"You may have won this battle, comrade...but you'll never win the war..."
Pointing to my watering eyes first, I then turned my fingers towards the vibrant portrait of Lord Diavolo, slowly backing away. It had me beat, thirty six to nil, but luck had to shine down on my one of these days.
"Are you done?" When I spun around, I didn't expect to nearly faceplant into a chest, and I pushed back against it quickly, sighing once I realised it was Leviathan.
"Dude, you scared me! Yep, I'm done. Lost, but it's only a matter of time. I'll win one of these days."
He thought I was insane, that much was obvious, but he still chose to grab me by the sleeve, glancing around the room nervously before beginning to drag me off.
"I need to talk to you, so hurry up! Can't let anyone see me talking to the likes of you, Normie!"
Confused, but seeing no real reason to be concerned, I allowed him to drag me off to his room, and once we were inside, I broke free and smooshed my face up against his humongous fish tank.
"Woah! Man, it's like an aquarium in here! Are you secretly Ariel or some shit?!"
Growling under his breath, Leviathan yanked me away from the glass by the scruff, using his sleeve to wipe away the marks I had made.
"Don't touch anything! You're only in here because I need you to do something for me!" Still mesmerized by the rippling water, I nodded slowly, lending him my ear, but not my visual attention.
"Sure, lay it on me..." His sigh was more like a scoff, and he frustratedly began tinkering with his DDD before the screen was shoved in front of my face.
"Mammon stole this from me! I need it back, and considering he's your babysitter, you have the best chance!"
It took a good while for my eyes to adjust, but once they had, I realised I was staring at some kind of loli anime figurine.
"So...you're a weeb, huh? Didn't know demons liked anime..." I hummed, using a single finger to knock the phone away from my face. "So, he stole this toy from you and you want him to give it back, right?"
Pocketing his device, he scowled at me, and I began to feel just a teensie bit nervous. He was a demon, after all, albeit an otaku.
"Figurine! Of course we like anime! I like anime! He didn't exactly steal it, but it should have been mine! He won it and wouldn't give it to me! He doesn't have a clue how important she is, and he's probably abusing my precious Ruri-Chan!"
Wow, tone it down, buddy, it's mass produced plastic...
Taking a step back, I chose to focus on the jellyfish lights hanging from his ceiling, over a poorly placed clawfoot tub. I had a lot of questions about his decor.
"Well, I'd love to help you out, but Mammon kind of hates my entire guts...so you'd have a better chance than me..." I explained, rocking on my heels.
"He owes me money, too! I know he doesn't like you, obviously, but I have a plan. It's flawless." He had certainly peaked my curiosity, so I gave him a vague gesture to continue, still busying myself by looking around. "All you'll have to do is get him to make a pact with you, then boom, I get my money back, and my darling Ruri-Chan!"
It was safe to say that I had no idea what he was going on about, and I blinked at him like a dazed infant.
"A pact? Come again? Is that like, selling my soul or something?" He didn't spare any details in his long-winded explanation, and I just stood there, zoning in and out until he finally finished.
"So? You'll do it, right?"
It sounds like an awful lot of trouble to go through for someone who basically nearly poisoned me...
Popping my lips, I considered it for a brief moment, sticking one hand into my pocket.
"How much does he owe you, anyway?" The boy seemed like he was in a rush, and my question only seemed to annoy him further.
"One thousand six hundred grimm. Why?"
Blowing a raspberry in his general direction, I pulled out my new wallet, which Scrit had offered me as a bonus. Pulling out the exact amount, I held it out to him in offering.
"I don't really feel like tricking anyone into whatever that is. Just take this. As for Rigby-Clam, or whatever her name is, I guess I can try to mention it to him, but he doesn't really like listening to me."
Handling my cash like it was poison, Leviathan stared at me, looking like he wanted to chew me up and spit me out into the trash.
"Ruri-Chan. It's Ruri-Chan." He muttered, shoving the grimm into his pocket. "Whatever. I should have known a human like you would waste my time. Now, get out of my room. I've gotta live stream in ten..."
