remember that i put together a soundtrack for this story. you should be able to find it on spotify by just searching 'lunacy and other fairytales'
~
Jimin has texted Taehyung several locations where Yoongi might be. Somewhere near the café, a park he used to go to with Seokjin, the campus, a bar they went to before the accident, Seokjin's memorial, several of the many bridges across the Han river. It's useless; even though it's in the middle of the week and past 3am already, the streets are packed with cars and people. Taehyung sighs when he plops back down on the passenger seat after checking the bar.
"He isn't there," he says and Jeongguk starts the engine, "They're closing now anyway."
"Want to check the bridges? I think the river is the closest," Jeongguk says. Taehyung shakes his head, reading through the list again.
"No, that won't help us... it'll take us forever to get from one location to the next. Anything could happen during that time." He leans his head back against the headrest with another loud sigh. "We won't find him. It's hopeless."
"Well, we can't just give up," Jeongguk says and turns left into a street that leads down to the river, "Did you hear anything from Jimin?"
"No, not yet..." Taehyung locks his phone and drops it on his lap. "The city is crowded. If Yoongi hyung were to do anything, then it wouldn't be right here. That just doesn't make any sense..." He tries to think even harder. A dull headache makes itself noticeable in his frontal lobe. He lets his head drop against the window and watches the blinding city lights pass by.
"What are you thinking?" Jeongguk asks. Taehyung narrows his eyes.
"This doesn't make any sense..." he mumbles.
Yoongi wouldn't want other people to realize what he was going to do. He wouldn't do anything near people who could stop him. All the locations on the list are just places in the city where he would be easily accessible. If Yoongi is going to do something, then it'll be in secret and away from everyone else.
"Maybe he just went into the middle of the forest..." Taehyung wonders, but even that seems implausible. Jeongguk glances at him.
"Just... some random place?" he asks, and the doubt in his voice makes Taehyung listen up.
"What do you mean?"
"Well..." Jeongguk clears his throat, suddenly seeming a bit uncomfortable. "If Yoongi imagines these... things, they're just part of his own consciousness, right? They're part of his mind."
Taehyung squints his eyes at him, not quite following. Jeongguk drags his tongue along the inside of his lip.
"Look, if these creatures that he imagines tell him to... end it all... then wouldn't it make sense that it would happen at a place that holds some sort of significance to him? Like... this is all part of his consciousness. Only his imagination, right? If his mind is capable of something like that, something that makes his suicide almost ritual, why would it just happen somewhere?"
At first, Taehyung is too taken aback to realize the meaning of Jeongguk's words. He even opens his mouth to protest because no, it's not just part of Yoongi's imagination, he knows better than that after all — but then it hits him.
His eyes widen.
"Jeongguk," he breathes, "Baby, you're a genius."
Jeongguk frowns. "Well, I wouldn't say that—"
"Pull over!"
Jeongguk does, in a little alleyway a bit away from all the people and the lights. Taehyung immediately dials Jimin's number, not even attempting to explain anything yet.
"Taehyung?" Jimin replies after a few seconds, a hopeful undertone to his voice, "Did you find him?"
"I think I know where he might be," Taehyung blurts out, "Quick, do you still know where the accident happened?" And when Jimin doesn't immediately reply, he adds, "The crash site, where was it?"
"The crash site? Yes, yes — of course I remember. Do you think he might be there?"
"Perhaps," Taehyung says, "It's the only thing that makes sense. We have to try, it's our only chance."
Jimin thinks for a few moments.
"It kind of makes sense," he then quietly says, "It could work."
"Text me the directions," Taehyung says and hangs up.
Jeongguk's confused gaze rest on him.
"What the fuck?" he asks, "Really? The crash site?"
"It's in a little forest area out of town," Taehyung tells him, "If there is a place that holds memories — here, we have to get on the 100 and then leave before Uijeongbu."
Jeongguk starts the car again and drives down the street.
"If there is a place that holds memories," Taehyung starts over again, "Then it must be the crash site. It's where everything started. The cause for all of this. The reason why Yoongi feels like he has to do this."
"It all comes full circle," Jeongguk concludes.
"It makes sense," Taehyung agrees, "It's the place that's furthest away from the city that still holds a memory."
"So, you think he went there?" Jeongguk slowly asks. Taehyung stares at the road for a while.
"He feels guilty because of Seokjin's death. He thinks it's his fault and that he should have been the one to die instead," he says instead on replying right away, "The crash site is the last place he saw Seokjin. Plus, it's hidden in the forest. No one would find him there unless they were looking for him. I think if he went anywhere, it would be that spot."
The more he thinks about it, the more sense it makes. Even Jeongguk looks convinced. He takes a turn, then drives onto the ring expressway.
