Now is the time of the eulogy, Mrs Parker, would you like to go first?" the Pastor asked, mami nodded and walked towards the podium.
"Sasha, you're an angel, you're like my second daughter. I'm sad to see you go so young. I love you with all my heart mija. The day Clay came back with you, I was having one of the worst days, I just had a fight with my husband, and I was feeling upset, then you came in, you saw that I was crying in my kitchen, not knowing me, you hugged me. That was the day I discovered you had the warmest hug, you were merely 14 years old, but you acted so mature. I watched you grow and become this amazing woman who was fearless, I watched you become a mother, but before you could have time with your babies, you're gone. Your daughters have no mother now, how I wish I could turn back the clock to hold you just a little bit longer mija. I've lost my daughter, you're not biologically mine, but you are mine. The day that Clay brought you home, was the day that our lives changed, the entire Parker family changed, Emily gained a big sister, Clay gained a best friend and a sister, Pedro came back more, because you were always around and he enjoyed being with his best friend, and Mateo met the love of his life" she paused wiping her tears.
"Sasha, I know you didn't have the greatest childhood, you've been passed around living in neighbor houses since you were 5, your biological parents were never around, and you ended up going to your friend's house for food and shelter, you've had it rough, then as you aged, your first boyfriend was abusive and you almost died, most of your life you had it rougher than some, I will always feel guilty that I didn't find you any sooner, I always carried the guilt of not being there for you, but no matter what, you always had a huge smile on your face, you often hide your feelings shield them away in a box, not wanting people to have a peak at it, but what I've found the most amazing thing is that you always manage to find a way to help someone in need. Sasha, there's nothing more I could say, no words could describe what a wonderful person you are mija. I love you and always will. Te quiero mucho mija" the sound of mami wailing echoed through the church.
"Mateo, would you like to say a few words?" the Pastor asked, Mateo nodded and took his place at the podium, Mateo did not prepare any speech, he needed to say what is on his heart.
"Sasha, I couldn't prepare a speech for you, nothing I say would do you any justice. Mi amor, there's no words to describe how saddened I am, there's no words that I could say. I watched you give birth to our beautiful babies, then I watched you slowly slip away. I feel guilty that I wasn't able to save you, I feel guilty everyday for being alive with our beautiful princesses, I would trade places with you in a heartbeat. Our babies would grow up not knowing you, not having you there with them during their first day of kindergarten, recitals, graduation, weddings and every other event, this isn't fair, they need you, I need you. But we shall not be selfish, God called you home, you are now an angel watching over us, you're in a better place now. Sasha, we've discussed the names of our babies, but I made changes that night, I could not bear seeing them not having much connection to you, mi amor, their names are now Talia Rose Sasha Parker and Tessa Emerlyn Annabelle Parker, now they carry your names with them" Mateo paused to look at his two beautiful sleeping babies.
"Mi amor, the first day I ever met you or rather spoke to you, was the day that I vowed to myself that I would change my ways and one day make you my wife. I've failed, I've failed because I should've fought harder to be with you, I should've stayed that night, I shouldn't run away, I could've spent the time we spent apart, the 7 months, I could've spent at least an additional 7 months with you. 7 months of my stupidity I will never be able to get back. I should've told you how I felt all along, I should've proposed earlier, now you are my fiance, but we are never able to get married, I've failed mi amor. This time, I promise to take care of our beautiful babies, I promise to spoil them and love them like how you should've been spoilt and loved. I loved you so much for so long and I will continue to love you for the rest of my life. Mi amor, your smile radiates and your presence always brightens up a dull room. Mi amor, I will never have a wedding day with you, I will never be able to see you in your white dress, I will never be able to see you walking down the aisle, I would never be able to bring you on our honeymoon" Mateo sobbed loudly as he paused.
"Sasha despite all that, I wrote my vows for our wedding day before I proposed, yes it was presumptuous of me, but I have loved you for a long time Sash" he took out a piece of paper from his pocket and unfold it as he wept.
"Sasha, the first day we met, you rolled your beautiful grey eyes at me. This 17 year old sassy girl sat in ma's kitchen, not giving a damn about me. You are a breath of fresh air, you humble me. That's the day I fell in love, a year later I bought an engagement ring, I kept that ring and brought it everywhere I went, we weren't even together, we were both young, but one thing for certain is my love for you. Sasha, mi amor, my love for you runs deep and it would always be overflowing, I promise to cherish you, I promise to take care of our babies, I promise to love you, to respect you, and care for you all the days of my life. In sickness and in health for eternity. Now that you're gone, I promise to cherish you in my memories, I promise to love our daughters, I promise to protect them, and most important of all I promise to tell them everything about you. You would've been a wonderful mother. Sasha, you are it for me, there isn't anyone else, my heart belongs to you and only you. Por siempre y para siempre, I love you so very much mi amor" Mateo ended.
The service continued with Michela, Pablo, Samuel, Pedro, Adonis and a few others deciding to speak. It was a beautiful service, everyone had felt a deep connection with Sasha, she changed people's life for the better and she is surely missed. Mateo bought her burial plot, and the plot next to hers, he wanted to be buried with her, the entire Parker family broke down as they lowered the casket.
In loving memory of
Sasha Annabelle Parker
Mother & Fiancee
27 December 1994 - 24 December 2019
You have touched the lives of everyone you've met, the world isn't the same without you.
We miss you and we love you with every fibre of our body.