It was frustrating that he hadn't thanked me for paying off Mammon's debt, but I didn't dare say it. Instead, I just allowed him to usher me out of his room, slightly flinching when the door slammed behind me.
Well, demons aren't supposed to be super friendly, I guess...Still, that was most of my savings. It'll take longer to pay Mammon back for the uniform now...
Not wanting to bore myself to death with more homework, I decided to waltz on over to the kitchen, finding Mammon and, unsurprisingly, Beelzebub.
"You can't keep eating all the ingredients, Beel!" The platinum haired demon scolded, smacking at his brother with a tea towel. "This is why we always have to order in when it's your turn to cook! My pockets can't handle that every week!"
I couldn't help but giggle as I witnessed the exchange, and Beelzebub just munching away without a care made it that much funnier to me. The ginger noticed my presence, nodding his head once.
"Yo, (Y/N)." Mammon turned to acknowledge me, too, but didn't say anything, just kinda glaring.
"I'm procrastinating at the moment, so want me to take the reigns?" I asked, already reaching for the recipe book the pair had sitting upon the bench.
"Do you ever just, I dunno, relax?" Mammon quirked a brow, again looking at me like I was otherworldly, which I guess I kind of was to him.
"Nah, if I sit around with nothing to do I start thinking, and that's just asking for trouble." I replied truthfully, relieved to see that the meal for the night didn't involve any parasites.
"It's crispy fried angler fish." Beelzebub stated, having to wipe the drool from his mouth.
Humming to myself, I pulled the chopping board away from him, kind of glad that he had already done most of the work taking the bones out and chopping it up. There was a fair bit missing, but hey, he tried.
"Creepy lightbulb fish? Righto, then! Uh, Mammon, could you..." I trailed off, recalling that he hadn't even wanted to help me serve up the last time. "On second thought, nevermind. I'll finish this up, then whip up some sauce and salad before throwing it on to cook."
The click of the refrigerator door caught my ear, and when I looked up, Mammon was rummaging around in the crisper, sunglasses lifted to sit on top of his head.
"I'll deal with the salad. Just do your thing and keep that glutton from scarfing all the ingredients..."
Well, this is a pleasant surprise...
It was easier said than done. Beelzebub truly lived up to the sin he claimed, trying everything in his power to sneak food without us knowing. Eventually, I decided that enough was enough, and grabbed out a tub of cherry tomatoes, beginning to periodically toss them into his hungry mouth.
Mammon joined in, and it became a game, which lead to smooth sailing for the rest of the meal prep and cooking.
"Okay, everything looks good here!" I cheered, leaning against the bench and wiping a little bit of crumbing batter from my cheek. "If you guys wanna call your brothers down, we can dig in!"
Mammon already had his DDD to his ear, starting to pace across the length of the kitchen.
"On it. I'm starved." I felt like we had done a good job, and I was glad that my supposed babysitter seemed to be warming up, just a little. Things would be a heck of a lot easier if we became friends, but I knew that was wishful thinking.
"I like your cooking." Beelzebub pulled me from my thoughts, and I had to stifle a laugh as I saw him licking the raw crumbing leftovers clean.
"Thanks, it's kind of theraputic. You guys eat some weird shit in my opinion, but I'm happy to whip stuff up for you whenever."
Eyes glimmering, the ginger set down the bowl and tilted his head, staring at me as though I had just said something incredibly wise.
"You mean it?" He leaned across the table, and I nodded, kind of confused as to what he was getting at.
"I mean, yeah? If I'm not tangled up in work or other stuff, then why not? I make a mean muffin. It's fun learning new recipes, anyway." When he took my hand, my braincell glitched out, and all I could do was stare at him like a moron once he said those three words.
"Pact with me."
"HAH?!" Mammon, who had obviously heard our exchange, dropped his DDD to the ground and rushed over, flailing his arms about like a caffeinated octopus. "Did you just say what I think you just said?!" Giving a firm nod, Beelzebub kept hold of my hand, using his other to point towards the food.