"Okay," he says, "Then let's check, shall we?"
Jimin is already waiting for them once they arrive. He is walking back and forth in front of his car and immediately approaches them when they come to a halt. There is a cross right at the edge of the forest, a reminder of what happened here all these months ago; a lonely, red candle flickers in the wind. Taehyung leaves the car and pulls Jimin into a tight hug.
"It's going to be okay, we're going to find him," he says when Jimin trembles in his arms. Jeongguk hands him one of the flashlights they brought with them.
"What if — what if it's too late? Taehyung, he's been gone for hours!" Jimin cries, looking up at Taehyung with his tearstained face. "I just want him in my arms again, I just want him to be safe — God, this can't be happening..." Jimin takes a step back and squats down, hiding his face behind his hands. Taehyung throws Jeongguk a conflicted glance. They can't lose any more time.
"Jimin, look at me," he whispers and lowers himself to the ground next to him, "Hey, I promise you, we're going to find him, okay? But we have to start looking now. Hey, calm down, please..."
Jimin hiccups and raises his head.
"Why do I always have to be scared of losing him?" he whispers. Taehyung's heart shatters in his chest. He stares at Jimin as a dull ache rises in his throat.
"I don't know," he says equally as quiet, "But we're going to find him and we're going to help him, okay?"
Jimin holds his gaze for a few beats, then he nods and finally gets up again. Taehyung forces himself to breathe through deeply. He steps next to Jeongguk who is standing by the edge of the wood, staring into the abyss-like darkness in front of them.
"What now?" he asks quietly. Taehyung feels the wind cool his skin. The sight of the darkness is draining.
"Now we just search," he says and feels as if his words are carried away by the wind.
It's anything but easy. Jeongguk searches the area to their right and Jimin sticks to the middle as the only flashlight he has is the one that is attached to his phone. Taehyung searches the left side, unsure of what that even entails. The forest seems to have no beginning, no end. He checks behind bushes, in little burrows that Yoongi wouldn't even fit into, shines up to the treetops only to be blinded by his own light. The sight of the black trees above him and the dark night sky peeking through between them sends shivers down his spine. Every now and then, he hears Jimin calling out for Yoongi, and with every new shout his voice grows more desperate, more tearful.
Taehyung knows their time is running out, and the others are aware, too. About fifteen minutes pass that feel like hours and they haven't found anything.
"Yoongi!" Jimin calls again, his voice echoing through the forest. He is so far away from Taehyung that he can hardly see his light anymore. He spots a tree that has fallen over; a huge beech. The roots are gigantic, even taller than Taehyung. He approaches it.
"Hyung!"
The greenery covering the ground make him sink to his ankles with every step. Luckily he is wearing boots, but walking is still hard.
"Yoongi!"
When Taehyung peeks around the root, the first thing he sees is a knife pointed at him. He lets out an involuntary yelp and takes a step back.
Then, he looks up and sees a wide-eyed Yoongi staring right back at him, breathing frantically. He holds the knife with both hands and is shaking vigorously. When Taehyung opens his mouth, perhaps to scream, or maybe just to call the others, he doesn't even know himself, he shakes his head and lifts his index to his own mouth.
"Please, don't," he whispers and slowly pushes Taehyung's flashlight down until it's pointed at the ground. Taehyung is still unable to move; his heart beats as fast as if he had just run a marathon.
"Yoongi," he hisses, "What—"
"Bring Jimin away from here," Yoongi interrupts him, tears streaming down his face. The darkness makes him look even more sickly pale; he grimaces with every new sob that overcomes him and that he has to suppress. "Please, please Taehyung, take Jimin home. He shouldn't be here, he shouldn't see this. He can't be here."
"See what?" Taehyung asks, shaking his head and trying to step closer, "Yoongi, what are you talking about?"
Yoongi backs away and then flinches violently. He looks around with huge, terrified eyes.
"They're here," he whispers, "They're hunting me. They brought me here to end it all. It's happening, Taehyung."
It's happening. The end is happening.
Taehyung feels his own bottom lip tremble. He shakes his head.
"No," he says louder than intended, "Yoongi, listen to me. It doesn't have to be like this. We can help you, okay? We can get through this together, we—"
His gaze drops down to Yoongi's arms where the sleeves have ridden up a bit. Deep, bloody scratches and wounds adorn the pale skin. They're fresh. And now that Taehyung looks closely, as far as he is able to in the darkness, Yoongi looks extremely beaten up.
