chapter 2
— testing the limits
{ 1x02 - The First Cut is the Deepest }
{ 1x09 - Who's Zoomin' Who? }
„It's all about lines. The finish line at the end of residency, waiting in line for a chance at the operating table, and then, there's the most important line. The line separating you from the people you work with. It doesn't help to get too familiar. To make friends. You need boundaries between you and the rest of the world. Other people are far too messy. It's all about lines. Drawing lines in the sand, and praying like hell no one crosses them."
„Why do you put up posters for roommates if you don't want roommates?", Izzie asked Meredith, as they stood at the nurse station waiting for Bailey.
Meredith shrugged. „I do want roommates, we're together a hundred hours a week, you want to live together too?"
„No. Ooh, you're bringing bribes now?" Christina spoke referring to the coffee in Merediths hands.
„I need a place to live. My mom irons my scrubs. I have to get out of there.", George begged, making Meredith look at him in pity.
„It's not a bribe, I don't think it's a good idea."
„But I can put down last, first and deposit.", he tried again.
„It's totally a bribe.", Christina said unfazed by her coworkers begs.
„I can cook. And I'm an obsessive cleaner.", now it was Izzies turn to beg for the place.
Meredith shook her head. „No. I just want two total strangers who I don't have to talk to, or be nice to, and it's not a bribe, it's a mocha latte."
Bailey came to them, and went on the stairs, to make herself look taller. „George, you're running the code team, Meredith, take the trauma patients, Cristina, deliver the weekend labs to the patients, Izzie, you're on sutures. And can somebody tell me where Ruby is? She is never late."
„Dr Bailey. I was hoping to assist you in the OR today, maybe do a minor procedure? I think I'm ready. Mocha latte?", Meredith smiled at her and handed her the latte, but thinking about Ruby.
„If she gets to cut, I want to cut too.", Christina cut in.
„Yeah, me too.", Izzie urged in and smiled at Bailey.
„I wouldn't mind another shot, I mean if everybody else is...", George was still eating an apple.
„Stop talking. Every intern wants to perform their first surgery, that's not your job. Do you know what your job is? To make your resident happy. Do I look happy? No. Why? Because my interns are whining. You know what will make me look happy? Having the code team staffed, having the trauma patients answered, having the weekend labs delivered, and having someone down in the Pit, doing the sutures. No one holds a scalpel until I'm so happy I'm Mary freakin' Poppins. And find Ruby for gods sake.", she got on the stairs and took the mocha latte. But also Bailey was thinking of Ruby Moore.
„Mocha latte my ass.", Christina whispered to them.
„Why're y'all standing there? Move!", she wandered of, shaking her head in annoyance.
*
Yesterday was a hard day for all of the interns. Ruby was ill at home and didn't feel like coming to the hospital. The others had a rape victim. She bit off the penis of the raper. She also wore the same shoes Ruby had and that's what made Derek and her friends freak out. They tried to call Ruby multiple times but she didn't answer. He went to his flat only to find out that Ruby wasn't there. The thing he didn't knew was that Ruby was living at Merediths house, as she moved in this day due to her illness and not going to work. Ruby was peacefully asleep as all 3 interns (minus Cristina) crashed in her room.
„We were worried sick about you."
„Don't ever do that again."
„I told ya she was here."
„Ruby, you're okay."
But Ruby just rolled her eyes and went back to sleep.
*
Waking up with loud voices in the hallway, wasn't what Ruby imagined. She got out of her bed and dressed in some comfortable clothes. Ruby always brushed her teeth after breakfast which wasn't the best habit but she sticked to it. Ruby opened her dark brown door just to be met by George, Izzie, Meredith and Derek, who stayed here again for the night.
„This sounds like fun out here.", Ruby said watching George who ran to his room and shut the door loudly. Her eyes were on Dereks ringing phone, signaling him to answer it which he didn't. She knew who was on the phone and she completely understood him. The lying to Meredith though wasn't what she wished to do, but Ruby hat no other choice.
„Aren't you gonna get that? It might be the hospital.", Meredith asked confused.
Derek shook his head. „It's not. Breakfast?"
He took Merediths hand and walked downstairs, just to look behind him to see Ruby staring at him with a frown on her face.
*
Rubys first task this morning was watching and assisting Dr. Webber and Dr. Bailey on a surgery. He seemed a little bit unconcentrated and gloomy. Ruby didnt say anything though because she saw Derek in the gallery watching them all. She sighed in her mask and Bailey shot her a annoyed look. Ruby studied Webbers sutures and noticed his shaking hands and how he squinted his eyes. It was something that only people do who have a issue with their brain. She made a note mentally to ask Derek about it afterwards.
"There's too much damage. We'll have to remove most of the colon instead of a local resection.", Webber groaned and tried to stitch the colon up but he could not seem to do it.
"You gotta push it up."
He tried and missed again.
"More suture. And what's with these damn lights in here.", Ruby readjusted the lights in the OR and looked at Derek who seemed to have the same thoughts like her.
"Retract here.", Webber said his voice becoming louder because of his frustration. Ruby took a deep breath and her eyes wandered to Derek. He had a note book in his hands and watched Webbers surgery.
"Oh! This just isn't holding.", Bailey spoke trying to make the situation a bit lighter, but she failed. Ruby still smiled a little bit at her attempt.