"She's the perfect person to pact with. I get food, and she gets use of my strength. So, you wanna pact?" Quickly, I rushed through what Leviathan had explained in my mind, trying to weigh the pros and cons, but it was all hazy. Honestly, I was just excited that it was basically an offer of friendship and trust.
"S..sure! Yes! Totally! Wait, do I have to, like, trade my soul or blood or anything? I mean, it's no big deal, but I'd like to know what it entails so I'm not caught by surprise-" Excitedly rambling, I completely ignored Mammon, who was beginning to fume.
"Hold the fucking phone! First of all, no big deal?! Are you insane?! Second of all, you're both insane! You can't just up and make a pact with her, Beel!"
Beelzebub shrugged him off, finally releasing my hand in favour of scooping the raw, crumby egg whites we had spare.
"I can if I want. Why? Did you want to pact with her?" Sputtering and cursing, Mammon threw his arms into the air and snapped his glare back and forth between us.
"N..no! Why would I make a pact with her?! You saying I'm jealous?! I ain't jealous! You're jealous!" He scoffed, smacking his hands on the table. "As the official human sitter, I forbid it!" He sure seemed mad about it, and the shit-stirrer within me sprung to life. Turning back to Beelzebub, completely brushing off anything Mammon had said, I smiled.
"So, how does this work, then?" It was a double whammy for poor Mammon, who was being ignored by not one, but two people. Beelzebub placed a hand to his chest, and straightened his back, still chewing.
"I, Beelzebub, Avatar of Gluttony, hereby offer my-"
"Beel, I swear to the love of fuck..!"
"-life and my blood to you, for all eternity."
Out of nowhere, I felt a heat surge between us. It wasn't burning, but it was hot enough to feel a shift, and that was it. Beelzebub returned to picking at leftovers as Mammon spun on his heel, screeching and pulling at his hair.
"Why do I even bother?! Nobody listens to me?! Am I chopped shadow hog liver?! I'm done!"
I watched him storm out of the kitchen, and snorted quietly to myself. His reaction had been amusing, but completely unexpected. Who knew it would get under his collar? Eventually, I managed to tear Beelzebub away from the scraps and get him to help me cart out everybody's food, and we sat down to join them in the dining room.
Things were quiet, for a while, until Lucifer pointed his fork towards his agitated younger brother.
"Mammon, unless you want your meal to go cold, I'd suggest you quit your grumbling and eat." Mammon scrunched his nose and took a very aggressive bite of angler fish, glaring daggers at Beelzebub, who was already digging into his thirds.
"I ain't grumbling...I'm insulted by the lack of respect I get from my brothers! I told Beel specifically to not pact with the dumb human, and what did he do?! He made a pact with her!" Oh, I felt every pair of eyes on me once that was out in the open, but I tried to ignore it, continuing to pick at my teeth with a fish bone.
"Wait, seriously? Did you for real pact with (Y/N)?" Asmodeus was all over the tea, chair scraping against the floor as he stood up. Beelzebub nodded, mouth too full to verbally respond. Instead, he just pointed to his place, then proceeded to rub my head with his greasy hands.
"Well, I certainly didn't see that coming..." Satan murmured, catching my eye as I stared to look up.
"That makes two of us..." Leviathan added, taking a sip of his water as he glanced to the eldest, no doubt waiting for something. Lucifer stared at us for the longest while, his critical eyes making me feel heavy.
Boy, demons really do like to glare...
"That's their business, Mammon. Perhaps if you took your duties seriously it could have been avoided. You're the only one who seems to be annoyed by it, so shut your mouth and eat, otherwise go away." I was certain my chair creaked when I relaxed, muffling my sigh by shoving a lettuce leaf into my gob.
Mammon muttered under his breath, hunching over his plate and stabbing at his fish repeatedly. I didn't get why he was so shitty about it. All it seemed to be was a friendly bond, right? Did he secretly want to be my bff? Was he just mad that Beelzebub hadn't done what he had said?
Oh well, at least I have one friend down here. Maybe he'll come around eventually..?
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***Is this a wholeass mess? Yes.
Do I want Satan and Lucifer to punch me in the throat one after the other? Also yes.
Next Time: Mr. Magic Man and...is that a rat?***