"Yoongi, what happened to you?" he asks. His voice resembles a whimper more than anything else. "Please, let us take you home, we'll take care of you, okay? You'll be fine, we can help you, believe me—"
"I had to run away so Jimin wouldn't get hurt," Yoongi cries, "I can't risk it. They will hurt him. I have to keep him safe. This is the only way, Taehyung. Please—"
"Taehyung? What is going on?"
Yoongi's eyes widen at the sound of another voice. He shakes his head, whispering to himself, and takes a step back. Taehyung reaches out for him, but he flinches away.
"Yoongi, wait—"
"Promise me you'll keep him safe, okay? Please. Please take care of him for me." And with one last hurt look, Yoongi turns around and runs away, the darkness of the forest swallowing him whole.
"No!" Taehyung yells, but a moment later, Jimin and Jeongguk are with him.
"Taehyung who was that? What is going on?" Jimin asks, hectically looking around. "Hyung! Yoongi—"
Taehyung quickly shushes him. "Jimin, please, we have to be quiet!"
They will hurt him. Keep Jimin safe.
Jeongguk eyes him suspiciously, then he steps closer and holds him by both arms.
"Hyung," he says and forces Taehyung to look at him, "What is going on?"
Taehyung blinks. His entire body tingles and he feels nauseous.
"I... Yoongi was here," he blurts out, "He was here and... he ran away when he heard you approaching. He doesn't want us here, he told us to go home but he... he has a knife and I think—" He swallows around the tightness in his throat.
"I think he is going to end it," he adds in a whisper. Jimin stares at him, incredulous at first, then more and more angry by the second.
"And... you let him go?" he breathes, furrowing his brows, "You just let him run away?"
"What was I supposed to do? He was panicking, I couldn't—"
"He is going to kill himself, Taehyung!" Jimin suddenly yells, "You just said it yourself, and you couldn't stop him?"
Taehyung has never seen Jimin this angry, and quite frankly, he can't blame him. He lowers his head and takes a step back. Guilt crawls underneath his skin and makes him want to claw at it.
"He had a knife, Jimin," Jeongguk steps in, "He might be dangerous. Who knows, he could have hurt Taehyung."
"Oh, come on," Jimin spits angrily, "He is not here to hurt anyone else, he is only going to hurt himself." He glares at the two, then he turns around and walks away and further into the forest.
"Jimin, wait!" Taehyung reaches out and grabs his wrist to stop him. "Just — wait, okay? You can't just march into the forest and expect to find him."
"Well, do you have a better idea?" Jimin snaps. Taehyung forces himself to remain composed. They can't lose their heads now.
He kneels down in front of Jimin.
"I'm sorry, okay?" he gently says, "I'm sorry I didn't stop him. But fighting about it won't bring Yoongi back. We have to think clearly and come up with a plan. You won't find him by wandering around the forest, you'll only get lost."
Jimin visibly grinds his teeth. His glare remains stoic, but Taehyung can see him crumbling behind the facade.
"Now listen to me, okay? Maybe the crash site wasn't his destination after all," he starts, "Is there another place he could go to that is near us? Anything with a meaning?"
Jimin breathes heavily as he thinks. He looks around, growing more and more impatient by the second.
"I — I don't know!" he exclaims, exasperated, and frees his wrists from Taehyung's hold. He takes a few steps away and tangles his fingers in his hair.
"I don't know, we're in the middle of the forest, what is there supposed to be—"
He halts, eyes widening. Taehyung gets up and exchanges a quick glance with Jeongguk.
"The forest," Jimin whispers, "Oh my God, of course—"
He spins around and starts walking. The others hurry after him.
"Hey, Jimin!"
"How could I not think of that before!" Jimin shouts angrily, "God, I'm so dumb—" He throws a glance at Taehyung and Jeongguk over his shoulder.
"The factory," he explains, "There is an abandoned industrial site here in the forest. Seokjin and Yoongi discovered in during their university days."
It feels like a punch in the face.
"Fuck, you're right," Taehyung breathes, "Hoseok and Namjoon hyung told me about it."
"They used to hang out there all the time. We all did," Jimin goes on, "Yoongi and Seokjin hyung discovered it, it's the reason why they became friends with Hoseok hyung, Yoongi and I, we—" He stops himself, perhaps about to reveal something too personal for his own liking.
"It holds all kinds of memories," he ends, "We spent so much time there, for a while it was like a second home."
Taehyung catches up to Jimin. "It makes sense he'd go there," he says, then quickens his pace, "Come on, we have to hurry. Yoongi hyung is injured, but he is still ahead of us."
Jimin almost stops. "He is injured?"
"Come on!" Taehyung repeats even louder, then they all start running through the forest.
an.:
i posted a new story, a one-chaptered yoonmin songfic. i'd be very happy if some of you could check it out! it's called "romance is dead and done (you better make me better)"