"Give me a bigger retractor, please.", he said, holding out his hand to the scrub nurse. But he couldn't hold it.
"Sorry, doctor.", the nurse apologized to him.
"It wasn't you. Dr. Bailey, you can finish this.", the Chief suddenly stated, wanting to leave the OR.
Bailey looked at him, not understanding his sudden actions. "Uh, thank you, chief. I appreciate the opportunity. I'll just..."
"Well, that was weird, wasn't it?"
*
The interns entered Joeys. It was full. People were chatting, laughing and of course drinking. Ruby felt her mood go up as she spotted Alex and George already sitting in a booth. She grabbed Izzies and Christians arms and dragged them through the mass. The air was tight and the room was loud. Two things Ruby did not enjoy. But for her friends sake, she just closed her eyes for a moment and pulled out a cigarette.
"Georgie, get a clue. Syphilis is the best thing that ever happened to you. In their eyes, you're a player.", Alex tried to lighten the situation und George still had a weird look on his face. He didn't wanted to be known as a player, that's not what he was. Ruby shot him an apologized look.
"Hey, syph-boy.", Christina laughed, earning a look from Ruby. Christina just blew her a kiss.
George was ashamed. "You told her?"
"Just Cristina."
*
After finishing off Webbers surgery, Derek looked at him while taking off his hand lamp. "Ok, I've sutured the drain in place. The staples look fine. All right, we're done here. Dr. Bailey, you want to wrap him?"
"I got it.", Bailey muttered.
"Nice work, everybody. Nicely done.", Derek thanked everyone and then whispered to Ruby. "Can we talk after work?"
"Is everything okay?", Ruby looked at him perplexed. He just nodded. Weird, she thought, what could possibly make Derek Shepherd so anxious.
"Thanks.", Meredith looked at Richard a bit concerned. "Do you think the optic nerve is damaged?"
"If it is, when he wakes up, he'll...", Bailey shared the same look as her, while handing Ruby the chart.
The brunette surgeon cut her off. "He'll be blind? For how long?"
"Forever. Page Stevens and Yang, Grey. Tell them I want them covering your patients. I need you to stay and monitor the chief. Ruby you can go.", and Ruby didn't let her say it twice.
As she left the OR, she heard an angry Bailey. Oh, she thought, that doesn't sounded good. But she had more important plans than to listen to Bailey scolding Meredith.
*
Patiently waiting in the lobby, Derek spotted his best friend. Ruby was already in her normal clothes. She wore black jeans, some white sneakers and a leather jacket. "Nice outfit", he commented, wanting to distract from the obvious. Ruby rolled her eyes at him.
"Shut up, Der. I want to know what's up with you today, you've been acting kinda weird and I hope it doesn't have to do something with her.", but for Rubys luck it had everything to do with her.
Derek didn't look her in the eyes. „Addisons been calling me. I want to tell Meredith."
Rubys brown eyes looked at him in pure horror. Her stomach dropped and she could feel the tight air around them. „You don't think that she will come here, right?"
He didn't answer.
"Right?", she asked again, hoping for a no. It has been hard lying to Meredith everyday and not telling her about Addison and Derek. But it wasn't her story to tell. It was his and oh boy, she wished that the burden wouldn't be on his shoulders.
Before he could say anything, Meredith came down the stairs, walking up to the pair. Ruby pulled out a cigarette. She for sure could not handle that drama without nicotine.
"Again, Ruby? I thought George took them and threw them away?", Meredith scolded her like an older sister would to. Ruby just rolled her eyes.
"Do you actually think that he stole all of my cigarettes? Please, Mer, I am not dumb.", she in fact kept a reserve in her locker. She knew they just wanted to help her and she appreciated it but the cigarettes had a feeling of home.
"Long day?", Derek perched in, ignoring Ruby and Meredith encounter.
"Yeah.", both surgeons nodded. It was in fact a long day and Ruby just wished that she was in her bed.
"Somewhere out this is a steak with your name on it and maybe a bottle of wine.", he said, looking lovingly at Meredith.
"I feel like a teenager again, watching my parents flirt. Stop.", Ruby said, gagging a little bit.
Derek helped, fixing the blondes coat and the three turned to leave. As they made their way to the exit, a red haired woman stomped in the hospital. Rubys hands went sweaty as she looked at Derek a scared look in her eyes. And Ruby Moore wasn't scared of anything. But that woman made her feel like a little kid again, not in a good way.
"Meredith, I am so sorry.", Derek turned to Meredith, an apologetic look on his face. Meredith blinked a few times, obviously confused.
"Addison. What are you doing here?", he tried to remain calm, but you could tell that he was incredibly pissed. Ruby hat the same expression. Her nails dug into her hand as she made a fist.
"Well, you'd know if you'd bothered to return any one of my phone calls.", she spoke with such an ease. Of course he won't return your calls, he left, Ruby thought. She wanted to say something but this wasn't about her.
"Hi. I'm Addison Shepherd.", she introduced herself to Meredith, who then darted her eyes to Ruby, clearly not understanding. "Ah, Ruby, nice to see you again too."
But Ruby just stared back at her a furious expression on her face. Her eyebrows were scrunched, making her brown eyes smaller.
"Shepherd?", Meredith asked, still confused. Ruby sighed deeply. That is not good. She put her hand on Mers shoulder attempting to relax her a little bit.
"And you must be the woman who's been screwing my husband."
*